I'm happy, but....

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angie0184
angie0184 Posts: 14 Member
in Success Stories
Finally after 7 years of being completely dissatisfied with myself and my health, I'm exactly where I want to be. I gave up smoking a little over 8 months ago after a pack a day 10 year habit, and I've lost a total of 23 lbs. I'm 5'6 and 125 and don't want to lose or gain any. I do a 25 minute Jillian Michaels workout every day, with an occasional day off if I feel like taking a day off. My husband is thrilled for me, and is nothing but supportive, & when it's just me, him or my friends, I'm a really happy, content girl that I feel like made necessary healthly life changes and is exactly where I need to be.

Now for the but part. Instead of celebrating my successes with me, my parents have fought me every step of the way. They quit smoking the same time I did, and gave up after a few months. I didn't really say anything about it, because they have to make their own life decisions, but when I didn't want to go out to eat with them and sit in the "smoking section", it's because "there's nothing worse than a reformed smoker," followed quickly by a semi-supportive, "but if that's what you need to do to stay quit...." I never can just get a "hey, good job, glad you didn't give in." It always has to be accompanied by some kind of snarky comment about me being preachy about smoking. I don't consider me silently removing myself from a smoky section of the house or where ever we are, being "preachy." If I don't smoke, I certainly don't want to smell like it, or more importantly, breathe it in. They've fought me on the weight loss too. Me working out every day is "obsessive" to them. I take days off every now & then, if I don't feel like working out, I don't. But it's not as though I'm doing daily marathon training sessions at the gym. It's 25 minutes for heavens sake. With 3 lb weights. Not exactly the next strong (wo)man competition. And me being 125 at 5'6 is unhealthily thin apparently. Nevermind the fact that I've shown them BMI charts and told them that my doctor is completely happy with my progress and my physical health. That can't possibly be right because I'm just too thin. They're "shocked" at my portion sizes on the rare occasion that I meet them for dinner because you can actually see the surface of my plate, while theirs is overflowing.

Sorry if I brought everyone down with this, I just had to vent & attempting to talk to them is like throwing words at brick walls. They just don't get it and are in complete denial when I point out how judgemental they're being. I think a lot of it is how dissatisfied they are with their own weight. They talk constantly about making life changes and I've offered more than once to let them borrow my workout DVDs so they can see if it's something they'd be interested in doing, but they get these facial expressions like, um. no, we don't want to be that "hardcore" about it. What part of this am I not understanding, how is 25 minutes of ANYTHING hardcore? I don't count every single calorie, I just set a limit for each meal and try to stay within that, with a few healthy low calorie snacks throughout the day. UUGGGGHHHHHH. It's so frustrating. I know I shouldn't let it affect my own happiness with my accomplishments, but when the people you love the most can't celebrate with you, and worse disregard it or turn it into a negative, it really takes some of the shine off. :(

PS my little progress bar is super outdated lol

Replies

  • wsbri4
    wsbri4 Posts: 7 Member
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    :glasses: you are doing great and don't let anyone get you down!!!
  • ischmelle
    ischmelle Posts: 203 Member
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    First, congrats on your weight loss! 23 pounds is a great accomplishment!

    It is always hard when people don't support you, or worse yet, try to sabotage you. But it is even harder when it is family. It sounds like you have a very supportive husband, which is wonderful. You are on the right thinking, it is their problem, not yours. How unfortunate that they would let the healthy changes their daughter is making strain the relationship with someone who sounds like a well thought out, successful, service woman who anyone should be proud of. I've had alot of people in my life try to tell me that I was being difficult when it came to food because I didn't want to go get the deep dish pizza like everybody else. All i'm asking is that we go to a place that has a healthy option...they can eat whatever they want! I know MPF is the not the same as family, but we understand and are here for you!
  • cat3nv
    cat3nv Posts: 389 Member
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    Some people see what they do not like about themselves and take it out on others. They see you have stuck to it. You persevered what ever challenges were thrown at you, and they gave in.

    Do not let them bring you down. Sometimes the ones who are supposed to love us the most instead hurt us. You stick to what makes you feel good for your healthy lifestyle, and keep setting the example for them. Either they will come around and try being healthy or they will quit picking on you about what you do.
  • alienblonde1
    alienblonde1 Posts: 749 Member
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    Congrats on loss and quitting smoking. Wow the smoking part must be hard. I am glad there is no smoking allowed inside public places in FL. Makes it so much more enjoyable when being out anywhere.
  • carolynmittens
    carolynmittens Posts: 344
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    plain and simple - they're jealous you have the will power to do what they haven't been able to do. don't let it discourage you! maybe just turn every one of their snarky comments into some sort of encouraging comment to them. just kill them with positivity! :)
  • angie0184
    angie0184 Posts: 14 Member
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    Thank you all, what a great bunch of people :) My best friend must have radar for my moods because as I was sitting in my living room finishing that blog, she sent me a text telling me congratulations on reaching my goal weight and that I look great. :happy: I just need to remember to focus on the people that love me AND can be happy for my successes. It certainly doesn't hurt to come here and get such great support from you guys. Congratulations to all of you as well for your successes, it's a step at a time journey. :flowerforyou:
  • ANNMILLE
    ANNMILLE Posts: 8
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    I UNDERSTAND THE "BUT". PRAISE GOD I QUIT SMOKING 20 YEARS THIS APRIL.. MY FAMILY WAS TO QUIT ALSO... LIKE YOURS THEY DID FOR AWHILE. AFTER A FEW YEARS ,THEY DID. I JUST ENDURED THE SMOKING AND KEPT PRAYING THEY WOULD STOP ALSO.
    HERE I AM NOW STRUGGLING WITH A WEIGHT ISSUE I HAVE HAD ALL MY LIFE.. I KEEP TELLING MYSELF, IF I CAN QUIT SMOKING I CAN SURELY GET THE WEIGHT UNDER CONTROL.. THE KEY WORD HERE IS "I". FOR TOO LONG MOST OF US DO THINGS TO PLEASE SOMEONE ELSE... YOU HAVE TO LOOK INTO THE MIRROR AND SAY...." WOW ! I LOOK GOOD. GIRL, YOU HAVE COME FAR... CONGRATS FOR NOT SMOKING ,,,,, MAKING GREAT CHOICES,,,, DOING THE RIGHT THING TODAY......." YOU GET THE PICTURE...

    YOU ARE TO BE CONGRATULATED FOR YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS........ SURROUND YOURSELF WITH POSITIVE PEOPLE... ENDURE THE FAMILY WHEN NEEDED , KEEP PRAYING AND DONT GIVE UP
  • slingdog
    slingdog Posts: 2
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    Just remember who you did it for, You! Don't let anyone steal your mojo... Love and respect for your parents starts with respect for yourself!
  • Allison4C
    Allison4C Posts: 140 Member
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    I'm sorry you're having such a tough time!!! You are making such smart choices and have come so far and you just have to remember that. You're not doing anything wrong, in fact, you are wise to take control of what is going into your body. Working out almost every day is certainly not obsessive either. You have a healthy BMI and are trying to maintain it. Congrats to you on your progress, and know that sometimes when others are not yet ready to make their own life changes they can become critical of those who already have.
  • simplysara9
    simplysara9 Posts: 521
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    First of all, Congratulations on making improvements on your life and sticking with them. I know many changes is very hard but you have stuck to your guns and have lost weight and quit smoking. Kudos to you for doing such a great job.

    I am sorry your family has you feeling down. You need to do this for yourself and it's difficult without their support but please don't let them get you down. Keep up your good work and maybe one day they will realize that you are trying to better yourself and they will be supportive of your endevours.
  • spcopps
    spcopps Posts: 283
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    OMGoodness, I so feel for you, my mother is the exact same way, not only with my weight loss journey but with EVERY aspect of my life. For instance, I dropped out of high school my senior year and went directly to get my GED and finished my Bachelor in accounting. Whenever she says to anyone I have my degree she never fails to add, "but she quit high school". She never stops to think I quit because I was BORED out of my mind. Even after I quit my GPA was so high I still received a presidential scholarship to college and the GED administrator said my score on my GED was the highest she had EVER seen in 15 years of doing GED testing LOL. I had finally had enough and now EVERYTIME she starts to make a sideways remark I just look at her and say "be quiet, you are so negative and I don't want to hear that". YES it may be disrespectful and rude BUT she is disrepecting ME and my family when she says these things. Does it make her mad when I do this, of course it does, but no madder than it makes me for her to say those things. Point being, some people are just NEGATVE people and don't even realize they are being that way so I personally make it a point to let her know when she is being Negative. She has gotten better and I don't say anything in front of other people I wait until it is just us becaue I don't want to make her feel demeaned in front of others the way she does me :huh:
  • BigBoneSista
    BigBoneSista Posts: 2,389 Member
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    Some people see what they do not like about themselves and take it out on others. They see you have stuck to it. You persevered what ever challenges were thrown at you, and they gave in.

    Do not let them bring you down. Sometimes the ones who are supposed to love us the most instead hurt us. You stick to what makes you feel good for your healthy lifestyle, and keep setting the example for them. Either they will come around and try being healthy or they will quit picking on you about what you do.

    I agree.
  • Cam_
    Cam_ Posts: 515 Member
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    Ignore the fools. They are burning up with jealousy. They are too immature to acknowledge your achievements.
    They justify they're bad habits by tearing down your healthy habits.
  • Quaneshia1983
    Quaneshia1983 Posts: 41
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    You are doing a great job don't let what other people say discourage you, in life we have to make our own decisions, I have been through that too you just say whatever. It's feels good to me to be hated on the more haters I have means I'm doing something right. They will come around eventually but don't let that stop you from being HAPPY. Keep up the good work.
  • wanttogetskinny
    wanttogetskinny Posts: 194
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    It sounds to me like your parents are jealous of your successes and are trying to deny it to themselves by saying snarky things out loud to you.....

    You have so much to be proud of! Don't let your parents bring you down. Just accept that this is the way they're going to act, and let it roll off you. Eventually the novelty of you no longer smoking and having a smaller body and exercising daily will wear off and they'll stop.

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