People say hurtful things...
JulieF11
Posts: 387 Member
Are you amazed at what comes out of people's mouths sometimes?!? What are they thinking?
Some things that have been said to me:
1) My son fell down and I was at a local 'quick med' to have his arm x-rayed to see if it was broken. The doctor told me I could not go back with him for the x-ray, in "my condition" , and he looked at my stomach. I WASN'T PREGNANT! How RUDE to make that assumption!
2) A hostess, ready to seat us, takes us to a booth, looks at me up and down and asks if I will fit in a booth okay.
3) While on a cruise, the massage therapist, a wiry fellow, asks me if I work out... I said "no" and he proceeds to tell me the benefits of working out. (Like I didn't know) I tell him I'm on vacation so I didn't even bring tennis shoes. He tells me I can borrow his!!! Not a very relaxing massage!
4) Way back before I was married, when I was dating, a boyfriend of mine said he had something important to ask me. I thought he might be proposing to me. He said he wasn't really sure exactly how to say this so that it would come out right. He then told me that he had talked with his therapist about me and that she suggested he just be forthright... So, he paused, and said he didn't want to marry anyone with a weight problem, and then asked me if I ever thought I'd actually take off the weight and keep it off. BTW- Obviously I broke up immediately, and he later begged for forgiveness and wanted to get back together. NO WAY!
Any of you have comments you'd like to vent?!?
Some things that have been said to me:
1) My son fell down and I was at a local 'quick med' to have his arm x-rayed to see if it was broken. The doctor told me I could not go back with him for the x-ray, in "my condition" , and he looked at my stomach. I WASN'T PREGNANT! How RUDE to make that assumption!
2) A hostess, ready to seat us, takes us to a booth, looks at me up and down and asks if I will fit in a booth okay.
3) While on a cruise, the massage therapist, a wiry fellow, asks me if I work out... I said "no" and he proceeds to tell me the benefits of working out. (Like I didn't know) I tell him I'm on vacation so I didn't even bring tennis shoes. He tells me I can borrow his!!! Not a very relaxing massage!
4) Way back before I was married, when I was dating, a boyfriend of mine said he had something important to ask me. I thought he might be proposing to me. He said he wasn't really sure exactly how to say this so that it would come out right. He then told me that he had talked with his therapist about me and that she suggested he just be forthright... So, he paused, and said he didn't want to marry anyone with a weight problem, and then asked me if I ever thought I'd actually take off the weight and keep it off. BTW- Obviously I broke up immediately, and he later begged for forgiveness and wanted to get back together. NO WAY!
Any of you have comments you'd like to vent?!?
0
Replies
-
Here's mine: I had a goiter on my neck removed and years later another one developed. When I told my nurse practitioner I wanted to have it scanned and looked at by a specialist, she said: "Are you sure that it's not just fat?" Of course it wasn't and I eventually needed a thyroidectomy. SMH!!0
-
Oh wow...just....wow
The only thing I've gotten was from my ex who would tell me he thought I was gaining weight when I wore my old baggy clothes, after I lost a significant amount and became vegan.
After i had changed my diet he said to me "You no longer smell like grease. I think it used to come out of your pores." Yes, I worked at Wendy's when we met and yes I needed to lose some weight, but I wasn't that big, and I didn't have grease oozing out of my pores.
People just don't think before they open up.0 -
Oh My Gosh, those are bad experiences, but SHAME ON THEM!
I've been mistaken for being pregnant before. It is painful. But you know, we can't focus on the horrible things people say or mistakes people make because there are always going to be those idiots out there, regardless of what we look like or who we are. Honestly, it's easier for me to laugh at their stupidity. I just think to myself, "I can lose weight, but you'll always be an idiot!" haha.0 -
I am sorry for what those people said to you, you should have high-fived their face!
Personally I just got sick of my boyfreind poking my bum and asking when I was going to get rid of this, I am now back down to the weight I was when I met him a year ago (yet he still wants me lighter) and now he is the one carrying the extra couple of kilos so I make a point to poke his beer gut every few days and ask when he plans on shrinking it as I held up my end of the bargain and got back to what I was!0 -
My Exhusband discribing a girl he worked with "She's just like you... Back when you were skinny and young" He did start dating her after he moved out.0
-
WOW! Those people had no right to say those things to you. Im sorry.
I have always been at a healthy weight but ever since I had my brain surgeries and was recovering from my paralyzation, I walk with a limp (sometimes). Two years ago on Valentines Day, I was getting some fish to make at Kroger. A bagger looked at me and said "when are you due". I was NOT pregnant and of course I didnt want to eat. My bf was getting food at the time and when he came back, I was so upset. I did sometimes walk funny and look like I am pregnant but he had no right to tell me that. I was prob no bigger than 138-139 and still felt like I was the biggest person.0 -
Sorry you guys had those bad experiences.
Mine is not about weight but it was hurtfull and made me so angry.
After telling my mother inlaw that we were expecting twins she was like really?
Jackie your pregnant? I said yes and she was like oh wow and insted of saying something nice
the first thing that came out of her mouth was "oh! we don't have money for a babie shower"
OMG!! I wanted to yell at her and tell her not only do I not expect anything from her but who the hell was asking for a shower?
We were just sharing our happy news. After being soo angry I started to feel so hurt.
not so much because of what she said (Like i said I don't expect anything from her)
but I think she should have kept that to herself.
I thought she didn't like me before but after this I'm sure.
since another daughter in-law is pregnant and she is having a small shower for her.
Don't know if it's because i'm not Mexican or because she just doesn't like me.
Whatever the case I think she was wrong.
worst part is, now if she gives me anything i'm not gonna want it. (that's how much it bothered me)and I feel guilty for feeling this way :sad:
Some people!:explode:0 -
My father-in-law is the King of insults. Honestly. It makes me wonder how my husband grew up with any sensitivity at all.
Anyway, we bought a Toyota Matrix last summer and he looked at the car and said, "That's a little car. Are you sure that's the right car for you?"
Gah! He makes me shudder. Such an unpleasant man!0 -
Mine was always from family telling me that I would be so handsome if I just lost some weight well now that I'm losing weight I refuse to even see them0
-
Hmm I had a 2yr old in my preschool class tell me that I was having a baby just like her mommy cause I have a fat belly (this normally wouldn't bother me since Kids are just honest, however hubby and I have been TTC for over a year now..and I'd like nothing more then to gain a few lbs because I have a baby growing inside me)
However I think the WORST thing someone ever said/done was when I was shopping with a skinny friend and the sales lady made it a point to let me know that nothing in the store would fit me.(I took the purse,earrings,and necklace I had and was intending to buy and left them laying on the ground,my friend gave the lady the clothes she had in her arms and we both left).
There was another time I was doing some Christmas shopping and looking at stuff for my niece and the sales person felt the need to tell me that the plus size section would have a better selection for me.0 -
I was at a craft show said some complementary things about some shawls a woman had knitted. In return, she said if I liked one she could knit one in a bigger size for me...a shawl. Needless to say, I did not buy the crappy shawl from the rude woman:mad:0
-
My ex-wife, right before she left:
"I just don't find you attractive. You got fat, and you disgust me"
She was borderline obese, by the BMI scale, as well, but that was beside the point. 36lbs down, she keeps remarking how great I look now whenever I go pick up my son...how I looked when we met...0 -
People can be so mean!!
We were visiting relatives last Christmas and my Uncle greets me with, "You're getting big!" No Hi, or Hello. And then when we were leaving, "Next time you come visit you'll be twice as big!" Yeah, Merry Christmas to you Uncle!0 -
:bigsmile: <---me........doing cha cha cha dance around the house
husband "How much have you lost?"
:bigsmile: <---- me "TWENTY POUNDS!!!!" cha cha cha
husband "Pfft, is that all?'
I don't miss him
:laugh: 0 -
It's not so much as what people say, but it's the looks and (let's face it) lack of looks I get. I hate shopping at "normal" stores, I feel like the sales ladies look at me thinking, "Like we would have a size that's big enough to fit you." I see all these skinny, thin girls in my classes and I think, they probably don't even have to try that hard. I try to work out three to four times a week, and I'm barely under the obesity weight.
I see the way guys look at me too. Or I should say, they look past me. All they see is a mass of person, not a young woman. I'm not saying I need a guy's attention, but it would be nice once in a while. I'm twenty years old and I've never been on a real date. Guys don't look at me the same way they do my other friends. I feel like an outsider, and they don't even say anything.
My friends never quite know what to do when we're shopping either. I stand there while they try on their "normal" sizes, I pretend I'm interested in the jewelry or handbags, and then when we pass a store that has my size, they look at me and are like, "Do you want to go in? We can wait if you want to look..." I know they mean well, but it's just so annoying.0 -
People can be so mean!!
We were visiting relatives last Christmas and my Uncle greets me with, "You're getting big!" No Hi, or Hello. And then when we were leaving, "Next time you come visit you'll be twice as big!" Yeah, Merry Christmas to you Uncle!
My uncle said to me, after not seeing me for 10 years," Wow you must be making good money!"
"Why?"
"Your obviously not missing any meals"
:noway: :grumble: 0 -
Aren't you glad he had that 'conversation' with you before it was too late.
some people are clueless. I've heard lots of 'off' conversations myself, but nothing worth repeating.0 -
Man... I think I'd dump him!0
-
I think people can be rude in general and it extendes to judgement for being heavy or thin. I went out to eat with some co-works and was sitting at the end of the booth, the waitress took everyone's order and then just started to walk away!!! I was like "hey! I haven't ordered yet" and she said "I just assumed you didn't eat because your so skinny". My agent sends me out on audtions for crack *kitten*, unattractive, character and sickly. It makes me paranoid like if I lose the look no one will hire me anymore, yet at the same time to hear how ugly you are in each and every brakedown sent your way it really plays on your self-esteem. I think as we venture out into the world each day we have to remind ourselves to be kind to everyone and not to judge fat, skinny, tall, short we all have the ability to hurt or be hurt at the same time we have the ability to inspire, uplift and encourage.0
-
After being frustrated about it for a long time, I asked my husband-at-the-time why he was always making insulting comments to me about women who were about my size being fat, when he'd never complained about the weight I'd put on.
His response? "Well, I find you attractive because I love you, but I'd never START dating anyone your size."
(The best part about it is that his current wife is fatter than me. Gee, maybe he finally learned that size isn't what makes someone worth dating? One can hope.)0 -
Ooooh. I have the same problem with my mom!My friends never quite know what to do when we're shopping either. I stand there while they try on their "normal" sizes, I pretend I'm interested in the jewelry or handbags, and then when we pass a store that has my size, they look at me and are like, "Do you want to go in? We can wait if you want to look..." I know they mean well, but it's just so annoying.
My worst was not something actually said to me. My in-laws pulled my husband aside several years ago to "inquire" about my weight "out of concern for my health." They're so "concerned" that the last time they came to visit they brought a whole batch of sugar cookies and a whole batch of brownies with them. All that went straight into the trash the minute they walked out the door.0 -
When I was in high school, I kept going up and down between 130-150 pounds. Being 5'2, I looked quite chubby. My brother would put up one of those pics of those 500+ lbs lady posing in the nude (they would have those in the greeting cards section at stores like spencer's), he put it up on the fridge thinking it'll help me stop overeating. Now I wish I was back to 130-150 lbs.0
-
I was grocery shopping one day and I saw some new spicy doritos that were on sale and I knew my husband wanted to try them so I grabbed a bag. An older woman looked at me and said do you really think you need those!!!!! UGH I was so pissed especially since I wasn't even planning on eating them and it was so rude! People amaze me at what they say to strangers...obviously no one taught them to keep there mouths shut:-( I just try to treat people of all shapes and sizes with respect! Just remember people who say rude things are usually trying to over compensate for whatever they are lacking in their lives. It makes them happier to make other people as miserable as them!!!!0
-
My brother walked into my room, said, "You eat too much, and you're getting fat," and walked out. I' have an ED and he knows it.
Not to mention I'm at a healthy weight.
0 -
Hmm I had a 2yr old in my preschool class tell me that I was having a baby just like her mommy cause I have a fat belly (this normally wouldn't bother me since Kids are just honest, however hubby and I have been TTC for over a year now..and I'd like nothing more then to gain a few lbs because I have a baby growing inside me)
However I think the WORST thing someone ever said/done was when I was shopping with a skinny friend and the sales lady made it a point to let me know that nothing in the store would fit me.(I took the purse,earrings,and necklace I had and was intending to buy and left them laying on the ground,my friend gave the lady the clothes she had in her arms and we both left).
There was another time I was doing some Christmas shopping and looking at stuff for my niece and the sales person felt the need to tell me that the plus size section would have a better selection for me.
I, too, was shopping for gift in a clothing store and the very slender saleswoman came running over to me to tell me that they did not carry anything that would fit me. I was mortified as she said it loud enough for other shoppers to hear. I held back the tears and politely told her that I was shopping for gift but that there wasn't anything in the store that my friend would like. Thinking back on it...reminds of the movie "Pretty Woman" when she was trying to buy a dress to go out to dinner.....hurts no matter why the shop says that you don't belong in it.0 -
People are ridiculous. I can't even imagine saying those things. Use common sense and consideration for others people....0
-
I am sorry for what those people said to you, you should have high-fived their face!
Personally I just got sick of my boyfriend poking my bum and asking when I was going to get rid of this, I am now back down to the weight I was when I met him a year ago (yet he still wants me lighter) and now he is the one carrying the extra couple of kilos so I make a point to poke his beer gut every few days and ask when he plans on shrinking it as I held up my end of the bargain and got back to what I was!
I would dump anyone so superficial. :grumble:0 -
Hmm I had a 2yr old in my preschool class tell me that I was having a baby just like her mommy cause I have a fat belly (this normally wouldn't bother me since Kids are just honest, however hubby and I have been TTC for over a year now..and I'd like nothing more then to gain a few lbs because I have a baby growing inside me)
However I think the WORST thing someone ever said/done was when I was shopping with a skinny friend and the sales lady made it a point to let me know that nothing in the store would fit me.(I took the purse,earrings,and necklace I had and was intending to buy and left them laying on the ground,my friend gave the lady the clothes she had in her arms and we both left).
There was another time I was doing some Christmas shopping and looking at stuff for my niece and the sales person felt the need to tell me that the plus size section would have a better selection for me.
I, too, was shopping for gift in a clothing store and the very slender saleswoman came running over to me to tell me that they did not carry anything that would fit me. I was mortified as she said it loud enough for other shoppers to hear. I held back the tears and politely told her that I was shopping for gift but that there wasn't anything in the store that my friend would like. Thinking back on it...reminds of the movie "Pretty Woman" when she was trying to buy a dress to go out to dinner.....hurts no matter why the shop says that you don't belong in it.
Ask to speak with their boss next time. Get their sorry butts fired or at least written up.
0 -
I`m in Japan teaching English and let`s just say I`m terribly ``fat`` by their standards... Anyways, one day, I was eating ONE cookie and a male colleague told me - in front of the whole damn staff - that I should strongly consider what I put in my mouth.
`` You don`t want to become the first female sumo in history, dont you ? `` That one really hurt...0 -
When my son was about 8 months old, I was getting lunch at a local restaurant and the guy checking me out asked when I was due. I was always really thin before I had my son and had heard of these types of tales but never truly believed it really happened. I was appalled.0
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.2K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.2K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 421 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.7K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions