I made my kid overweight
erica79
Posts: 242 Member
I went to sign my 8 year old boy up for football yesterday and was told he has to lose 15 pounds or he will have to move up to the next division. I can't believe I let him get this big. I feel like such a bad mother for allowing him to eat so much.
A little history... My son was born 2lbs and 3 months early. He was a peanut. unitl age 5 he was on of the smallest kids in the family. He's always been very active. He's been playing baseball, football, steet hockey, basketball and bowling since he was 5. His first year of football is when he starting getting bigger and his appetite increased A LOT. He would come home from school have a sandwich, go to football practice for 2 hours and then come home and have a normal dinner. At the time, I was watching my weight and it never really occured that this was wrong. Plus like I said he was a peanut at that time so with all the exercise he was getting I thought he really needed that extra sandwich before practice. And maybe he did but once football was done he continued eating this way. And we didn't stop him..
So 3 years later, my kid is overweight. Since I starting eating healthy my husband and son have too. We eat only whole wheat pasta and brown rice, hardly any sweets and no soda. He has lots of apples, yogurt veggies etc Of course he'd still rather cookies, but so wouldn't I.... I pack a lunch every day so he's not eating processed school lunches. Still with all this eating healthy he has managed to continue to gain and not lose. I made an appointment to speak to our doctor about this but in the meantime, does anyone have any ideas on how to get him to lose weight? It's getting nice out now and we have been getting out more and more to ride bikes, walk to dogs etc...but when you are only 8 and you have to lose 15 pounds..it's really hard..
Pleasen no parenting bashing. I already feel pretty rotten.
thanks for reading..
A little history... My son was born 2lbs and 3 months early. He was a peanut. unitl age 5 he was on of the smallest kids in the family. He's always been very active. He's been playing baseball, football, steet hockey, basketball and bowling since he was 5. His first year of football is when he starting getting bigger and his appetite increased A LOT. He would come home from school have a sandwich, go to football practice for 2 hours and then come home and have a normal dinner. At the time, I was watching my weight and it never really occured that this was wrong. Plus like I said he was a peanut at that time so with all the exercise he was getting I thought he really needed that extra sandwich before practice. And maybe he did but once football was done he continued eating this way. And we didn't stop him..
So 3 years later, my kid is overweight. Since I starting eating healthy my husband and son have too. We eat only whole wheat pasta and brown rice, hardly any sweets and no soda. He has lots of apples, yogurt veggies etc Of course he'd still rather cookies, but so wouldn't I.... I pack a lunch every day so he's not eating processed school lunches. Still with all this eating healthy he has managed to continue to gain and not lose. I made an appointment to speak to our doctor about this but in the meantime, does anyone have any ideas on how to get him to lose weight? It's getting nice out now and we have been getting out more and more to ride bikes, walk to dogs etc...but when you are only 8 and you have to lose 15 pounds..it's really hard..
Pleasen no parenting bashing. I already feel pretty rotten.
thanks for reading..
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Replies
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I would say just wait and see what the doctor says...with all the healthy eating and exercise i don't think you could do anything more! just watch his sugar intake, even naturally occuring sugar. maybe he has a thyroid problem or something...or maybe he's about to hit a growth spurt and his height will catch up to his weight!0
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Honestly, some kids just put on a bit of extra weight around this age and it balances out once they hit puberty. So long as he is eating a balanced diet, with occasional treats and getting plenty of exercise, I would not worry about his weight. There are more factors to determine health than just weight.0
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I am a wrestling coach and many parents put their kids into wrestling because they hope they will lose weight. I once had a 5 year old kid who was 95 pounds... for about 2 practices, before his parents stopped bringing him and returning my phone calls.
My guess is that if he's an active kid, is eating healthy foods, and doesn't have any underlying medical conditions that the problem probably boils down to portion size. You should know from this website that you CAN have too much of a good thing. Find out from your doctor or the internet how many calories he should be eating a day and adjust his diet accordingly.
I grew up with a pretty bad sense of portion sizes and it made me overweight any time I wasn't full-on into sports. I know how it goes. Good luck, at least you recognize the problem and are trying to fix it.0 -
also, if that's him in the picture i don't think he looks that overweight! looks like a normal 8 year old to me, but all kids are different...my nephew will be 7 in a couple weeks and he's only 32 lbs! he's tiny!0
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I agree see what the doctor says and then work on an action plan.0
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Wait until you talk to the doctor and then you will be able to decide what course of action to take.0
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I am a wrestling coach and many parents put their kids into wrestling because they hope they will lose weight. I once had a 5 year old kid who was 95 pounds... for about 2 practices, before his parents stopped bringing him and returning my phone calls.
My guess is that if he's an active kid, is eating healthy foods, and doesn't have any underlying medical conditions that the problem probably boils down to portion size. You should know from this website that you CAN have too much of a good thing. Find out from your doctor or the internet how many calories he should be eating a day and adjust his diet accordingly.
I grew up with a pretty bad sense of portion sizes and it made me overweight any time I wasn't full-on into sports. I know how it goes. Good luck, at least you recognize the problem and are trying to fix it.
thanks. That was my plan for tonight. I do think his portions might be too big. Going to dig and see how many calories he should be consuming. Maybe I'll track his intake as well.0 -
You might find that he's getting food from other sources during the day. I did that when I was smaller - I would buy unhealthy snacks from shops ALL THE TIME. I didn't learn! Needless to say I put on weight after puberty ended. Anyway, don't assume he's just eating what you give him - he simply CANNOT gain weight on less than his BMR anyway.
Edit - sorry if this sounds horrible or rude! - I'm just relating it to what I did when I was younger, and what a lot of children do.0 -
also, if that's him in the picture i don't think he looks that overweight! looks like a normal 8 year old to me, but all kids are different...my nephew will be 7 in a couple weeks and he's only 32 lbs! he's tiny!
32 pounds! that's tiny. That is him in the picture. He's not huge, just got a belly and but like him mom
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I'm wondering if portion control might be the key. Is he having adult sized meals or ones appropriate to his age?
Also, could he be accessing other food or drinking his calories in soda at school? One thing I used to do was take any money I'd been given and shove it straingt in the vending machine to get chocolate with.
It's good you've noticed now and that you have the opportunity to turn it around :-D0 -
don't be so hard on yourself..i am so sorry you are feeling this way, but just think..at least you aren't like those parents on maury that have 3 year olds over 100 lbs..you are doing what you cna to improve yourself AND your family..you are doing a wonderful thing as a mother..wait and see what the doctor says, then go from there...best of luck 0
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My son was pushing overweight at that age, he stayed that way through 8th grade. Then suddenly, he hit a growth spell. He is now 6 foot and slightly underweight. I think it is genetics. I would not panic about it or feel guilty at all. I would talk to the doctor. Children all grow in different ways. Now if he is sitting on the coach, playing video games and eating snacks 24/7, you might be a little justified in your guilt. But I really think he is probably pretty normal.0
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I went to sign my 8 year old boy up for football yesterday and was told he has to lose 15 pounds or he will have to move up to the next division. I can't believe I let him get this big. I feel like such a bad mother for allowing him to eat so much.
A little history... My son was born 2lbs and 3 months early. He was a peanut. unitl age 5 he was on of the smallest kids in the family. He's always been very active. He's been playing baseball, football, steet hockey, basketball and bowling since he was 5. His first year of football is when he starting getting bigger and his appetite increased A LOT. He would come home from school have a sandwich, go to football practice for 2 hours and then come home and have a normal dinner. At the time, I was watching my weight and it never really occured that this was wrong. Plus like I said he was a peanut at that time so with all the exercise he was getting I thought he really needed that extra sandwich before practice. And maybe he did but once football was done he continued eating this way. And we didn't stop him..
So 3 years later, my kid is overweight. Since I starting eating healthy my husband and son have too. We eat only whole wheat pasta and brown rice, hardly any sweets and no soda. He has lots of apples, yogurt veggies etc Of course he'd still rather cookies, but so wouldn't I.... I pack a lunch every day so he's not eating processed school lunches. Still with all this eating healthy he has managed to continue to gain and not lose. I made an appointment to speak to our doctor about this but in the meantime, does anyone have any ideas on how to get him to lose weight? It's getting nice out now and we have been getting out more and more to ride bikes, walk to dogs etc...but when you are only 8 and you have to lose 15 pounds..it's really hard..
Pleasen no parenting bashing. I already feel pretty rotten.
thanks for reading..
Agreed with the previous poster-- my kids have all totally chunked out at different times....starting around age 8, and then, yes, as growth spurts hit, up they shoot. I have a nine year old girl who has always been chunkier than the other kids, and is now about a head and and a half taller than them.
God makes us all differently. Personally, the last thing I'd worry about is getting him into football. I knew a parent who weekly would put his son in a sweatsuit and make him run laps around the football field, at age 8, to get him to weight before game time. He would also restrict food.
The rest of us parents were aghast.
Your son is healthy, no? You're a good mom. You feed him well. Don't bash yourself. Weight limits for football are only necessary for "injury" purposes. They're certainly not indicative of your parenting skills, so cut yourself some slack.
Sounds like you have a healthy kid, eating good food. To put him on a diet or restrict his intake would seem folly, in my opinion-- as long as he's not sitting on his behind all day playing X-box and/or eating crap food, I wouldn't sweat it.0 -
I'm not a parent... but maybe some fun activities around town? Skating is a blast, and speed skating can burn as many calories as running but actually give you better muscle tone, plus its a lot of fun! Bike ridding as a family, or playing tennis, etc as a family would also be a lot of fun and not seem as much like exercise Good luck! 0
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One suggestion-- if not already-- try to ensure not eating too close to bed time-- even if healthy food, doesn't get burned off as well when you go to sleep soon after eating.0
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I would say this may have to do with natural weight gain before a growth spurt. If he is eating healthy and exercising there is not much else he can do. I would get him checked and make sure every thing is okay in terms of thyroid and insulin levels. Also, does he have access to food outside your house. Is he trading his food for other food? I used to do that despite the healthy lunches my mom would pack me.
I want to tell you that you shouldn't feel rotten. Kids don't come with manuals and you are already making healthy changes for your whole family. Please don't feel guilty. My mom thinks it is her fault I am so heavy but I don't blame her because she tried very hard to give us healthy choices. Ultimately I am the one who has made the choices I have made. Not her. Just give your son the tools he needs to be healthy and be proud of doing that. He will know you love him and care about his health.0 -
I think a lot of kids that age go through a chunky stage. You also need to be careful so that he knows not to feel bad about himself or end up with low self esteem. When I was 8 I was a chunky kid, my gym teacher even told me I needed to lose weight (only in not such a nice way). It pretty much ruined my image of myself. Of course by the time I was 13 I had lost that extra weight (through no dieting or exercising) and I was one of the skinniest in my class. My cousin's daughter (who I basically raised until she was 5) is now 9 years old. When she was 7 and 8 she went through a little chunky stage and my cousin freaked out. She now limits what Cheyenne eats and will even stop her before she's finished with a meal. It scares me because now when Cheyenne can she will go crazy over sweets and fatty foods before she has to go back to her mom, which is definitely not good for her! I think do what everybody else says, talk to a doctor, and maybe it's just a little stage he is going through!0
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I think that you are doing the right thing. You seem like a great mom who cares about her son. Check with the doctor and ask your son if he is eating other things than what you give him. He might get upset so dont hound him, just ask him in a nice, fun way. Good luck!!!0
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Also, there is some research that suggests that preemies becoming larger children in later childhood, because parents are always trying to "catch them up." My son was a month early, had problems feeding and as in the NICU, and I was always so concerned about him being small and delayed, and now he has definitely caught up.0
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This happened to my son at about the same age (age 7-9). Then, when he was 10, he had a major growth spurt and thinned out and has been an average weight for the last 9 years. If you are truly concerned, I agree with watching portion sizes on meals. If he is still hungry, give him a bowl of fruit with a little yogurt or an apple with a little peanut butter. Don't bring any junk in the house, then he can't beg for it! Focus on "being healthy" not "losing weight" so he doesn't have negative body issues (yes, boys can have eating disorders too!). I think you are doing everything you can for him....good job!0
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Agreed with the previous poster-- my kids have all totally chunked out at different times....starting around age 8, and then, yes, as growth spurts hit, up they shoot. I have a nine year old girl who has always been chunkier than the other kids, and is now about a head and and a half taller than them.
God makes us all differently. Personally, the last thing I'd worry about is getting him into football. I knew a parent who weekly would put his son in a sweatsuit and make him run laps around the football field, at age 8, to get him to weight before game time. He would also restrict food.
The rest of us parents were aghast.
Your son is healthy, no? You're a good mom. You feed him well. Don't bash yourself. Weight limits for football are only necessary for "injury" purposes. They're certainly not indicative of your parenting skills, so cut yourself some slack.
Sounds like you have a healthy kid, eating good food. To put him on a diet or restrict his intake would seem folly, in my opinion-- as long as he's not sitting on his behind all day playing X-box and/or eating crap food, I wouldn't sweat it.
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thank you. I needed to hear that. Im not really worried about football except for that he really loves it and wants ot play and I can't imagine him moving up to the next division yet. He's get crushed. lol0 -
My son did that. He got chunky for a while and literally had rolls around his waist. He got lazy and didn't want to get out and do much because of it. But then, he shot up to 6"4 and thinned right out. Now, he's 22 and very active and underweight! I'm doing my best to put weight on him because he's much too thin.
So don't worry too much. Feed him healthily, have him checked by doc, and keep him as active as you can. I think you'll both be fine!0 -
When I was younger I was put on a million and one diets and "healthy eating plans" by my well-meaning parents but at the end of the day their interest or mine faded and it was back to old ways. My brother however is 13 years younger than me and was following the same pattern with his weight that I did, so we looked for some advice on something that would help him without trapping him in a lifetime of yoyo dieting like me. The best advice we got was that, with kids, unless they're very obese, you generally shouldn't be trying to make them lose lots of weight, but rather concentrate on educating them about food and help them maintain their current weight - kids grow pretty quickly and eventually they will "grow into" their weight. It might not solve your problem about getting him on the team in the short-term but I know I would have preferred that my parents did it slowly but surely with me rather than confusing me with mixed messages and overly-restrictive diets that made us all miserable. My brother is now a healthy teenager who is an appropriate weight for his height whilst 13 years on I'm still struggling with my weight.0
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portion control is a must!!! have him read labels and learn what one portion is/looks like. my kiddos love apples and peanut butter and it is easy to let them have however much they want and think they are 'eating healthy'. but a large apple is actually 2 servings of fruit and a correct portion (2 tablespoons) of peanut butter does not seem like much. have him measure it out.
my oldest son complains of being hungry all the time, but i know he does this because he is thirsty or bored, not actually hungry. i have him drink a glass of water first and wait 15 minutes before i give him a snack of 10 baby carrots. if he comes back after the carrots and says he is still hungry, i know it is real hunger. if not, i know it was thirst or boredom. many times, he won't even finish the carrots.
find something healthy that he doesn't really love, could be green beans or grapes or cauliflower. when he says he is hungry, give him the option of eating a bowl of that. if he takes it, he is truly hunger. if he doesn't, he is not. don't give him the option of anything else.
cut out all 'liquid calories' other than water and 2 servings of milk. they are not necessary. no juice! and make sure you are only giving him 1 serving at a time - measure it out!0 -
I agree to see what the doctor says. He is burning a lot of calories from sports. With him still being young, playing sports and going through growth spurts, you don't want to deprive him of the food he needs. But you don't want to encourage overeating too. The snack before football practice probably isn't the culprit here, it's probably all about portion sizes.0
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I have the exact same problem except it is with my daughter. She is 7 and weighs 107lbs, unlike your son she actually started out at 9lbs 9oz and hasn't slowed down a bit. She is also very tall so she carries her weight well (much like me). I am 6 foot tall and my husband is 6'2 we are big people. About 6 weeks ago at dance class we had observation night where the parents could watch the girls dance during their class and for some odd reason it just struck me how much bigger she is than the other girls her age. I vowed that night to make her healthier. I got a ton of flack on another forum I frequent about being a bad parent and what not. I do think her biggest problems is portion control and she eats out of bordem. We live in MN so winters are always rough...its hard to get the kids out and moving. The first thing I did was take her grocery shopping with me and let her pick out healthy things that she likes so when she thinks she needs a snack the only option is a healthy snack. The next thing we did is really honed in on her portions. She only gets one serving and doesn't get seconds. Occaionally she will ask for seconds and I will ask her if she is still really hungry or just wants it, 90% of them time she ends up not wanting the seconds. I also started packing her lunch at school so I knew exactly what she was eating. Over all this has all worked really well for us. She has lost about 3 lbs, but our focus was not to lose but to maintian. Over the summer I would like her to lose a few pounds but I am not going to tell her that. We are simply going to move more and focus on keeping her active. Good luck with your journey with your son....it is very hard they don't understand. My daughter wants to be bigger than her 9 year old brother....she doesn't understand that being bigger than him isn't a good thing.0
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A couple of things:
First of all, I teach 2nd grade and I have noticed that children do tend to get kind of chunky at this age. I think they go through a lot of growth spurts and need the extra fat.
Secondly, if he's working out hard at his sports, that brings his metabolism up and then when he is off season, it's going to drop. Is there a way you can counteract this by doing other sports off season? My 9 year daughter swims on the swim team year round, but I notice when we don't go to practice as much, that little belly starts popping out!
What kind of yogurt are you buying? Most yogurts have a high sugar content; especially those marketed for children. It's horrible how companies sneak that sugar in food! :grumble:
Is he drinking a lot of fruit juice? Juice has a really high sugar content as well; almost as much as soda! It's much better to eat the fruit and drink water (just remember that fruit has sugar, too). Or, maybe try diluting the juice? I usually pour half juice and half water for my kids.
Do you buy whole grain bread? That might help keep him full longer, if he's getting hungry often. Also, things like cheese sticks and maybe keeping carrot sticks or sliced sweet bell peppers with a little bit of light ranch around for easy snacks. My son LOVES to eat clementine oranges. They are small and really easy to peel.
I don't know if any of this helps you. I'm sure your doctor will have some great advice.
Good luck! 0 -
I think many people have made some good points here. Maybe it was already mentioned but I don't think you son needs to actually LOSE that weight. The extra 15 lbs may make you feel rotten and, as parents, we all feel rotten about SOMETHING we've "done" to our children! It's ok, you haven't failed him or been a bad mother. Just make sure he's maintaining his current weight and not gaining more and within a year he'll grow right into that 15lbs!! They grow like CRAZY, don't they? If he hasn't gotten much taller in the last year or so then he'll probably sprout up a few inches any day now!
Keep up the great work. It sounds like you are doing a lot better than many parents are. Don't beat yourself up so much!0 -
i wouldn't worry to much about it, as long as you are now eating healthy. I honestly think it's his age, my husband was a tad on the chubby side around that age then he must have hit a growth spurt, because the weight just came off.....both him and his brother did the same thing..... 0
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One thing I've noticed with kids right before puberty is that their bodies hold on to fat, and then puberty hits, they grow a few inches and boom, they're walking around on chicken legs again.
Keep his diet healthy like you have been, I wouldn't necessarily try to get him to lose weight at 8 years old though.0
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