Confession... some days I don't want to enter all my food...

aecryan
aecryan Posts: 89
edited September 26 in Motivation and Support
because i am embarrassed about how I have stuffed my face with sugar and fat. I consider not entering the correct amounts or conveniently skipping that candy bar, dessert, or french fries.

I mean it is silly not enter everything. It's not like my mfp friends will abandon me because I go over or make bad choices. Only 2 of my mfp friends are IRL, and I am positive our friendship is not dependent on my weight loss.

So... what gives? I feel like I am trying to lie to myself. Like if I don't enter it in, then it didn't happen. I feel shame when I don't eat right and I want to hide it. Hide from who though? Myself? Ugh! I had no idea that trying to lose 20 lbs would be so emotional.

Please tell me someone else feels this way...

Replies

  • AngelaPowPowPOW
    AngelaPowPowPOW Posts: 293
    You could start looking at it like I do. Instead of not wanting to post it, I don't want to eat it so they can't read it. lol
  • Soccerstar19
    Soccerstar19 Posts: 56
    I heard someone else say this once and it seems relevant now so, You can't lie to your body, but you can lie to everyone else. So if you don't want other people to know that's fine but your body knows. Just a thought and I must admit that I don't always track every calorie the day of but I will wait until the next day to enter it into the previous day.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,416 Member
    Lots of us do, I'm sure.

    There is a lot of emotional stuff that comes up with this process. It is extremely fraught with triggers for feeling defeated and angry.

    I've been where you are. I really dislike logging food in general, but mostly it's because I have to be honest and vigilent. It is really time consuming and annoying for me. Plus I start to obsess over every little bite and every macro and micronutrient.

    I feel you. Gaah.gifIt's tough: and after a lifetime of just eating, it is a huge change and requires you to judge yourself for everything. I think that's why it is easier to make it a life/health choice instead of being about food.
  • Angela4Health
    Angela4Health Posts: 1,319 Member
    By entering it you are holding yourself accountable, and only then can you start making changes. If you don't see those big ugly red number in fat, calories, and sugar, you most likely won't stop what you're doing. By entering everything, everyday, you and your MFP friends can hold you accountable, suggest new snack ideas, encourage you to eat better and healthier. You are only cheating yourself by not entering everything. I thought about it once, when I went way over my calories due to a bit too much wine, but I'm glad I decided to enter it and hold myself accountable.
  • hush7hush
    hush7hush Posts: 2,273 Member
    You could start looking at it like I do. Instead of not wanting to post it, I don't want to eat it so they can't read it. lol


    Same here.
  • medavis510
    medavis510 Posts: 11
    I do it too! Saturday night is usually my "bad night", and I do not want to put in how many drinks I had. I think I skip it because I do not want to see how much I actually consumed, and know it was waaaaay over the limit.
  • Mad_Dog_Muscle
    Mad_Dog_Muscle Posts: 1,251 Member
    I can relate, it's easier to "forget" to add the odd chocolate here and there, but we are only cheating ourselves when we do that. One thing I told myself when I joined was that this only works if I am honest with myself and log EVERYTHING I put in my mouth! And your right, no one here would abandon you, that's not what this place is about. It's about support, and we got your back! :-)
  • brucebk
    brucebk Posts: 3
    I agree.....posting it makes us accountable. For me, if I know I am going to have to post it later, I think before I eat. Doesnt always work for me, but at the end of the day it is in my face. Eventually, I hope it will get a little easier.
  • kylakesgal
    kylakesgal Posts: 952 Member
    Hi there.....I've had days that I've wanted to stuff my face especially in the beginning but seems to me that over time, it is toning down a lot. I do log EVERYTHING and because I do that makes me more accountable. When I am wanting to eat that food I know i shouldn't, it really makes you stop and think first, "do I really want to log this". It's a mind thing for me but whatever works right?
    The only one it hurts anyway is ourselves and slows down our weight loss. I believe everything in moderation. If I deprive myself, it only makes the cravings worse so indulge every now and then but log it lol. You can do this:) Feel free to add me if you like. I"m on here every single day and I"m nearing my 70th day. Good luck to you!
  • a_freeman
    a_freeman Posts: 116 Member
    Yep, I made up my mind to record what I eat no matter what. You are not alone. It's the hardest thing in the world to post bad food choices but like anullah said, knowing I'm going to post it regardless stops me from eating it most of the time.
  • anubis609
    anubis609 Posts: 3,966 Member
    In a sense, you really are trying to lie to yourself. It's the shame from not wanting to admit you made a mistake. Unfortunately, whether you log it or not, it happened. Owning up to it is part of the process in knowing your motivation level. If you had a friend who hid the fact that they had a large order of fries and told you that they ate a cup of broccoli instead, then later you find a red box with a couple of golden arches on it in their trash [because you happened to conveniently throw away a napkin there], it's not like you would chastise them or cry out blasphemy if you knew they were honestly trying to lose weight, right?

    Same difference. Be your own best friend. Confidence comes from knowing that mistakes are just hard knocks of life that help us learn. If there were no mistakes, there would be no reason to create support sites for weight loss. If there were no mistakes, weight loss wouldn't be needed. If there were no mistakes, how would you know the difference between what failure and success feel like? Life would be pretty damn boring without some variety. Everyone has their own problems...and I love mine. They've been good to me.
  • kymarai
    kymarai Posts: 3,702 Member
    LOL! Considered it tonight! Had cake at work, knew that I just wasn't up to any more exercise, over by 60 calories, oh well! Honest with myself first, Tomorrow is a new day! It is surprising how much that little snacking adds up. Be honest with yourself! Journey is not a short trip!
  • monylove311
    monylove311 Posts: 251 Member
    As they say in AA (no, i'm not a member) It works if you work it! So, keep coming back and keep logging! (that last part was me. ) Best wishes!
  • Pebble321
    Pebble321 Posts: 6,423 Member
    I understand, there's days when I don't want to either, but I do it anyway.
    You know it's a good idea, that's why you're here :)
    I love the comment from the pp that "you can lie to your friends (and your dairy!) but you can't lie to your body" I must remember this next time I don't want to put in that extra snack.
  • Azuleelan
    Azuleelan Posts: 218
    I love beer. I don't enter all beer. Enough said! :D
  • CakeFit21
    CakeFit21 Posts: 2,521 Member
    I felt like this today with sodium because I'm always reminding peeps to watch it. I even briefly considered changing my nutrient tracker thing so no one would see it. In the end I called myself out for it on my status and owned it. I know people read my diary and I def. get embarrassed. I just have to remember that this is my life and even though I'd like to edit it, it is what it is.

    Our relationships do not depend on weight loss, but we do have to confront our relationships with that candy bar, (or in my case today, the vindaloo curry). If you know you have to face the calorie tracker and you don't want to see those numbers in the red, we'll eventually change the way we eat. That's exactly why those numbers are red. It's not really a friendly color :wink:

    Hang in there, girl. It is emotional, but you know it'll be worth it.
  • hschimke
    hschimke Posts: 14
    This is about you and nobody else... If you makes you feel better, hide your diary.. Might may you feel better.
    I have moments I don't want to track everything but I am the ONLY one that loses out. Learn to NOT lie to yoursef, as you have to LIVE with yourself.
  • SoFLYFireman
    SoFLYFireman Posts: 170 Member
    Definitely! Its normal to feel that way, but we've got to anyways, you're only cheating yourself by not holding yourself accountable no matter how bad it is. Plus when you see it on there, if youre embarrased about it then you have a better chance of not eating it rather than eating it anyways and hiding it. You can hide it on your diary but not on your body.
  • emilex
    emilex Posts: 95 Member
    Oh my goodness, I think stuff like this all the time! But then I have this internal conversation with myself where I remind myself that the only person I am cheating is myself. I mean really, when I don't write down that popcorn or candy or whatever it is....other people maybe not know I ate but I know I ate it, my body knows I ate it. My goals (or lack of meeting them) will reflect that I ate it! LOL! So yes, I feel like this all the time. I just talk myself out of doing it because I have realized that it doesn't actually benefit me at all.
    Good luck!
  • starboardzor
    starboardzor Posts: 312
    I found I'm more honest in my diary when I know nobody can read it... I know it's really dumb and it's good to keep an open diary so you can get constructive criticism, but I found I wasn't being honest . I closed my diary and now I really put everything down even if I do over or eat way too much sugar. It's good just to build statistics so I can still look at it overall and get a more accurate snapshot. Maybe you could try making it private for a bit.
  • imeldac
    imeldac Posts: 1
    I think that is the point of keeping a diary. You become quite self conscious about your food choices, so after a while you would rather not eat the food rather than have to record it in the diary. It is a way of re educating your dietary habits. Just don't be too hard on yourself if you do eat something wicked and not record it , the balance will start swinging the other way soon. I find that I genuinely don't recall eating some foods, then find the evidence later and realise I have been eating out of sheer boredom and not even given the food any attention. Be alert!! It takes a long time for the reeducation to become second nature.
  • emilex
    emilex Posts: 95 Member
    I love beer. I don't enter all beer. Enough said! :D

    LMAO! I am always asking my husband if he entered that beer he is drinking. I think he lies! :)
  • RyonsLions2
    RyonsLions2 Posts: 350 Member
    You know what?? I just was reading the posts here and there was one person who said something about seeing all those red numbers... to kind of wake you up... well, I saw something even worse!!! I went ahead and entered a weight GAIN and saw my lbs lost number go DOWN 2 lbs. You talk about a wake up!! It's not worth it. Stay true to yourself, if you want a sweet or something fattening, pre plan your day and include those items in! Do some extra exercising to work it off... you can log things in silly ways to make them fit... like .67 of an orange... or .90 of a bagel with .38 of a TBSP of cream cheese... just examples.. but it can help you be able to enjoy those flavors without binging or then starving yourself.
  • LuluGirl140
    LuluGirl140 Posts: 364 Member
    I have to confess as well, I don't enter ALL of my food. But for me there's a different reason. When I first joined, I became obsessed with calories. I logged everything, good or bad. Problem was, as long as my number was under goal, I was happy. So what if my meals were all from McDonald's? It's all mental for me. Now I'm making smarter choices and not obsessing over everything I enter. Bottom line--you have to be honest with yourself. I didn't realize what I was doing until I looked back through my journal. Enter it. Acknowledge it. Use it as a lesson to help you make healthier choices. And ALWAYS keep your eye on the prize!
  • Mad_Dog_Muscle
    Mad_Dog_Muscle Posts: 1,251 Member
    I love beer. I don't enter all beer. Enough said! :D
    Can I get an Amen!!!
  • nursemom27
    nursemom27 Posts: 36 Member
    I started off reluctant to put in my late night snacks. But then guilt got the best of me. Now I usually don't have late night snacks. I find myself now over estimating my portion sizes when it's not convenient to measure- and that way I know I'll stay on track. That, and posting thoughout the day is helpful. If I see I'm getting near calorie goal at mid-day, I try to add in more exercise too. But I agree- this is an emotional ride we're on!
  • aecryan
    aecryan Posts: 89
    Thank you so much for all the replies! It's comforting to know I am not the only one who struggles with logging. Thus far I have logged all my food so now I just need to work on the feelings part of the equation. So I ammgoing to take your advice and look at red as positive accountability instead of negative shame. Thanks again for all of the insightful replies!
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