frustrated.

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bunnysone
bunnysone Posts: 486 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I know I shouldnt get wrapped up with my MFP friends issues and concerns, but I am sure I am echoing the frustrations of many on here.

I hate to see blog posts, messages and posts on the general feed line for friends wanting help, feeling desperate, not knowing what to do and considering giving up.

The first thing I want to do is encourage them and try and give practical assistance. Sometimes I wish I could phone them to talk it through.

I have a friend who needs help in this way and it is obvious to me what that person should do, but of course what i am suggesting is considered too hard (i think - so far they havent told me what they think) so they are now continuing to ask for help and complaining that they want to give up.

I know they dont actually KNOW me and therefore why should they trust me, but why should they trust ANYBODY on here if that is their excuse?

Just wanted to vent - and I can guarantee I am echoing others in their thoughts.

Think about it if you think you are one of these people. Lots of people here genuinely want to help you, take time to look at your diary and exercise, ask questions about what you are doing and try and help you. It takes time, effort and brainstorming ideas, sometimes to the detriment of other things they are doing in their life and being there for other MFP friends.

If you really want help I'm always happy to do my best for you, if it seems too hard come back and talk to me about it - there might be a way to make it less daunting!!!

Replies

  • CassieLEO
    CassieLEO Posts: 757 Member
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    Right on sista!!! Im going through the same thing right now. I am getting pretty fed up with seeing this one persons posts and shes always asking stuff even though she knows the answers. Its almost for attention. I dunno....
  • misskimlilac
    misskimlilac Posts: 306 Member
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    I am always thankful for your encouragement and your supportive words. Keep it up!!!:wink:
  • punkrawkcutie
    punkrawkcutie Posts: 439 Member
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    ACK Girly, i hope this isn't me you're talking about!!! I really appriciate ALL of your support and motivation!!! you're amazing, and EVERYONE on mfp should know that!!!
    xoxo - S
  • jaelwoman
    jaelwoman Posts: 81
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    Don't ya wish you could just kick them in the behind sometimes too??? I mean everyone needs encouragement but come one....you didn't get fat overnight, it won't come off overnight either!
  • monkeybelle83
    monkeybelle83 Posts: 141 Member
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    There are a lot of people who expect someone else to give them the answers, even though they know them. Sometimes it's so that they aren't giving themselves the tough love known as truth. I see it on my facebook page all the time, and it drives me crazy. I understand not wanting to beat yourself up and all, but part of growing as a person is taking responsibility for ALL your choices. If I choose to eat a huge cheesecake that is 2000 calories in one sitting, than it's my butt that is gonna get bigger. I don't need someone else to tell me that!
  • charityateet
    charityateet Posts: 576 Member
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    Just so you know, Bunny - you keep me going girl!!!
  • Romira
    Romira Posts: 41 Member
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    Bunny You Are Amazing. I Really Appreciate All The Support And Advise You Offer To Me. :) You Are Such An Inspiration. Keep On Doing What You Do. I LIke It !!!!!!
  • musicgirl88
    musicgirl88 Posts: 504 Member
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    Perhaps she is just very confused on certain things. I notice on your profile you have a personal trainer, which means having someone telling you what you should be doing. If she's doing it all on her own, I'm sure she is just trying her hardest to figure out what she can do in her specific situation. I have many people telling me not to eat so many processed foods, but I am currently living at home with my parents, and we are not made of money. I cant just buy my own dinners for the week, I have to eat whatever they happen to buy. Sometimes it's healthy, and usually it's fresh foods, especially when we have chicken and pork chops and such. People learn in different ways. If they are asking the same question more than once, chances are they didn't quite understand the explanation. Or maybe what was suggested isn't something that is possible to be done in their situation. If they are searching for more than one suggestion, they wil most likely ask the same question many times. I am sure they appreciate your help, just like I appreciate all of the help and support that i've gotten just today because I was having a particularly bad day. Don't take things to heart if they don't seem to be taking your advice. Just remember that not everyone's life is the same, and sometimes certain things are harder to change than others!
  • bunnysone
    bunnysone Posts: 486 Member
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    I realise there are heaps and heaps of reasons why people find change difficult. I was a binge eater and suffered depression.
    I had no idea that i was overweight and unfit.
    And we used to spend hundreds of dollars a week buying processed crap, deep fried stuff, chocolate, ice cream, cookies etc.

    I understand that in a lot of cases if appears cheaper to buy processed food over fresh, but in my personal experience I now buy fresh, predominately organic food and I spend so much less than we used to when we bought everything premade and prepackaged.

    Even so, I make sacrifices in other areas in order to eat well. Longterm I will save money by looking after my health by eating well and being active. I could not handle having a generally preventable disease due to not looking after myself, ie diabetes, heart disease etc.

    Change is hard. You need to really want it to do it. But it is generally a lack of knowledge that makes it harder for people to change, a lack of understanding of what to do.

    I empathise with those who dont think they can afford a healthy lifestyle. I dont live in the US so I have no idea what it is like over there firsthand, but that is not an excuse I can use as I have proven that it can be done on a budget.
  • time2runnn
    time2runnn Posts: 252 Member
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    You have such a huge heart! I know I am one of many MFP friends here who truly appreciate your support!:smile:
  • delilah514
    delilah514 Posts: 126 Member
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    I empathise with those who dont think they can afford a healthy lifestyle. I dont live in the US so I have no idea what it is like over there firsthand, but that is not an excuse I can use as I have proven that it can be done on a budget.

    I just thought I would chime in on this one. Since I lived in the US up until 2 years ago when I moved to Australia. Food costs 2-3x more here in Australia then it does in the US (but we get paid 2-3x more then people in the US so it makes sense). That goes for everything. Healthy & processed. It is certainly doable in the US to eat healthy on a budget. I have done it before. Fruits & veggies & meat are cheap. But so is the dollar menu at McDonalds which can be very tempting for some people who are just to lazy to prepare a meal at home.


    Ok back to the subject. I know what you mean. I get the same way sometimes. I will be going off about it to my boyfriend & he is like just log off their honey it's getting you to worked up. Sometime I am just like duh when I read things or other time I am like just eat something, 600 cals a day is not enough no wonder why you are having trouble losing it. Or the people who never eat veggies its like where are they getting any nutrition in. The one thing I can say is that I have learned a lot about my own eating habits from seeing others on here & it has made me realize. I am so not as bad as I thought I was.
  • trio25
    trio25 Posts: 34 Member
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    People have to be in the right place to accept the advice as well. It's hard we live in a world where we are used to getting what we want now, not having to wait. I worked at a gym years ago and I remember a guy asking the fitness instructor what he had to do to look like him....Simon (FI) started explaining diet, cardio and weights and the guy said well I have an hour a week to exercise and I'm not changing my diet.

    I like this place as it supports me when I am not doing the right thing dietwise, I have some food issues and need the support to get on the wagon as such, but also encourages me to be healthy in weight loss. Some people just want the quick fix and this isn't the right place.
  • bunnysone
    bunnysone Posts: 486 Member
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    thanks guys. i know that this was more like a vent but i had to get it out somewhere, and maybe in the process i made a couple of readers think.

    Nobody can solve everybodys problems - and no problems are the same, but appreciating the desire to help is sometimes all it takes to keep trying. xx

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