Having a hard time.

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faythe
faythe Posts: 245
in Motivation and Support
I just can't seem to care anymore. I'm constantly busy and it seems like I'm constantly eating, too - I feel so clogged and fat and gross. Isn't this why I wanted to lose weight in the first place? Now here I am, several months down the road and doing the same thing I've always done - giving up. What's wrong with me?

And this makes me wonder if I was ever really "trying". I haven't done any real exercise in months, although I'm on my feet and moving around for 8 hours at a time, 5 days a week. That would be a great help with weight loss if I would actually, like, stop eating my weight in junk food and fast food every day. I spend my whole day cooking, I guess that means I don't want to do it when I get home. But that's still not a very good excuse, is it?

Today, by what I call the "unofficial scale" (I like to use WiiFit for my "official" weigh-ins), I weigh almost what I did when I started MFP. 9 pounds in one week?! That's absurd! But to be very, very, honest, and I think it's time that I was more honest with myself, I can believe it.

*sighs* I think I just needed to vent a bit. I'm not necessarily looking for someone to try to lift me up again, I just wanted to share.

I think I'm hitting my dieting rock bottom. Now I'm ready to climb up out of the hole I dug for myself.

If you made it this far, thank you for reading.

Replies

  • faythe
    faythe Posts: 245
    Options
    I just can't seem to care anymore. I'm constantly busy and it seems like I'm constantly eating, too - I feel so clogged and fat and gross. Isn't this why I wanted to lose weight in the first place? Now here I am, several months down the road and doing the same thing I've always done - giving up. What's wrong with me?

    And this makes me wonder if I was ever really "trying". I haven't done any real exercise in months, although I'm on my feet and moving around for 8 hours at a time, 5 days a week. That would be a great help with weight loss if I would actually, like, stop eating my weight in junk food and fast food every day. I spend my whole day cooking, I guess that means I don't want to do it when I get home. But that's still not a very good excuse, is it?

    Today, by what I call the "unofficial scale" (I like to use WiiFit for my "official" weigh-ins), I weigh almost what I did when I started MFP. 9 pounds in one week?! That's absurd! But to be very, very, honest, and I think it's time that I was more honest with myself, I can believe it.

    *sighs* I think I just needed to vent a bit. I'm not necessarily looking for someone to try to lift me up again, I just wanted to share.

    I think I'm hitting my dieting rock bottom. Now I'm ready to climb up out of the hole I dug for myself.

    If you made it this far, thank you for reading.
  • Nonibug
    Nonibug Posts: 1,214 Member
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    Faythe-pick yourself up, dust yourself off and jump back on! You can do it hun!:heart: We have nothing but time....right?:flowerforyou:

    Sending positive thoughts your way....

    ~Roni
  • neha_duvvuri
    neha_duvvuri Posts: 186 Member
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    Don't worry. It happens. Don't take it as dieting. Take it as lifestyle change. I was under professional weight loss institute.. followed their diet....went down to size 4. But as soon as I ate like I did earlier, I became what I was earlier.
    So, don't think this to be temporary. Make healthy changes for lifetime, moreover, a healthy life.
    If you stop, you will be dragged back. Why do you want to put that effort again. Don't let your effort go in vain. Stick to your plan. It is an awesome feeling of feeling lighter, and sizes dropping off. Think of how active you will be.
    I don't feel the craving for Mc Donalds anymore. Even, if I go there, I don't chomp n chomp. I go for medium meal with ice tea. Sometimes, I skip the fries, if am not that hungry. It'll come slowly, but it will. Don't loose hope. Work on it. Never let yourself fall back. MFP family is aweosme in support. Talk to the family, even if you crave an unhealthy food item.
    Hope it wasn't too much for your plate. :tongue:
    Good Luck! and Hang on sister!


    Writing to you(although u didn't ask for it), has lifted me in a way. i hope you dont mind the blah blah.
  • Fitness_Chick
    Fitness_Chick Posts: 6,648 Member
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    :flowerforyou:
  • DjBliss05
    DjBliss05 Posts: 682
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    That is my old MO, too. I lose a little 5-10... and then I begin the sabotage! Usually starts when I can start seeing results.

    The two things I have learned this time around is that you have to be doing this from a good place. Meaning, if you have have spent years hating your body and yourself, it helps to start finding ways to love yourself. Keep telling yourself that you deserve this and remind yourself why that is true! It is so easy to sabotage your work when you aren't happy to begin with.

    Second, this just isn't going to be easy. I had to learn the first thing before I could even get to the second thing. You won't do it perfectly every day. You won't lose steadily. You could even hit a dreaded platuea. Yuck! Losing weight is messy and challenging! But if you get yourself back into exercising and count your calories, you CAN do this.

    No one here will try to lift you up, because we can't. You have to be the one. If you need to, take a break from MFP, regroup, and come back when you are ready to start making real changes in your life. You do deserve this! :flowerforyou:
  • faythe
    faythe Posts: 245
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    Thanks, y'all! Owning up to my bad behaviors has already made such a big difference - something major that was missing from my life was yoga, I was so balanced and happy when I was doing that regularly. I just finished a 50-minute yoga routine and I'm feeling pretty amazing now. :happy:

    I don't plan on leaving MFP, I don't plan on allowing myself to wallow in misery and despair. I'm just going to be better.

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