How do you cope when...

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LeonaB17
LeonaB17 Posts: 304
in Motivation and Support
Ok I have mulled over and over whether to post this or not but sometimes - ok often - I feel very discouraged when I see infomercials, commercials, advertisements, or even posts on here where someone is complaining about how awful it is to be sooo big - and they're like a size 10 or only slightly overweight. I realize everybody's body is different, and we all have different goals and bla bla bla - but it still hurts when someone says how disgusting it is to weigh this weight or that weight - and that disgusting weight is like a gazillion pounds less than what I weigh. So I'm like - if ten pounds overweight is disgusting - geez what am I? Anyway I try to fight these feelings and be proud of what I have accomplished but they still nag at me and can get me down sometimes. So - I just wanted to see how other people cope with this stuff.

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  • JMJohnson1005
    JMJohnson1005 Posts: 222 Member
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    I feel the same way sometimes (not often like you). I think well if you think you are big and gross then what the hell am I?
  • groucherella
    groucherella Posts: 207
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    Try not to take someone elses journey personal. If they are disgusted in theirself, that is not a reflection of you, it's a reflection of them in their eyes.
  • carol2710
    carol2710 Posts: 13
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    Hi looking at what you have achieved and how good you look in your photo i dont think you should be too concerned about others. I hope some of your motivation rubs of on me : )
  • tdjones00
    tdjones00 Posts: 68
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    I can relate to all that you are saying. It is my own personal belief that none if any of these people have experienced truly being overweight or even obese. This mountain that we are all climbing is very steep. You have already lost a great amount of weight and should be proud of that. If those people have been overweight then it is possible that they have not lost weight the healthy weight. My advice would be to think about how you feel now compared to before the weight loss and realize what you can do or wear now that you couldn't then. Stay strong. You are learning and growing everyday! :happy:
  • GuptaRicha
    GuptaRicha Posts: 2
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    hey dont let it drag you down!! you have done an amazing job so far!!! 84 lbs forever gone....thats an awesome awesome accomplishment friend!!! so be proud of what you are and how far u have come!!!!
    :smile:
  • Angierae75
    Angierae75 Posts: 417 Member
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    I try to put it into perspective. Back when I had really bad acne I used to watch commercials where someone would be complaining about one zit, and go "Wow, I'd kill to have ONE zit."

    Now that I'm older and have better skin, having that one zit really drives me crazy!

    Just like being 80 lbs overweight makes me look at people and think "Man, if only I were only 20 pounds overweight." But I bet if I got down there, that 20 pounds would drive me nuts.

    Everyone's situation is their own. You can only compare yourself to yourself, and how YOU feel. Someone who weighs 500 lbs would probably be happy to be in your shoes, too.

    Hang in there!
  • JulieBoBoo
    JulieBoBoo Posts: 642
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    Actually I feel sorry for them because they hate themselves so much. Even at my heaviest I felt loved and beautiful. I had nice clothes, wore pretty jewelry and rocked the red lipstick. I don't hate my before pictures and I never hid from the camera so I have a lot of them to choose from (some even in bathing suits!).

    I like how I look now because it's easier to move and I don't feel uncomfortable all the time. Also there is a bigger selection of clothes that fit me and they're easier to find. But that doesn't mean that I didn't look good before. It just means that I'm healthier now -- not prettier.
  • SandyLee1961
    SandyLee1961 Posts: 133 Member
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    I know what you mean!!! A friend of mine (good friend) who is this tiny scrap of a thing was stating she wanted to join me in my fitness journey. I asked her, are you nuts, you don't need to lose weight! well, she doesn't, just wants to get more fit. Still, blew me away, cause she LOOKS fit but she really isn't!

    I try to ignore the commercials, ads and whathaveyou where they have fake people (obvious fake) - going on about how "oh my, I lost 10 lbs doing this..." You have come a VERY long way and should be very, very, very proud of yourself. And don't listen to the yahoo's who way 60 lbs soaking weight going on about how they NEED to lose more weight...a lot of that is just wanting attention!
  • sauza
    sauza Posts: 159 Member
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    I hope this makes you laugh....I now rejoice - rejoice! over getting down to a weight I once thought I would rather be dead than weigh. Life is all about perspective isn't it? :)
  • Amy62575
    Amy62575 Posts: 422 Member
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    "We are our own worst critics"


    That statement alone sums up my response - when I see my friends who are bigger than me, I don't think they look disgusting. When I see people on the street or in the mall, or anywhere for that matter, I don't think they are too big. But when I stand naked in the mirror, now THAT disgusts me. People say, oh you don't need to lose weight or whatever, but the reality is that we have to find a place that is comfortable within our own skin, whatever that may be. And often we hold ourselves to different standards than we hold others. We are usually too hard on ourselves.
  • leamgood
    leamgood Posts: 32 Member
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    The next time you see one of those commercials, pop back on here and take a look at your ticker cause just seeing that you have lost that much is inspirational to me. I know it sucks to listen to people complain about their weight when they are smaller than you and really nothing anyone says is going to change that but just be proud that you have lost the weight you have. I don't care if you weighed 3000 or 300 lbs starting off loosing 84lbs is definitely cause for celebration and being strong enough to do that makes you a better person overall.
  • melaniecheeks
    melaniecheeks Posts: 6,349 Member
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    Everyone has their own body issues. How you see yourself (and how they see themselves) is what's important. Don't feel jealous or outraged by someone else's poor body image - give support for what they're dealing with. If you can. But don't let it become a toxic emotion for you.
  • banishthebelly
    banishthebelly Posts: 10 Member
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    I hear you... I'm one of those that you can't stand.... I look at what you've accomplished and I think you're amazing! that's not just lip service, that's huge kudos to you and you shouldn't listen to (or read) others whining on about their own measly little goals.... you gotta think about you and only you and be thrilled with what you've done for yourself!!
    I know what you're saying - everyone's got their own baggage in their head and they're not thinking of others, just in terms of how things affect themselves. you see someone half your weight and think they're your goal weight; they see someone else down the road, and think the same thing of them.... kind of a "grass is always greener" sort of mentality.... the thing that's disgusting to everyone is the way they feel - how much better do you feel at your current weight vs. your previous weight? that's the issue.... to hell with others...! if you must compare, go by percentages. you're winning!! (NOT in the charlie shean sense...) :laugh:
  • elifefull
    elifefull Posts: 46
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    Everyone walks in their own shoes and the 84lbs you lost so far is a big accomplishment..........you inspire me to do better.
  • mizzdivat
    mizzdivat Posts: 67 Member
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    It's irritating for me too, but I just say, "whatever" and keep it pushin. Don't be distracted by the journey of others. Stay focused and keep moving forward girl. Now, let's get it!
  • LeonaB17
    LeonaB17 Posts: 304
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    Thanks everybody - you guys are the best!
  • trimformecmb
    trimformecmb Posts: 257 Member
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    Actually I feel sorry for them because they hate themselves so much. Even at my heaviest I felt loved and beautiful. I had nice clothes, wore pretty jewelry and rocked the red lipstick. I don't hate my before pictures and I never hid from the camera so I have a lot of them to choose from (some even in bathing suits!).

    I like how I look now because it's easier to move and I don't feel uncomfortable all the time. Also there is a bigger selection of clothes that fit me and they're easier to find. But that doesn't mean that I didn't look good before. It just means that I'm healthier now -- not prettier.


    YOU ARE SOOOO SMART!!!!!!
    I really love your attitiude and philospohy!!!
  • dad106
    dad106 Posts: 4,868 Member
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    I just look at it like I'm doing this to improve myself.. to make myself feel better and to make a healthier me in the long run.

    Those girls who say that are prob. more concerned with vanity and trying to make themselves feel better by making others feel awful. Until they realize that real self-esteem comes from the inside and loving who you are at this very moment, I don't think that you have a thing to worry about.
  • fitterpam
    fitterpam Posts: 3,086 Member
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    Yeah - I have come to realize that weight is a little like housework. Some people are just more able to handle a little more mess (weight, in this analogy) than others. It has to do with your perception of yourself. I was, at my highest, about 150lbs overweight (to get to a mid point in my healthy BMI) and I was just starting to think I had to do something about my weight - it was REALLY impacting my life. I also have come to the point where I realize that someone who is 10lbs overweight probably feels a whole lot worse (healthwise) than someone who has just lost 10lbs and is getting healthy. You can be a "fat" skinny person or a "skinny" fat person. Right now, I'm the second....I eat well and my body responds better than some I know who are at their ideal or even a little bit more......

    It's not a competition, it's about how you feel :)

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