People trying to feed you crap!

taiyola
taiyola Posts: 964 Member
edited September 26 in Health and Weight Loss
Getting more and more annoyed. I see someone regularly, and every time I see her, she's like 'do you want some cake? pasta? sweets? ice cream?' etc etc. Even when I say no, she's like 'why? why not? go on, just have one. one wont harm!'. Some days I lose count of how many things I am offered.

Basically, she doesn't listen and doesn't take 'no' as an answer. She will pester you. Probably to make herself feel better about her failed diet. She's like an aunt figure to me, so I try not to be rude and just keep saying 'no. no. no. no. no. i'm on a diet. i'm on a diet. why are you trying to feed me crap? it'll make me fat and unhappy'. Soo frustrating! I am seeing her tomorrow, and I know this will happen. If I choose to have a sweet, that's different to being harassed.

Is anyone else in the same boat? How do you cope? Even if I said to her how I feel (I do most times), I know she'll nod and agree... and half an hour later offer me again!

Replies

  • lauren_201
    lauren_201 Posts: 1
    I would have a "sit-down" with her. Explain to her that you are trying to change your life style and while you appreciate her offering you all this food that it really needs to stop. Tell her how you feel in a nice way so that you don't hurt her feelings. Make sure she understands that she absolutely needs to stop and if she does it again remind her of your conversation.
  • skinnyjeanzbound
    skinnyjeanzbound Posts: 3,932 Member
    Have you tried bringing something really healthy to your visits and offering them to her? Maybe she's just one of those people who thinks eating together = socializing.
  • twimom03
    twimom03 Posts: 19
    I don't need an aunt figure to do that to me,,,It sounds like what I do to myself..."go ahead...eat just one...! Perhaps instead of replying "no" to each offer, explain that you would love her support with your healthy lifestyle change and would not like to be offered anything anymore. Tell her, if you would like something, you will ask her but otherwise you are all set. Good luck!
  • DJmom44
    DJmom44 Posts: 91
    I would have a "sit-down" with her. Explain to her that you are trying to change your life style and while you appreciate her offering you all this food that it really needs to stop. Tell her how you feel in a nice way so that you don't hurt her feelings. Make sure she understands that she absolutely needs to stop and if she does it again remind her of your conversation.
    I agree. Maybe you could also make a point by offering her something healthy, like a piece of fruit. :laugh:
  • seemichellerun
    seemichellerun Posts: 219
    Have you tried bringing something really healthy to your visits and offering them to her? Maybe she's just one of those people who thinks eating together = socializing.

    I find that this is usually the case. Not everyone is malicious and "out to ruin your goals." Some people see eating as a social activity. I know my mother-in-law is like this. When she offers me food, I say something like "No thanks, but I would love a cup of tea instead." It's enough for her to feel like she's being a good host and she stops pestering me about food.
  • Azuleelan
    Azuleelan Posts: 218
    I would ignore her. Literally, like she said NOTHING to me. No explanations, no "no", nothing. Look at her and don't say a word. I don't know why, but it makes people shut up really fast, like they can't think anything other than something very serious is going on. :smile:
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    "No thanks. I'm stuffed! I just ate."
  • taiyola
    taiyola Posts: 964 Member
    She's actually like this with every thing.

    'Don't give my dog chocolate and sugary/salty food - it's bad for him' literally 5 seconds later, she gives him some of her junk food. Makes me so mad just thinking about it! 'aw, he's okay, look, he likes it!'. I'm never giving her my children to look after lol.

    It's not just with food, but anything. It's like talking to a brick wall, and I'm not even exaggerating. I have told her about my eating disorders, that I'm trying to lose weight and today her reply was 'yeah but you buy pizza when you go shopping'. I usually buy a 2 pack of small pizzas that are about 300 cals each.

    I have told her time and time and time and time and time again, and NOTHING gets through to her. That goes for anything. She's a bit of a control freak, and instead of saying 'do you want to do this?' etc, it's 'do this'. Impossible.

    Think I might just try and do what the last poster said and just sit quiet. If she asks more than twice, I'll say 'I told you I'm trying to avoid that crap' and then keep quiet again. She probably still wont get the message, but it might make me less pissed off!!
  • taiyola
    taiyola Posts: 964 Member
    I don't need an aunt figure to do that to me,,,It sounds like what I do to myself..."go ahead...eat just one...! Perhaps instead of replying "no" to each offer, explain that you would love her support with your healthy lifestyle change and would not like to be offered anything anymore. Tell her, if you would like something, you will ask her but otherwise you are all set. Good luck!

    Lol - same! I can sabotage myself well enough, I don't need someone else's help!
  • gentlebreeze2
    gentlebreeze2 Posts: 450 Member
    I know the feeling. I love my mom with all my heart. But she always puts way to much food out when I visit, and if I don't taste everything she gets her feelings hurt. She is from the old school, where she gets her value from fixing food for everyone. She puts salt in everything... its unbelieveable. And up to a few months ago, every time you went to her house, she'd fix a goodie bag for you to take home, several candy bars, chips, beef jerkey, cookies, etc. She's going to be 89 in a few months and she's very sensitive. If I dont feel like eating something and she insists, I say I'll just take it with me for later. Sometimes I have it later, other times I give it away. It's really hard to not hurt her feelings.
  • MGleason2010
    MGleason2010 Posts: 105 Member
    Sounds like my MIL! Like previous posts, I would either ask for some else, like coffee, tea ect, because she really may just be trying to be a good hostess.

    Or Just simply say "No, Thank you". I find that when I explain i'm trying to diet or loose weight, she goes into this huge thing about how I look great, or I don't need to loose weight, or it looks like I already have. I use the "No, Thanks I just ate" excuse a lot. And then I also try to move out of the kitchen.
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