My Husband is Cruel

"Why?" do you ask? Well, let me explain.

We have been married nearly 28 yrs. When we first married, he was a very slender guy in the USN. His job was extremely physical, so he never had a weight problem & could put down some serious calories with no problems.

After 20 yrs in the service, he retired & then landed a really great job with good pay & benefits. Suddenly, he went from working on jets on an aircraft carrier to a desk job. That's when he started to put on weight. A little here, and little bit there. The doctor warned him that he needed to be careful & watch not only his calories, but the quality of food too. Unfortunately, my hubby either did not understand the warnings or maybe, he did not care. Or maybe, he thought that serious health problems only happen to "other people."

Sure enough, after a few years, he developed high blood pressure. Then, his cholesterol levels went up. He still didn't change his eating/exercise habits. He ignored the warning signs. Sure enough, in 2005 he was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes.

Well, of course, he straightened up his act, right? Wrong. Oh, he did great for about 2 weeks, but went right back to his horrible habits. The doctor warned him. The family & I pleaded with him. I went to his diabetic nutrition classes with him. We did everything we could to support and help him, but he just was so stubborn. I can't tell you how many times he's declined my offer to take a walk in the neighborhood. Or the number of salads, veggies and healthy food he passes up. There have many suppers he'll turn with a "I'm not hungry," then later, I'd find him eating fritos with a regular coke. A diabetic drinking coke, sometimes 2 at a time! :noway:

I just brought my husband home from the hospital today. It was the 3rd such trip in 2 months. This time the doctors had to put in a stent in a coronary artery. Years of a poor diet with excessive weight & no exercise no doubt played a part in this. Coronary artery disease.

I am praying he changes before he kills himself. He eats too much, does not check his sugar levels like he is supposed to, he stays up too late at night, and only recently began a half-hearted attempt at exercise. It is not unusual to hear the reminder alarm beep on his monitor because he doesn't take it to work with him. Likewise he'll "forget" his workout clothes when he says he's going to the gym.

So why do I think he's cruel? Because though it is obviously hard on him, it has also taken quite the emotional toll on me, his son, and our family & friends. His co-workers cannot rely on him to be at work because he is ill so frequently (he gets colds & similar infections quite frequently too). Every time he is hospitalized, I am doing double time at home taking care of everything, and traveling up to 2 hrs making the trips back & forth to the hospital. And of course, I am worried sick not knowing how bad it's going to be "this time", you know? Fear, dread, worry. Anger, frustration, sadness.I feel all of these emotions at the same time. And sometimes, I feel guilty for being so angry with him!

My MFP pals, keep doing what you do. Eat well, exercise, be healthy. It's a gift you give yourself, but believe me, I know it is also a gift you give your loved ones.