I feel like I look SO much bigger than other women my age, h
jhutton_ch
Posts: 12
Age: 22
Height: 5’8.5”
HW: 160 lbs
SW: 140 lbs
CW: 133 lbs
GW: 125 lbs
I would like to preface this post by saying I do not have an eating disorder. My sister was anorexic when she was a teenager and has been struggling with an eating disorder since. Ever since I began losing weight, many friends and family members have said “You’re not anorexic, are you?”, instead of celebrating my success with me. Let me just say, it’s quite annoying. I understand they are just concerned, but when I have been working my butt of at the gym and eating well, the last thing I want to hear is that I have developed an eating disorder. I have a healthy BMI and plan on keeping it that way.
Now that that’s out of the way... I can’t help but feel discouraged when I look at pictures of other women who have a similar build and weight and feel I look nothing like them. I understand that everyone’s body is different, but when someone my height looks ten times better than me when they are 20 lbs heavier, I must be doing something wrong. My boyfriend says I am crazy and that I look great, but he is too sweet and has said that since I met him two years ago and was a lot heavier. When we go out in public, he tries to find women who have a similar shape as I do so I can see what they look like. I always think they look way better than I do. Thoughts like “No way my thighs are that small!” and “Like I could fit into those clothes!” run through my head.
So, I ask everyone in the myfitnesspal community to please tell me how heavy I look in pictures, and what areas of my body could use some toning. I know this all must sound incredibly self-absorbed, and for that I truly apologize. I just want to be proud of my body and the hard work it took to get there, but I can’t seem to get over my negative self-image. At the same time, however, please don’t say positive things just to make me feel better. I want the truth, and I thank you so much in advance if you give it to me!
Height: 5’8.5”
HW: 160 lbs
SW: 140 lbs
CW: 133 lbs
GW: 125 lbs
I would like to preface this post by saying I do not have an eating disorder. My sister was anorexic when she was a teenager and has been struggling with an eating disorder since. Ever since I began losing weight, many friends and family members have said “You’re not anorexic, are you?”, instead of celebrating my success with me. Let me just say, it’s quite annoying. I understand they are just concerned, but when I have been working my butt of at the gym and eating well, the last thing I want to hear is that I have developed an eating disorder. I have a healthy BMI and plan on keeping it that way.
Now that that’s out of the way... I can’t help but feel discouraged when I look at pictures of other women who have a similar build and weight and feel I look nothing like them. I understand that everyone’s body is different, but when someone my height looks ten times better than me when they are 20 lbs heavier, I must be doing something wrong. My boyfriend says I am crazy and that I look great, but he is too sweet and has said that since I met him two years ago and was a lot heavier. When we go out in public, he tries to find women who have a similar shape as I do so I can see what they look like. I always think they look way better than I do. Thoughts like “No way my thighs are that small!” and “Like I could fit into those clothes!” run through my head.
So, I ask everyone in the myfitnesspal community to please tell me how heavy I look in pictures, and what areas of my body could use some toning. I know this all must sound incredibly self-absorbed, and for that I truly apologize. I just want to be proud of my body and the hard work it took to get there, but I can’t seem to get over my negative self-image. At the same time, however, please don’t say positive things just to make me feel better. I want the truth, and I thank you so much in advance if you give it to me!
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Replies
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I think you look great!! If you want muscle tone...do weight training....
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Thanks for sharing!! The mind can be a wondrous or an evil thing. I too am 5'8" and would LOVE to look as amazing as you do. My goal is to be 160 pounds... and I fear I still won't look as good as you even at that. Then again, I have knobby knees. LOL.
But seriously. You have an amazing figure and you look so toned!! In a word - you are beautiful!
Now all of that being TRUTHFULLY said... If you want more toning, I too suggest strength training. A friend of mine recently had gotten to her goal weight, then started the ChaLEAN Extreme program (which I am currently on Round #2 completing) and she lost an addition 10 pounds - and her muscles look amazing (not too buff... just gorgeous). The key with that program was lifting heavy to the point of failure to push your muscles....0 -
Oh my word, you are almost 5-9, you weigh 133 pounds and you have CURVES in all the right places! I think you are fantabulously lucky, and probably other women are looking at you and envying you. Maybe the curves are throwing you; you probably do have to wear different styles than someone who is built like a boy. But this is not a bad thing! Think of the styles they could never pull off that you can really wear!
If I were you, I might invest in a day with a really good clothing person who can show you what styles will flatter your curves. That might make a real difference for you.
Best wishes to you!0 -
Girl, this post breaks my heart. I am soooo jealous of your waist line, and you're very slim. It breaks my heart that you don't see that. I'm 5'4", and my CW is 143lbs, my goal is 135 lbs. So give yourself a break!
Confidence is sexy, strut it up lady!!0 -
You look amazing girl! That voice in your head is wrong! Listen to your man, he sounds like a good one! 0
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Girl, I am 5'7" and I would KILL for your body!! Look at your posture and amazing curves, and the fact that your thighs don't touch when you stand!! I can not wait to get to that point. I beleive one of the things that you are seeing in others that you aren't seeing in yourself is confidence. The reason you believe those girls look better is because they are more confident in how they look. You will get there!! You just need to stop comparing yourself to the others and you're already half way there by knowing that everone's body has a different build. I have a bad habit of comparing myself with others, and I think that is natural, but don't let it affect your health and confidence. You do look AMAZING. Your body is toned and curved in all the right places. All you need to do is some self-reflecting and ask yourself why you aren't as confident as all those other girls. I'm sure you will see how beautiful you look!0
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I had a figure like that when i was your age and i was 5 inches shorter than you , you must be a size 8 or 10 ........... I would say you have a gorgeous figure that any one of us would be proud of, i don't think you need to lose any weight as you don't look heavy or over weight, don't compare yourself to other women , just be happy with the way you are, BTW i'm trying to get down to that goal weight myself , stuck at 133 lbs , but seeing as you've managed to get there and you look amazing you've inspired me to lose that last 7lbs0
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You look great, and congrats on your almost 30-pound weight loss! You should be VERY proud of yourself! (I'm not just saying that to be nice. You've worked hard and you're beautiful!)
What areas do you already do strength training in? IMO, everyone should strength train their entire bodies, not just specific areas.0 -
You look terrific !!! Stop worrying and comparing yourself to others your age! If it helps, my 25 year old son thinks you're HOT!0
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You are so young and you have a wonderful shape. Enjoy your youthful, toned skin and your success in losing weight. As you get older, you will realize that comparing yourself to anyone but you is not only unproductive, it's sabotage. It never gets better than what you have right now! Relax. Be proud of yourself. Confidence is much more appealing.0
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Honey, if you can't get through the negative view of yourself maybe you have a body dysmorphia issue mentally. you might consider seeing a psycologist who specializes in that kind of thing. I'm 5'9" and 1/2" and my lowest number is 155, might stop at 160!!! I couldn't imagine weighing only 133. I think that if you lose any more you will lose the great curves you do have going on. Believe your significant other!!! I know that has helped me with my self image, seeing me through the eyes of someone who loves me.0
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It seems like your self image, rather than your body, needs some work. Unfortunately, no matter how perfect anyone else thinks you look, it probably won't convince you that you look great. That's an issue that needs to be worked on outside of the gym. While you may not have issues as extreme as anorexia, it does seem like your self-image is something that a counselor or therapist may be able to help you to improve.
I really like the suggestion someone made about investing in a personal shopper or stylist for a day. They can help you find styles that best suit your figure.
You're beautiful with great curves. Maybe you'd be happier with more muscle definition? You'll need to focus on strength training to help you with that. My fear is that no matter how good you look, you won't be pleased with the outcome.
Take care of yourself!0 -
I had a figure like that when i was your age and i was 5 inches shorter than you , you must be a size 8 or 10 ........... I would say you have a gorgeous figure that any one of us would be proud of, i don't think you need to lose any weight as you don't look heavy or over weight, don't compare yourself to other women , just be happy with the way you are, BTW i'm trying to get down to that goal weight myself , stuck at 133 lbs , but seeing as you've managed to get there and you look amazing you've inspired me to lose that last 7lbs
I know that I really shouldn't compare myself to other women, but I do
I'm so happy that you have been inspired and I wish you the best of luck losing those last few pounds!!! 0 -
I think you look GREAT!!! I'd LOVE for my body to look like yours! Haha0
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You look terrific !!! Stop worrying and comparing yourself to others your age! If it helps, my 25 year old son thinks you're HOT!
Well that's always nice to hear Thank you so much for commenting! 0 -
It seems like your self image, rather than your body, needs some work. Unfortunately, no matter how perfect anyone else thinks you look, it probably won't convince you that you look great. That's an issue that needs to be worked on outside of the gym. While you may not have issues as extreme as anorexia, it does seem like your self-image is something that a counselor or therapist may be able to help you to improve.
I really like the suggestion someone made about investing in a personal shopper or stylist for a day. They can help you find styles that best suit your figure.
You're beautiful with great curves. Maybe you'd be happier with more muscle definition? You'll need to focus on strength training to help you with that. My fear is that no matter how good you look, you won't be pleased with the outcome.
Take care of yourself!
I hope that's not true. I hope one day I will love the way I look. Like I said to someone else, this is my form of therapy. This is the first time I have gotten advice and feedback from people who do not know me personally. But yes, if my negative self-image persists, I do think I would need to talk to a professional. And I would love to have a stylist for a day! But paying for graduate school doesn't leave much money to spend on proper clothes! Thank you for your post 0 -
You probably don't have an eating disorder, but you might want to look up body dysmorphic disorder. And I mean that sincerely. I can tell you the truth, how stunning your body is from head to toe, in my opinion, but it doesn't matter as it's what *you* see in the mirror. I'd consider getting some sort of counseling in order to understand why you're dissatisfied with your body. If you feel counseling is out of the question, don't focus on losing weight, but work out more. That might change your body in a way that would be satisfying to yourself.
Good luck girly.0 -
And I would love to have a stylist for a day! But paying for graduate school doesn't leave much money to spend on proper clothes! Thank you for your post
You could ask as a birthday or Christmas present.0 -
It seems like your self image, rather than your body, needs some work. Unfortunately, no matter how perfect anyone else thinks you look, it probably won't convince you that you look great. That's an issue that needs to be worked on outside of the gym. While you may not have issues as extreme as anorexia, it does seem like your self-image is something that a counselor or therapist may be able to help you to improve.
I really like the suggestion someone made about investing in a personal shopper or stylist for a day. They can help you find styles that best suit your figure.
You're beautiful with great curves. Maybe you'd be happier with more muscle definition? You'll need to focus on strength training to help you with that. My fear is that no matter how good you look, you won't be pleased with the outcome.
Take care of yourself!
I hope that's not true. I hope one day I will love the way I look. Like I said to someone else, this is my form of therapy. This is the first time I have gotten advice and feedback from people who do not know me personally. But yes, if my negative self-image persists, I do think I would need to talk to a professional. And I would love to have a stylist for a day! But paying for graduate school doesn't leave much money to spend on proper clothes! Thank you for your post
Getting advice here is a step in the right direction, but remember that we aren't certified therapists (most of us, anyway). Run far and fast from anyone who tries to diagnose and treat you through the forum. While you're in grad school it may actually be the PERFECT time to start seeing a therapist. I know when I was in grad school, some of the local hospitals had sliding scale that provided significantly reduced session costs. Also grad school (and the period immediately following) is a time of big stress - so it may be helpful just to spend some time hashing out your life with an objective (and trained) listener.
I also think you're better off going to a therapist sooner rather than later. The longer you hold onto this negative self-image, the more ingrained it will become, and the harder it will be for you to change it. You're beautiful, it's time for you to appreciate it 0 -
The worst thing you can do is compare yourself to others. Right now it's possible that someone will see your pictures and start to negatively compare themselves to you. It's a no win situation. There are all sorts of shapes and sizes in this world, yours is yours alone. If you have a healthy BMI , eat right and exercise and you still pick on yourself, it's time to do some mental work. Practice working on the mental chatter, when it starts up close your eyes and breathe and tell yourself, " Nope, no more negativity. I'm not going to play that game anymore." I know it sounds kind of corny, but that's because you're not used to looking at yourself in a positive light.
Love yourself, be kind to yourself and take care of yourself.0 -
Hey there! We are pretty much the same shape, and by the looks of it you - like me - have a shorter torso and longer legs. It is difficult to ignore the 'straight up and down' shape which is so loved in the media, but we need to learn to love our curves which are the envy of posters here!
FWIW, I think you look amazing.0 -
Age: 22
Height: 5’8.5”
HW: 160 lbs
SW: 140 lbs
CW: 133 lbs
GW: 125 lbs
I would like to preface this post by saying I do not have an eating disorder. My sister was anorexic when she was a teenager and has been struggling with an eating disorder since. Ever since I began losing weight, many friends and family members have said “You’re not anorexic, are you?”, instead of celebrating my success with me. Let me just say, it’s quite annoying. I understand they are just concerned, but when I have been working my butt of at the gym and eating well, the last thing I want to hear is that I have developed an eating disorder. I have a healthy BMI and plan on keeping it that way.
Now that that’s out of the way... I can’t help but feel discouraged when I look at pictures of other women who have a similar build and weight and feel I look nothing like them. I understand that everyone’s body is different, but when someone my height looks ten times better than me when they are 20 lbs heavier, I must be doing something wrong. My boyfriend says I am crazy and that I look great, but he is too sweet and has said that since I met him two years ago and was a lot heavier. When we go out in public, he tries to find women who have a similar shape as I do so I can see what they look like. I always think they look way better than I do. Thoughts like “No way my thighs are that small!” and “Like I could fit into those clothes!” run through my head.
So, I ask everyone in the myfitnesspal community to please tell me how heavy I look in pictures, and what areas of my body could use some toning. I know this all must sound incredibly self-absorbed, and for that I truly apologize. I just want to be proud of my body and the hard work it took to get there, but I can’t seem to get over my negative self-image. At the same time, however, please don’t say positive things just to make me feel better. I want the truth, and I thank you so much in advance if you give it to me!
I feel the same way you do, as far as looking at other people my height and age and thinking, "God I'm built like a 50 year old woman!". I just feel so much heavier than most girls my age (though, having said that, most of my close friends my age are obese coincidentally). I am a few cm short of 5'6" and weigh 144. I'm 23 years old. I don't know my exact bodyfat % but based on how flabby I am, I'm sure it's staggeringly high. NOW, about YOU, I know this will mean absolutely NOTHING to you since you (no offense) have a skewed perception of how you really look (as I'm told, I do.), but I would KILL to look like you! YOU LOOK F**KING AMAZING! The only place I would even consider an "imperfection" would be that damn place under your *kitten* that all us women struggle to keep toned. But I am seriously in awe! Your arms are perfectly slim and toned, your stomach has not a jiggly bit of fat on it, your thighs are even and do not touch, no double chin....I honestly don't see anything to be unhappy about. Be glad you don't look like me! BE PROUD OF ALL YOU HAVE ACCOMPLISHED. YOU LOOK LIKE A MAGAZINE MODEL. I am so miserable over how I look that it's beginning to make me extremely unhappy and I cry sometimes because I feel I will never look as good as someone like you does, so be happy and grateful! And keep doing what you're doing because it's absolutely working, and you don't need to lose a single pound more! I know that you're going to do what you're going to do, but you do realize your goal weight will put you at the minimum for a healthy bmi? You don't want to be underweight, I'm sure!0 -
Maybe the curves are throwing you; you probably do have to wear different styles than someone who is built like a boy.
I think this is a large part of it. I am only 5'6" and weigh 135 lbs. I actually think we look quite similar in body composition, but the difference is my breasts are smaller and my hips are quite narrow (bone structure). I have a 28.5" waist and 35.5" hips.
You look pretty darn healthy now but perhaps you still have a higher than desired (for you to feel comfortable) body fat %. I know I would still like to lose a few more pounds of fat. Your upper body and arms look fabulous, IMO. It looks like you carry more weight in your butt/thighs/hips, but I think you should just keep eating well and working out and slowly drop a few more pounds and see if you feel happier. But try not to compare yourself to others. Everyone carries weight differently and you have no idea how they look without their clothes on.0 -
I think its not a body prob but a mind issue. A lot of people when losing weight never see themselves as they are but as they were. I was 250 pounds got to 170 and looked good but never felt like it did and now i look aqt those pics (had baby and bigger now lol) and just cant believe I never saw it. We are our own worst critic if you dont like how you look (which i think you look fantasic) then like another person said so some weight training maybe thats what you are wanting. But you look fantastic hun!0
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Your boyfriend is probably not telling you you're beautiful because he's your boyfriend and because he's sweet. He's telling you that because the typical male reaction to you should be somewhere in the area of "wow." It's often to take the opinion of a significant other for granted since we're often biased towards the one we love...but as an "objective" MFP member, I will attest to the opinion that you look extremely fit and healthy (things I feel are more important than pure measurements).0
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You look really good, I am 5'9 and can understand the feeling of being "Bigger" when I was younger I was 135lbs and lived in Japan for a year, I went through the phase that I never felt I was thin enough. I realized later in life, that I am tall. I will never be the same size as some of my friends that are 5'4. It took me a long time to learn this and now I embrace wearing heels now and love being tall!
Look beyond the scale, because at your height you have to focus on other measurements. Body fat % eating healthy and as many have said don't focus on losing more weight, you can focus on firming up the body you have at this point. You are beautiful!0 -
I know what you're going thru and it's not an eating disorder, nor is it low self esteem....I went thru(and still do at times) this, but what keeps me from obsessing about it is that I have a love for myself. I know I shouldn't look at other ppl and wish that my body was like theirs, but being realistic, sometimes I do look at ppl and say, "I wish my gut was that flat, or hope my thighs get there", truth is you are who you are and we have to love ourselves. We have to make sure that we are complete in ourselves before anyone else can. We can't let friends, a man, or the looks of complete strangers define who we are. Look at your personality, your sense of humor, and you values in life...THAT defines us...you know that you have worked it the hell out to get the body that you have and it wasn't easy...be proud of YOU 4 YOU!!! Know that you rock and that this life is not a competition, but that we've all got to get to where we want to be for US no matter WHO likes it or not. You can get all the congrats in the world from your friends and the ppl who are proud of you and are inspired by you on this site which is WONDERFUL...I love and appreciate the fact that I found this site for that reason among others, but at the end of the day...KNOW THAT YOU ROCK FOR YOURSELF! That being said, you have done an awesome job on yourself, I am proud of you and I congratulate you on a job well done. Now is the time for you to congratulate yourself because U R awesome!!!! Great job!:huh: :drinker: :smokin: 0
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Very seriously, you are built like Marilyn Monroe... and everybody knows what men thought of Her! However, if you insist on building more muscle, lifting weights and doing more cardio should do it!
Your boyfriend is correct: You are gorgeous! :flowerforyou:0 -
I'm a foot shorter than you and weigh more than you. I think you're boyfriend's right. You look gorgeous. If you'd like to tone up then fine but I think you don't 'need' to lose any weight and I would be ridiculously happy with your body.
Dont make the same mistake I did. Before I had kids and let myself go I was so hard on myself... And looking back on it I really had no reason. I should have been proud of myself and so should you!0 -
I saw your pictures and said "wow". You are my goal! Now as a woman, I understand what it's like to look in the mirror and not be satisfied - oh this is not toned enough, this is too lumpy, etc. But realize that you are you're own worst critic and many of us look up to you! Be proud and realize that you are being way too hard on yourself!0
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