Children with ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder )??

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  • Sugar5593
    Sugar5593 Posts: 22
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    First of all........... YOU ARE A GREAT MOM!!! .
    I have no special degree or collage for that matter, but ive been working with children who are all over the autism spectrum for 4 years now. From Assburgers to huge behavioral managment issues to non verbal autistic children. Now i know this is not the disability that has been diagnosed but i just wanted to add some suggestions. Every child is difrent and will respond diffrently to any technique. So dont be hard on yourself when u try something and it doesnt seem to help at all. Just check that off your list of things tried and move on. Ok so some techniques that have helped for the kidoes i work with are... Well ill just make a list and you can take it or leave it..... You know best what will work into your life style and what your son will respond to..
    1 - Posative reinforcement... If one child is not following direction really reinforce the other who IS following direction. Lots of dramatic praises and even keeping something like nikles in your pocket to give when you see the exspected behavior( we use skittles but you may not want to give out so much sugar)
    2 - Everything yourchild really enjoys is a tool. Turn that tool into a posative rather then a negative. (Instead of taking away when he engages in inappropriate behavior...... Grant him access for showing appropriate behavior)
    3 - teach appropriate ways to exspress how he is feeling(best time to teach is before a behavior) examples could be... Taking 10 breaths to calm self down, going to his room to listen to music, maybe get a punching bag or if old enough..... and safe enough.... Hammer some nails into a board. What ever you think will be calming and let him vent his frustrations in a safe appropriate way.
    4 - Use a timer for every transition. There are timers out there now that are soundless and have a vibrint red dial and as the time ticks downthe red disapears.
    5 - Visuals are your friend! And it doesnt just have to be pictures. You could make a braclet with those alphabet beads that say "think" to remind him to stop and think before reacting. ive used a old fasion thermometer and colored from 100 degrees and up red and from 60 degrees and down blue. Put a small rubberband around the middle and exsplain that when u r feeling just right you are in the middle, and when you are feeling frustrated you are in the red(what can you do to get back in the middle? ) And sometimes when you are sad or depressed you are in the blue(agian what can you do to get in the middle). The pont of this is to help them be aware of where they r at and in the long run be able to self maNage their feelings.

    Sorry this is such a long post... I have tons of ideas and techniques and if you are intrested i of talking more you can add me as a friend and i could give you some more tools to pick from.
    Again only you can say whats worth trying and whats not. Every one is diffrent. And dont EVER EVER EVER forget that you are a great mother.... God gave you this child because he knew you were the perfect mother for him.
  • lcoulter23
    lcoulter23 Posts: 568 Member
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    My son is autistic and he also is OCD. Some days I think he also has ODD because he is so defiant at times. we have had people threaten to call CPS on us before who lived across the street from us because he screams when he gets frustrated. My son is 7 and is verbal, it is just hard to understand him at times. Our house is also usually really messy because of him. He cleans up after himself, but usually it is messy again soon after...

    We actually taught him how to tell time over the summer because it was a battle every time we wanted to do something at a certain time. He is in Kindergarten this year and he is the only kid in his class who knows how to tell time. He also knows his addition up to number 20, and that is in every form it is possible to get to 20. He is very gifted as well. I know how frustrating it is to have a child like him at times. The very fact that my marriage to my husband is so strong is a miracle that only God could deal. We are right now in a fight with Medicaid so that we can get additional speech therapy for him. He gets the bare minimum at school, but they don't want to pay for anything now, even though they put the diagnosis in as apraxia and he needs intense speech therapy to help with it no matter what the diagnosis is.
  • Kimrenaud
    Kimrenaud Posts: 118 Member
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    That is not fair of the school..... some kids like my youngest now 10 and ADD also now on meds has always been my "dennis the menice" some kids are accident prone at 12 mos he fell while pushing a walking toy and knocked his front teeth up into his pallet, at 2 he fell with a bottle in his mouth bit thru his lower lip and knocked his teeth up again. At 3 he fell running out of the baraber shop and fell and gave himself a huge bump on the forehead. He is a great kid and means well but just cant stay out of mischeif. They are inquizative and just need more supervision with lots of love.
  • Sugar5593
    Sugar5593 Posts: 22
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    I have a client with autism who in an a phase where he is trying to be as loud as he can in order to get what he wants... His parents have chosen to ignore the behavior completly (no eye contact or any other contact) untill he is showing appropriate behavior. Im told that they had some of the same issues with concerned neighbors. There approch to it was to print out information about autism (particularly the behaviors he is showing... Screaming yelling crying slapping his stomach) and handed it out to the neighbors.
    About the comunication issues, you said he is verbal? Have u ever heard of a program caled PECS? I dont remember what it stands for off the top of my head(picture exchange comunication system? ) Anyway you make a folder of picture icons and the child shows you what he wants by using pictures..... In your case... And tell me if im wrong..... it seams that when he gets to the point that he is too frustrated to communicate? there are icones for "i feel" and the child puts the picture of angry or sad or frustrated or confused... Also there are icons for "i need" and the child would put the picture a hug or a break or quiet time or whatever it is that he needs to help calm down.
  • jen1516
    jen1516 Posts: 77 Member
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    Bumping to see if anyone else has some more tips, since my 6 year old also has ADHD and ODD.
  • calliope_music
    calliope_music Posts: 1,242 Member
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    i'm a therapist in an elementary school (licensed social worker) and i'd say 90% of the kids i work with are diagnosed with ADHD and about half my clients total are also diagnosed with ODD. so i feel your pain - but i only need to deal with them at school, not at home.

    the first thing i recommend to parents is to make sure that they understand that they in fact set the rules and to use clear, CONSISTENT consequences. if your child throws a temper tantrum one day and gets a punishment, then make sure the next time they do it they also get the consequence - the same one. i ask parents to sit with their child and make up a consequence chart and post in plain view.

    have you tried a reward system? for example, if your child can go 3 days out of the week without getting into trouble at school, they get a reward - something as simple as you making their favorite meal or letting them pick out a movie. i suggest to parents that the reward is not monetary or tangible - spend time with your child!

    are you doing joint counseling with your child? it's always a struggle for me to get parents to come in, but when they do, i find that sort of "mediating" a session between parent and child is always helpful - especially for me because i can see how they interact.

    those are the things i came up with off the top of my head. i'll look into my bag o'tricks and see what else i can come up with :)
  • spcopps
    spcopps Posts: 283
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    My son has great difficulty in school but is a Varsity football player now. # years of football has done amazing things for him. Not baseball, these kids need agressive exercise and disapline.

    I agree with the sports. My 7 year old is ADD and her pedi told us the BEST sports for these children are things such as football, soccer, basketball, tennis. Worse are baseball and other subtle sports like golf. They have to have sports that keep them in constant motion or they get bored and that accomplishes nothing. The more active sports keeps them engaged and gives them an outlet for their energy. Before my DD was diagnosed we had her in tball for a year and she HATED it. After that we went to soccer and she found her love for sports.
  • ifrog3n1
    ifrog3n1 Posts: 29 Member
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    It did my heart good to see all the people who posted on this. My youngest was diagnosed with ADHA & ODD when he was 6 and actually at the time it was a relief to know that it was a medical condition and that we wern't bad parents.(our other child who is 2 1/2 years older was wonderful so we knew there was something going on.) We got him into therapy and to a phychiotrist and on medication and got him special help at school etc... then at 10 he was diagnosed with diabeties. By now his school wanted to pawn him off on a special behavorial school. We were at our wits end. We did everything that the dr.s were telling us to and our boy was still struggeling. It breaks your heart when you see the wonderful kid he can be yet he never gets invited over anywhere or has friends to play with and his little selfconfidence keeps getting erroded by all the negative things he hears about himself.
    Well there is light at the end of that long dark tunnel. One thing that his Dr. had always told us was that he would eventually out grow a lot of this.And Praise God last summer he did a lot of maturing and we had an aide put in place at his school to just work with him and head off any bad behaviors before they got out of hand. Much to everyones pleasent surprise he has done wonderfully well. We found the right combo of medications and it is amazing at what a happy sweet kid he is now. We no longer have to go to the dr & thearpist every week but about evert 2-3 months! His aide says she rarely has to head off any behavior and he has several friends he interacts with daily.
    When this all started my husband and I were reluctant to put him on medication but I tell you what...It saved our familly. That and a lot of hard work and a ton of love. Seek help with an experienced Dr. it can make all the difference.
    I wish you and your family the best of luck.
  • ifrog3n1
    ifrog3n1 Posts: 29 Member
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    I have to say that i can vouch for this little guy's improvement - he is my Godson & i love him very much. It's been amazing this past year to see the progress he's made.
  • NotAllWhoWanderAreLost
    NotAllWhoWanderAreLost Posts: 615 Member
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    just bumping this thread so i can come back and read it later... My 6 1/2 yr old son has Aspergers, is a chronic stutterer, moves constantly, argues/is stubborn a lot but probably not to the extent that he would be diagnosed as ODD or ADHD, just offshoots of his Asperger's diagnosis i guess. He is extremely intelligent, like many aspies are (hyperlexic), and does well in school with appropriate supports and a routine. I however, am not very regimented here at home, though i try...

    oh and i have a 3 yr old son as well who is basically being raised with wolves and fights argues and cries way too much, though not to the level where its clinical (much of it is induced by big brother!). My husband is having a hard time not being a hard-liner dad and its causing stress in our relationship.... Like many of you, i am EXHAUSTED.

    Anyhoo, I really need to go back and read thru what has been posted thus far... but seriously, its nice to meet you all! :)
  • spcopps
    spcopps Posts: 283
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    I am curious at what age all your children were diagnosed with ODD? I have a 3 1/2 year old son who has a VERY bad temper. He is so bad if you told him it was raining outside he will say the sun is shining. He also has a VERY bad temper. He will get mad in an instant and start screaming, gritting his teeth and will even pull his arm back to hit (yes me and dadddy included). My DH has NEVER raised a hand to me so I know our son didn't learn this from seeing it. One night he got mad at DH and pulled his fist back but turned and hit the sofa instead of DH. It is so bad for the past year DH won't even let him play fight with me trying to teach him it isn't OK to hit a female (or anyone for that matter). I'm just not sure if he is too young to be diagnosed and if this is a "normal" stage thing he is going through (for about a year and a half now). My other 2 children (DD7 and DS also 3 1/2 don't have a temper like this and don't argue with EVERYTHING we say. I have said he has a bad temper but never knew there could be a clinical reason for his behaviour until seeing this thread!
  • lcoulter23
    lcoulter23 Posts: 568 Member
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    I have a client with autism who in an a phase where he is trying to be as loud as he can in order to get what he wants... His parents have chosen to ignore the behavior completly (no eye contact or any other contact) untill he is showing appropriate behavior. Im told that they had some of the same issues with concerned neighbors. There approch to it was to print out information about autism (particularly the behaviors he is showing... Screaming yelling crying slapping his stomach) and handed it out to the neighbors.
    About the comunication issues, you said he is verbal? Have u ever heard of a program caled PECS? I dont remember what it stands for off the top of my head(picture exchange comunication system? ) Anyway you make a folder of picture icons and the child shows you what he wants by using pictures..... In your case... And tell me if im wrong..... it seams that when he gets to the point that he is too frustrated to communicate? there are icones for "i feel" and the child puts the picture of angry or sad or frustrated or confused... Also there are icons for "i need" and the child would put the picture a hug or a break or quiet time or whatever it is that he needs to help calm down.

    My son has a communication book that he uses most of the time, especially when we can't understand him. You are right about the PECS meaning. My son also has a chart for "First do this, then do that" . Right now we are working on trying to get him potty trained, but it isn't working so well. He has a fear of the toilet. bribes don't work well with him. You also have to follow through on everything you say to him because he remembers everything. I have all the information about autism in my wallet on a little card. My son went through that same stage a couple of years ago and he would bang his head on the wall constantly and I would have to stand there with my hand over his forehead so he wouldn't hurt himself. He has not done that in a couple of years now. He also doesn't have as many melt downs with the communication book, but he does still have them on occasion. Mostly when he can't find what he wants to say. he also has some signs that he uses.
  • calliope_music
    calliope_music Posts: 1,242 Member
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    I am curious at what age all your children were diagnosed with ODD? I have a 3 1/2 year old son who has a VERY bad temper. He is so bad if you told him it was raining outside he will say the sun is shining. He also has a VERY bad temper. He will get mad in an instant and start screaming, gritting his teeth and will even pull his arm back to hit (yes me and dadddy included). My DH has NEVER raised a hand to me so I know our son didn't learn this from seeing it. One night he got mad at DH and pulled his fist back but turned and hit the sofa instead of DH. It is so bad for the past year DH won't even let him play fight with me trying to teach him it isn't OK to hit a female (or anyone for that matter). I'm just not sure if he is too young to be diagnosed and if this is a "normal" stage thing he is going through (for about a year and a half now). My other 2 children (DD7 and DS also 3 1/2 don't have a temper like this and don't argue with EVERYTHING we say. I have said he has a bad temper but never knew there could be a clinical reason for his behaviour until seeing this thread!

    3 1/2 years is a little young - i wouldn't feel comfortable diagnosing someone so young with such a hefty diagnosis. is he in school or day care? how does he act there?

    while it's possible to be diagnosed that young, it could still be normal development. i have seen some 4 and 5 year olds like this too...they just haven't matured yet.
  • Kimrenaud
    Kimrenaud Posts: 118 Member
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    Wow it is So refreshing to see so many others who live in a household with this very difficult disorder. I have felt so secluded for a long time. My friends just dont understand what I feel or about my sons issues. For the last 16 years I thought I was going to loose it. It does get alittle better as they get older thank God, but even though we have tried as his parents our very hardest to be consistant, be organized, be strict, be on top ofhis education, be understanding, and not be the opm, set Godly examples, we are truly exhausted. I am exasberated. and sadly, I know its gunna last a life time but I praise God that he has given us patients to deal with it. Now at 16 my son says everything in opposite, not the whole truth, thinks its all funny or he gets mad because we dont believe him. and that is frustrating enough however I am really starting to put it all together, we definatly learned to pick our battles. We try not to let him affect us but oh sometimes he crosses the line, now hes as tall as my husband of 6'3.......I worry about his life up ahead...hes a good kid really, loved by everyone, but treats us his family like crap. We love him so much, we worry about him holding a job, marriaage, will he try drugs, alochol, will he be abusive to his girlfriends. When on meds hes great, off meds.... hes definatly a diffrent person. Not sure why I am saying all this thread but glad to know we havesuch good support through it.
  • CaelaXO
    CaelaXO Posts: 44 Member
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    You can not medicate ODD! It requires a behavorial intervention. My son, who is 6 now, has ADHD. His doctor tried to tack on the ODD diagnosis but i objected and she dropped it. Im a therapist and I know ODD and i know my little guy does not meet the criteria for ODD. The dr did not like when i whipped out my DSM-IV in the office, but it got my point across. Medicating my son for his ADHD has made a world of difference! While alot of people are against medicating children, but when used in conjunction with therapy, it can really be helpful. Just dont give up! Its hard, but it can get better, you just have to stay on top of the school and the doctors and dont accept every answer you get.
  • Triquetra
    Triquetra Posts: 270 Member
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    My 12 year old son has the list of diagnoses: severe ADHD, Aspergers Syndrome, Sensory Integration Disorder, Tourettes Syndrome, 15Q11.3 chromosone deletion, heart condition, etc, etc...

    The only thing that I have found works is to really be consistent and follow through if you say something.

    I use a clipboard chart that he has in the morning and afternoon which states what times are what activities so he knows what is expected of him (I used a timer when he was younger, now just a regular clock/watch). I try to make days relatively consistent as well as in every Monday we do this, Tuesdays we do this, etc.

    Medication, I have had him on 7 different medications for ADHD over the years, you really have to play with different ones and doses until you find the one that works the best. For morning I wake up 1/2 hour before my son and give him his meds, then let him go back to sleep, when I then wake him up for school the meds are already starting in and it makes mornings so much more enjoyable.

    I make sure I do what I say, for example he was misbehaving before Easter, I told him if he didn't smarted up he wouldn't go to easter at his grandparents....well I called my father and had him pick up my other child to go to easter and see her family and my son and I ended up staying home...he learned a lesson that day!

    Make sure you have supports for YOU, whether it is a mom's group or therapist, etc. Your mental health affects their behaviour, they know when they can push your buttons.

    Good Luck, you'll get through and it will get better.
  • jen1516
    jen1516 Posts: 77 Member
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    I just wanted to give an update on my son since I haven't posted in a month. Last month my 6 year old son was diagnosed with ADHD and ODD. He was put on 10mg of Metadate. OMG, it's a miracle pill!!!!! Once it kicked in, it's been so much better. He is no longer getting into trouble at school and is doing MUCH better at home. He still will have a moment here and there but nothing like it was. One great example of the change I have seen in him happened a couple of weeks ago. He got really mad at me (I can't remember why) and instead of him going into a rage of screaming and possibly trying to hit me he went and sat down in front of the fridge. He wouldn't budge or speak for 20 minutes. After that he was okay. I didn't send him there, he went on his own. It was great!

    Now if only I could get the staff at his pediatric's office to stop treating me like a druggie when I call to get a refill. Seriously they act like I'm going to go and sell it on the street. I had to call and ask to give us some extra pills (7) because my son wasn't used to swallowing that size pill yet. So sometimes he had trouble and the pill got all gummy where he had to spit it out and try again with a new one. So this past Monday we were supposed to go for a follow-up appt. and get another prescription. I got my days mixed up and showed up on Tuesday. Oops. We rescheduled the appt for next Tuesday but the 7 pills I got last week were now gone. I asked for a refill and was told in a snotty tone that it was 3 weeks too early and that I shouldn't need any pills. I told her that 7 pills won't last me a month!!!! She then said "Oh, you're right." But seriously, the 2 times I needed refills I got major attitude and they're the ones that prescribed it!!!!!!

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