Annoyed with family.

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mejustmichael
mejustmichael Posts: 109 Member
in Motivation and Support
So I just had this really annoying conversation with my mom. Apparently my grandma and her think i am starving myself, because "My face looks so thin and I don't eat leftovers" FML... Why does this feel the same as someone calling me a fat *kitten*...

She was showing real concern... It was... IDK... indescribable.

my mom battled an eating disorder so i can understand... but Christ. Im working hard and watching what i eat. Its not hard to see me turn away greasy food or go to the gym for a few hours.

anyone else have a conversation like this?

This feeling sucks.

Replies

  • Charger440
    Charger440 Posts: 1,474 Member
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    I cant say I'm in that boat but I typically don't get much support from family on things I decide to do which can be kind of a let down as well. I have no idea if it will work for you but I have just began to ignore the fact and not tell them when I'm doing something cause they prolly wont support me anyway.
  • AsaThorsWoman
    AsaThorsWoman Posts: 2,303 Member
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    It's a mis-gnomer in American (ESPECIALLY TEXAN) culture that frumpy is healthy. They don't understand. Whip out the encyclopedia and show them BMI information, show them you're still over-weight, even with 1 chin. LOL Good luck.
  • mejustmichael
    mejustmichael Posts: 109 Member
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    I just can't explain this feeling I have...

    It sux to think they think I would hurt my body.
  • Hbartels
    Hbartels Posts: 19 Member
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    Are your mother and grandmother overweight themselves? In my experience, if people are self-conscious about their own weight, they can try to keep others in the unhealthy weight range with them. I've had friends that had continually brought me cookies and cakes and ice cream even after specifically asked them not to. If you begin to get healthy, some people see it as a reflection of something they want to do or should do but aren't. You know what's best for your body so stay strong.
  • scarletleavy
    scarletleavy Posts: 841 Member
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    Do your best to ignore their comments. My parents think I have an eating disorder because I don't want to eat big servings of cakes and pies and ice cream or have huge heaping second servings of dinner, etc etc. My dad always says to me "You know I don't think you have a weight problem, so why don't you eat this..." After having a huge lunch yesterday (albeit generally quite healthy, salmon, veggies, etc) he wanted me to have coffee, grappa and some dessert afterward. So frustrating. I've worked really hard to be in shape and not going to throw it away over some silly comments or cake.
  • zeeeb
    zeeeb Posts: 805 Member
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    it sucks when people try to sabotage you, or get into a cycle of putting you down for everything you do.

    You just need to know that you are doing the right thing for the right reasons and don't worry about their envy. If you know you aren't starving yourself, that's all that matters.

    If you don't get the support you are after from your family and friends, come here. the people here will provide support, motivation, information that comes from the right place.

    Keep up the good work, you will thank yourself later when everything is easier and more enjoyable.
  • mejustmichael
    mejustmichael Posts: 109 Member
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    <3

    Thanks peeps.
  • peacehawk
    peacehawk Posts: 421 Member
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    It is hard when you feel like you are the only one. it's good that you feel like you have some support here online. Doesn't make it a substitute for family though. Maybe (not to say you should have any expectations in this regard) as you get healthier, your family will begin to see you as an inspiration instead of an anomaly. For now, the best thing you can do is to love yourself enough to stick with it and to have compassion and understand that they are probably speaking from a place of love and of fear at the same time. They are speaking from that place of deep love that most families feel for one another. The place of fear is fear of change and possibly a fear that once you get healthy, you will leave them behind. Know that they love you and let them know that you love them, no matter what food you eat or what you look like or what new friends you make along the way. This journey toward health is not an easy one, but you are showing yourself love and compassion through walking this path. Try not to let doubt ster you in a different direction. Good luck and peace.
  • wonnder1
    wonnder1 Posts: 460
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    I come from a verrrry passive agressive family. If you were in my family this would actually be a compliment.

    In a normal family the conversation might go "Look at you, you're down to one chin and you never even eat leftovers! That's great! In my family it goes, "Look at you, one chin, no leftovers. I hardly know you anymore."

    It's all in your perception. I've learned (over a lot of years) to take it as I want to. Just take it as a compliment that they notice and move on. People can easily say to just ignore them, but they're your family and their opinion does matter. So if you feel good about yourself, assume they do too.

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