Need to know that someone is out there...having a tough time

amyelizbradley
amyelizbradley Posts: 379 Member
edited September 26 in Motivation and Support
I am having a really tough weekend; I think my toughest yet since I made a commitment to healthier living. My son's birthday was yesterday and it started with a small piece of icecream cake (I was 147 calories over my daily goal that day). Today, I struggled with parenting my two kids (my son has a behavior disorder) but we ended the struggle on a good note. We went to a movie and I was so hungry but my control wasn't around... I ate a handful of popcorn from my kids' bag, Twizzler's, Reese's Pieces, Air Head's, and then when I got home... Wheat Thins... After logging it all, I am a grand total of 305 calories over my daily budget of 1200 calories and haven't eaten dinner yet. I am jittery/ overwhelmed/ hungry/ lonely/ in need of motivation... you get the picture.

I have lost a total of 32 pounds (with another 30 to go). I have been able to stick to my daily calorie goal of 1200 calories (minus yesterday & today), using myfitnesspal and I have been working out on a regular basis. I know that I look better; I know that I have made progress, so why am I so down at the moment? Where did my wonderful discipline go (& how do I get it back)?

Replies

  • stormieweather
    stormieweather Posts: 2,549 Member
    Ok, so today....let it be a maintenance calorie day. Eat up to your maintenance for just today and then, tomorrow, go back to your normal deficit. Make dinner a good one though...to get your nutrients in. Drink a bit of extra water and forgive yourself. Maybe you needed this in order to keep up the discipline.

    Don't beat yourself up.

    :flowerforyou:
  • austepants
    austepants Posts: 356 Member
    We all have good and bad days. Today was one of my not so great days. I was 832 over my calories today and a few hundred over yesterday as well. Sometimes life gets in the way. It's just one day don't beat yourself up and tomorrow start fresh. That is what I'm doing :) Kudos to you for logging it all! Way to stay honest sometimes that's the hardest part.
  • fireflyangel22
    fireflyangel22 Posts: 85 Member
    I had a horrible weekend also for healthy eating. Had easter dinner with the family yesterday, and not only did I overeat at the meal, but I picked at food and candy before and after dinner. Today my fiancee and I grilled out and I ate 4 hotdogs, and a ton of potato chips. Tonight my stomach is feeling crappy, and I'm super sluggish. Gotta get back on track tomorrow. Been slacking on the exercise too, because the weather here in Wisconsin has turned back to winter.
    You're not the only one struggling.
    Lets get back on track together!!!!
  • lemanda
    lemanda Posts: 116 Member
    I struggle daily with my will power and motivation on a daily basis, but I just have to tell myself to take it one day at a time. We are human and no one should feel the need to be perfect, but that doesn't mean that we dont! Just keep taking it one day at a time and celebrate the little victories. It gets easier the longer you stick to it, so keep trying!
  • Clovergirl17
    Clovergirl17 Posts: 61
    I feel your pain...yesterday was my birthday and I was a whopping 713 calories over my daily budget. AND I couldn't bring myself to get off my lazy butt and work out. Today I at least went for a walk, but I'm still beating myself up over yesterday. PLUS, (and this is something I've noticed...) when was your last period? Around the end of mine and a few days after it leaves I get SUPER emotional/lonely/discipline goes out the window. About once I month for a few days my emotions go complete whacko and I end up eating junk and crying over stupid crap. Not sure if it's the same for you, but I thought I would mention it :) I hope things get better for you soon! Remember why you started in the first place!
  • patssarah
    patssarah Posts: 146 Member
    This might not be the advice your looking for but I firmly believe that one *cheat* day a week is okay!! I almost always have a jumbo margarita one weekend night on Date night with my husband.. and that thing is about 1/2 my daily calorie intake! and I usually scarf down chips and dip too..

    You should eat a light dinner, and then wake up and start fresh in the morning!!
    Dont worry too much about it!
  • admmommy
    admmommy Posts: 143 Member
    I feel like I am reading my own post. My oldest daughter has a disorder as well and I struggle with it on a daily basis. Also, because of the struggle I end up snacking on anything that I find not healthy in my house. The weekends are hard for me to actually get a work out in so I feel like anything that I lost over the week I gain over the weekend. Something needs to change I know this for sure, and that is why I am on here. We can support each other here. All I know is that things will get better!
  • Wonderfilledwoman
    Wonderfilledwoman Posts: 23
    I hear ya!!! This weekend was my daughter's birthday...the cake was soooo good. Then I was beating myself up over it. But then I remembered that I've lost TEN pounds in two weeks plus inches! It's only one weekend. Don't let it kill the progress you've already made! You can get back on strong again tomorrow. Make sure you drink lots of water, it will help flush your system from all the not-so-healthy stuff. Each day is a new start. And, if it gets right down to it...each meal can be a new start!
  • mejustmichael
    mejustmichael Posts: 109 Member
    Everyone has bad weeks. This week was "Fiesta" here in San Antonio, its a city wide, week long, party. Food everywhere and Alcohol by the truck lode. and yes i partaked

    We all fall down. and mess up.

    Its not about the falling or even how long your down. What matters is getting back up and starting again.

    Whats done is done. just move on and be better tomorrow. Like always we will be here for ya. your half way done. YOU CAN DO IT!

    =D
  • Fat2FitAmanda
    Fat2FitAmanda Posts: 118
    I am going through the same thing, only mine isn't just a tough weekend, it's more like a tough month! I don't know what happened! It's really hard when you have events that have food that you normally don't have around until you can get your willpower up high enough to resist it. I've been at this for about 2-3 YEARS only losing 53 lbs in that time because I cannot figure out that thing called willpower. So maybe we can help each other out! Let's get back on this wagon tomorrow and kick some butt!
  • thomalr6180
    thomalr6180 Posts: 94 Member
    I had a bad weekend too, but you know what, tomorrow is a new day. I always do better during the week.
  • Rhonda665
    Rhonda665 Posts: 10
    I have been there. In fact, I have never had to diet in my entire life until the last year or so and I am not good at it. I have found that if I let myself get really hungry, I don't care about dieting and will eat whatever is there and sounds good. Then, I get very discouraged afterwards and wish I hadn't done it. Everyone is going to slip up every now and then. Don't sweat it. All you can do is start right now and try to stay on track. The easiest way for me to stay on track is to make sure I have something healthy to eat wherever I am. I have stuff and home, stuff and work, snacks in my purse and have a small cooler that I use if I am out somewhere like my kids' ballgames. I try not let myself get to the point of "I'm starving!". Also, I have found that when I do slip up (like eating out and ordering a huge meal and dessert) I do not actually gain anything. I may not lose, but I don't GAIN. One slip up doesn't take away how far you've come. 32 pounds is awesome! Be proud of yourself and know that you can do it! Good luck!
  • cjwolfjen
    cjwolfjen Posts: 323 Member
    Ok listen. Everyone who eats healthy and exercises has days like these. The difference between you and some other people out there, is that you don't give up. Anyone can "diet" for a while and lose some pounds and then when they have a bad weekend they just give up and feel like the got too far off track to get back in it.

    If you really believe in yourself and know this is a lifestyle change not just a "diet", then you know this isn't the end. Forgive yourself, we all have days like that. You have proven you can do it, look how far you've come. Keep it up.
  • Heather75
    Heather75 Posts: 3,386 Member
    It's just a day. I was over today, too. Tomorrow I plan to get my fat self to the gym and make better choices.

    You're okay. Really.
  • jbug100
    jbug100 Posts: 406 Member
    I think that getting past the guilt after a high cal day is so tough. It may be the hardest part of a making a true lifestyle change. I used to splurge and then feel like a failure and quit. I'm getting better at seeing a bad day or even week as a natural part of the process. You can always get back to good eating. Also hard is kicking the cravings that crop up all the time after a period of less than healthy eating. You are still in this! Success is getting back to business!
  • atabt
    atabt Posts: 58 Member
    Congratulations on your weight loss! That's very inspirational to me.

    My daughter's birthday party was yesterday - lots of calories - plus there are leftovers (including cake) in my fridge. So it wasn't a good weekend for me either. But I figure that if I can't just go with the flow once in a while, then life isn't of good quality. I had my little splurge, which reminded me that I don't like how I feel when I eat that way, and now I'm ready to move past it.

    I have heard it said that you're only as "good" as your last meal. So maybe you can try something that I do sometimes and plan ahead using MFP. If I've been "bad" then sometimes I will think in advance about what I am going to have for my next meal. Then I enter it into MFP and see how many calories it is. Usually that makes me feel better and more in control. And it's satisfying to eat that meal later and know that I have just gotten myself back on track.

    Don't worry, Monday is the start of another week and you can put the weekend behind you. Don't be discouraged!
  • JAG1224
    JAG1224 Posts: 191 Member
    i've been there, feeling just like you. i've felt guilty and down in the dumps after a day or weekend of being over my calories. but it happens. just take it one day at a time. it happens to all of us. tomorrow's a new day, start fresh! :happy:
  • Dawntodusk
    Dawntodusk Posts: 262 Member
    I think that if you are depending on will-power to keep from over-eating certain foods, there will always be days like the one you describe. In my opinion, the psychological need for certain foods is stronger than will-power, so eventually you will cave.

    So, I think rather than trying to limit the amount of sweets (for example) or unhealthy foods that you eat, you should stop eating them completely. By doing so, you will eliminate your desire for them completely. Then, on those days when you are feeling stressed out, you will not reach for unhealthy foods to comfort you.

    I know that this appears to be the more difficult path to take, but actually it is the easiest. You won't "cheat" because you won't want what is unhealthy - ever.
  • downtome
    downtome Posts: 529 Member
    I hear ya...I had a couple days this week where I ate about 2700 calories! I just get back up the next day and keep at it. I have also been slacking on exercise as well but everyday I keep trying and that is what counts...NOT giving up completely! don't beat yourself up, although i know how hard it is not to do it. Everyday is a fresh start to continue on your journey. Believe me, it's been hard for me to. I feel as though my motivation is slipping and it makes me mad that I am self sabtoging but I'm gonna stick with it and reach my goal no matter how many slip ups I have, i will not talk myself into giving up and neither should you! we can do this...one day at a time! Hugs
  • MeggieMae22
    MeggieMae22 Posts: 40
    I'm still new to all of this so I tend to mess up a lot, but I know when I mess up I can make it right and learn from it. Everyone messes up on things. Don't beat your self up about it just know it's going to happen every now and then. Last night I had really bad munchies, and I kept eating my wheat thins so I made sure to get some more exercise done. I changed my room, and burned some calories. I wasn't as upset with myself after I burned those calories. Just know your not alone, and you have people here to support you.

    Things will get better.
  • iamhealingmyself
    iamhealingmyself Posts: 579 Member
    Ok, so today....let it be a maintenance calorie day. Eat up to your maintenance for just today and then, tomorrow, go back to your normal deficit. Make dinner a good one though...to get your nutrients in. Drink a bit of extra water and forgive yourself. Maybe you needed this in order to keep up the discipline.

    Don't beat yourself up.

    :flowerforyou:
    You might be surprised that this could actually help you and give you a bigger loss in the next week or two especially if you're set for max loss and have been sticking to it strictly. It's one day and you won't gain weight (unless you binge on salt) from one day. You feel badly for letting yourself down. REMEMBER this the next time you feel yourself slipping. Bring up those emotions, the hurt, the disappointment, but also think about WHY you're eating those things. Was today just a day of bad planning? Keep an emergency stash of things you can grab that won't thow you off the wagon - be it mini meals, healthy snacks, a granola bar in your purse... whatever it takes!

    If you know the WHY you can fix the HOW! Awareness is the first step in recovery (and yes, this is a recovery of sorts. A recovery from the life you USED to lead)
  • amyelizbradley
    amyelizbradley Posts: 379 Member
    I truly appreciate the time that everyone took to post a response; all of them were helpful.

    One tough part of this weekend for me is that I had indeed eliminated my trigger foods from my diet completely and actually stopped craving them (even resisted them when the were in the house, mere feet away). Perhaps that is why I was so confused if you will about this weekend- resolve and everything I had gained mentally flew out the window; a very strange experience for me.

    I think even though I cognitively know that there are other people struggling out there with their healthy living goals, my heart had not known that; reading the responses to my post has helped me in the right direction. Thank you.

    And if any one of you ever need a friend, or just a bit of advice (even someone just to listen), please do not hesitate to friend me/ contact me. I hope to return the favor someday.
    Amy
  • Fat2FitAmanda
    Fat2FitAmanda Posts: 118
    I'm seeing a pattern in these respsonses....birthday parties! That's where my downfall happened too. April 2nd was my birthday but my 3 year old's is the 3rd so we had a party for her. I'd started out the day fine then went nuts. And once I start, I say well I already screwed this day up, might as well eat what I want the rest of the day....bad attitude to have and it shows on the scale. So anyway...bottom line, birthday parties are the devil!!!
  • crazeness
    crazeness Posts: 91
    We all have days like this just remember that tomorrow is a new day. :)
  • Dawntodusk
    Dawntodusk Posts: 262 Member
    I had indeed eliminated my trigger foods from my diet completely and actually stopped craving them (even resisted them when the were in the house, mere feet away). Perhaps that is why I was so confused if you will about this weekend- resolve and everything I had gained mentally flew out the window; a very strange experience for me.

    Without knowing the details of what your trigger foods are and what you stopped craving, I think that there are food groups - like sugar and refined carbs - that trigger any foods in the group. So, for example, if you give up cookies, but not potato chips, the potato chips can still trigger your desire for the cookies because you are raising your glucose when eating them, and causing a crash. I think that artificial sweeteners also can serve as a trigger although I don't know the mechanism. So if you're drinking diet soda, that might trigger. You might want to re-examine your triggers and your cravings.

    I'm stressing this because I truly believe that we have to help ourselves as much as we can, and relying on will power is not going to do it - usually! Eventually we will cave!

    All the best to you.
This discussion has been closed.

Categories