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How can I make him understand?

Ridestolive6969
Ridestolive6969 Posts: 56
edited September 2024 in Motivation and Support
So, I have been on this journey since January, and I feel wonderful about the progress I have made in my weight loss, but more than that, I am thrilled that I have learned a whole new way to feed my body!!!! Since I gave up eating foods that were toxic to me, I feel wonderful and have tons of energy! Sure there are times when I feel I could just eat everything and anything (usually PMS or stress will cause this), but I have learned over the last few months that there are some things I can have as an indulgence and other things will make me sick! ( Yes I can have a slice of cake at the party but dont give me a burrito with green chile!)

Of course I am currently restricting my calories because I want to lose weight. But, I dont plan to eat any "differently" once I have reached my goal. Before I started exercising and losing weight, I was a "garbage eater" and I had pain in all my joints, fatigue, IBS symptoms, etc. I have learned so much about food intolerances and how they have been affecting me since I have stopped eating those things!

My problem is with my hubby, who is a wonderful man and has been so supportive of me. But, he is a naturally thin person and has a very small appetite to boot. He also has a lot of food intolerances, but doesnt listen to me when offer to help him make changes. He just continues to eat what bothers him. (Although since I have been eating healthier dinners so has he, and when he ate a mcdonalds hamburger the other day he said it tasted like crap!)

As much as I have tried to educate him he still doesnt get that this is for life. I am not trying to be a stick in the mud when I dont enjoy eating the same things he does. I have no problems with finding something to eat if we go out, etc. I will continue to go to bed early and get up early to work out, even if it means I dont stay up later to watch a movie with him sometimes.

I dont think being fun and fat is really a good trade off for being a little less fun and healthy do you???

Replies

  • CassieLEO
    CassieLEO Posts: 757 Member
    Its a big lifestyle change for the both of you guys, so you both need to just keep adjusting. He will realize you are going to keep doing what you are doing and he will come around eventually. Keep your chin up, you are doing a great job!!!
  • paledoor
    paledoor Posts: 1
    As in all other areas of life, the simple reality is this:there will be people you like, and people you don't like. There will be people who are good for you, and people who are not good for you. Sometimes, painful as it is, the people you like are not good for you, just like food and entertainment and everything else.

    The bottom line is this: you have to do, for you, what is best; if he can't, won't understand... that's his problem, it's as simple as that. If he won't listen to you, won't HEAR you, maybe it's time to take a step back and look at the rest of the relationship. Is this just one minor point of dissent? Or, from a wider viewpoint, are there other areas, other ways, in which he's being less than supportive, less than helpful? Is this a minor hangup, or a symptom of a greater problem? Maybe there are things on his mind that he's not dealing with, and the food habits are an expression thereof.

    Look luck with making things work; my girl and I are both trying to lose weight using MFP, and there are times when it's damn hard.
  • concordancia
    concordancia Posts: 5,320 Member
    It sounds to me like he is making changes, just more slowly than you.

    Nagging won't help. I told you so won't help. Both are likely to lead to tensions between the two of you.

    You can be a positive role model. As for the fun, movie nights can be adjusted to allow for am exercise and being healthy is going to be waaayyyyy more fun in the long run. You aren't being a stick in the mud when you don't want to go out for beer and nachos - you are being sexy!
  • sashaverlene
    sashaverlene Posts: 123 Member
    Well, I don't think you have to give up being or having fun. I mean, when you're more healthy, you feel like going out more. But it doesn't always have to be going to dinner. Since you'll be at a healthier weight, you won't have weight limitations for bungee jumping, sky diving, or anything awesome that has a weight requirement! :) I really hope he does eventually understand what this lifestyle changes means to you.
  • sashaverlene
    sashaverlene Posts: 123 Member
    Well, I don't think you have to give up being or having fun. I mean, when you're more healthy, you feel like going out more. But it doesn't always have to be going to dinner. Since you'll be at a healthier weight, you won't have weight limitations for bungee jumping, sky diving, or anything awesome that has a weight requirement! :) I really hope he does eventually understand what this lifestyle changes means to you.
  • epj78
    epj78 Posts: 643 Member
    Remember to compromise and think "does the difference make a difference?"

    So, if you order something at a restaurant that is healthy - does it effect your relationship? Nope, not all so that is an easy one.

    The tougher ones are if you stay up to watch a movie once in awhile. Your relationship is important too and if staying up one night and maybe missing your workout the next morning is important to your husband, I say you have to do that every once in awhile or you letting being healthy run your life vs. running your life by being healthy.

    Same goes for changing his lifestyle. He'll come around if/when he is ready. if his choices aren't effecting your relationship, you need to let them go. The decision that are effecting you are the ones to focus on.
  • Mamapengu
    Mamapengu Posts: 250
    The thing is you can't "make" him do anything. How did you feel when you were eating before and someone told you that you were not eating right? Educate by example. When he's ready, he'll make the change. You've got a great thing there, a supportive partner who is not getting in your way- don't push him away by forcing your decisions on him.
  • Ridestolive6969
    Ridestolive6969 Posts: 56
    Thanks for all the input!

    You are right, it is a big lifestyle change for both of us. I know he enjoys the changes Ive made in my appearance and energy level. We do have a great relationship and I understand too that these changes may make him feel a little insecure as well. With summer coming though I think we will do much better- I have so much more energy for hiking and getting out that I think we will have even more fun otgether than before!
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