Driving a standard car... causing me stress

keljo05
keljo05 Posts: 173
edited September 26 in Chit-Chat
let me preface this by making one thing clear.. I have NO issue learning to drive a manual transmission car. In fact I've asked many people over the years ( I'm 41.. been a lot of asking)

I'm so tired of people making a big deal about this.. I have been taught before but have never fully driven a manual car more then a few practice runs... my mother will admit she should teach no one ever again to drive.. let alone the manual part.... ( this was when I was 16.. oh the memories, lol).... my ex-fiance ( I was in my early 20's) was so encouraging that he screamed at me for doing the slightest thing wrong in a 50 foot radius where he was teaching me... over railroad tracks none the less... fast forward oh about 15 years and a friend had a manual car that was very forgiving. One shopping trip she just pulled over and said.. "ok.. your turn to drive". I managed fairly well but was only a few miles and then that was it.

now my husband has a ford focus ZX3. He can't drive it for 4-6 weeks so now its a big deal that I have to learn NOW ( just to not let it sit.. I have my own car). Not that huge of a deal as we were planning on teaching me...(have had the car a month or so now).. but I'm having a series of really bad and stressful days lately. He was a big contributor yesterday and then we had to go driving.

here's the thing.. get me going and I'm FINE. 2nd? 3rd?4th?5th?.... NO PROBLEM.. I shift smoothly and in proper time and all is good.

it's that darn starting it up that has me having anxiety. Thank heavens I work for chiropractors with the whiplash factor yesterday. Dh keeps telling me that I was doing fine and that I did better then he and his sisters did when learning. SIGH... had to explain multiple times that it was NOT the first time i've done it.

to make it better he had me drive all over creation.. but I found a place to practice starting and stopping in an empty parking lot. What good does driving around do me when that I have handled.. its' the main part of GOING that i need help with. To add to my anxiety he had me stop in a crowded parking lot outside a store and told me to just drive around... by now I was stressed and wanted to go home.

he says that he'll have me drive a little everyday including when I get home tonight... whoo hoo. I work, he doesn't and its been a long day today and I'd rather not.. but that doesn't matter and tomorrow is too late.... (yes I'm venting/ranting/whining - have to let a little steam off somewhere)...

so alllll that ( ok.. so I went longer then I needed to.. its either that or chocolate today, lol).... and my question would be...

how long will it take for me to get used to starting from 1st without stalling it multiple times.. and to actually feel confident to driving it on my own? is he right and that I will be fine by friday?.. oh and let;s just say we haven't approached hill practice yet... starting and hills (rolling) are my biggest stressors and uhmmmm... kind of important.... but he had me do little of that unless I found a place to practice... then he got bored. ugh.

Replies

  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
    Probably not what you want to do after a long day at work, but really the more you practice the easier it becomes.

    Once you get the hang of it, it's as easy as a standard.

    Good luck! :flowerforyou:
  • hooma
    hooma Posts: 124 Member
    I think you'll be fine by Friday. Just try not to stress! You WILL get the hang of it, and quickly! You'll probably stall every once in a while after you start to feel comfortable but it's not a big deal. When I was just learning to drive stick I would proudly proclaim "I only stalled X time(s)!" of even better "I didn't stall once!" Haha, just don't stress :)
  • hroush
    hroush Posts: 2,073 Member
    I love driving manuals. It's different for everybody. The big thing about starting off is to slowly release the clutch, you have to find the sweet spot (about half way) where the car will start to move, but yet not fully in gear. As the car starts to accelerate, slowly release the clutch. It also helps to give it some gas, but don't give it too much. It might help you if you stop on a downhill slope and then start again as it's a lot easier. Don't try to stop on an uphill until you're good at it (I still manage to kill my car on a steep uphill now and again :grumble: ).
  • helthymom6
    helthymom6 Posts: 77
    your best bet to learn on a manual is to teach yourself. Get the keys from hubby and take the car out yourself. there will be no added pressure. I had the same problem when i started driving a standard. My brother tried to teach me on his car. All he did was make me nervous. since I had a licence the next time he just gave me the keys and I taught myself. It took me about 1 week so maybe 4 or 5 times of going out on my own to be able to start up fine and go up hills comfortably. That would be my suggestion. Good luck.
  • Roukie
    Roukie Posts: 41 Member
    I have a manual transmission in my car and somedays I am better at it than others. The secret is finding the spot in the clutch where it doesn't jerk but is smooth. Once you find it you'll be well on your way! If your stressed it doesn't make it any easier. Take a deep breath and just go with it, beileve it or not once you've got it you will always have it, kind of like riding a bike.
  • bethvandenberg
    bethvandenberg Posts: 1,496 Member
    Ok I love standard transmission. So here's what I would suggest. Sit with the car off, practice shifting and letting out the clutch (make sure parking brake is on). You will feel a catch (so to speak) where you feel the clutch release. When you get used to where it lets out then you'll be better with the stalling thing. Also if you feel the car start to stall push the clutch back in and try again. :)

    You can do it. I love it. You could always start in 2nd too to be brutally honest as the focus is geared pretty low :)

    Have fun.
  • RatherBeInTheShire
    RatherBeInTheShire Posts: 561 Member
    Funny enough, Not even two weeks ago I bought a manual car after NEVER driving straight shift before. I had HORRIBLE anxiety for the first few days (and i'm already a VERY high strung person). I realized that from a stop when I was letting out the clutch I was also taking my foot off the gas which stalled the car EVERY time. Now that I realize give MORE gas.. I haven't stalled the car in over a week. It does get easier. It's not something you just start doing without practice. :)
  • Homer3D
    Homer3D Posts: 318
    I actually learned to drive in a manual so I have been driving a manual since I was 16 (now 36). So it is pretty much second nature to me. I am sort of feel the opposite. I get “bored” driving a automatic. You really just need to get out there an log more hours behind the wheel. You will get it at some point. And once you do, you will probably never want to drive an automatic again…haha
  • V44V
    V44V Posts: 366 Member
    I think you'll be fine pretty quick... I've only ever really driven manual cars being from the UK. I recently took a test drive and was fine after one stall, new car to me with slightly different pedal heights. You need to figure out where the bite point is of the clutch, once you've done that you'll never use the handbrake at traffic lights.

    There is nothing like deciding when you want to change gear rather than the car doing it for you!!!
  • Laceylala
    Laceylala Posts: 3,094 Member
    Driving a manual, or stickshift as us Oregonians call them, is all about feel. Which is why it can be so hard to figure out because as humans we don't want to trust our instincts when it comes to the "feel" of something like that do we?

    I remember trying to drive an OLD truck to learn to drive stickshift at 15. I didn't get my license till I was 18. How's that? Then I bought a brand new purple little Nissan truck that was manual and had to learn to drive it ASAP or I was in trouble.
    I can remember driving to work that next morning and stalling the car THREE times at a stoplight and having all these cars behind me honking. It was (not) awesome.

    On hills, if you don't have to stop, but are losing power as you go up the hill, simply downshift. If you are in 4th, quickly downshift to 3rd to get that powerboost to get up the hill. You can always downshift down the hill too if you feel you are going too fast.

    If you have to stop on a hill..just take a deep breath and do it. ALL of us stall out. Its perfectly okay. Just don't look in your mirrors or at other cars and simply focus on what you have to do. You can do it. And I think you will be fine by Friday!


    I have an automatic v8 4Runner now...the only thing that makes the fact that its automatic ok is the fact that v8 makes it fly up the hills and I rarely have to wait for it to shift itself. Other than that I much prefer a stickshift.
  • lklein
    lklein Posts: 215 Member
    I feel your pain. I've learned that being force to drive it (I had no other form of transportation) was the key. Yes I sucked at the starting part but the more I did it (by myself) the better I got at it. I think my problem was that I just relied on the other person too much, but when I was alone I had to figure it out. I would suggest going out by yourself (when it's not busy) and pratice; you'll soon be able to "feel" when it's the right time to left off the clutch and hit the gas, when to shift, etc. Good Luck!
  • Xaspar
    Xaspar Posts: 726 Member
    Well, I kinda' agree with the others who said go out on your own and learn without the added stress of others' stress. And I will offer you the same advice my brother offered me about getting through first into the rest of it... (pardon me if you feel it is a bit off-color, but it certainly worked for me)
    "Treat first gear like a virgin and ease into it with a little consideration, after that, well, do what the car tells you"
    ~Namaste
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,307 Member
    I have driven a standard since 1986 and wouldn`t have anything but.

    My guess is the problem you are having at startup is that you are being too cautious letting the clutch out.
    What I mean by this is trying to go sooooo slow that you build tension in your leg and the natural timing isn`t there.
    The start up is no different then a shift...just release the pedal smoothly and the second you feel the vehicle start to move pause for just a second and give a little throttle then just let it out all the way.

    And btw...even after all these years I will still stall out now and then. :tongue:
  • keljo05
    keljo05 Posts: 173
    thanks folks.. I really appreciate the perspectives, lol.

    I do have to give DH credit... for all the other stress he causes me... he is a very calm driving teacher. My only two complaints yesterday were the fact that I'd ask a question and he'd answer a different answer thinking I meant something else ( yeah.. thats common with him) and he also kept on me about not riding the clutch.... however had he looked at where my leg/foot were.. they were always on the floor when not changing gears.. that was the first thing my mom taught me, lol.

    now I have to go pick him up at his parents house and I really don't want to drive in the dark.. but we'll see what time it is when I get home.
  • lizzybedizzy
    lizzybedizzy Posts: 81 Member
    Steal those keys and go for a 'joyride' all by yourself!! I learnt to drive stick on an beat up old farm truck in the middle of the pasture when I was 14 and honestly it was the easiest manual to learn off of, it was only a 4 speed and it basically crept away when you let the clutch out. My 1st wheels that I owned was a manual ford tempo and let me tell you going from a truck to a car took some getting used to so I do feel your pain somewhat. Shut your brain down and feel for the point where the clutch starts to grab. if you have all the other gears figured and downshifting then it'll just take some practise. You'll get the hang of it and you'll love drivin stick. I now have an automatic and miss driving stick all the time must be the farm kid in me =)
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
    just go for a cruise by yourself, you know the fundementals...learn what works for you without having the car make scary sounds lol
  • Kellee_76
    Kellee_76 Posts: 91
    My wonderful grandmother taught me how to drive when I was 15 with a learner's permit. She had me wear my ballet slippers to learn to drive so I could really finesse the clutch and not push too much or too little. I learned in the car that would eventually be mine at 16 so I was grateful to really get to know the nuances of that particular car. The shoes (or lack thereof) really helped!
  • Ms_Natalie
    Ms_Natalie Posts: 1,030 Member
    once you bring the clutch up slowly, you'll feel the engine bite....the engine will sound different and the bonnet will lift a little. Then you have to bring the clutch up slowly while pushing down on the accelerator!

    wow....so hard to explain it on a forum!

    You'll be fine...plenty of practise and you'll be fab in no time! :flowerforyou:
  • Ocarina
    Ocarina Posts: 1,550 Member
    haha, I just got my license back after 3 years and I also had to learn a stickshift with our Ford Focus 2006 Sedan. All I can say is if you have nobody calm and encouraging to go with you then go by yourself. As long as you UNDERSTAND how its supposed to start out then you are good to go as the rest is much easier. It took me less then a week to get it down pat by driving my husband to work and going to school. The thing that got me to "figure out" going from first to second was that you are allowed to push gas while letting off the clutch. DO NOT let go of the gas and let off the clutch or your car dies. My problem was doing this as I thought it was hurting the car hitting the gas while the clutch was still in. Once I figured out I just now push the gas enough and slowly lift off the clutch and if you feel the car dying just push the clutch in!!!! It will stop the car from doing the whole stalling embarrassment!!

    Hills are super easy too but I recommend trying some that aren't so populated or until you really know for sure you won't freeze up on going into second as you kind of... roll back! lol:happy: But ya I totally and completely recommend you get to learning how to drive that manuel as its the most FUN and INVOLVING experience you'll have with a car. Plus you can drive ANY car out there especially in Europe if you know how to drive both. Most people won't go back to automatics unless they are in back to back traffic all the time which is when the automatic wins. Otherwise you get BETTER gas milage, CHEAPER maintenance, and the UPFRONT cost for a car can be a 1000 dollars different!

    Hope this helps!
  • scandalyssa
    scandalyssa Posts: 19
    I had the same problem! I hit a deer and totaled my car, so I got my dad's standard. He taught me Friday night, and made me drive the 20 minutes to work the next morning. I was completely nervous! It did take me a while to figure out when the clutch engages (no RPM gauge), but now that I know, it's not so bad. I will admit though, I do get nervous coming up on stoplights on hills. Buuut I found my way around town without hitting them! :)

    Good luck, I promise one day you'll feel like a bada** when shifting! I do hahaha
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