Rough times...venting

sethra
sethra Posts: 26 Member
edited September 26 in Motivation and Support
I've been dieting and exercising for the last 6 weeks, and a little over a week ago my husband moved out and said he wanted a divorce and all i want to do is go on a binge eating spree to cure my depression but havent yet.....just been trying to think of anything and everything i can to keep myself busy and not think about it, but its hard. I've been walking at night, and doing jillian michaels 30 day shred...still on level one, but any other suggestions to keep my mind off of things would be awesome. Thanks for letting me vent a bit

Replies

  • Shadowcasting
    Shadowcasting Posts: 124 Member
    Everyone needs to vent sometimes, and I'm sorry you're going through a rough time.

    Sometimes, its all in the perspective. That's not to say I don't understand the urge to say 'screw it' and binge, because oooooooh man I do. But....

    The old saying about being happy being the best revenge is true. Keep up what you're doing. You're taking yourself to a place you want to be and to the person you want to be! And I know getting healthier should never, ever be about someone else, IF you happen to do it for yourself and then get to rub it in his face one day, BONUS! :)
  • taraleola05
    taraleola05 Posts: 31 Member
    I'm so sorry to hear about that :( I would want to binge eat as well, but wouldn't it feel good to not do that, lose weight and say see what that A-hole missed?!!? When I'm pissed off (I'm going through so not so fun things right now as well...living and landlord wise), which has made me even more motivated to kick my *kitten* at the gym. Surround yourself with positive people and you can and will do this and get through it. I see you've already lost 12 pounds and have gone through the hard part of getting started. While this is traumatic and really sh*tty, don't let that hold you back on wanting to better yourself.
  • SassyStef
    SassyStef Posts: 413
    so sorry to hear about you situation, I am sure that is tough!! I too used to use food as my comfort....take up another hobby, or start reading any thing and every thing about healthy life styles and fitness, seems like that is going well for you. Learn to play an instrument or just keep up those walks!

    Im not sure if that is any real advice but just wanted to let you know you have support!!
  • deesdigitaldelight
    deesdigitaldelight Posts: 53 Member
    Prayers to you to help carry you through these hard times. Stay strong, it isn't easy but it will pass and you soon will begin to heal
  • snarky
    snarky Posts: 262 Member
    Wow, I don't have any good advice. I just wanted to let you know that I empathize and wish you the best during this difficult time.
  • sethra
    sethra Posts: 26 Member
    thanks and yes i am doing it for me so far ive lost 20 lbs 12 just since ive joined this site, i want to get off my diabetic meds and my bloode pressure meds, and have the added bonus of looking and feeling good, so no none of it is for him
  • ChunTingO
    ChunTingO Posts: 225 Member
    Your so strong and you are on the right track. I have learned the best revenge is to be better and let yourself be happy. You take care of you, kick, scream, punch the bags, get it all out. Get with friends talk it out, spend time with family, do everything you wanted to do but never did. You can get past this and everyone here will help you though it. Take it one day at a time.

    I hope all the best for you
  • LadyPersia
    LadyPersia Posts: 1,445 Member
    If its not for him then maybe you shed more than you thought in the last six weeks
  • a_freeman
    a_freeman Posts: 116 Member
    OK Guys perspective. If you want to get even and make him forever sorry he walked out on you, look great, feel great and live a happy life. You don't need him. You've got you
  • cbratthauer
    cbratthauer Posts: 228 Member
    Sometimes in these situations the best thing to do is to seek help through counseling. Some people are against this but I have gone to counseling for different things throughout my life and it always helps me to have somebody to vent to with outside perspective. Somebody who can help me to find ways that work for me to work through my pain and frustration. I don't know if you work or where you work but many jobs have EPA programs where your job pays for so many sessions of counseling. That would be my advice for you and I'm very sorry for what happened but just remember it is his loss!
  • Rockstar_rabbit
    Rockstar_rabbit Posts: 35
    :flowerforyou: I am sorry for your troubles but turn that depression, angry or whatever you feel into to you time now. Focus on being healthy. Want to eat, choose working out or cooking a healthy meal. Its YOU time. Enjoy yourself. I don't know what happened in your marriage, but now you have time for yourself. Hobbies or classes you wanted to take. Do it! You will be ok in time. I know cause I have been there. Take care. ~hugs~
  • Azuleelan
    Azuleelan Posts: 218
    Go to match.com!
    My husband did something like that to me and I immediately registered there, haha!! Met several interesting guys and had FUN, lol! My husband actually took it all back though... darn it!
  • Christine1110
    Christine1110 Posts: 1,786 Member
    I'm so sorry this has happened to you! .....but it's all the more reason for you to do it. Show him & everyone how strong you are!
    When your looking hot & have moved on to someone else....it will have been his loss!


    2639362.png
  • rosemarievaskiss
    rosemarievaskiss Posts: 20
    Gurrrrllll, I have been there and done that! Go workout, go buy yourself some awesome clothes to show off your new body and trust me you'll forget about that jerk off of a husband of yours, because you'll be too busy meeting new guys and making new friends. There is life after marriage. Trust me! Enjoy the fact that you can be independent away from the obligation of having to ask permission to spend money, having to pick up after him, wash his clothes, put up with his bull**** habits! It's all about you now!! Go out and do whatever you want to do, when you want and where you want, you will be back on your feet in no time!!!!!!!
    Oh and P.S. the best REVENGE is looking fabulous!!!
  • legacysh
    legacysh Posts: 464
    I am so sorry that you are going through this. For what it's worth, remember that after the binge the problem still remains....Hang in there and use all the pent up emotion and energy for something that will bring you peace not regret. A good book, a visit to a therapist for just a good long talk or cry, or a good group of friends to hang out with can do much more to move you into a good place than a binge ever will.

    :flowerforyou:
  • sethra
    sethra Posts: 26 Member
    thanks and his reasoning is he just isn't happy....he did this over a year ago and had an affair, i forgave him and let him move back home and now he just says things do not feel right here? doesnt really have a reason other than he says he wants to better himself?? zits hard trying to explain to my 9 year old that his daddy left to try and better himself without his family bc he wanted to do thing "for him" and he couldnt do that with a family (did NOT tell my child that) but he does not understand :(
  • anniebnannie
    anniebnannie Posts: 85 Member
    You are doing GREAT!! I love hearing how you are walking and doing your program. It's also wonderful that you are TALKING about what you are feeling (binging on goodies, etc.). The only thing that came to mind was if you had something you could say to yourself when the sadness and anxiety pops up. For me I say "I'M OVER THAT" and I say it as many times as I need to until the feeling passes.... and that's the cool part - it always passes - cuz it's just a thought and a feeling that follows the thought :-) Keep doing what you are doing - a much BETTER GUY will come along you'll see!!!!
  • justsummie
    justsummie Posts: 320 Member
    Sorry you are going through this.

    Allow yourself some time to grieve but also remember they say the best revenge is living well. I would take this time to start bettering yourself in every possible arena (physical, spiritual, emotional, social, intellectual). That way if the two of you do reconcile you will be in an even better place than you were before and if you don't get back together you will have already turned the first page in the next chapter in your life....plus it helps keep your mind busy.

    Best of luck. ((hugs))
  • a_reyes9288
    a_reyes9288 Posts: 36
    I know how you feel, I'm not in the same predicament as you, but I have had a rough last couple of days and today has sent me through the roof!

    I literally stood in front of my fridge for 20 mins staring at a rack of BBQ ribs my mom left in there and contemplated chowing down, but I stopped myself and had a healthy snack instead.

    As everyone else has said, try to keep yourself busy, I log onto MFP daily not only to track my exercise and food, but to keep myself occupied. They say that "Idle hands are the devil's playground" and in our case that playground is junk food.

    Whenever I feel the urge to eat junky food I stop myself and begin to dread having to log it into my food diary and that usually stops me.

    I hope all works out for you and DO NOT let any of this deter you from your goal!! =)
  • sethra
    sethra Posts: 26 Member
    I've been looking to friends but most of them want to go eat out or something when we get together and that doesnt help much with my dieting either...figured venting to a bunch of strangers would help
  • a_freeman
    a_freeman Posts: 116 Member
    thanks and his reasoning is he just isn't happy....he did this over a year ago and had an affair, i forgave him and let him move back home and now he just says things do not feel right here? doesnt really have a reason other than he says he wants to better himself?? zits hard trying to explain to my 9 year old that his daddy left to try and better himself without his family bc he wanted to do thing "for him" and he couldnt do that with a family (did NOT tell my child that) but he does not understand :(
  • sethra
    sethra Posts: 26 Member
    i guess i should proofread before replying didnt realize i had so many typos there
  • a_freeman
    a_freeman Posts: 116 Member
    My Dad did the same thing when I was 15. He's been through 3 more wives since. The odds are against him ever being satisfied. As my Dad got older, he realized he had what he really wanted and he gave it up. You can't get back lost years. I'm a little sad for you husband. He's made bad choices that sameday he will regret
  • Peschuntz
    Peschuntz Posts: 270 Member
    I think everyone's mettle is tested from time to time. Almost everyone here would probably be feeling much like you described. Surround yourself with a good support network, think about counseling if you are overwhelmed and if you are able, work out your anger and depression with exercise. Your success is the best revenge.
  • snickerpants
    snickerpants Posts: 44 Member
    Bad news! Good for you for turning to MFP instead of binging. I hope you find some solace in the fact that the people here support you completely!
  • shreddingit
    shreddingit Posts: 1,133 Member
    keep shredding!! those guns will make you feel stronger and independent!!.....good for you for not binging
  • LaineyLuvsChad
    LaineyLuvsChad Posts: 6
    OK Guys perspective. If you want to get even and make him forever sorry he walked out on you, look great, feel great and live a happy life. You don't need him. You've got you




    LIKE!!
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