How did this happen?! .. Do you ever wonder?

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mamabear0222
mamabear0222 Posts: 455 Member
in Motivation and Support
Today is only my 2nd day .. but I woke up yesterday with what felt like an epiphany - "today's the day I want to change my life!"
Ive always thought about it, just never actually done it .

I have 2 small children at home and for the past 5 yrs my focus was on trying to get pregnant and staying pregnant, and then when I finally had my babies, taking care of them.

Now after all my fertility struggles, I realize I need to take care of ME too ...

But here I am on day 2 and today I sit and wonder, how did this happen to me? How did I get to the point that I didnt care about myself anymore and now I need to work my butt off (literally) and lose over 100lbs to become "healthy?!"

I dont want this for my children, I want healthy to be the "norm" for them. My dad was overweight his entire life and I watched him struggle - I dont want my children to see this.. he ultimately passed away (too young), and while he was sick, he said to me, "please lose weight, dont be like me."

Here I am, 10 yrs later just starting my journey ... but it makes me sad to think how I did this to myself ... Ive never even TRIED before, never been on a fad diet, and never worked out! .. I guess I was afraid of failing ..

Replies

  • dls06
    dls06 Posts: 6,774 Member
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    Don't beat yourself up. You have made a decision to get healthy. Just think how your decision will help you and your family.
    Look ahead, it never helps to look back. I wish you all the luck in the world and remember all you have to do is log on and everyone will be here for you.
  • Angela4Health
    Angela4Health Posts: 1,319 Member
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    What matters is that you are here now. Look to the future! You can do this! Good luck on your weigh loss journey and just remember to take it slowly and keep your goals in mind! Add lots of friends for motivation and support. By the way, I love how you have the Berenenstein Bears picture. I read the night time book to my son every night.
  • tallen3687
    tallen3687 Posts: 244 Member
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    You are doing it now! Congrats! This is a great site to help encourage and motivate you. Good Luck
  • Ashia1317
    Ashia1317 Posts: 415
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    First off - I have to say I LOVE your pic!! Mama bear!! :smile:

    I think we all end up that way some how. I'm getting closer to 30, and while I'm young, I know, I'm not as young as I used to be. I don't feel thirty, but my body is telling me I'm no longer a teen. I can no longer just sit in front of the tv and not gain an ounce. I no longer have energy just because I woke up the next morning. I need to work out. I need healthy foods.

    And just like your family, parts of my family are the same - they have struggled with their weight all their lives. Some try and control it, other have given up. Watching the others give up breaks my heart. It has turned my life around because I don't want to give up. I don't want to be them. I don't believe in some magic pill that will keep me living until all my organs finally shut down.

    I look back at my mom trying to make healthy and healthy foods the "norm". I wish I would have listened more.

    Just remember it's never too late to change something! Be proud of where you are right now. Many adventures, roads, and obstacles have gotten us all where we are today. Some good. Some bad. Failure is never a bad thing if we keep trying. I've been at this for 3 years now failing at certain methods, succeeding at others. I think your epiphany is awesome and I wish you lots of luck!!!
  • Mtsidad
    Mtsidad Posts: 242 Member
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    The deciding is the hardest part - not the thinking, and not even the diet & exercise. You took the biggest step by making a choice.

    We're here to help support you with your choice. Hang in there.
  • K1Teacher
    K1Teacher Posts: 324 Member
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    Welcome! :flowerforyou:

    I'm not sure how it happened to me either...I understand completely. There's so much support here on MFP - just jump in and start making it happen - you can do it!!

    Start gathering friends, too! They help motivate me and keep me accountable every day. I'll send you a friend request.

    ~Shanna
  • brenda52165
    brenda52165 Posts: 1
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    Mamabear,
    I am so proud of you. Like others have said, making the decision is the first step. Losing weight is a very mental process, you have to have the "come hell or high water" mentality. I want you to remember something, take this a day at a time, it will not be easy and you will have bad days and days you will feel you completely failed. Don't worry, pick yourself up and start again. Don't ever give up. Put up a picture of your father and your children on your refrigerator. You are taking care of yourself to give your children a future. I wish you the best!
  • wannabefree
    wannabefree Posts: 32 Member
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    Don't dwell on the past. What's done is done. Focus on today. Today I will make good choices. Don't think about the total amount of weight you have to lose because it may discourage you. Just put one foot in front of the other and make good choices everyday and it will happen. If you fall down, pick yourself right back up and keep going don't give up!!
  • mamabear0222
    mamabear0222 Posts: 455 Member
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    thank you all, it's nice to know Im not alone!!!
    my first mini goal is 10lbs! Im not looking at the big picture at all, my main goal is eat better and to get my butt in gear and MOVE!!!!
    Im curious to know if I'll stick with it ... at this point Im determined!

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