fiance falling off wagon, bringing me with him.

jessimacar
jessimacar Posts: 291
edited September 26 in Motivation and Support
so my fiance started using mfp the same time i did. he lost a ton of weight quickly, and has reached a place where he is comfortable until we can afford some workout equipment/gym membership so he can get toned. since reaching this comfortable state, he has stopped logging his food, stopped using the site, and stopped watching what he eats. now i can't get back my motivation to keep going. it was easy (sorta) when we were doing it together, but now i have to do it alone (IRL that is). and on top of that, i can tell he is slowly gaining the weight back.. which i know he wouldn't want, but he seems not to notice.

how do i ask him to eat healthy for himself and me without seeming selfish, or telling him i think he's gaining some weight back?

Replies

  • WolffEarl
    WolffEarl Posts: 379 Member
    Well, speaking as a guy:) Most of us, in spite of being reasonably intelligent, don't do subtle so well. I.e. tell it to him straight, nicely but straight. He may huff and he may puff but he will remember:) (At least this is how it works with my wife:) You will know you have informed him, he does not need to be a mind reader and he may not say it, but later think how he appreciates this.
    Plus good eating is not a matter of weight loss, it is a matter of staying healthy for life. That does not have an expiration date or weight limit on it.
  • SimplyDeLish
    SimplyDeLish Posts: 539
    maybe honesty is the best policy here..... Remind him that MFP isn't just a weight loss site - it's a healthy lifestyle site. You both want to be healthy for a long time. Good luck!
  • hroderick
    hroderick Posts: 756 Member
    Do you cook his food yet?
    If so cook healthy and prepare portions.

    If you really plan to marry, then there should be no subject you're uncomfortable bringing up.
    Ask him to at least weigh in weekly.
  • jspaulding01
    jspaulding01 Posts: 11 Member
    Hi! I do this alone too! My husband fortunately for him doesn't need to watch his diet to much. We can become "friends" ! Keep an eye out to see how each other are doing....I am almost at goal...Did WW for the longest time..lost about 15 pounds and needed a change. Join this site about a month ago. Doing OK.


    JSpaulding


    5031490.png
    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter
  • thisistotallysarah
    thisistotallysarah Posts: 21
    A.) Just tell him that you think he's gotten comfortable and that he's stopped and you're disappointed in him, etc.. and yeah he's your fiance so there shouldn't be any holding back really. tell him to weigh in with you and he'll see hes gained weight.

    OR

    B.) Just go it alone. Honestly, it's not that hard or that bad really. He will see that you've stuck with your commitment to be healthy and lose some weight and maybe he'll jump back on it by seeing you do so well.

    My boyfriend is tall and thin and naturally athletic so I am always going to have to go it alone hahaha but thats whats great about MFP--- you're never really "alone" because we're all here and we're all in it together. Hope this helps!
  • thisistotallysarah
    thisistotallysarah Posts: 21
    Hi! I do this alone too! My husband fortunately for him doesn't need to watch his diet to much. We can become "friends" ! Keep an eye out to see how each other are doing....I am almost at goal...Did WW for the longest time..lost about 15 pounds and needed a change. Join this site about a month ago. Doing OK.


    JSpaulding


    5031490.png
    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter

    I have done WW too and i think this site is just as effective and free. I realized I spent alot of money at WW which wasn't really necessary, ya know?
  • WifeMomDVM
    WifeMomDVM Posts: 1,025 Member
    I do it alone also. I pester my DH all the time to join in. I do cook healthy for him but his soda drinking habit when he's not at home drives me crazy! Well, no man is perfect, I guess.

    As others have said, look lovingly into his eyes - tell him you love him and lay your concerns on the table. That you want a long, happy life together and for him to be around a long time and you'd love to see him take care of himself so you can be together for many years to come.

    My husband is sort of trying to be healthier because I am. I can only hope it keeps sticking. Plus, if you use the site, you're never truly alone. You have all of US RIGHT HERE!!!!!

    Take control of your life and your health in your own hands. You have to take care of you for you!
  • annacataldo
    annacataldo Posts: 872 Member
    Using someones elses life as an excuse to fall off the wagon won't help u stay on wagon...my bf eats fried foods, greasy foods, chips non stop, full calorie beer and pop, etc etc all in front of me...that doesn't mean I have to too.. if he gains back he will see it for himself and when he complains ask him y he stopped using mfp, a site that helps someone maintain their weight...he will learn...u could also do more activities together...hiking, walking, shopping, gardening, biking, etc that will keep him active and hopefully burn enough cal
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