Big girls aren't supposed to..
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Noctuary
Posts: 255
I wrote this years ago and a blog reminded me of this. I hope you enjoy it and get some motivation.
Big girls aren't supposed to.
It's a statement that lives behind so many prejudices. It's a statement that tries to control my life. Tries to tell me how I am supposed to live because I am a big girl. There are so many rules we aren't supposed to do.
Food is a big taboo for a big girl. We are not supposed to eat a piece of cake while walking down the mall. We are not supposed to order a hamburger with everything on it. 'Dear Gawd! Is she going to eat that whole thing?!" And we are not supposed to order a fruit salad with an ice tea hold the sugar. "Dear Gawd! Are you telling me that's all she's going to eat? Yeah, right!". We aren't supposed to eat healthy. We aren't supposed to eat bad food. Hell, we are not supposed to eat in public and make other people uncomfortable because WE LIKE FOOD! We must thoroughly be punished for enjoying food. It's got to be some kind of law. What we are supposed to do is order through the drive through. Take it home. Eat it in our rooms. Alone. And feel bad.
Clothing. Big girls are supposed to wear black. And it better cover your neck to your toes. It better look like a burka. It better not be sexy. Big girls are supposed to wear big underwear. We aren't supposed to wear thongs that NO ONE will see but will make us feel girly. We aren't supposed to wear pretty bras. Hell, we aren't supposed to show our chubby arms. We aren't supposed to wear short skirts that show our ample thighs. We aren't supposed to like shopping. We aren't' supposed to wear tight clothes that fit us. Or wear high heels. How can those heels hold ALL THAT WEIGHT?! Because you know we weigh more than a house. And I haven't heard of house heels. We aren't supposed to even wear brand names. We aren't supposed to wear Baby Phat or Apple Bottom jeans. Though the designers make them for our size now. Big girls aren't supposed to wear the same clothes thin girls wear, just in our size.
Sex. Well now there are tons of contradictory laws of suppose that happen in this section. First, we aren't supposed to have sex at all. We are too fat. We stink. We don't groom well. We can't enjoy sex. But……big girls are sluts. We are easy to get into bed. We sleep with anyone who will look at us because we have no self esteem. Oh yeah. Because being thin gives a woman self esteem? Can I direct you towards the stripper esteem? It's right over there under the pile of crap. It's probably worse than a big girls to be honest. Big girls aren't supposed to say no to anyone. Big girls aren't supposed to be choosy about what goes into their bodies. I mean they eat so hell, they just have to be a slut! Big girls aren't supposed to want sex. With the lights ON. Standing buck naked with only platform heels on and her big, wide smile. She is supposed to run under the covers and close her eyes. But be slutty enough to do it under the covers with her eyes closed with apparently every guy. Big girls are supposed to lie back in that one position. They aren't supposed to be agile. Or get on top. Big girls are supposed to not have sex but secretly be having sex with everyone.
Body image. Big girls aren't supposed to like looking at themselves. And they better not be saying out loud how good they look! They are supposed to always want to cover up and hide. They aren't supposed to think they are sexy. Or that they turn you down. Big girls are supposed to like big boys. We don't. We like skinny boys. The same way skinny boys don't all like skinny girls. We aren't supposed to have nice hair dos. Or paint our nails and toe nails pink. We aren't supposed to wear red lipstick. We aren't supposed to say you are right. I do look HAWT! We aren't supposed to take pictures of ourselves looking hot. We are accused of just showing our faces online so no one knows we are fat. But skinny girls do the same close ups and it's ok. It's ARTISTIC. Big girls aren't supposed to like their bodies and be comfortable in it. We are supposed to look at skinny women and attempt suicide. Because we know thin means worthy and happy. Right?
Attitude. Big girls aren't supposed to be the life of the party. Unless we are cracking jokes. Then all is ok. Because big girls are supposed to be funny. Big girls are jolly. They are the cheerleaders for the skinny girls. They aren't supposed to be deep. Or interesting. Or complex. Or outgoing. Or aggressive. Or beautiful. Or mesmerizing. Or wanted. Or desired. Or just beautiful.
I guess I missed all those supposed to rules.
Big girls aren't supposed to.
It's a statement that lives behind so many prejudices. It's a statement that tries to control my life. Tries to tell me how I am supposed to live because I am a big girl. There are so many rules we aren't supposed to do.
Food is a big taboo for a big girl. We are not supposed to eat a piece of cake while walking down the mall. We are not supposed to order a hamburger with everything on it. 'Dear Gawd! Is she going to eat that whole thing?!" And we are not supposed to order a fruit salad with an ice tea hold the sugar. "Dear Gawd! Are you telling me that's all she's going to eat? Yeah, right!". We aren't supposed to eat healthy. We aren't supposed to eat bad food. Hell, we are not supposed to eat in public and make other people uncomfortable because WE LIKE FOOD! We must thoroughly be punished for enjoying food. It's got to be some kind of law. What we are supposed to do is order through the drive through. Take it home. Eat it in our rooms. Alone. And feel bad.
Clothing. Big girls are supposed to wear black. And it better cover your neck to your toes. It better look like a burka. It better not be sexy. Big girls are supposed to wear big underwear. We aren't supposed to wear thongs that NO ONE will see but will make us feel girly. We aren't supposed to wear pretty bras. Hell, we aren't supposed to show our chubby arms. We aren't supposed to wear short skirts that show our ample thighs. We aren't supposed to like shopping. We aren't' supposed to wear tight clothes that fit us. Or wear high heels. How can those heels hold ALL THAT WEIGHT?! Because you know we weigh more than a house. And I haven't heard of house heels. We aren't supposed to even wear brand names. We aren't supposed to wear Baby Phat or Apple Bottom jeans. Though the designers make them for our size now. Big girls aren't supposed to wear the same clothes thin girls wear, just in our size.
Sex. Well now there are tons of contradictory laws of suppose that happen in this section. First, we aren't supposed to have sex at all. We are too fat. We stink. We don't groom well. We can't enjoy sex. But……big girls are sluts. We are easy to get into bed. We sleep with anyone who will look at us because we have no self esteem. Oh yeah. Because being thin gives a woman self esteem? Can I direct you towards the stripper esteem? It's right over there under the pile of crap. It's probably worse than a big girls to be honest. Big girls aren't supposed to say no to anyone. Big girls aren't supposed to be choosy about what goes into their bodies. I mean they eat so hell, they just have to be a slut! Big girls aren't supposed to want sex. With the lights ON. Standing buck naked with only platform heels on and her big, wide smile. She is supposed to run under the covers and close her eyes. But be slutty enough to do it under the covers with her eyes closed with apparently every guy. Big girls are supposed to lie back in that one position. They aren't supposed to be agile. Or get on top. Big girls are supposed to not have sex but secretly be having sex with everyone.
Body image. Big girls aren't supposed to like looking at themselves. And they better not be saying out loud how good they look! They are supposed to always want to cover up and hide. They aren't supposed to think they are sexy. Or that they turn you down. Big girls are supposed to like big boys. We don't. We like skinny boys. The same way skinny boys don't all like skinny girls. We aren't supposed to have nice hair dos. Or paint our nails and toe nails pink. We aren't supposed to wear red lipstick. We aren't supposed to say you are right. I do look HAWT! We aren't supposed to take pictures of ourselves looking hot. We are accused of just showing our faces online so no one knows we are fat. But skinny girls do the same close ups and it's ok. It's ARTISTIC. Big girls aren't supposed to like their bodies and be comfortable in it. We are supposed to look at skinny women and attempt suicide. Because we know thin means worthy and happy. Right?
Attitude. Big girls aren't supposed to be the life of the party. Unless we are cracking jokes. Then all is ok. Because big girls are supposed to be funny. Big girls are jolly. They are the cheerleaders for the skinny girls. They aren't supposed to be deep. Or interesting. Or complex. Or outgoing. Or aggressive. Or beautiful. Or mesmerizing. Or wanted. Or desired. Or just beautiful.
I guess I missed all those supposed to rules.
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Replies
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Thank you for sharing!
)
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Looks like I missed a few of those rules also :laugh:0
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wow thanks for this.......and as an over weight woman~ oh how i have heard most of these lol0
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Wonderful piece of writing! And so true. Thanks for sharing.0
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I loved this. Thank you so much for posting it! You rock on with your sexy self!0
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I loved reading this too, thanks. I need to learn to f**k off the sposed to's 0
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I have broken some of the rules as well! But have felt like I needed to keep some of them too!! I did find myself laughing through out it because so much of it is true especially the self-esteem issues, the pictures, wearing black, and covering every inch up, oh and eating in public!! Even after losing 46 pounds and weighing less than 200lbs. I feel like I can't eat in public or around my husbands family! Prime example, I was a few weeks in and we went over to eat at their house which we do every other sunday. Well my husband and I had eaten at Olive Garden the night before and even though I was under my calories I still felt so guilty. So when we went to eat I took my own food. (yogurt, fiber one bar, muffin, and fruit-one meal and I usually have at least 3 a day) Well his mother only saw me eat the yogurt. Later that week he had to go over for something and she freaked out to him how a 100calorie yogurt isn't enough for me to eat for the whole day, now this is the woman who also told me I needed to go have my thyroid checked because of how much weight I was gaining. His father also went into my mom's work and talked to her about it and how I need to eat and not starve myself. Yet everytime I go over and eat "their food" I feel like I'm being judged for how much or what I'm eating. Oh and I am never asked if I want dessert. Its kinda fustrating to me especially since their daughter has also been losing weight and lost around 17 pounds in about the same amout of time, but they make it seem like she's lost a million and is the only one to have ever lost weight. Anyways I'll quit venting!! I just find your post true in so many ways and how so many of these rules are how bigger girls feel or think they need to be, when in fact we are just as pretty and in alot of cases prettier than alot of the skinny, thin girls. Thanks for posting this-sorry for my rant:)0
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I'm glad you guys enjoyed it!0
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No sex? Surely we should have LOADS of it, given how many calories it burns! Muahahahaaa!
ETA: I've just realised I have both a headshot as my avatar, AND red lipstick...and green hair! I am soooo doomed! :laugh: I do wear a lot of black though, but that's just my aesthetic - not because I am weighty!0 -
Guess I missed some of those "supposed to's" as well :laugh: I wear a lot of black but that's nothing to do with my weight, I wore even more black when I was slim, a lot of the clothes I have that I want to get back into aren't available in the size I am now.0
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I think many "big girls" feel that way themselves, but I actually think it's their own paranoia. I don't think other people are looking on and judging, really. I just don't think people are that observant, much as we would love them to notice us. I never assume anyone sees me at all.0
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This is great!!! I wish more big girls would realize that you should be who you really and not bow down to what society says is right! I also have to throw in there, that society thinks that men would never want to see a big girl in lingerie! One of my favorite memories is my husband getting very angry and loud in a well known department store because they had nothing cute and sexy over size large. It was awesome!0
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This piece of writing is more beautiful than you know. Too often we find big girls desperate to lose weight so that they can feel better about themselves....so they can DO all the things their not "supposed" to as you so eloquently wrote. But why shouldn't you feel good about yourself the way you are! Be proud of yourself the way you are! DO the things you're not supposed to! Keep on your weight loss journey to be a healthier happier you but DON'T do it just because you want to be able to do the things a big girl isn't "supposed to". Own your beauty no matter what size you are and Do it for you. Love this! Thank You!0
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Amazing blog. Love love love it. 0
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I absolutely love this!0
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