Some advice please

Nonibug · November 2008

I need some advice for my 13 yr old son (14 in Jan). He's 5'11" and I took him to the Dr Wednesday and he weighs 267lbs!:noway: I couldnt believe it when the nurse said it aloud to write it in his chart...I said what did you say? 197? She said no, I said 267. I swear I questioned her twice more because I just couldnt believe it. Basically my shock comes from the fact that he doesnt look "fat" to me. Hes very tall and solid and doesnt have a belly pooching out from his shirts or anything like that and Ive never seen him (and still dont) as fat. Anyway, she ordered a bunch of blood tests (which he and I are both having done tomorrow morning) and wants to see him back in 1 month and said she wants to see some weight gone by then. Well, my son is all for it and ready to start exercising with me (hes been my biggest supporter since I began my new lifestyle of living healthy almost 8 weeks ago).

Ok, now just to fair and honest with myself, I have to tell you that when he had his bloodwork done a year ago, he had a pretty high triglyceride level (it was 193) and she said he was "kind of borderline for juvenile diabetes" (Im pretty sure thats what she called it). So, Ive been trying really hard to get his levels down which I have to say hasnt been extremely hard because he LOVES healthy food. He doesnt like meat very much at all, loves chicken and fish, veggies, fruits, yogurt, etc.

The first big obstacle Im facing with him is getting him to drink water. He "hates" water, says he doesnt like the TASTE lol. So, he basically lives on kool-aid (which I do make, but only put in half the sugar it calls for) and he will ask for an ocassional diet pepsi with dinner. Im wondering if I buy those crystal light packets for his water and actually get him to drink that instead of kool-aid, is that good enough? I very highly doubt I will get him to drink just plain water (which is what I would prefer he drink...but what do I know, Im just MOM lol).

The next thing Im having problems with is getting him active. This boy spends 90% of his time in his room when he comes in from school and Im not exaggerating! lol. He will come out only to eat dinner and then hes right back to his room. In there, he plays his xbox, plays an online game on his laptop, or watches tv. He has said that he will start taking walks with me in the evenings and thats great, but I think it wont last for him. He will get bored with that pretty quickly, Im sure. So, Im trying to come up with things like tomorrow if it isnt to cold out or raining, I want to go to the park and play a little one-on-one basketball with him....or drive down to Lake Michigan another day and take a walk by the water...maybe go walking around the zoo another day...anything just to get him out of his room and active for at least an hour or so a day. So, any suggestions on how to entertain a teenager while keeping him active?lol

I know this is kind of long lol and I apologize:blushing: but it was quite a shock to me to see his weight, and Im dreading seeing the results of his bloodwork for fear that his levels are still high

Any input at all at this point would be greatly appreciated

Thanks for listening!:flowerforyou:

~Roni

Nonibug · November 2008

I need some advice for my 13 yr old son (14 in Jan). He's 5'11" and I took him to the Dr Wednesday and he weighs 267lbs!:noway: I couldnt believe it when the nurse said it aloud to write it in his chart...I said what did you say? 197? She said no, I said 267. I swear I questioned her twice more because I just couldnt believe it. Basically my shock comes from the fact that he doesnt look "fat" to me. Hes very tall and solid and doesnt have a belly pooching out from his shirts or anything like that and Ive never seen him (and still dont) as fat. Anyway, she ordered a bunch of blood tests (which he and I are both having done tomorrow morning) and wants to see him back in 1 month and said she wants to see some weight gone by then. Well, my son is all for it and ready to start exercising with me (hes been my biggest supporter since I began my new lifestyle of living healthy almost 8 weeks ago).

Ok, now just to fair and honest with myself, I have to tell you that when he had his bloodwork done a year ago, he had a pretty high triglyceride level (it was 193) and she said he was "kind of borderline for juvenile diabetes" (Im pretty sure thats what she called it). So, Ive been trying really hard to get his levels down which I have to say hasnt been extremely hard because he LOVES healthy food. He doesnt like meat very much at all, loves chicken and fish, veggies, fruits, yogurt, etc.

The first big obstacle Im facing with him is getting him to drink water. He "hates" water, says he doesnt like the TASTE lol. So, he basically lives on kool-aid (which I do make, but only put in half the sugar it calls for) and he will ask for an ocassional diet pepsi with dinner. Im wondering if I buy those crystal light packets for his water and actually get him to drink that instead of kool-aid, is that good enough? I very highly doubt I will get him to drink just plain water (which is what I would prefer he drink...but what do I know, Im just MOM lol).

The next thing Im having problems with is getting him active. This boy spends 90% of his time in his room when he comes in from school and Im not exaggerating! lol. He will come out only to eat dinner and then hes right back to his room. In there, he plays his xbox, plays an online game on his laptop, or watches tv. He has said that he will start taking walks with me in the evenings and thats great, but I think it wont last for him. He will get bored with that pretty quickly, Im sure. So, Im trying to come up with things like tomorrow if it isnt to cold out or raining, I want to go to the park and play a little one-on-one basketball with him....or drive down to Lake Michigan another day and take a walk by the water...maybe go walking around the zoo another day...anything just to get him out of his room and active for at least an hour or so a day. So, any suggestions on how to entertain a teenager while keeping him active?lol

I know this is kind of long lol and I apologize:blushing: but it was quite a shock to me to see his weight, and Im dreading seeing the results of his bloodwork for fear that his levels are still high

Any input at all at this point would be greatly appreciated

Thanks for listening!:flowerforyou:

~Roni

lsalazarii · November 2008

I don't have alot of advice... except that Kool-aid does make a sugar free mix which is what my kids always drank.... they said you couldn't tell the difference... that may be one thing that will help with the water and no sugar.

Phoenix_Rising · November 2008

At least you recognize the problem and want to fix it.
Get him involved. At almost 14, he is old enough to do this himself with guidance and help from you.
He probably wants to change his weight but doesn't know how. That is where you come in.

Is there a local gym or YMCA that you can join? My dad and brother use to play basketball at the gym while my mom went to the exercise machines.

He's got an email -- sign him up for an account to track food and calories. I'm not saying to use this site to base his caloric intake on, but the doctors can give you those numbers. Use this site for the food logging feature. He can log his food. Those daily food journals can be printed and taken in for viewing by the doc, if need be.

You gotta get him on track now, but in my opinion, the MOST important thing is to TEACH HIM how to eat and exercise in a healthy way. He's 14... he MUST learn how to do this on his own so that in 4 more years when he moves on with his life, he will still be able to take care of himself.

BTW, you are a wonderful mom.

EDIT: Also, Walmart and Wylers make knock-off Kool Aid drink sticks (for water bottles). Taste great, dozens of flavors, little to no calories. They also make these in large tubs for 2 quart mixing at home. We keep a constant supply of that "Kool Aid" at the house for dinner.

In my opinion, one diet soda a day won't make a difference to the kid as long as he is taking in plenty of water (or water based drinks.... kool aid, gatorade, tea).

Angiebangie · November 2008

Water advice only, there are so many flavored waters out there, and they are very tasty!

swermund · November 2008

We drink the sugar free koolaid at our house and it's really good! I think you would be surprised. I would also recommend looking into weight lifting for him... I think a boy that age would really enjoy that.

titans6us · November 2008

Wow...the first thing I would suggest, as a coach and a teacher, is to get him involved in after-school sport. He may not like it at the beginning, but he will eventually. During this time of year, I would try basketball first because of his height. He is tall for his age and he should experience some success right away. Secondly, I would maybe talk to the doctor about possible depression. In my experience, kids who spend a lot of time in their rooms and don't socialize much with the family and gain a lot of weight, may be suffering with depression. Again, I am not a doctor and I do not know your son, but these are just suggestions.

Good luck!

jgates426 · November 2008

Any sugar-free drink is a better alternative than kool-aid with sugar (plain water or not). I would suggest for more lasting results that you guys set goals for each week and only work on one change at a time. Maybe switching drinks first week, adding activity the next or even switch every 2 weeks. You need to go slow and make changes that are livable.

I would also suggest for activity something he would enjoy. This could be an outdoor activity or dance-dance or other video game that requires activity. It will probably work best if he thinks he is doing it to help you or doing something fun with friends.

It would probably help him to set up his own myfitnesspal acct with his own goals and see what food and activity are going in and logging regular.

Anyways, hope some of this might help

age1389 · November 2008

Is he interested in any kind of sports? He can maybe join something at his school. How about an after school program he can join? Maybe get him an exercise video game he can use on his xbox.
As for the water problem how about non sweetened tea or like someone else said flavored water or maybe flavored seltzer water.
Good luck:flowerforyou:

-Adrienne

MollySue30 · November 2008

Okay first of all I would probably limit the time that he is in the bedroom, I would probably move the xbox out to the family room or somewhere that woud guys could spend time together. I would maybe see about getting the wii fit for him, I have two girls that are almost 10 and 5 and I worry about both of them in the weight department. I try to keep them as active as I can. We usually play the wii fit and a few other games so that we are staying active and still spending time together.

I would see if maybe one night go bowling it is a good exercise too, see about maybe joining a league just you and him so that you can spend time together. I would totally stop the kool-aid, even though they do make sugar free but I would try some flavored water or anything else. Both my girls love water that is pretty much what they drink. Maybe start to see if he would drink at least 1 cup a day for a while and then see if you can increase it.

I wish you all the best of luck with him. Keep us posted.

Molly

Nonibug · November 2008

Wow! Thanks guys for alot of great advice and suggestions:flowerforyou:

I will definately start making the knock-off "kool-aid" to start cutting the sugar intake out of his diet some. I have already began keeping the house stocked with healthier snacks for him, thanks to my lifestyle changes Ive been making, and he eats the same things as me in that area. Loves the healthy snacks in fact.

jgates-you actually probably hit the nail on the head with the comment about "if he thinks hes helping me" bacause as I said he is my biggest supporter and very protective of his Mom:blushing: So that is something that could actually work.

titans6us-Thank you for your very honest opinion! He has actually told me that he wants to play football and I have to admit that me being the "cautious" Mom that I am, I was afraid to let him. Not afraid of the sport itself, but afraid that it would be to strenuous on him (I was pretty freaked out at the time and probably a bit over-protective because of the high levels that had just come back on his bloodwork). Im thinking now that in my desire to "protect" him, I actually may have done him more harm. But I will change that within myself! As long as the Dr gives an ok, I will make myself be Ok with it as well lol.

Lauryn-Yes, we do have a gym right up the street that is actually pretty reasonably priced, and the first thing he said to me when the Dr said she wanted to see some weight come off by the time she sees him again in a month was that he wanted to join the gym! And, I know that he does want to change his weight, he is very self-conscious about his body and keeps it pretty covered. What I mean by that is for example, he wont go without a shirt in front of anyone. Not even to swim. He has to wear a t-shirt with his swimming trunks or he will NOT go in the water. And thank you for telling me I am a wonderful Mom:flowerforyou: He truly is my heart! Hes my "baby" lol, my oldest son left for college back in Aug and I took it pretty hard lol.

swermund-I just bought him a set of weights

Great minds think alike! lol

Thank you all again for such helpful ideas and advice!:flowerforyou:

Nonibug · November 2008

Thats a great idea Molly, thank you!:flowerforyou:

Adrienne-Thank you:flowerforyou:

Nonibug · November 2008

BTW, if you look at my pics in my profile, he is the one with the darkest hair (shown in pics with his older brother that just graduated high school....his brother is 6' so you can see how tall Alex is) and all those pics were just taken in May...he just doesnt look 267lbs to me...? But I weighed him again when we got home from the Dr and it IS right.

meg0112 · November 2008

Get him involved in something, most definately. I don't have any expert or medical advice, but my younger cousin went through something similar for about a year. he was 5'8" and 250lbs. at age 14. He did look "fat" but was a healthy kid as far as eating goes. He picked back up rec basketball and that helped, but not a whole lot. Then one day woke up the exact same weight and 6'2". He just shot up, so maybe your son isn't finished growing. But I think you are approaching this right, pay attention to those blood tests and his sugar consumption and try to get him active. Maybe yall can take walks together or something. Sounds like your son is luck to have such a caring mom

Don't stress!

Becka_Boo_2008 · November 2008

Hello. I'm glad you and your son support each other

It's good to know that moms like you still exists :flowerforyou: I would highly reccomend the crystal lite knock-off at Walmart. It's made by Great Value. Pink lemonade is my personal favorite. My husband is not crazy about the stuff but my sisters and their kids enjoy it. Maybe your son will too. As far as activity goes, there's the idea of purchasing a Wii for him (possibly as a Christmas gift) so that he can "actively" play video games. You might even enjoy playing it yourself. In fact, you can have contests with him and it would be great quality time. That way everybody wins and he will be playing what he enjoys (video games) while remaining active on his feet.

Another option is "Xrtainment Zone". It is a new fitness, wellness center and gym using exergames, exergaming and exertainment that turns video and computer games into fun and entertaining exercise. Kids, families, parents, seniors and kids of all ages can now exercise and have fun. There motto is "Where working out is all play" I don't know if there is one in your area. Check out their website at: http://www.xrtainmentzone.com/

Wish you the best
~Rebecca:drinker:

Poison5119 · November 2008

OH GIRL! if the boy wants to play football, by all means, he will drop that weight in NO TIME. Try to find a (for lack of a better word)non-competition league, as some of the more 'formal' leagues have weight restrictions that will exclude him. That happened to my son when he was 11 - he was 3 lbs over and they wouldn't let him join. That's too bad, cuz the dude is a beast now at age 19!

Non-competition will also include a lot more FUN, too, which is important.

IMy friends' kid 'discovered' hacky-sack, and lost like 80 lbs over the course of 2 years and looks awesome now as well as being a really good hackysack player! ...

Marla64 · November 2008

Well-- meaning no disrespect-- but, oh my-- take charge, Noni-- what do you mean 'he won't" anything??-- take the Xbox out of his room, stop buying the Kool-Aid and direct this child down the paths he needs to go down.

He can't be borderline juvenile diabetes-- juvenile diabetes is the "Type 1" kind where your pancreas simply poops out-- it's an autoimmune disorder that can't be prevented. You either are going to get it or you're not-- there's nothing you can do to stop it.

But, you can be borderline type 2, which at his age is VERY alarming. Type 2 is most definitely preventable with diet and exercise.

For his sake, you must begin to mandate some changes or he's going to have a very unhappy, unhealthy life ahead of him.

(you can't know that I'm speaking out of great concern for this child-- I hope not to have offended)

Nonibug · November 2008

Marla-Absolutely NO offense taken:flowerforyou: Thank you (all of you) for your concern and great, well-meaning advice. That is, after all, why I posted about it

As for the diabetes, as I said, I may have mis-quoted his dr, but I do recall that she was concerned about it about 2 yrs ago or so. We went yesterday morning for both of our regular bloodwork and I do so hope to see some improvement in all his levels

I will keep you guys updated when I get the bloodwork results back.

Russia-I have decided that I am going to let him play football when he starts high school this next school year. High school football doesnt have any restrictions as far as weight requirements go, just have to get a physical clearance from the dr.

For All-He is doing very well (not at all giving me the trouble that I thought he might) with incorporating exercise in his daily routine. We have taken several walks since I originally posted this thread and he is actually drinking PLAIN water!:drinker: I am very happy that he is as serious about this as I am and willing to do what it takes

I will keep you all posted as to his progress and thank you ALL for your comments, advice, suggestions:flowerforyou: It means a great deal to me!

~Roni

Marla64 · November 2008

that's good to hear he's taking it seriously. Diabetes is no fun, let me tell you. My daughter has type 1 which, like I said, is something beyond our control. Her pancreas shut down insulin production when she was 5 years old back in 2002. Life is a draaaaaaag with this disease.

Type 2 can be easily prevented, and then controlled if it is diagnosed with nutrition and exercise. Having him realize the seriousness of his situation and striving to improve and conquer it now will so improve the quality of his life going forward.

I'm so glad you're taking such a proactive role. Please let me know how he's doing--

God bless you both as you embark on this journey-- together you can conquer this, and make lifelong changes that will help you both. Football sounds like a great idea, and he'll have a ton of fun, too.

:flowerforyou:

tymunch · November 2008

hi, I just read your post & the 1st thing I thought of was ...get him the Wii
for x-mas...
get him the exercise game to go with it...its great fun & you all can do it together.
he loves video games , so this will not seem so out of his box...

good luck, he hasn't even reached puberty yet so he will grow also...
my grandson was 156 at the age of 13 & very chubby...he grew during the summer & now he is a rail..
125 I think....so don't worry too much but yes, get him active & cut out the sugar drinks.

kathy

ohthatbambi · November 2008

Wal Mart makes a sugar free version of Crystal light and it is excellent. My son loves it, especially the grape. We go through it very quickly and according to my doctor it counts as water. So stock up. don't even tell him it is sugar free...it is so good he won't know the difference.

Second, go get some bikes and safety gear to go with them. Start taking an afternoon ride as soon as he gets home from school. My husband dropped 30 pounds in a few months by just riding a bike and tweaking his sugar/carb intake a little. You have won half the battle if he allready likes healthy foods. Just keep the kitchen stocked and help him learn to like exercise!

connieq288 · November 2008

I joined the rec center here and when I go on the weekends my boys love to come with me and either play in the gym playing basketball or either at the park which is right outside the window of the exercise room so I can keep my eye on them. I have one that I think will probably be like your boy. My oldest takes after his daddy which is on the skinny side but my middle child takes after me. He is 2 years younger than my oldest and they weigh the same. HE doesnt have a big belly but he is stocky. I just signed both of them up for basketball and after that I am thinking of signing them up for karate. They both want to take it but right now between cubscouts, basketball and guitar lessons I dont think I can add another thing in there yet. I think the sports would be the best way to get them outside and active.

Connie

MFS27 · November 2008

Wow...the first thing I would suggest, as a coach and a teacher, is to get him involved in after-school sport. He may not like it at the beginning, but he will eventually. During this time of year, I would try basketball first because of his height. He is tall for his age and he should experience some success right away. Secondly, I would maybe talk to the doctor about possible depression. In my experience, kids who spend a lot of time in their rooms and don't socialize much with the family and gain a lot of weight, may be suffering with depression. Again, I am not a doctor and I do not know your son, but these are just suggestions.

Good luck!

I was going to say the same thing. Put him on a team - doesn't matter what it is - but something. Basketball, hockey, indoor scoccer, tennis, etc.

My girls (now ages 8 and 10) were also getting "hefty" even though I didn't think they were fat, per se, and we eat healthy but I knew they needed some changes otherwise they WOULD end up overweight (esp in today's society of couch/computer/video game potatoes). I signed them up for swim team, and they swim every day for an hour - you would not believe the changes that have happened since - even school work is better and the best thing? There is simply no time to watch TV - we are always busy going to swim, coming home from swim, doing homework, etc, etc.

I would stay away from the sugar free kool aid, etc. We do not have any soda (diet or regualr or sugar free, etc. etc) in our house. I make iced tea, or (esp in the summer) the girls will put lime and mint in their water. Kids don't need the sugar/fake sugar stuff - after awhile, they will get used to the non-sugary stuff. (BTW - beware of the sugary sports drinks too - those are just as bad, if not worse).

bricker06 · November 2008

I agree crystal light is a great idea. Both my kids 16 and 14 have swithched from cool aid and soda to crystal light and my daughter has lost 14 pounds my son 17 pounds. My daughter has also signed up with spark people teen. Like mfp it has an online community that your son can share his experience with teens going through the same thing. It also calorie counts and calculates exercise. As for the video game. Maybe you could suggest a light exercise before he gets to use his games. If i can help let me know. Doing this with kids is hard but your setting a great example.
Jenny

Some advice please

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