Mean people suck!

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MissGeorgiaPeachy
MissGeorgiaPeachy Posts: 313 Member
in Motivation and Support
Why are people so mean when you start losing weight? I don't even get the whole jealousy thing because nothing stops them from eating healthier and exercising too besides the fact that they just don't WANT to. I'm not mean to them because they don't want to try harder, why are they mean to me because I do??

For instance, my future mother-in-law is always telling me my scale has to be wrong because there's no way I could have lost so much weight in such a short time even though I bring up how the measuring tape has shown that I've lost 3 inches off the largest part of my waist and she still finds something negative to say about that... "You must not be measuring correctly." REALLY?

Then she'll insult me further by saying I NEED to lose weight because I eat way too much, but she didn't want to say anything to me before I started losing weight, but now it's ok.... My future father-in-law is the same way! He'll make nasty comments to me when I've just come in from my walk or swim about how fat I am, but I don't see any of THEM trying to lose weight!

It pisses me off so much! Neither of them are slim, but I don't go around saying how fat they are and how they could stand to lose a few pounds because I'm better than that. They should be happy for me!

When my friends and family lose weight, I'm always supportive and proud of them for making an effort because it's HARD! I could never be mean to anyone about weight loss. I just don't get it.

Replies

  • Flocker1979
    Flocker1979 Posts: 96
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    What horrible people! What does your fiancee say about the way the treat you?
    I would seriousy cut them out of my life and not tell them A SINGLE THING about my progress.
    Good luck and keep your chin up. Not everybody is mean.
  • MissGeorgiaPeachy
    MissGeorgiaPeachy Posts: 313 Member
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    What horrible people! What does your fiancee say about the way the treat you?
    I would seriousy cut them out of my life and not tell them A SINGLE THING about my progress.
    Good luck and keep your chin up. Not everybody is mean.

    He tells me to ignore them and keep up the good work and how proud of me he is. I'm fortunate to have such an amazing man... I just wish he had different parents! I'd love to cut them out of my life, but unfortunately we are living with them until I finish school. :( The only reason I tell them is because I'm so proud of myself and being so far away from my own family I guess I'm looking to them for support, but I most definitely do not have it. lol
  • beatricegreenough
    beatricegreenough Posts: 10 Member
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    Don't let them bother you! Sounds to me that for some reason they are jealous of you. People don't say anything about anybody if they don't bother them. Maybe they wish they could be as motivated to do what you are. Keep on and just try to maybe stay clear of them as much as possible!:happy:
  • stanvoodoo
    stanvoodoo Posts: 1,023 Member
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    Resolve this now with your Fiancee or I hope you are not planning to live with them after you are married. Til then, get earphones and listen to your ipod!

    Good Luck and Big Congrats on your success we are all very proud of you!
  • redleppard
    redleppard Posts: 4 Member
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    Ugghhh, I hate people like that! My favorite is the ones who say something like with all that exercise it seems you would've lost more weight by now! Your fiance needs to tell his parents to respect you or plan on being cut out of the life you and him will be having together. Just keep on walking and losing and you will show them! Good luck!
  • rachel_can
    rachel_can Posts: 10 Member
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    I love your signature! I agree with the earlier poster. Just go about your business and they will see your progress right before their eyes soon enough. It's amazing the bitterness that comes out in people when you have a success that they would like to have. Keep up the good work, lean on your man for support and soon you'll be triumphant without even having to say anything.
    Good luck!
  • KendraElmendorf
    KendraElmendorf Posts: 837 Member
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    What horrible people! What does your fiancee say about the way the treat you?
    I would seriousy cut them out of my life and not tell them A SINGLE THING about my progress.
    Good luck and keep your chin up. Not everybody is mean.

    He tells me to ignore them and keep up the good work and how proud of me he is. I'm fortunate to have such an amazing man... I just wish he had different parents! I'd love to cut them out of my life, but unfortunately we are living with them until I finish school. :( The only reason I tell them is because I'm so proud of myself and being so far away from my own family I guess I'm looking to them for support, but I most definitely do not have it. lol


    Well I'm proud of you, and i don't even know you :happy: if you are looking for support then you are in the right place :flowerforyou:
  • Bavaria100
    Bavaria100 Posts: 42
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    Have you told them how much they hurt you with those comments? Sometimes people are just not aware. :frown: I am really sorry to hear that.
  • cL0ver
    cL0ver Posts: 19
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    When you have such a nice man I think its part of the package!! lol!

    When you feel proud of yourself come on and share here, we will motivate you to keep going instead of putting you down like they are doing!!

    Keep up the fab work!

    xx
  • horndave
    horndave Posts: 565
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    Bummer that they treat you this way. I would cut the communication off with them about your losses, they offer nothing. Keep doing what you are doing and you have your husband there for support. Keep going.
  • brandilea_willoughby
    brandilea_willoughby Posts: 45
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    You need to tell them this and offer one warning that you will not accept their behavior without also doing some sharing of your own. Then the next time you catch one of them over eating or some other bad habit, VERY NICELY ask one of them if they'd like to join you for a walk or a swim because the behavior they are exhibiting is not healthy and you want them both to be around for your fiancee and any children you may have :) In laws are often terrible and from my experience it does not get better! But you don't stoop to their level, you be honest and you call it like you see it and if your husband is worth having he will stand by your side as long as you are fair!!
  • ddwin
    ddwin Posts: 78
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    "Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity."
    Robert A. Heinlein

    Your fiancée is right... don't give them the satisfaction of watching their bad attitudes bring you down. They're looking for a reaction, one that will boost themselves and bring you back down closer to their level. Just smile and nod, then walk away...
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
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    I posted this on my thread earlier today...keep in mind this man has said other things to me, this was just today's...


    'Oh yeah I'm f*king seething! I had an old guy at work tell me that only atheletes should run...so I told him I didn't lose 25lbs for nothing and he looks at me and says "you've lost weight?"...I'm so angry! He's such an *kitten*! I told him that I love going to the gym and he said "sure doesn't look like you work out"...I could have punted him in the pee flaps right then and there"


    This has really been my first encounter with this since I've started my weight loss journey. And let me tell you, I'm still crushed...I just want to go home and get a hug from my fiance...and I'm really struggling not to emotionally eat my face off...so when you figure out how to get thicker skin let me know.
  • Janet39
    Janet39 Posts: 280 Member
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    I am glad you have a supportive hubby, you keep going, you are strong and have not given up.

    Your inlaws are being mean, as you are proving that it can be done. This will be making them feel bad about their life choices.

    They are too lazy to try and improve themselves even though in their heart of hearts they no that they should be incouraging you and doing it themselves.

    They are either consiously or unconsiously taking your weight loss as a snub to their lifestyle. Rise above it, the more you loose the easier it will become for you.

    Don't settle for second best, you have a great life ahead of you with your hubby, you will do it if you don't give up.
  • Smurph241
    Smurph241 Posts: 24
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    Some people are awful!!! I would seriously consider cutting them out of my life and though right now you cannot do it physically, do it mentally!!

    Say morning and good night and please and thank you but do NOT let them share in your sucess!!! Tell them nothing and just let them see you transform in front of their eyes.

    Great work and keep it up!!
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    Sounds to me like they're trying to get a rise out of you - and unfortunately, it's working. It does stink to have in-laws (or future in-laws in your case) who are nasty people that you can't really avoid, I really do feel your pain!!
    So, my advice is to completely ignore them. Oooh, or kill them with kindness by saying "isn't that sweet" regardless of how mean their comments are. You don't have to smile along with that comment - a nice flat look with a sweet comment can really mess with people's heads. Hehe - ok, maybe that's just evil. But it could work!

    Also, I think your fiance really should say something. No need to start a fight, just a couple quick subtle things... First, he can set a good example saying how proud of you he is in front of them and saying "don't you guys think she's doing great?". And if they continue with the negativity, he should ask them to be more supportive and stop with the rude comments.
  • MissGeorgiaPeachy
    MissGeorgiaPeachy Posts: 313 Member
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    This is why I come here every day. Each and every one of you are so inspiring and motivational and I was crying through all the comments! lol THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I WILL do this and they WILL see it and if the time comes that they want to make a change in their own lives, I will support them. I will never, ever stoop to that level and more than anything it just makes me want to work HARDER! Anger is a great energy booster for me!

    It just sucks that people choose mean words. It is just as easy to say something nice even if you don't really mean it. I even appreciate brutal honesty, but there is a time and a place for that. If someone IS working towards a goal and succeeding, that is NOT the time for brutal honesty.

    Trust me, when I'm finished with school, they cease to exist! I do appreciate them letting me live here and they have my utmost respect, but I won't miss them when we're gone.
  • Mad_Dog_Muscle
    Mad_Dog_Muscle Posts: 1,251 Member
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    Sounds like your future husband should tell his parents to chill the hell out and stop being so negative and mean.
  • dennypup
    dennypup Posts: 105 Member
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    Words hurt,as much as we wish we could ignore them and consider the source. There are mean, nasty, hateful people out there who derive an immense sense of pleasure out of hurting other people. I'm really glad your fiancé is supportive and loving. Unlike some of the other posters, I sense telling them they've hurt your feelings will only give them more pleasure, but I'm no expert. Keep your chin up, you're doing a great job!
  • susancelli928
    susancelli928 Posts: 190
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    They sound to me like two people who are unhappy and don't want the people around them to be happy with themselves. You should be proud of yourself for doing so well on your weight loss. You don't need negative people around you so my suggestion, spend as little time with them as possible. You are a beautiful person!!!!

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