Just to get you to giggle...

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Marcia_11
Marcia_11 Posts: 143 Member
in Chit-Chat
The Diet


BREAKFAST
1/2 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast
8 oz glass skim milk

LUNCH
4 oz lean broiled chicken breast
1 cup steamed zucchini
1 Oreo cookie

MID-AFTERNOON SNACK
rest of the package of Oreo cookies
1 quart Rocky Road ice cream
1 jar hot fudge

DINNER
2 loaves garlic bread
1 large pepperoni & mushroom pizza
1 large pitcher of beer
3 Milky Way candy bars
1 entire cheesecake

DIET TIPS
1. If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories
2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar,
they cancel each other out.
3. When eating with someone else, calories dont count
if you both eat the same amount.
4. Foods used for medicinal purpose have no calories.
These include any chocolate used for energy,
brandy, cheesecake, and ice cream.
5. Cookie pieces contain no calories, because breakage
causes the calories to leak out.
6. If you eat food from someone else's plate, the
calories don't count.
7. Movie related snacks are much lower in calories because
they are part of the entertainment, and not ones
of personal fuel.

Replies

  • Jacquelyn913
    Jacquelyn913 Posts: 300 Member
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    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • ronda_gettinghealthy
    ronda_gettinghealthy Posts: 777 Member
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    hahahaha- I always thought so-:laugh:
  • angdan31
    angdan31 Posts: 95 Member
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    1. If no one see you eat it, it has no calories.

    5. Cookie pieces contain no calories, because breakage
    causes the calories to leak out.

    I've been living by those two most of my life!:laugh:
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
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    :laugh: :laugh:

    I told my friend I gained back 2 pounds and blamed it on the new meds the doctor is making me take:brokenheart: . She asked if I am exercsing every day:huh: . Well nooooo. Oh then your diary looks good:huh: ? Errrr nooooo. Oh then what have you been eating:huh: ? Bread, icecream and pasta:blushing: ......................Ok, I get your point:angry:
  • deeharley
    deeharley Posts: 1,208 Member
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    I once read that calories are afraid of heights, so store your cookies on top of the fridge and the calories will jump out, then you can eat the cookies. :laugh:
  • 2bFitNTrim
    2bFitNTrim Posts: 1,209 Member
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    If you didn't put it on a plate, the calories don't count. For example, tastes from a pot, nibbles from a bag, handful from a container, etc. are all calorie free!! :bigsmile:
  • Marcia_11
    Marcia_11 Posts: 143 Member
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    For years I've told my husband if you eat outside, there is no calories in the food! :laugh:

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