Serial Dieters - Do you know why you quit before?

slapshotgolf
slapshotgolf Posts: 163 Member
edited September 26 in Health and Weight Loss
Are you a "serial dieter" who has tried different methods to lose to weight in the past, only to quit prematurely? My question is, have you figured out why?

It takes a certain degree of motivation to get started, and for most, once we start, we enjoy a (brief) period of success. It easy to find out why people start - the message boards are full of new members sharing their motivations. However there is no message board for those that quit. Many members just fall away. Why? It's an important question, because quitting is the biggest obstacle to succeeding. :)

Replies

  • dave4d
    dave4d Posts: 1,155 Member
    Depression did me in. I was going through marital problems, trying to work things out, I ended up quitting the exercise to spend more time with family. Marriage eventually failed, then I just wanted to eat junk. When your contemplating suicide, it is hard to justify busting your *kitten* in the gym, only to look good in your coffin. After a while I started back up with eating right, and exercising, but then I started dating too. Restaurants are not good on the diet, so I lost my motivation again. It took me until I was bigger than I was the first time to really stick with it.
  • BunnybeeJG
    BunnybeeJG Posts: 344 Member
    ... in the past i was this time i'm determined as hell lol

    but ... i think a little of it was fear...
    being looked at in a different light wher eyou get attention that's not neg. and not being able to handle it possibly bc its not... what you're familiar with... idk that's my psychological view. now i just tell my self to stfu and just keep going bc i want to suprise my boyfriend in november.
  • Chikeebabe
    Chikeebabe Posts: 41 Member
    FRUSTRATION!!! I lost 95 lbs and then got sick last year with an inner ear thing. So, I was getting vertigo all the time. Started to gain weight and got frustrated as hell. Now I'm felling better and ready to get back at it!
  • idahogirl71
    idahogirl71 Posts: 1,110 Member
    I would always quit in the past for a few reasons.

    In the past:
    1. I always did fad diets instead of changing my lifestyle
    2. I always dieted to please someone else not myself
    3. I would give up whenever I would reach a plateau
    4. I would panic once I was down 25-30 pounds and would eat to gain the weight back
    5. I never dealt with the real issues of why I am overweight

    This time:
    1. I am making lifestyle changes
    2. I am doing this for myself, not to please anyone else
    3. I have been through 2 plateaus so far and have stuck it out and gotten past them
    4. I did panic when I was 35 pounds but talked to others who helped me through it
    5. I have dealt with the issues from my past that are related to my obesity

    I know this will work this time because I have already proven to myself that it is working and because I have a great support system!
  • aanddplusoanda
    aanddplusoanda Posts: 189 Member
    The only reason I quit before was because I just found out I was pregnant but once I was cleared by my doctor 10 months later I started again. I have taken a couple breaks here and there because life gets crazy busy running around doing other things every day but starting back up isn't that hard for me. I am more than determined to get these last 19 pounds off and then I would like to lose 5 more after that but it's not that important to me.
  • dracobaby82
    dracobaby82 Posts: 380 Member
    For me I've always quit before because I wasn't seeing any real results... it was like I wanted to loose all the weight I've put on in just a couple months... I realize now it takes time, and the slower it goes off the easier it will be to maintain!

    I remember the summer before I became pregnant with my twins I was exercising every day ALL summer long... I didn't lose any weight but I did lose inches, but for some reason that wasn't good enough for me, and I gave up. Now my twins are 19 months old and I have 3 other kids in the house... I wanna be a good role model for them and get them active with me
  • EricJonrosh
    EricJonrosh Posts: 823 Member
    I'm at that place right now. Threw out my back and got a sinus infection all at once. It's easy to get down on yourself for not eating right and exercising, but I got to the gym today and I never quit logging. This site has helped where doing it on my own it was easier to quit. I wrote a thread about depression explaining my feelings on this. It has to do with the 2 month mark of any diet I've tried, and how that becomes the beginning of the end for various reasons:

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/217881-depression?hl=depression#posts-2871599
  • significance
    significance Posts: 436 Member
    Usually, it's because I get to my goal and then stop paying attention and go back to my bad old habits.

    A few times, I haven't got to my goal but got to a point where I was happy with how I looked, lost my motivation, and let the bad habits creep back.

    A few other times, it has been because life stresses have been severe or I've been repeatedly ill and I've decided to take the stress of dieting out of the equation and let myself enjoy comfort food.

    This time (like last time), I'm determined not to let this happen.
  • LeeBeeW
    LeeBeeW Posts: 100
    I had way too many excuses to rely on. Once I had had my kids, I eventually ran out of excuses!

    Best decision I ever made was to change my lifestyle!
  • squishycow7
    squishycow7 Posts: 820 Member
    I know it sounds silly, but I was EMBARRASSED a lot of the time when I wanted to be on a diet. I have this (completely untrue, idealistic) concept that there's something WRONG with not just being BORN pretty, fit and healthy! Going on a diet or setting aside time to exercise when all of my friends seemed to be naturally thin seemed like I was failing at something.
    So, I'd diet when I was alone, but if someone offered me, say... a beer, or a piece of cake.. I would say yes!

    ahhh, so silly. I'm over it now and proudly PROCLAIM that I'm working on myself/my fitness/etc, and I've been met with plenty of support so far!
  • kettlewitch
    kettlewitch Posts: 277 Member
    For me, short term pleasure always won over long term goals and I told myself that I had years to get it sorted. And then the years went by and I was suddenly 40 and it just wasn't funny anymore. And now all the things that I knew could happen in the future are here and I'm now diabetic and full of gallstones and just so tired of it. I have a friend who is disabled from her weight and I do not wantto end up like that
  • bigmamma3
    bigmamma3 Posts: 134
    I have never done fad diets but everytime i have started losing weight i fell pregnant so I'm terrified this time it will happen again lol. there is nochance of that so I have no excuses this time.
  • BombolinaM
    BombolinaM Posts: 561 Member
    Very good question. I think I've quit in the past because lack of motivation and just being plain lazy. I feel determined now to drop the weight. Not just to look better but to feel better. I was thinking today how much more energy I have and that I look forward to a new me.
  • leomentlines
    leomentlines Posts: 440 Member
    In the past I lost around 50 pounds, and stopped trying to strive for more. I wasn't eating all that well (I went back and looked at some of my journal entries from 2009 - terrible!), rarely exercised, and I wasn't tracking my macronutrients. I instead relied on eating diets that ranged from 900-1200 calories a day, averaging 1100 a day. People around me would say, oh you look great/fine now, and I let it get to my head, even though I knew I wasn't yet at the weight/size I wanted to be at.

    Two major roadblocks to weight loss in the past for me are that I have never fit comfortably in a 14, nor gotten below 180 pounds. I think as I began to get close to those I slacked off because I didn't know how to handle actually passing them.

    This time I'm going about my weight loss in a steady fashion, and am taking it one week at a time, with mini-goals along the way. I just passed my first mini-goal, which was to get out of the 200s and into the 100s again, so now my next mini-goal is to pass the hump that has evaded me for years now, getting below 180 pounds.
  • Pawsntails
    Pawsntails Posts: 67 Member
    I'm pathetic when I'm ill, so I get a cold n feel really sorry for myself n eat then don't go back to being good after. I can however say I have survived my first mfp cold without quiting.
  • barbs2fat
    barbs2fat Posts: 8
    this is an excellent question. I'm at the point of quitting right now. I've been on a pateau for 2 months now, tried changing different things like my exercise and calories but nothing helps. I have tried dieting a number of time now and quit because the results were just not forthcoming.
    It seemed like a huge waste of time and energy and being surrounded by family and friends who enjoy take outs and
    processed foods didn't help much either.
    This time i had decided it was a lifestyle change and was so sure it would work. Joined the Tony Ferguson team and saw some results but in 6 months i have only seen a 6.5kg drop and this for me is just depressing. When i read other blogs
    and see the amount of weight they are losing in the same space of time as myself then it really makes me worried. Not wanting to compare my weight lose with others but at least i should see a reasonable enough figure. I'm just so
    put off and seriouly considering giving up. I am at a loss for new ideas.
  • BerryH
    BerryH Posts: 4,698 Member
    I'm a serial long-term monogamist with diets! A decade ago I lost a ton of weight nice and slowly by counting calories and exercising. Now I'm doing the same but with MFP's help :smile:
  • AnneFordham
    AnneFordham Posts: 12
    I have always quit in the past because I was not allowing myself enough to eat, being constantly hungry means I just crave food, all I thought about was food!
    What is different this time is that by counting my calories I realise I can eat more than I thought and still lose weight, my exercise calories are my trade off - if I am good and do some exercise I can then treat myself, the more exercise I do the better the treat... it works for me!!
    The gym doesn't do it for me at all, I don't like getting hot, sweaty and out of breath, and at almost 45 yrs I am not after perfect ABs! But I do a lot of walking (I have a pedometre which is really useful for seeing how much I have benefited), I ride a bike and I swim.
    Eating three meals a day really does stop me snacking in the evening too - I had heard this before, but never really believed it...
    Living on my own is a help, I don't have to take anyone else's meals into account, I do eat a lot of processed foods, but from the healthy ranges, which is a whole lot better than the take aways I was eating before.
    Also, and most importantly for me, is there is no hurry, I will lose the weight I want to, but at a managable speed. 1lb - 1.5lbs a week is fine, if I don't lose any some weeks thats fine too - putting weight on though is definately not fine!!
  • AnneFordham
    AnneFordham Posts: 12
    I know it sounds silly, but I was EMBARRASSED a lot of the time when I wanted to be on a diet. I have this (completely untrue, idealistic) concept that there's something WRONG with not just being BORN pretty, fit and healthy! Going on a diet or setting aside time to exercise when all of my friends seemed to be naturally thin seemed like I was failing at something.
    So, I'd diet when I was alone, but if someone offered me, say... a beer, or a piece of cake.. I would say yes!

    ahhh, so silly. I'm over it now and proudly PROCLAIM that I'm working on myself/my fitness/etc, and I've been met with plenty of support so far!

    I understand this, I would actually diet in secret, so that I could fail in secret, rather than have to face the truth and tell others that yes I failed again! Glad you are over it now, I am too!
  • recwrite
    recwrite Posts: 4
    I generally reach a goal when I put my mind to it ... but those were "diets" and the weight came right back each time. Frankly I was too good at the deprivation / reward cycle.

    I'm off that roller coaster and have learned the hard way (with some serious health issues - muscle wasting and vitamin/mineral deficiencies to overcome at the end of my last diet) that I have to take it slow and steady. The goal is to be a healthy weight -- not lose weight!
  • maryritt529
    maryritt529 Posts: 82
    Cockiness led me here this time.
    I lost weight and was weight training and exercising and following a lifestyle that made me feel awesome!
    I finally reached my goal weight looked and felt better then I had EVER felt...and then it began.
    The excuses:
    "I ate so well today I don't need to hit the gym"
    "I have done great...eating 4 pieces of pizza and downing it with a few margaritas ...won't hurt ;)"
    and these excuse DO fool you.
    Because yes, skipping the gym here and ther when you are on Maitenance won't hurt and eating a bad meal NOw and THEN won't hurt either...but then maybe you stop to weigh yourself and it slowly creeps up and then it is a downward spiral.
    Maintenance is why I have failed...because I NEVER thought I had to do it! This time I feel I have a different attitude. I KNOW maintenance is an integral part of keeping the weight off..and I will never put the scale back in the closet again!!
  • jellybaby84
    jellybaby84 Posts: 583 Member
    I usually gave up because I crash dieted myself into a crisis and was forced to stop
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
    Well, I'm not a serial dieter but I think the predominant reason people fall into this trap is because they have an all or nothing approach. Anything less than perfection whilst on their diet is seen as abject failure causing them to fall off the wagon.

    "Oh no, I've eaten a piece of chocolate, I've messed up my diet completely" "I am a failure as I gave in to dougnut" "I've had a beer, it's just no good, I am destined to be fat."

    If people could strip away the emotional reactions to these events and look at it logically they would find confidence that these events will have pretty negligible difference to their success. If you have done well 80 - 90% of the time then remaining 10 - 20% isn't a problem unless you choose to make it so.
  • seadog1
    seadog1 Posts: 86 Member
    I have lost ten thousand pounds over the years and gained it back, I think it was because I would reach a plateau and not have the self discipline to keep track of what I was eating. I have a tendancy to graze, just eat about all the time, I would quit exercising and have more stress and the weight would come back on. Some times it was because I was away from home traveling and its harder to keep track of the food that way. I expect my fitness pal is going to be a way of life from now on, so is exercise. I have been on a plateau for a month or more now, so I increased my calories and now I seem to be losing weight again, down below 220 for one of the few times in my life since highschool.
  • dwellsouth
    dwellsouth Posts: 158 Member
    When I put my mind to something and take control of my life, things happen. But I NEVER actually prescribed to a diet of any sort and learned about food. Obviously I knew that to lose weight I'd have to eat less and/or burn more but I never broke it down to manageable levels. When I hit my highest ever weight I had to accept that I let myself become totally out of control - and if I don't control myself, who the hell will? Advertisers? Neighbors sending over cheesecake? Who the hell is driving this car?
    Finding MFP is the best thing I have ever done for my health because I can easily see exactly what I am consuming and what it contributes to my survival. For the first time I can truly take responsibility for what I eat and how I exercise and get real about it. This journey is just beginning for me and today I feel like regardless of losing weight or not, I have taken control of my health through MFP.
    Now I'm trying to teach my children the same things without controlling them, so they can be responsible for their food and exercise choices themselves too!
  • katberz
    katberz Posts: 123
    It's quite simple, really - I'd go on a crash diet and after losing 5, 10, sometimes even 15 lbs, I just couldn't keep starving every day. I rarely set realistic goals, usually because of some pivotal event in the near future, and I'd end up killing myself to try to meet the goal. I'm older and a bit more relaxed about it now so I'm happy to get there when I get there. I still eat the food I love, have things in moderation and ensure I exercise daily so it stays a habit.
  • CrimsonWife
    CrimsonWife Posts: 56
    I've struggled with emotional eating since I was a teenager. 9/11, death in the family, unemployment, etc. causes me to turn to "comfort food".
  • Janet39
    Janet39 Posts: 280 Member
    1 ) I find it hard to stick to prescribed diets, I end up bored with the food choices I make, and loose interest.

    2 ) I hit a plateau, and then drift off message. ( I have done this for 2 days this week, and have hauled myself back on track).

    I think I managed to get back on track as issue 1, does not seem to be happening using MFP in the way it has in previous diets.
  • ohnuts14
    ohnuts14 Posts: 197
    You're 100% correct. It's not the exercise or the dieting that makes weight loss difficult. It's us. If we can't find the motivation or get past our own mental blocks, weight loss is impossible. I've been trying to lose weight since I was 12, and never succeeded, and I think that's because I was never in the right state of mind. I wanted to lose weight but apparently wasn't motivated enough to do the things I knew I needed to do in order to lose it. I kept giving up because I felt like I would never succeed. I'd get into this "whatever" mind frame and just give up on myself, much like I did throughout most of my school career. I needed to learn to care about myself and my future before I was able to start taking weight loss seriously. I think above all else, that was my biggest problem. I didn't think I was worth it enough to try, and I think a lot of people feel that way on some level. Everyone has something in their life that they have to overcome. It's all about state of mind, and I think once we figure out what it is that's stopping us, only then can we truly begin to succeed.
  • slapshotgolf
    slapshotgolf Posts: 163 Member
    Thanks for your posts everyone - it looks like its most commonly 1 of 3 reasons.

    Crisis - something occurs in your life and the response is to deal with it with food. Somewhere along the line we equated food with feeling better, though we know through experience the food often makes things worse. To avoid this downfall we have to learn new behaviour when confronted with a crisis. A lot of healthy people relieve stress though exercise, "going for a jog to clear their heads", taking up a sports as a distraction from their everyday problems. Stress management for some of us is a learned behaviour. We need to learn better ways to cope.

    Frustration - hitting a plateau and giving up. The whole plateau thing interests me. My longest plateau over the last 5 months has been 5 days without dropping to a new low - so I may not qualify as having had one. That said, I haven't deviated much from my fitness plan since I started. I know someone who is currently going through a 2 week plateau, but by her own admission, she is not doing what she originally did when she started. Not logging everyday, not exercising as often as she did, snacking one extra time per day...she hasn't gained weight, but appears to be in maintenance mode. But that's ok. This isn't a race. If you need to take a mental break from the weight loss, go ahead, consider it a "sabbatical". You'll return. Until then, keep an eye on the scale so that you don't slip back the other way, and when you return, do so with the passion you had when you started. But don't quit!

    Lack of maintenance - reaching your goal but failing to keep up the necessary changes to maintain your weight. A lot of this is attributed to one's mindset when they started, I think. If you started with the short term goal of "losing x pounds, in x weeks", the goal signals the end of the journey. For others that have successfully maintained, this journey was more about taking a different fork in the road...a different path. Will we alway be reliant on MFP? Maybe. Or maybe we'll just give ourselves a 5-10 lb buffer once we hit our target weight, and use MFP intermittently to manage ourselves back into the range. Or maybe we will have learned what we needed, and successfully manage our health without the daily tracking routine. We'll know once we arrive there I guess - but we have to depart with the understanding that this journey doesn't end the day we reach our goal.

    Thanks again for everyone's honest feedback. I'm going to save this entry in blog - just in case I need it. :smile:
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