Feeling like a failure

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lexismom2008
lexismom2008 Posts: 1
in Health and Weight Loss
So...my weight loss drive came about a month ago. My doctor wants me to lose about 20 pounds because of some health issues I've been having. Now, I'm not fat by any means, but I weigh alot (175). So, I got my motivation and things were going great. With the lifestyle change, I lost 6 lbs in 4 days, which totally made sense; I wasn't doing anything unhealthy. Well, 7 days ago, my daughter became very ill. She's been sick ever since, and it's still pretty bad. My dieting took a backburner because of all the stress. I found myself eating all the time because my schedule was so messed up because of my daughter's illness (sometimes she'd be up until 5am for unknown reasons). I've put back on all the weight and I feel like a failure; like I shouldn't use my daughter's illness as an excuse. Please tell me that there are people out there that have gone through the same feelings? I need motivation to get back on the wagon...

Replies

  • hroush
    hroush Posts: 2,073 Member
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    Some of the weight you lost was probably water weight and all the weight you put back on was water / extra food weight. When you return to eating normally, the weight will disappear.
  • mishmash73
    mishmash73 Posts: 166 Member
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    what you are doing is typical of anyone on a temporary change in diet to lose weight. if you really want to lose the weight, you have to realize this is a lifelong change... permanent. get rid of the crap in your house so you always have staples to fall back on for what you don't have time to 'plan' & need something quick. i always have these costco chicken burgers in the fridge/freezer & can nuke the 140 calorie patties quick with some bbq sauce... i also keep costco chicken strips (no rib meat) in the fridge with their stir fry vege's. yesterday i was having a garage sale & in 15 minutes, cooked shrimp with stir fry vegetables...
  • nymamiyankee
    nymamiyankee Posts: 33
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    you're not a failure at all...your daughter is important and im sure you were worried ...sometimes we eat when we are stressed and worried and its good you know that is an issue..i hope your daughter is doing better....and you'll get back on track..you're still here and thats a really great sign..just keep going and eventually it will work out...good luck...
  • abellante_0205
    abellante_0205 Posts: 368 Member
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    you will get back on track soon! do not worry... Think about your daughter when you're trying to lose weight, use her as a motivation instead of as an excuse. I gained weight because of family situations... I was depressed and didnt want to take care of myself, I gained like 20-30 lbs because of that... 2 years ago I started this journey, and I lost 24.3 lbs in ONE year, last year was my tough year ever... with deaths, and I gained back 2 lbs of the 24.3 lbs that i had lost the year before... BUT I saw it as a success at the same time because I kept off 22.3 lbs, and didn't gain too much back! Now I'm struggling to lose about 18 more lbs! You can do it!!!!
  • embym
    embym Posts: 65
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    I totally understand how you feel! I've been gaining/losing about 4 lbs ever since I started and it's SO HARD to get past it!
  • MarieNevada
    MarieNevada Posts: 395 Member
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    There are times when other people's needs will take precedence over yours. Especially an ill child. You did nothing wrong by giving your child priority. When she is better, you will get back to your weight loss. You've already proven you could do it. When you focused, you lost weight. How is that a failure? Learn from this interval. Learn to plan your food in advance. Take 15 minutes at night and prepare all the food you're going to eat the next day. And give yourself a break. Instead of a bad dieter, you were a good mother. Tomorrow, you will start again and you will succeed. To borrow someone's phrase, It's not about how many times you fall down. It's about getting up more than you fall down. You can and will do this.
  • Athena413
    Athena413 Posts: 1,709 Member
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    Some of the weight you lost was probably water weight and all the weight you put back on was water / extra food weight. When you return to eating normally, the weight will disappear.

    Agreed. Extra food on the go = extra sodium = extra water retention. You have to eat 3,500 calories and burn absolutely nothing to gain a pound...I'd be impressed if you actually ate enough to gain 6 lbs in such a short amount of time. Your daughter is a perfectly good excuse to be a little stressed, so don't sweat it. Just jump back on the wagon and remember that yesterday can't be changed so just forget about it, but today and tomorrow can be yours...you just have to make the choice.
  • healthnut82
    healthnut82 Posts: 6
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    I feel the same way as you i weighed 178 and am only 5'1 I've lost 43 lbs so far. And it's been really hard for me to lose the rest. I keep telling myself I'm gonna lose the rest soon but but i keep eating the same bad stuff. I know what your going through my son has had cancer for the past 3 years and just in November he had a relapse. I'm really gonna try to work hard on myself because if you think of it this way our kids need us to be strong and healthy. I just want you to know your not the only one going through this. And remember take it one day at a time. I hope this helps you. ;)
  • HaleyAlli
    HaleyAlli Posts: 911 Member
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    Your story sounds a lot like mine except I don't have kids. I was supposed to lose 25 pounds since October; I've only lost about 4-5 now because I've gone up and down so many times... You're not a failure, you're just human. We all go through this. Keep your chin up and don't let this beat you! :)
  • PrincessDiannaP
    PrincessDiannaP Posts: 13
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    Don't feel like a failure, I had the same kind of set back a few weeks ago and when I got on the scale Saturday I actually weighed 1.4 lbs less than I had before putting the weight back on (which was about 8 lbs by the way). So keep your head up...you can do it and remember you are not alone. :flowerforyou:
  • aimee0515
    aimee0515 Posts: 67
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    I know it's hard to eat healthy and plan ahead sometimes...I work full time, am going to school to be an RN, and still try to fit in some sort of a social life. You should not feel like a failure...this is a temporary set back. But try to remember...your daughter needs you and YOU need to be a priority and take care of yourself so that you can take care of her properly.
  • ktc33
    ktc33 Posts: 249 Member
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    You are not a failure. I had been doing pretty well until about 4 or five days ago and then my work schedule got a little crazy and I totally fell off the wagon and gained back a few pounds. It is a little discouraging, but you just need to keep a positive attitude and remember that you can always start fresh tomorrow. No one is perfect.
  • anewattitude
    anewattitude Posts: 483 Member
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    You are not a failure because you put the weight back on! Having a child who is sick is stressful and it makes sense you lost focus however you HAVE to get that focus back! Your daughter needs a strong and healthy mom and you need to be strong and healthy for yourself as well. Since the doctor has stated you need to lose the extra weight for health reasons you need to find a way to get back on track. Exercise is a great stress reliever! Just take baby steps. Incorporate as much activity into your day as possible and opt for healthier snacks ( like fruits and veggies) when you feel the urge to stress eat.

    Whatever you do, do not feel like you are a failure for worrying about your daughter to the point you neglectd yourself. Just make a promise to start again fresh tomorrow and don't look back.

    I really hope your daughter is better and will be ok!

    Best wishes
  • simplyroni
    simplyroni Posts: 17
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    I'm going through the same thing. My son is very sick and the worrying and depression I've suffered while he's been ill has taken its toll on my weight loss plans. All you can really do is take things one day at a time. The best thing you can do for your daughter is take care of yourself so you can take care of her. And any parent that has to take care of a sick child is anything but a failure. Keep you head up and stay strong
  • MBSNANA
    MBSNANA Posts: 149 Member
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    You are not a failure. Many of us have have stressful times come in our lives that throwes our journey [I don't like the word diet] off balance. Just remember it is not a shame to fall off the wagon. It is a shame to lay there and let the wagon just keep running over you. Just jump on and start again. Take it one day at a time and one meal at a time. Wishing the best for your sick child. Kaye
  • Newfiedan
    Newfiedan Posts: 1,517 Member
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    It is family first, I would quit doing everything if it meant taking care of my son, he is my world. You will get back into it and do not get down, we all have downfalls on the path to health, I have had my fair share and it is not the number of times you fall flat on your face but how many times that you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get back on the train that you will realize true success.
  • geminicfl
    geminicfl Posts: 2
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    It doesn't sound like lack of motivation is the problem. Being a parent is tough, both mentally & physically. The fact that you're using this site is proof you care about your health, and therefore have the motivation to improve it. You just need to tap into it. This site, and especially the mobile apps, is a great tool to help you analyze why you're eating in the first place. In your case, it seems like you're eating to help you feel better, which is the main reason why most people overeat. Instead of eating, try doing something else that makes you feel good, such as a hobby. Exercise doesn't have to be hard; just about any activity can help you burn calories. Finally, don't lose hope. Maintaining or reaching a healthy weight is a lifelong goal, and you are bound to be set back once in a while. It's important not to set unrealistic goals for yourself, such as being perfect when it comes to your diet. After all, we're only human. Good luck, and I hope your child feels well soon. :wink:
  • sinclare
    sinclare Posts: 369 Member
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    you are fine! taking care of your daughter is priority number one. then, you will get back on track. I am sure. One day at a time :smile:
  • SeasideOasis
    SeasideOasis Posts: 1,057 Member
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    So...my weight loss drive came about a month ago. My doctor wants me to lose about 20 pounds because of some health issues I've been having. Now, I'm not fat by any means, but I weigh alot (175). So, I got my motivation and things were going great. With the lifestyle change, I lost 6 lbs in 4 days, which totally made sense; I wasn't doing anything unhealthy. Well, 7 days ago, my daughter became very ill. She's been sick ever since, and it's still pretty bad. My dieting took a backburner because of all the stress. I found myself eating all the time because my schedule was so messed up because of my daughter's illness (sometimes she'd be up until 5am for unknown reasons). I've put back on all the weight and I feel like a failure; like I shouldn't use my daughter's illness as an excuse. Please tell me that there are people out there that have gone through the same feelings? I need motivation to get back on the wagon...

    Your little one is sick, which causes so much stress on a Mother, which can really de-rail weight loss as well. Your stress levels can cause your body to retain all sorts of stuff. For now, take care of your daughter, take care of you, but don't stress about your weight loss.

    If you are wanting to make efforts, reach for healthy items whens you feel hungry. Such as celery, pre cut baby carrots, apples, bananas, etc. This might help you not worry so much about your eating while you focus more of your time on taking care of your daughter.

    I hope she feels better soon :)

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