Sabotage ?

jennwren77
jennwren77 Posts: 76 Member
edited September 2024 in Motivation and Support
Well...it certainly is a slippery slope. I fell off and then got ran over by the wagon. My birthday was April 14 and then I was on vacation until today. I had been doing so well with counting calories and being active, but friends and family seemed to have other ideas. Why is it that the people closest to you try the hardest to lead you astray? They found every (or any) excuse for me to not do the right thing. I heard "it's your birthday", "it's the weekend", "it's a holiday", "you're on vacation", "you've been doing so well, treat yourself", "It's only one day", "do it later", "make up for it tomorrow". etc. I really feel like it was sabotage in most cases. The worst part about it is that I didn't even enjoy all of the "treating myself". We ate out a lot and it wasn't even that good. The taste just wasn't appealing anymore. Cheese fries tasted like fat and salt, fried chicken tasted like grease, cake was a heavy block of sugar. I didn't like it, but I was eating what everyone else was having. I knew I was in trouble when I felt so bad that I stopped logging in my diary . They got me! I've regained three pounds in less than two weeks :-( My goal is to only lose one pound a week, so I set myself back almost a month. #%@!

Today is my first day back at work and hopefully back on track. I don't want to completely blame anyone else for what i did because I should have said no and stuck to it. Next time, I will say "Auntie I love you to death, but NO I will not have more cake" Wish me luck, pray for me, light a candle...I can use all the help I can get.

Replies

  • JPayne53
    JPayne53 Posts: 235 Member
    I totally understand where you are coming from! Good Luck, My prayer is said.. and my candle is lit!! :wink:
  • a_freeman
    a_freeman Posts: 116 Member
    Just a small set back. You're back on it. Good luck
  • Nich0le
    Nich0le Posts: 2,906 Member
    It's going to be a struggle as long as you have friends and family :wink: I just started having a little piece of cake and only a bite or two and then just put it down or get it to the garbage if you can.

    You are in charge and sometimes just telling them that you just can't eat this or that anymore gets them to lay off. I have a lot of obesity in my family and I have found that by sticking to my goals and not allowing myself to buy into the excuses has not only helped me but my family is starting to make changes now too.

    It isn't always easy but you have to be strong for yourself!
  • jdg1mfp
    jdg1mfp Posts: 103
    They only want to see you happy. Many people find joy in eating but because we are all different it may have negative effects (Gaining massive weight) on some of us. Next time you are around them, invite them to go for a run/walk or go to a gym with you to share some of your joy.
  • paniolo5
    paniolo5 Posts: 186 Member
    Don't beat yourself up...many of us have been there. It's really hard to stand up to those around you, especially when there are a lot of them! The good news is you're back on track starting today. Prayers going up for you!
  • Holton
    Holton Posts: 1,018
    Been there, done that and probably will again; as have so many others here on MFP. Glad you recognize it and can move forward. Today is a new day and you know you can do this! Kudos for getting back on track!
  • flutterqueen04
    flutterqueen04 Posts: 278
    Oh man that sucks! I think they think those comments are what you want to hear, like they want to tell you its ok to be bad for those "occasions" because you want to hear it. But you know you better than them and if you don't want to eat something you don't have to, occasion or not. Don't feel bad, we've all hit that bump at some point or another. You just have to learn from it and stand your ground so next time you can say. "No thank you" and if they keep persisting say "thanks for trying to make me feel ok eating it but honestly its not that I CAN'T eat it, I just DON'T WANT TO eat it." and smile the "enough said" smile, haha.

    I am sure you will get those pounds off. They could just be water retention and bloating from sugar and sodium intake that most likely was in the junk food. Just drink water like its going out of style. It will probably take a few days but you might be able to get rid of that. :)
  • ColeyCannoli
    ColeyCannoli Posts: 147
    Oh, I've so been there. Even got very sick once because of all the "fun" people convinced me to have. You should be proud that you jumped right back on track without giving up! Keep trying and you'll get there. :)
  • ari_27
    ari_27 Posts: 88 Member
    I know exactly how you feel abd where you're coming from. Just yesterday I had the same issue, being around my family for easter and just getting pressured into eating. I ended up cracking and went on an intense binge for the first time in 2 months. Its so frustrating bc you would think the people that care about you would want the best for you and would help you eat healthier, unfortunately, most people don't get it. They complain that you have to have your own separate menu and its extra work, etc. But we don't have to be made feel guilty for wanting to take care of ourselves. I'm learning from yesterdays mistakes and then letting it go. I won't dwell on it any longer. I will continue this journey for me, and I will get stronger at standing up to people who try to sabotage me. Good luck and I will pray for you! I can use all the support myself!
  • TS65
    TS65 Posts: 1,024 Member
    Well...it certainly is a slippery slope. I fell off and then got ran over by the wagon. My birthday was April 14 and then I was on vacation until today. I had been doing so well with counting calories and being active, but friends and family seemed to have other ideas. Why is it that the people closest to you try the hardest to lead you astray? They found every (or any) excuse for me to not do the right thing. I heard "it's your birthday", "it's the weekend", "it's a holiday", "you're on vacation", "you've been doing so well, treat yourself", "It's only one day", "do it later", "make up for it tomorrow". etc. I really feel like it was sabotage in most cases. The worst part about it is that I didn't even enjoy all of the "treating myself". We ate out a lot and it wasn't even that good. The taste just wasn't appealing anymore. Cheese fries tasted like fat and salt, fried chicken tasted like grease, cake was a heavy block of sugar. I didn't like it, but I was eating what everyone else was having. I knew I was in trouble when I felt so bad that I stopped logging in my diary . They got me! I've regained three pounds in less than two weeks :-( My goal is to only lose one pound a week, so I set myself back almost a month. #%@!

    Today is my first day back at work and hopefully back on track. I don't want to completely blame anyone else for what i did because I should have said no and stuck to it. Next time, I will say "Auntie I love you to death, but NO I will not have more cake" Wish me luck, pray for me, light a candle...I can use all the help I can get.

    Technically, it's only attempted sabatoge. By going along with it, you allowed them to succeed and, in effect, sabatoged yourself. As you said, you "can't completely blame anyone else for what [you] did because [you] should have said no.

    Don't beat yourself up over it, but understand you can only be sabatoged if you allow it.

    Good job on getting back on track!
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    It can be hardest to say no to family. Last year I went on vacation with my family and thankfully my cousin had gastric bypass surgery the same time I'd started my "journey" so I knew between the two of us, we could stay on track. It was hard at times with goodies around and their not-so-healthy food choices at the grocery store (buying meals for all of us to have) but I exercised every day, said "no thanks" more than some of my family members liked, and stayed on track as best I could and ended up losing 2 pounds!

    It is possible to stay on track if you really put your mind to it but it is tough to say no to Grandma's special cake or pie that you love so much. Especially when good times/good memories are mixed in with that dessert. So have a small piece and say no thank you to 2nds and eventually they'll get over their hurt feelings and be proud of you for doing so well.

    And if you can't do that, just be sure to get back on track as soon as you can!!
  • thrld
    thrld Posts: 610 Member
    The intent is not sabotage. It's just we tend to celebrate holidays and birthdays with food. And rewards with food -- who hasn't thought "It's been a bad day, I deserve that donut" , or "I've done XYZ -- let's go out to dinner to celebrate!"

    Just like we need to re-program ourselves to stop thinking of food as a reward, we also need to put a little effort into getting that point across to our friends/family. Because not a long time ago, their suggestions might have been met with enthusiasm - they need to be gently brought up to speed with our new outlook on healthy eating.

    Be upfront and say what you want (not what you don't want/can't have) -- "You know what I would like to do to celebrate? Let's go dancing! Or, "French fries? You know, what I'd really like is grilled fish!"

    If you are enthusiastic, they will stop seeing your new eating habits as being limited or as you denying yourself the pleasure of food. If they see your enthusiasm and enjoyment of healthy food, then they will feel like they are celebrating with you.


    [And in regards to falling off the wagon -- don't beat yourself up. We learn by trying, making mistakes, and trying again. And also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!]
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