All MOMS PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Cassiet
Cassiet Posts: 80 Member
in Motivation and Support
Ok I have a 2 yr old and a almost 7 yr old both boys. I am sooooo frustrated with the tantrums no not with the 2 yr old with the almost 7 yr old! I always tell him to us his words....
Is this normal if so what do you guys do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol

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  • Cassiet
    Cassiet Posts: 80 Member
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    Ok I have a 2 yr old and a almost 7 yr old both boys. I am sooooo frustrated with the tantrums no not with the 2 yr old with the almost 7 yr old! I always tell him to us his words....
    Is this normal if so what do you guys do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol
  • EvilPIB
    EvilPIB Posts: 334 Member
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    How long has this being going on for?
  • Cassiet
    Cassiet Posts: 80 Member
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    I don't even know anymore, he understands and seems to feel bad when it's all said and done and then the next time something doesn't go his way, he throws a fit. After countless times of him telling me that next time he'll just explain to me why something is making him mad so we can figure out a way to solve it together
  • j_g4ever
    j_g4ever Posts: 1,925 Member
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    With the two year old i would ignore them until they can act the way you want them to act. I have left stores before without anything just the kids because they were acting up. With the 7 month old I don't know what I would do. Im sure he might be doing it because he sees his little brother doing it. But maybe you can do the same thing and just ignore it. Its hard at first but it does get easier. :flowerforyou:
  • jenifergotti
    jenifergotti Posts: 325 Member
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    I only have a two year old. But do you do "time-out" ? As soon as Jace starts throwing a tantrum, I tell him to go finish his fit in time-out. He usually calms down pretty quick, cause he doesn't want to have to go in the other room. If he still throws a fit, I put him in time-out myself! Don't know if it will help, but it's worth a shot!! Why don't kids come with an instruction manuel??????
  • kgragert
    kgragert Posts: 5
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    Seven years of age may be a bit old for that behavior. You're in a tough place because you can't treat him like a toddler albeit he's behaving like one. There's no shame in consulting a behavioral specialist, especially when you're dealing with a child at such an impressionable age. Better to be safe than sorry and it's always a good idea to consult a professional when you just dont know what to do anymore. Going through something like this can take months, and develop into years of turmoil with your son. Handle it now, it'll be better for both of you.
    I also want to let you know that I have 3 children, so I'm not giving you an under developed opinion, and... I saw a behavioral specialist from the time I was about 4 until I was about 16... for various reasons, such as what you've mentioned, and I, to this day, think it's the best thing that my mom did for us. No one teaches us how to me moms, but we do need to know where to get the help when we need it.
  • o2byoung
    o2byoung Posts: 1
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    He wants attention. He doesn't care if it's negative, he just wants it. Ignore it. You also need to make sure your spending quality time with just him. Make Friday evenings your movie night, just him and Yourself.:smile:
  • kgragert
    kgragert Posts: 5
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    The thing here is his age. He's not a toddler and he can't be treated like one. At only eight years of age, the brain is still growing but the child is fully capable of reasoning and abstract thought. So to ignore his behavior could possibly be detrimental to his emotional development...
  • EvilPIB
    EvilPIB Posts: 334 Member
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    I agree, he can't be treated like a toddler because that will only make the situation worse. I have three kids and only one went through this. Talking to them sometimes help but there are times when an outsider can see things we are too close to see for ourselves.

    Have you tried looking at what is causing his outburst? I know you stated that it happens when he doesn't get his way but is there something else that could be causing it? Is he having any problems at school with other kids? Sometimes the things our kids go through outside the home affect the inside just as bad.

    If you still can't figure out what is going on I would see a professional. My oldest just went back to counseling because of stress with school and life in general.

    It could be something as simple as "jealousy" but until you get to the underlinning problem you may never now what's causing it. I had a similar problem between my 1st and 2nd child. My oldest had "only child syndrome" where she tried to completely overtake my time when I was dealing with her younger sister. It took over one year for her to feel secure in your position as the oldest but it was a rough year. I did a lot "cursing :grumble: " under my breath and out loud from the stress.

    It's better to catch this when they are young because the older they get the more difficult the problems become. Good luck because this isn't an easy problem to deal with.
  • LifeChanges42
    LifeChanges42 Posts: 636 Member
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    I have an 11 yr old (almost 12) a 2 1/2 year old and a 15 month old. The oldest 2 are girls and the youngest is a boy.
    I think I get the worst behavior out of my 11 yr old.

    She was the only child for so long. She had my undivided attention for so many years. She doesn't know how to share me. It also doesn't help that the 11 yr old has a different dad. Her dad and his wife lost a 4 week old baby girl about 6 months ago and ever since she has been so incredibly MEAN to her sister and brother. One day I gave her an 11 minute time out, the 2 1/2 year old also happened to be put in time out for 2.5 minutes. I pulled the youngest one out of time out first and explained to her what she did wrong. I waited until the 11 yr olds time was up before I pulled her out and I explained to her what she did wrong and why she was in time out a lot longer than her little sister. She then understood. That was the very first time I ever put my oldest in time out EVER. She was always such a good girl.

    I know she has told me she gets jealous A LOT... and she can't help it. I try to put the young ones to bed around 7pm and let her stay up until 8:30 or 9:00pm just so we can work in a little one on one time talking, cutting finger nails, watching a show or reading together just the two of us. That does seem to help. I have noticed when our time gets taken away for one reason or another she tends to act up a lot more.

    Sorry this was so wordy, but I hope it helps.
  • Cassiet
    Cassiet Posts: 80 Member
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    :wink: thank you all for your input it is all so helpful! I recently started working for the first time and he always tells me that he only gets to see me a little bit cause he goes to school all the time, I told him today that I expect him to act older and be able to talk to me like a big kid and behave like a big kid. And we're going to start family nights and date nights tomorrow the whole family is going to see bolt at the movies. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that he feels left out and misses the one on one time with mom, he's the sweetest little boy he has his moments though!!! lol thanks a bunch : ')



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  • destiny_206
    destiny_206 Posts: 430 Member
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    Yeah starting a new job is big stresser on a little kid, give him time and plan special times for attention, do not reward his negitive behavior, let him throw his fit, tell him when he is ready to talk to you calmly you will be there but that you are not going to talk about it while he is throwing a tantram. The more you give in to his tantrum the more esculated things will get, if you can just walk away clamly and talk to him calmly it should help him calm down and get back to using his words.
  • kelhun1
    kelhun1 Posts: 183 Member
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    We found a book called Parenting with Love and Logic...or maybe it's just called Love and Logic. Anyways, we have a 9 year old, but we started it at about 7 and I tell you what it was MAGIC! It is based on letting the child make decisions (empowering them). And yes, a tantrum is a decision, but it has consequences.

    When ours would start with the whining we would say something (calmly...this is key) like, "Boy all that noise is sure hurting my head. I don't think I can be around you right now, why don't you go to your room until you're finished. Feel free to come down when you can talk appropriately." I thought it sounded so hokey...but it worked. He would go pout in his room and come down in a better mood and best of all...I didn't have to hear him do it.

    I would recommend checking the book out though, it has lots of good ideas. It allows kids to make their own decisions even if it means making mistakes (how else are you going to learn), but it gives you ways to guide their decisions to what you really want. I feel like a calmer mom now and my son is a sweeter kid to be around.
  • stephiepoo
    stephiepoo Posts: 81
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    Tell him you will not listen to him while he's acting this way and ignore him until he calms down, then when he's calm sit with him and talk about what upset him and what he can do instead of throwing a tantrum. Tell him he shoudn't behave like this and if needed give him a time out. Soon he will get it.

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