I feel like I look SO much bigger than other women my age, h
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Hey there! We are pretty much the same shape, and by the looks of it you - like me - have a shorter torso and longer legs. It is difficult to ignore the 'straight up and down' shape which is so loved in the media, but we need to learn to love our curves which are the envy of posters here!
FWIW, I think you look amazing.0 -
Age: 22
Height: 5’8.5”
HW: 160 lbs
SW: 140 lbs
CW: 133 lbs
GW: 125 lbs
I would like to preface this post by saying I do not have an eating disorder. My sister was anorexic when she was a teenager and has been struggling with an eating disorder since. Ever since I began losing weight, many friends and family members have said “You’re not anorexic, are you?”, instead of celebrating my success with me. Let me just say, it’s quite annoying. I understand they are just concerned, but when I have been working my butt of at the gym and eating well, the last thing I want to hear is that I have developed an eating disorder. I have a healthy BMI and plan on keeping it that way.
Now that that’s out of the way... I can’t help but feel discouraged when I look at pictures of other women who have a similar build and weight and feel I look nothing like them. I understand that everyone’s body is different, but when someone my height looks ten times better than me when they are 20 lbs heavier, I must be doing something wrong. My boyfriend says I am crazy and that I look great, but he is too sweet and has said that since I met him two years ago and was a lot heavier. When we go out in public, he tries to find women who have a similar shape as I do so I can see what they look like. I always think they look way better than I do. Thoughts like “No way my thighs are that small!” and “Like I could fit into those clothes!” run through my head.
So, I ask everyone in the myfitnesspal community to please tell me how heavy I look in pictures, and what areas of my body could use some toning. I know this all must sound incredibly self-absorbed, and for that I truly apologize. I just want to be proud of my body and the hard work it took to get there, but I can’t seem to get over my negative self-image. At the same time, however, please don’t say positive things just to make me feel better. I want the truth, and I thank you so much in advance if you give it to me!
I feel the same way you do, as far as looking at other people my height and age and thinking, "God I'm built like a 50 year old woman!". I just feel so much heavier than most girls my age (though, having said that, most of my close friends my age are obese coincidentally). I am a few cm short of 5'6" and weigh 144. I'm 23 years old. I don't know my exact bodyfat % but based on how flabby I am, I'm sure it's staggeringly high. NOW, about YOU, I know this will mean absolutely NOTHING to you since you (no offense) have a skewed perception of how you really look (as I'm told, I do.), but I would KILL to look like you! YOU LOOK F**KING AMAZING! The only place I would even consider an "imperfection" would be that damn place under your *kitten* that all us women struggle to keep toned. But I am seriously in awe! Your arms are perfectly slim and toned, your stomach has not a jiggly bit of fat on it, your thighs are even and do not touch, no double chin....I honestly don't see anything to be unhappy about. Be glad you don't look like me! BE PROUD OF ALL YOU HAVE ACCOMPLISHED. YOU LOOK LIKE A MAGAZINE MODEL. I am so miserable over how I look that it's beginning to make me extremely unhappy and I cry sometimes because I feel I will never look as good as someone like you does, so be happy and grateful! And keep doing what you're doing because it's absolutely working, and you don't need to lose a single pound more! I know that you're going to do what you're going to do, but you do realize your goal weight will put you at the minimum for a healthy bmi? You don't want to be underweight, I'm sure!0 -
Maybe the curves are throwing you; you probably do have to wear different styles than someone who is built like a boy.
I think this is a large part of it. I am only 5'6" and weigh 135 lbs. I actually think we look quite similar in body composition, but the difference is my breasts are smaller and my hips are quite narrow (bone structure). I have a 28.5" waist and 35.5" hips.
You look pretty darn healthy now but perhaps you still have a higher than desired (for you to feel comfortable) body fat %. I know I would still like to lose a few more pounds of fat. Your upper body and arms look fabulous, IMO. It looks like you carry more weight in your butt/thighs/hips, but I think you should just keep eating well and working out and slowly drop a few more pounds and see if you feel happier. But try not to compare yourself to others. Everyone carries weight differently and you have no idea how they look without their clothes on.0 -
I think its not a body prob but a mind issue. A lot of people when losing weight never see themselves as they are but as they were. I was 250 pounds got to 170 and looked good but never felt like it did and now i look aqt those pics (had baby and bigger now lol) and just cant believe I never saw it. We are our own worst critic if you dont like how you look (which i think you look fantasic) then like another person said so some weight training maybe thats what you are wanting. But you look fantastic hun!0
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Your boyfriend is probably not telling you you're beautiful because he's your boyfriend and because he's sweet. He's telling you that because the typical male reaction to you should be somewhere in the area of "wow." It's often to take the opinion of a significant other for granted since we're often biased towards the one we love...but as an "objective" MFP member, I will attest to the opinion that you look extremely fit and healthy (things I feel are more important than pure measurements).0
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You look really good, I am 5'9 and can understand the feeling of being "Bigger" when I was younger I was 135lbs and lived in Japan for a year, I went through the phase that I never felt I was thin enough. I realized later in life, that I am tall. I will never be the same size as some of my friends that are 5'4. It took me a long time to learn this and now I embrace wearing heels now and love being tall!
Look beyond the scale, because at your height you have to focus on other measurements. Body fat % eating healthy and as many have said don't focus on losing more weight, you can focus on firming up the body you have at this point. You are beautiful!0 -
I know what you're going thru and it's not an eating disorder, nor is it low self esteem....I went thru(and still do at times) this, but what keeps me from obsessing about it is that I have a love for myself. I know I shouldn't look at other ppl and wish that my body was like theirs, but being realistic, sometimes I do look at ppl and say, "I wish my gut was that flat, or hope my thighs get there", truth is you are who you are and we have to love ourselves. We have to make sure that we are complete in ourselves before anyone else can. We can't let friends, a man, or the looks of complete strangers define who we are. Look at your personality, your sense of humor, and you values in life...THAT defines us...you know that you have worked it the hell out to get the body that you have and it wasn't easy...be proud of YOU 4 YOU!!! Know that you rock and that this life is not a competition, but that we've all got to get to where we want to be for US no matter WHO likes it or not. You can get all the congrats in the world from your friends and the ppl who are proud of you and are inspired by you on this site which is WONDERFUL...I love and appreciate the fact that I found this site for that reason among others, but at the end of the day...KNOW THAT YOU ROCK FOR YOURSELF! That being said, you have done an awesome job on yourself, I am proud of you and I congratulate you on a job well done. Now is the time for you to congratulate yourself because U R awesome!!!! Great job!:huh: :drinker: :smokin:
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Very seriously, you are built like Marilyn Monroe... and everybody knows what men thought of Her! However, if you insist on building more muscle, lifting weights and doing more cardio should do it!
Your boyfriend is correct: You are gorgeous! :flowerforyou:0 -
I'm a foot shorter than you and weigh more than you. I think you're boyfriend's right. You look gorgeous. If you'd like to tone up then fine but I think you don't 'need' to lose any weight and I would be ridiculously happy with your body.
Dont make the same mistake I did. Before I had kids and let myself go I was so hard on myself... And looking back on it I really had no reason. I should have been proud of myself and so should you!0 -
I saw your pictures and said "wow". You are my goal! Now as a woman, I understand what it's like to look in the mirror and not be satisfied - oh this is not toned enough, this is too lumpy, etc. But realize that you are you're own worst critic and many of us look up to you! Be proud and realize that you are being way too hard on yourself!0
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A lot of this has to do with the way you dress yourself. I am 23, but I have had a child also, which has stretched and widened my frame. Not to mention that when our society jams all this crap down our throats about being skinny and healthy every day, it is never good for self-esteem. If you don't already, watch What Not to Wear on TLC; that show has really helped me learn what clothing really flatters my body, and I feel incredibly sexy and awesome when I actually seek out clothing that suits me.
BTW, I totally envy your shoulders and collar bones! I've always had a really athletic build, so it's tough for me to be as narrow up top as you are.0 -
I was the same way at your age (I'm 31 now). I always thought I was huge compared to other girls and now that I look back I realize that it was all in my head. You have a *very* nice shape. It's easy to get caught up in comparing yourself to others but it's a losing battle. Maybe you could work on shifting your emphasis from what your body looks like to what it can do. Have you ever trained for something..like a 5k or a 1/2 marathon? Or played any team sports? I started playing soccer a few years ago and it did tons for me in terms of confidence. I started to view my body in a different way and it helped me let go of some of the body image issues I had.0
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You look great! I would kill to have your figure, I'm about 2 inches shorter then you and about 20lbs heavier, then your HW! You have all the right curves and waist line and everything.
Like everyone else all i could recommend is some toning. But you don't even NEED that. And listen to your man he is right!
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I think everyone has told you before (same posts different days) that you have a wonderful body and poor self image of yourself. I think you should stop looking to others for validity.0
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I think because it's a "feel" issue not so much your actual size you may be struggling with some body dismorphic disorder. That is NOT an eating disorder (but tends often to go hand in hand with them), more or a perceived body image issue where you think your body looks a way that it really does not. You may want to see a psychiatrist who can help you come to grips with your body image and how it's really kind of skewed.0
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I am not saying this just to be nice, but you have an AMAZING body!! Your stomach is flat, thighs don't touch, and have great curves with little to no fat, you have a very slim figure.
I know it is hard to see changes in yourself or even judge your body. I have a hard time too. Take a look at side to side pictures and you should see a difference.
Try toning your body and adding definition, take a weight class or get a weight bearing DVD.0 -
You need to compare your before and after pictures so that you can physically see the changes. I think you look great I'm 5'7 178 pounds aiming for 150 and I doubt I'll look as good as you but I'm okay with it as long as I'm healthy. Don't compare yourself with other woman and please stop bringing yourself down. You sound likes those skinny girls saying I'm so FAT ! Don't do that to yourself have confidence, love yourself. It sounds like people around you love you so try to get rid if all the negativity. Good luck!0
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You have a lovely figure! Great shoulders! Try to focus on something you love about yourself rather than the negatives. I think lots (most?) of women have some negative self-image issues but we really have to focus on the positives!0
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I think because it's a "feel" issue not so much your actual size you may be struggling with some body dismorphic disorder. That is NOT an eating disorder (but tends often to go hand in hand with them), more or a perceived body image issue where you think your body looks a way that it really does not. You may want to see a psychiatrist who can help you come to grips with your body image and how it's really kind of skewed.
I tend to agree. You look fabulous. When I lost a lot of weight as a te en I was fairly thin. I could have used toning but I thought I was as fat as I was before I lost 80 lbs.
Curves are healthy for you - very feminine. Try not to think of your weight in numbers. Think more of how healthy your body is.0 -
I agree with previous posters about seeking out therapy from a professional. It's not to say "you're crazy" or anything like that, but sometimes in life, many of us get to a point where we need some help to get past an issue. No shame at all in seeking help!
Since you are a student, you should have available to you a counseling center on campus that will provide some help to you at no charge. Try there, and if that doesn't work out for you, call your health insurance provider and get a recommendation for a therapist. Most insurance covers mental health treatment (some are limited, so you have to check on this). Sometimes with insurance, you have to get pre-approval for your sessions, so make sure you do that before or you could end up stuck with a therapist's bill that is a little pricey. I wish you all the best 0
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