why do people have to make you feel ****ty by saying no to f

People suck!!

Really though, I think people just don't understand. If they are the type of people who don't have to work to maintain a healthy weight then they see no harm in eating whatever tastes good. And, if they're the opposite..people who SHOULD be working to get to a healthy weight but just don't bother (ie: ME about four months ago! lol) then they don't really "get" why someone should go to the trouble to "diet" when they can just get whatever sounds good at the moment, even if its not healthy! At my old job, every Friday we ordered out, either from a local pizza, Mexican or a place that had the BEST pasta dishes...all not healthy, diet-friendly choices. In January I stopped ordering and they all got a little hateful about it.

I find that most people feel uncomfortable when someone else is making a choice that they might think is "better" than the choice they're making. My husband and I are both trying to lose weight and we find that people are pushy about us ordering out, etc. We don't just find it with food though. We're newly married, have lots of things to do and have decided to not have television. We like not having it, we get a lot more done now and it's just a simple choice for us. People get all defensive about it when they find out we don't have TV. They say things like "how do you not have TV?" or "well, yeah, I only have it for background noise" or "I really never watch it". Okay. Cool. No problem. People just feel uncomfortable when others make different decisions than they do. You keep doing what you're doing! You're doing the right thing for you!

I've had to compare myself to an alcoholic to some of my friends in order to get them to understand. Unless you were a monster, you wouldn't say to an alcoholic "C'mon, one's not gonna kill ya!" You just wouldn't. When they say they're on the wagon, you leave it at that, and praise them for their strength. And for whatever reason, not drinking is a life choice they NEEDED to make. It's the same with food for me. I can't just have a nibble, it would be a downward spiral. But I swear it doesn't stop people from constantly asking or saying "it's ok...just this once..." Ugh!

Even though you shouldn't have to explain yourself, you can politely just tell them that you are working really hard to make healthy food choices. It is a matter of respect. They need to respect your decision to eat well. Doing the right thing is not always easy, but it will pay off if you stay diligent. Hey, maybe one day some of them will join you.

A few random thoughts:

1. If you previously ordered out with the rest of your co-workers, and have since changed your food choices, they now may feel that you are shunning the friendship, not just the lunchtime routine. Who knows? maybe you are. Reassure your friendly co-workers that you're just eating differently, not that you are moving on to new friendships.

2. So many times, as we make the choices to eat more healthy food and live more healthy lives, we feel like we need to be on the defensive. Try the opposite approach--go on the offensive. With my co-workers, this was a huge help. With my mother, still a work in progress. LOL, Mom.

You are doing great; stand your ground!

I find that most people feel uncomfortable when someone else is making a choice that they might think is "better" than the choice they're making. My husband and I are both trying to lose weight and we find that people are pushy about us ordering out, etc. We don't just find it with food though. We're newly married, have lots of things to do and have decided to not have television. We like not having it, we get a lot more done now and it's just a simple choice for us. People get all defensive about it when they find out we don't have TV. They say things like "how do you not have TV?" or "well, yeah, I only have it for background noise" or "I really never watch it". Okay. Cool. No problem. People just feel uncomfortable when others make different decisions than they do. You keep doing what you're doing! You're doing the right thing for you!

AMEN! People do try to sabatoge you :noway: when it's something that is better for you and not for them. I don't think they do it conciously (or at least hope not :grumble: ) but it happens. Be proud that you are able to fend them off!! I'm proud of you!! Don't feel guilty- feel proud! :flowerforyou:

as far as not having a TV, I applaud you. :drinker: My husband and I have one but are only able to watch it every blue moon. We have decided there are much better things to do with our time!!

I concur... this is probably the most common reason, in my opinion:

They may not get it. When I think about my views on food before I started making healthier choices, I realize that food made me happy. Ordering something from a local restaurant was more enjoyable to me than bringing some "blah" food from home. And if I offered the menu to someone else and they declined, I would have thought it was a money issue. Never would I have thought they actually *preferred* the sandwich they brought from home. They may be pushing because they want to share that "happiness" with you. They may not realize that healthier choices make you feel better, in so many ways.

Or they could be pushing because they want you to be "the skinny one" in the office, hehehe.

I also like candy´s idea of trying the offensive... though they might not be excited about you ordering salads for them...

One thing I notice is that people like to see other people fail! It's a crappy thing that people do that but, they do. The best thing is to just say no thanks I have goals that I tend to keep! Continue staying strong!!!!