Emotional Eating? I cannot be the only one :(

i do, i am sure a lot of the people losing a lot of weight do too. you have to be in touch with the why you eat before you eat outside of a normal meal. or a bigger than necessary meal. which takes practice.

there was this day in august, i was at my moms on vacation, we had gotten my step dad to babysit and planned this night of mother daughter shopping and it was going to be so fun. on our way my grandpa, who is beginning demensia was walking the dog and wandered off. my step dad was panicking on the phone. when he found him the dog had tripped him and knocked him on his head. we rushed home and mom took gpa to the hospital. long story long... my step dad and i were fending for ourselves for dinner waiting for mom to get back and we kept eating and eating... at one point i looked at him and said "i just realized, i keep thinking if i eat the right thing it will make me get my night back"... and it was like, this revelation. because i am pretty sure i have never so clearly recognized what food is to me. i keep thinking if i eat the right thing i will get something i am missing. unfortunatly i dont always recognize what it is i am trying to replace. my guess its more than a night out with mom.

anyway the point to my long story is. i have been tracking now and losing weight since february. it took that whole time to get to the point where i started to be able to really read my motives. and it is still a process trying to figure out what the real root is to my overeating. i cant imagine i will finish this process anytime soon. but i can imagine what it would be like to know what it is i really want, and start focusing on that instead. for me i imagine it has something to do with security and human connection.. things i have never really felt.

my quote on my profile is "truth time" because this to me isnt all about getting skinny. i am more concerned with fixing the why i got like this. starting with shedding the physical part, and dealing with the mental as it comes.

i just realized i went on about myself a lot but i guess i was just thinking maybe relating was what you were looking for. and my advice is, be patient and be honest with yourself.

I also eat my emotions When I start feeling bad, I go hide and eat whatever the heck I want. I decided that I'm going to go back to journaling now to see if it helps out with my dieting. IE, before I pig out, I am going to write about what's bothering me.

I don't feel like I have a lot of support from my boyfriend, and he's pretty much all I have here in Texas, so its either my journal or the forums. (And the forums tend to just make me more upset when I talk about certain things that I need support on, such as when my boyfriend and I fight, and they tell me I should just leave him)