I want to love my body but it's so hard.

Exercise! No mention of exercise beyond physical therapy putting on muscle! Seriously, what is your feeling about exercise? How much do you do naturally? What do you *feel* like, when you're not thinking about how what you look like in the mirror shapes up to your expectations of how you should look? Do you feel strong, robust, full of life? No, then exercise is the key. Concentrate more on that! It will, given dedication, make you feel so much better than simply trying to slim down through diet.

Your family and friends do not sound like good influences when it comes to your weight! Actually, they're terrible, imo.

When you say you may have unrealistic goals, well that's a recipe for misery and failure. You already know this! What you are having trouble with is how to feel great and be healthy without negative body image. If you want people to notice and respond to you, dealing with the body image issues is way more important. Really. You'd be shocked to discover how much its all in the mind. Also, forget skinny. Some people suit skinny well but they're the minority.

I have a similar thing with my girlfriend having a bit of "Fun" with my weight. And I really don't like it very much. Thing is for me though, I live in Thailand and she is a Thai national. There is a different culture over here and to be honest if someone my age is overweight it tends to be seen as a sign of wealth. You have to be rich…you can eat enough to be overweight. So because of that I let it slide and try to ignore it.

I di tend to agree with the comments above that you are having more of a psychological battle than anything else. Look at your body and try to *kitten* the best your can POSSIBLY expect to be with your body type. Then look again and assess the best you can realistically be. Once you ahve done that work towards the best realistic body slowly by setting SMALL goals. Acheiviung them and setting another SMALL goal. Each one is a triumph. Sooner rather than later you will be well on the way to a happier state of mind because while acheiving all your smaller goals your body will begin feeling better and better all the time and this will, in turn, relieve the mental stress you are suffering from.

Slowly but surely one step at a time.

You need to find that love for yourself within you, and as hard as it is, try and ignore the negativity. I have a family that is the same way. A mother that actually seems disappointed when I lose weight because she wants me to be heavy like her. Sometimes when I lose more weight, I tell her hoping for some encouragement or positivity, but then I realize she won't change. As someone told me once, "you can keep returning to that same well but it will always be dry." So I've learned not to depend on and seek out her praise so much. I am making positive changes and doing something for my health. What others think shouldn't matter. It's a work in progress. I still struggle with my body image and worrying about what others think, but it's getting easier with time. I hope you're able to do the same. By the way, we ALL have things we don't like about our bodies. Try to focus on and emphasize the things you do like.

This is hard. I know it is. I struggle with this on a daily basis. I am one of those "Pretty Faces" that has some cute head shots, but thats it. From the shoulders down its Bleh!

I suffered from depression for this very reason. I felt that I had to hide behind a profile picture that showed only my face for the longest time because that was the only way that people would like me and even consider talking to me. Of course if I didn't love myself then how could anyone else?? I was the one who dodged pictures, or if my family wanted group photos I would hide in the back for that classic shoulders up view.

No one ever told me that I was too big or needed to lose weight, but thats probably directly connected to the fact that I didn't see many people. I usually just hid in my room. Going shopping for clothes was the most miserable chore. I hated events that required me to wear dress clothes, and almost considered being unemployed for the rest of my life so that I didnt have to purchase business casual clothes. Give me a tshirt and baggy pants forever.

I also worked my butt off and got down to 228. I got comfortable and turned one "cheat meal" into another string of excuses. Then I ballooned again to 251. The cycle returned... coupled with a cancer diagnoses and 2 motorcycle accidents leaving me out of commission for 3 months, the depression got really bad. I felt as if I was never going to be able to get back on the wagon and that I would just continue to get bigger and bigger.

I don't know what clicked, and I don't know how I got there.. but I finally decided that hiding was a waste of my time. I look the way I look, and there is nothing that I can do about that immediately. By that I mean, there is no magic pill that works overnight. If I wanted to change I would have to dedicate myself. I decided that I have to not necessarily LOVE my body, because that's impossible at this point, but I can accept that this is where I am at now. I had to make my goals my JOB. I no longer allowed excuses.

When you have a job or a responsibility, you have to do tasks to get to a result. At a job, you have to work to get paid. Monday through Thursday is draining, annoying, and dragging butt, but why do you do it? To get paid. That end result. I decided to apply that same concept to my body. I have been given a task, take this body and make it perfect, ideal, healthy, and everything that I want. It isn't easy, but you aren't going to get paid sitting around doing nothing. I made plans. I sat down and made a workout plan. Sure I can call in sick once in a blue moon, but after 2 or 3 times, I get fired. Make it part of your schedule. Instead of working 9-5, you work 9-6. That includes your hour of exercise, you aren't done until it is done.

I don't know if the same thing would work for you, but it did for me. I am on day 10 and I lost 3.8 lbs last week. I did have a little splurge last night, but I am back on track today. If people want to tell me I am overweight or my thighs look big, that's okay. They can judge me till they are blue in the face, I am working on fixing that. I have dedication and motivation.. unlike them, I am doing something to better myself.. they are rude, and probably always will be.

You can add me on here if you want extra support. I am dedicated and I post daily so hopefully I can help you.

I found I needed to love myself now. Not when I lose 5, 10 ,20 pounds but today. You need to look at yourself and accept your body for what it is even with the flaws. Genetically some of us will have bigger hips and thighs even if under weight. The only thing we can do is exercise to keep it firm and muscular. Just remember you are incredible at any weight.

I struggle with this same problem. I tried for years to lose weight and then all of a sudden something clicked and I lost 45 pounds in 2012. I've kept the weight off but I still have my stomach that i want to get rid of. and because of that I get so down on myself. I know that if i cleaned up my diet again i would be fine. When i originally lost all that weight I was very strict with myself and didn't allow the sweets, only once in a while, however now that i've been staying at the same weight i've begun to fall back into my old habits. I think "oh i'm working out, i can have that candy bar after lunch" but i can tell in my waist that I'm not the same. The scale may be the same but my shape is different. I want to love my body but I can't seem to convince my mind. I think for me it's because I feel like i've failed myself time and time again.
I remember how i felt great when I lost all the weight and everyone was saying how i looked so good and they admired my dedication to my workouts and sticking with my food plans. I felt on top of the world. NOW i feel like it's just another thing i do, like a job. I don't have the sense of accomplishment.