Intimidated by the gym!!!

Hi,

I am trying to start working out again, I don't have too much weight to lose but I want to get toned. I have been in a very intense graduate program and have not worked out seriously for about 3 years. The problem is, I am intimidated by the gym. I find that I am shy about doing any strength training but I know that is what I need. I can't put my finger on what exactly I am afraid of but I dread the weight machines. I am far too intimidated to use free weights.

I wish I could go to Lucille Roberts ( because it has only female members) but nearest one is about 35-45 mins away and in the opposite direction of my job/etc so it is not practical to go there.

I hope this is not a silly post, I am just looking for some support/advice from anyone who has ideas or who has experienced anything similar.

Thanks

Replies

KarenJanine

Could you hire a trainer for a few sessions to show you how to lift safely? Once you know what you're doing you may feel more comfortable to go it alone. And if you're ever unsure about something, just ask someone. Most people will only be too happy to help out.

SueInAz

Oh, I was there earlier this year. We have a very nice gym on my company's campus and it's only $50/year. I really wanted to start lifting because I know that cardio alone isn't the answer, but I was terrified of walking in there and asking for help getting started. Luckily, I mentioned my fears to a male friend and he offered to help. I just wish I had done that months before I did. Here's what I've learned in the last few months:

No one is watching you to see what you are doing. If your fear is along those lines, don't worry about it. They are far too involved in what they are doing to really pay attention to you. They aren't going to be judging you for being new to lifting, everyone there was at some point.
The people who work at the gym are more than happy to help. It's what they are there for, really. Talk to the people at the desk. If aren't qualified to help they should be able to get you someone who is.
If the gym offers a session or two of free personal training, use it. After the free session you can decide if it's worth it to you to pay for the service.
A lot of people here will tell you to skip the machines and use the free weights. I say, use the machines at first and get comfortable. Once your confidence is up you can switch to free weights if you want. I'm still mostly using the machines and I'm seeing lots of progress. It may not be as dramatic as if I were using the free weights (who knows?) but I'm happy with the results so far and any progress is still progress, right?
Don't be afraid to ask someone around you for assistance. You don't want to interrupt someone in the middle of a lift, of course, but most of the people I have talked to at my gym are more than happy to help by giving pointers or even helping me move the 45 pound plates onto a rack that's over my head (I'm short).

pinkiezoom

Hi there,
Well if it makes you feel any better i have ALOT of weight to lose, so dont worry you wont look as silly as me at the gym

I too was intimidated, but then i thought .... hold on, i need to take control here, i cant let how i "think" other people might perceive me ( which is usually all in our heads anyway ) stop me from doing what i want to do. So i manned up and joined, and yes it was awkward at first, but hey I have as much right as anyone else to be there, and you know what, see those super fit people who do free weights etc, the "intimidating" ones, they have been so friendly and helped me! given me advice about weights etc, to the point now when i go in, i pick up the 6kg dumbells and get on the treadmill with them, and I own that machine like a boss....well for the 15 mins i can manage with the weights lol. One guy even showed me how to use a weight chair better so i didnt hurt my back

Sad truth is, even those super fit bodies had to start somewhere, and they are usually pretty passionate about their lifestyle so will willingly help you, or if not help you i have never actually felt judged by them, i feel more judged in my local supermarket.
Come on, if i can do it, they you sure can hun. Put ya big girls lycra pants on, and dont let a stupid misconception put you off

pinkiezoom

or as another idea, how about looking into doing it at home?

JupeJones

You could just not go to the gym.

Plenty of ways to strength train right in your own living room, even if you don't have any equipment. For example, check out the book "Body by You", or the "You Are Your Own Gym" smartphone app, both from Mark Lauren.

lili61

I wish I had something easier to say, but really, you just have to get in there and do it and get over your fear.

I totally get it too, I've been there. If you want to lift, I would recommend finding a program to follow (I have done New Rules of Lifting for Women) and would really recommend that, but there are many others out there. If you have a plan, you will at least walk in knowing which exercises you will do.

Watch Youtube videos or hire a trainer for a few sessions to show you some of the exercises you're unsure about. But really, once you start, you'll get over your initial fears and wish you'd started ages ago.

Stephanie1120

All of these responses are really helpful actually and although I can't hire a trainer ( saving for a wedding) the suggestions of asking for help whether it be a book, youtube, other people etc. is a good idea. It didn't occur to me to do that, sometimes we get caught up in our own head and caught up making so many excuses the obvious isn't so obvious. I really appreciate everyone's advice. First thing I am going to do is load my ipod with music and just go to the gym and force myself to do a few weight machines. I think I will walk on the treadmill with weights too like pinkiezoom shared. As far as doing workouts at home, I always get interrupted by something but I think it's reasonable to add some sit-ups/crunches before bed.

Now the main thing is to just do it.

samammay

There are 2 types of guys in a weight room. The type that is there to do his own thing and doesn't care that you are there, what you are doing, how much you are lifting, etc. He is just another patron. And then there is the type that cares what you think of HIM. He might work a little harder hoping you notice how much HE is lifting or how he looks doing it.

No where in there is there someone who is judging you. Unless they are judging you by your presence - meaning if you are present, he is impressed.

When I see a woman in the weight room (and I do every time I am there) I think one of two things. If she is super fit I think "damn... she is awesome. Maybe someday someone will think that of me". If she is less than super fit I think "damn, she was here yesterday too. Awesome."

And of course I think "I hope no one notices I am only benching 75 pounds or if they do they say something so I can tell them I am recovering from surgery" - but thats my issue.

dwarfiegodsmack

i have been going to my gym for 4 weeks now. i have some fat to lose also but i just go in there and do my program (SL 5x5). there are sometimes a couple of girls in there and they usually use the free weights and cable machines. i am the only one (girl or guy) using the squat rack most of the time, which is perfect cuz i don't ever have to wait.

i feel pretty bad@ss in there! lol

hearthwood

Walk into the gym like you own it, go over to the weight machines and do it. No one is watching you, or cares. If you're doing something wrong, someone may say something to help you along the way.

brdnw

everyone is timid their first few times at the gym, i was too before i really got into it, i just read a lot on fitness websites and tried to educate myself so i knew what to do at the gym. Once you get in the rhythm of continually going and get comfortable with all the exercises it just starts to feel like a place that you belong and that anxiety about it goes away pretty quick.

dbmata

It helps to go in having a plan.

unknown

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TheRoseRoss

I think that step 1 is to get in there, and get over the anxiety of it. Once you've become acclimated to being in the gym, and seeing the regular faces, you will become far less self-conscious.

Once you're comfortable, THEN start really trying to focus on your workouts. We make some ugly faces when we work out, IF we're doing it properly. Because the point of it is to exert force to break down our bodies so it is rebuilt better than before. I've seen people "working out" whose facial expression was that of someone folding laundry. That kind of "work out" is wasting your time. So get comfortable with the people in the gym by going regularly, and then you won't be embarrassed by people seeing your "O" face.

Once you're good with making "funny faces," get the blueprints of what you're going to do each day. You don't build a house with guesswork, & building your body is the same. Talk to a trainer, use a search engine, or jump on youtube.

Keep a log book to track your progress. I wasted months when I first started exercising, thinking that I was pushing myself. 3 months in, I was still lifting the same weight as when I began. Once I realized "I've been doing the exact same thing for 3 months," I was able to force myself out of the rut that I didn't know I was in, and forced myself to get a little bit better each time.

1. Go to the gym. Get comfortable with the environment, and with the people in it
2. Get accustomed to the equipment, where it's located, what is usually free and what is usually taken, and plan your day accordingly. And learn to love your "O" face
3. Look up routines, and don't get set in "I'm doing this, so I'm not even going to waste my time looking at something else." There is also more to learn. There are always adjustments to be made.
4. Hold yourself accountable: track your progress so that you know when you're stagnating.

Good hunting.

SueInAz

BroNyeTheScienceGuy wrote: »

If a trainer isn't an option, Google some weightlifting plans for beginners, also look up how to do the lifts in the plan, read some articles about how to adapt plans for yourself, and just go do your thing. Start light, focus on learning good form. Try not to focus on the people in the gym. They are there to work on themselves. You work on you. Be safe, get as much knowledge as possible. Reap gains.

Good advice. If you decide to go it on your own, start with lighter weights and make sure you're getting the form right. That was one issue that worried me and kept me from starting; I was worried I'd hurt myself. The machines help a lot with that respect. Once you're more comfortable and confident you can work on impressing the people around you with your strength.

La5Vega5Girl

i used to feel the same way - now, i LOVE heavy lifting in the free weights right in front of the men! guess what? some even give me pointers! and that is very helpful. i HATED to work-out at the gym, i was so embarrassed, so intimidated by the "fit" people, and even hated walking on the treadmills! but i did it anyway. i figured, everyone has to start somewhere. i had a trainer from the gym show me around and tell me how to use everything. (if i look lost, someone will usually lend a hand and not make me feel stupid.) the most important thing is to GET IN THERE and IGNORE your feelings! it does get easier. the machines are easy to use once you get used to them. personally, i prefer the co-ed gym because i get pumped by watching the guys lifting really heavy, and also seeing powerful women working-out right next to them. makes me feel strong! take your power and use it! (*)

yoovie

The best way to eliminate gymtimidation is by being prepared. It's easy to be brave if you are prepared and have a plan. Do you understand the programs associated with weight room workouts? Do you know what to do with the equipment? Do you know which kinds of moves and machines you need to reach your goals? Do you understand what you want? When you say toned - do you mean eliminate some body fat so your lean strong muscles are slightly visible? That means lifting weights and watching your nutrition carefully. You can definitely get that in the weight room and with cardio balancing - but you are absolutely going to feel scared and out of place for as long as you don't have a plan of your own.

dcc56

I figure most of the people at my gym are too busy looking in the mirror at themselves. If they do look at me they usually come by later and say hi, ask if I am new and then say, good for you that you are here and offer to help me anytime! Shocker I know! (I must have a sign on my back that says I am a friendly guy or something) I also hired a trainer to help me get started, now I know my program and know what I am doing....I used to feel like I was the real elephant in the room...not anymore. I know I need to get there as often as I can and I do! They see me often enough, they know I am committed. And I am. Good luck, now get going!

cwolfman13

yoovie wrote: »

The best way to eliminate gymtimidation is by being prepared. It's easy to be brave if you are prepared and have a plan. Do you understand the programs associated with weight room workouts? Do you know what to do with the equipment? Do you know which kinds of moves and machines you need to reach your goals? Do you understand what you want? When you say toned - do you mean eliminate some body fat so your lean strong muscles are slightly visible? That means lifting weights and watching your nutrition carefully. You can definitely get that in the weight room and with cardio balancing - but you are absolutely going to feel scared and out of place for as long as you don't have a plan of your own.

I was pretty much going to say this ^^^

itsbasschick

most gyms here offer a free session with a trainer. hopefully some of your gyms do, too - because you can request the trainer show you how to use the various machines. but a lot of gyms also have a sign on each machine showing how to use it, so worth checking for when you go on a tour of any gym.

a friend of mine actually had the gym sales rep show her how to use some of the machines she wasn't sure about while she was getting the tour. he seemed happy to do so, and she joined and likes the gym, so that worked perfectly.

viraurelianus

afraid of what? just force yourself and after 2 or 3 times you will feel at home.

JenAndSome

The easiest way to get over being intimidated about the gym is to have a purpose to be there. If you just walk in without a plan you will be much more likely to leave dissatisfied and not like it and quit. Look into a lifting program. The popular ones are Starting Strength, New Rules of Lifting and Stronglifts. Pick one and then either watch a ton of videos on form or meet with a personal trainer to show you how to lift so you don't hurt yourself...which would also lead to quitting. And remember, you have just as much right to be there as anyone else.

JeffseekingV

Set goal, set workout plan to achieve goal. go to gym and execute plan. Screw everyone else.

Plain fact is if you are "comfortable" you won't push yourself. It's good to put yourself out of your comfort zone to get your workouts to another level

JoRocka

go at low volume hours- so don't go at 6 PM on a Monday- you'll be overwhelmed.

Start by going Friday night- Saturday afternoon (like 2-3) or Sunday any time after noon- well Sundays are usually good any day.

do some research on lifting ahead of time (starting strength- strong lifts, new rules of lifting, strong curves- or a basic split from bodybuilding.com)

have a plan- write it down ahead of time

go to the gym

head phones in
lift
be fabulous
go home

jb19692000

Go swimming 2-3x a week.
Few warmup lengths. Then do each length fast and rest. Maybe 25 lengths (up to you).

Watch some videos on stretching.
Find out where you are weak on flexibility or range of motion or niggling injuries - example would be very tight hamstrings and poor hamstring flexibility = guaranteed back injury at some point. Tight hamstrings alter the pelvic angle and WILL lead to back injury eventually (even without weight training).
Learn how to lift ANYTHING off the floor, in terms of not rounding your back even when lifting the mat. Strengthening the lower back with a swiss ball.

Start weight training at home.
Buy some cheap dumb bell weights & a decent step to handle your weight.
Watch some videos very carefully, copy, repeat.
Do dumb bell curls, over head press, bent over 1 arm rows, step ups with dumb bells etc.
Keep reps at 15-20 initially, then work down to 12-15.
Put your fave music on.
Now go watch the videos again and see where your form is not correct. Repeat.

You will get conditioned and gain confidence - in how to perform certain exercises.

Understand how to do key compound exercises.
Too much fuss made on lots of little exercises, frankly the few compounds done well for 2-3 years makes all the difference - you have a life to stay healthy remember.
If you like sprinting, lift the knees (longer stride) and practice the acceleration. Not one for long distance running (we invented wheels, ok, I am a male ex oly wl :-)

People under-estimate how strong you can get with weekly repeated sprints & dumb-bell step ups. Visualise a girl with a bicycle pump insert to inflate the thighs, bum & abdomen - then vacuum cleaner to remove all but a 1/16 to 1/8in layer of fat. Like a swiss ball :-)

All females take longer pushing above their head - your traps etc tend to be very weak, and likewise lat pull downs very weak. So take your time.

Aside mainly to males: beware getting strong at free weights for years, and rotating to machines, you can get stung shifting the stack and then get injured because they stress things differently and often badly. Seen that happen (and done it myself) when in a hurry and no free weights available. Free weights are actually safer than machines.

Wheelhouse15

The majority of people you will find in the gym are the same type of people who post here. I remember being intimidated years ago the first time I went to a gym but most people will be glad to help you and those who either judge you or don't want to help are people you won't care to talk to anyway but will generally not bother you.

Once you've been there a week or so you will realize that everyone there is just an ordinary person that you see everywhere else except they are working out rather than shopping, eating or working. You'll feel at home in no time and then your only issue will be waiting for a particular dumbbell of for a bench or rack to open up.

jb19692000

Oops, forgot, you also need SLEEP.
Destroy in the gym, body rebuilds in sleep.

Alcohol is your enemy too, ruins skin, bodies (empty calories).

Protein should also not be ignored, universally culture has become protein-light & sugar-heavy as an easy and CHEAP way of hitting the calorie figures.

kimekakes28

I know the feeling! When I joined the gym last year, it took me six months to go to the other side and use the weights. It sounds foolish now, but sometimes you do feel like everyone is watching you. Now I do my cardio and walk my happy butt over to the free weights and get to work. You actually will get straight looks if you are hogging equipment and NOT working out.

ashleigh315

I also know the feeling! I agree with everyone who said have a plan. That hopefully will help with confidence and feeling a little more like you know what you're doing. The hardest part (for me anyway) is going over there the first time. Each time will get a little easier and hopefully you'll feel a little more comfortable each time