trouble with the mirror?

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salgal33
salgal33 Posts: 49 Member
in Motivation and Support
Do you have trouble looking at and believing the mirror?
I am down 36 pounds and 4 pants sizes. The logical part of me knows I have lost a fair amount of weight for my size. I know I look better than I did at 185
And yet, when I look in the mirror, all I see is the muffin top, the too-thick thighs, etc.
I actually start to wonder if this is the kind of self talk and observations that can lead to an ED?

When or how can I start loving myself where I am? I am fine in public...just when it's me and the mirror I get in a funk.
I do have a very supportive SO that adores me no matter what.

Did you deal with this? How did you get over it?

Replies

  • jrline
    jrline Posts: 2,353 Member
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    Pictures are better for me than the mirror.

    29509743.png
  • tibby531
    tibby531 Posts: 717 Member
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    I got over that when I gave up for a moment and started regaining the weight. then all of a sudden, I missed "that other girl," even though I never truly recognized her.
  • ThePhoenixIsRising
    ThePhoenixIsRising Posts: 781 Member
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    jrline wrote: »
    Pictures are better for me than the mirror.

    29509743.png

    This with the head cropped out. I can be more objective if I don't see my face in the pic.
  • maradanielle
    maradanielle Posts: 47 Member
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    I look in the mirror and still expect to see them from 4 years ago... pictures of me to this day surprise me with how different I look... But I am happier with my body and self. :)
  • CaitlinW19
    CaitlinW19 Posts: 431 Member
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    jrline wrote: »
    Pictures are better for me than the mirror.

    29509743.png

    Agree. Take a look at some old pictures and some current pictures. I've often looked back at pictures from times when I've felt I looked "fat" and come to realize I looked great and would love to be at that weight again. That has helped me set a weight goal that is quite a bit higher than most women my height. I know where I actually "look good".

    I've always struggled with body image and I've also found it so so healthy for me to only weigh once a week...I have to look to the fit of my clothes, really watch my body for changes and focus on how I feel instead of what's going on with the number on the scale. I never had an issue with the daily ups and downs of weighing, but I have found a really positive difference in my body image focusing less on the number.
  • skippygirlsmom
    skippygirlsmom Posts: 4,433 Member
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    I think it just takes time. Put up an older picture of yourself on your mirror then when you are looking and thinking you don't look awesome, you'll see what you looked like at 185 and KNOW you are awesome.
  • scg17
    scg17 Posts: 88 Member
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    I have been worried about this lately. I have 7 lbs til goal, but I'm at a healthy body weight. I am more critical than before. For me, having numbers (measurements, not weight in pounds), is helping me. It's hard though.
  • AnnofB
    AnnofB Posts: 3,585 Member
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    Yes. It is always a bit of a surprise when I look in the mirror and can see my weight loss. And when clothes shopping, I used to go back to the XL's and 14's and 16's. Surprised somehow when they didn't fit. I've gotten better about that now though. I still grab 3 sizes just in case because different designers use different sizing, just to throw us off, I guess. Men are lucky. Everything is by waist and length.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    jrline wrote: »
    Pictures are better for me than the mirror.

    29509743.png

    I will have to agree. Nothing shows progress like pictures at your worst and best.

  • onefortyone
    onefortyone Posts: 531 Member
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    You have to learn to love yourself and your body - it is not something that automatically happens when you lose weight or change your hair or buy new outfits. You have to STOP saying horrid things about yourself when you look in the mirror and say positive things instead. Praise yourself endlessly. About everything, looks related, goal related, fitness related, life related.
  • stealthq
    stealthq Posts: 4,298 Member
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    I do this. I focus on the couple of pounds of fat remaining at my midsection even though the rest of me is pretty lean.

    It's not that I think I look bad, but I know I can do better thanks to the amazing folks here who post incredible after pics and their stories. So I'm working towards that. And that's good, because it gets me off my butt and to the weight room, and got me started running.

    But a not-so-nice side effect is that I'm not happy with where I am now, even though I should be. I think it's because I'm in an in-between phase. Much better than I was. Not yet matching up to my vision of what I want to be.

    Maybe you're seeing yourself as a work in progress, too?
  • VelveteenArabian
    VelveteenArabian Posts: 758 Member
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    A muffin top is 100% fixable. It's from your clothes being too small. Not trying to be a jerk, but that's how it is.

    Dress in things that fit you well and look nice. If you create a prettier image for yourself to look at, you'll feel better about what you see.
  • cstevenson86
    cstevenson86 Posts: 158 Member
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    I look in the mirror and see the same person. I have lost 11 pounds. I have 104 pounds to go. (Sigh) But, people keep telling me I look great...asking if I've lost weight...it blows my mind. I see NO difference. I guess we are just used to seeing ourselves as heavy, we don't give our mind a chance to actually see the changes that have occurred; big or small. I'm trying to be more objective when I look at myself, I'm trying to see what others see. I think our minds are playing tricks on us, because we are used to looking a certain way. Good luck to you on your journey!
  • bwogilvie
    bwogilvie Posts: 2,130 Member
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    Pictures are great. One thing to beware of with mirrors is that they can literally distort your self-image. Some wall-mounted mirrors will sag if the glass isn't thick enough. If they are mounted at the top and bottom, but not on the sides, they'll sag outwards, producing a convex mirror that will make you look shorter and wider, like a funhouse mirror. The effect is usually quite subtle but I have noticed it in one or two of my mirrors over the decades. It's better when a freestanding mirror sags in a concave form and you look taller and thinner. :D
  • LAH3001
    LAH3001 Posts: 9
    edited October 2014
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    I did become more aware of my body's appearance when I was down to my ideal weight (YEARS ago). I think it was because I'd spent so much time training it and sculpting it that the look of it became too much of a focus. It was very easy to fall into. All those mirrors at the gym didn't help, either.

    So when I found myself being critical of my body, I'd try to counter anything critical I said with something I liked.

    I also tried to remember that I was doing this for my overall health, and not just my appearance. Health encompasses so many things. So I would shut my eyes to see how my body felt--whether it felt sturdier, more energetic, flexible, toned, etc. I'd remind myself I was doing it for that feeling, too.

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