Tryting to motivate my fiancee

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missymac97
missymac97 Posts: 4 Member
in Motivation and Support
I've been on my weight loss journey for over a year now and have lost roughly 70 lbs. The result have been fantastic but I just can't seem to convince the boy he needs to come with me to the gym. He doesn't need to lose a ton of weight and has only gained 20 lbs since we started dating and it's all from beer. I just want him to be active and healthy and it seems like no matter what I say, he finds an excuse. Any tips or suggestions?

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  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
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    Just lead by example. If you cook healthy meals for him, continue to do so. Ask him to do other active things like go on a hike or bike ride or something other than the gym. I started this journey 3 months ago today and my husband just started going walking on his lunch breaks without any nagging from me. He sees me working on myself and has been inspired to do it too! But he's got a few more than 20 pounds to lose, so I can see how your fiancee might not be into the gym if he's already in decent shape!
  • SiltyPigeon
    SiltyPigeon Posts: 920 Member
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    You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him exercise.

    It is up to each individual person to decide they want to make this very big life change on their own. You can't do it for someone else and you can't force another person to do it. Trying might make you seem controlling. Maybe he's happy just the way he is; and if so, good for him! With some people... the more you push one way the more they pull the other.
  • paperbagprincess
    paperbagprincess Posts: 76
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    My guy does the same thing. I just keep pushing him in a nice, polite way. Cuz sometimes that DOES work. Seems like a lot of guys are intimidated by the gym. My bf has said if he had a treadmill at home he'd use it every day cuz he just doesn't like being at the gym with lotsa ppl around. He's followed me in my food choices tho! He eats A LOT healthier now!

    What can I say... baby steps I suppose. But maybe find an activity that he may like. Say a sport he's into? I can get my bf to go out and play ball any day of the week.. at just about any time!
  • jackal75
    jackal75 Posts: 95
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    My wife said that starting her weight loss was nearly as hard as starting to quit smoking....

    For me, I wasn't remotely interested until I saw a photo of me (which you see beside this post coincidentally) that shocked me into it....

    The point is that he has to WANT to. You may or may not be able to sway him. The gym is a huge step for most people, as paperbagprincess mentioned. You might try making your outings with him more active like walks, skating, canoeing, and such that are fun but much more active. Going out for movies and dinners are nice, but you are on your butt most of the time eating. Hiking to a nice scenic spot for a light picnic made up of healthy foods might be a thought.

    I still hate the gym for the most part... but luckily for me I have made the life changing decision to do it anyway.

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