Why aren't I losing any weight?

I admit to not being the healthiest eater. I'm a single mom raising an Autistic son, I work from home and also homeschool him. One would think with all that "home" stuff that I have time to plan and shop and make elaborate meals, but it's the opposite. With his Autism, my son is extremely picky and only eats 7 things, so I'm making two separate meals for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Drive thru (since 2 of his 7 are chicken nuggets and fries) had become a staple on nights I didn't feel up to making him the "healthier" versions. As such, we generally did take out at least 3 times a week. This has stopped. Soda has stopped. Cookies or cake every morning with coffee has stopped.

But I'm not losing any weight. My first week I gained a pound and now I've lost it.

I average 9-10 glasses of water a day. I don't ever go over my total goals (in fact I'm under, because I just can't eat this much). I'm concerned because my BMR has a total number that's 500 calories higher than MFP goals state for me on a day to day basis.

What can I do to get these pounds to start coming off?! Note, I'm mostly sedentary. I don't have time for the gym and I've got some health problems that make at home work outs not so easy. Hence why I'm doing this.

Can ANYONE help me? I'm desperate, but not willing to do things the wrong way.
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Replies

  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,603 Member
    If you can't exercise, you must eat less. Everything everyone talks about boils down to Eat Less and/or Move More. If you can't do the latter, you must do the former.

    And seek your health advice from a doctor, not a computerized formula you found online.
  • trinatrina1984
    trinatrina1984 Posts: 1,018 Member
    As long as you are eating at a calorie deficit unless you have an underlying medical condition you should be losing weight.

    Firstly if you're not already you should get yourself a food scale and weigh / log everything accurately - you may be eating more than you think.
    - I personally don't think eating below your BMR is a great idea, I as many others do started out eating 1200 and was left feeling dizzy, lethargic etc which is not great when your looking after a kid, eat somewhere between your BMR and TDEE and you should lose weight.
    - Be patient, it takes time.
    - Also could you try and make healthier versions of the less healthy food your son likes? and maybe make up batches of it and freeze it so its ready to go?
  • eldamiano
    eldamiano Posts: 2,667 Member
    Just because you arent eating cookies, doesnt mean you arent eating at a calorie deficit....
  • JoeCWV
    JoeCWV Posts: 213 Member
    Are you logging your food? If not start. If you have your account set up I would recommend setting it to lose .5 pounds a week. Once you are logging (and losing) adjust to a higher loss rate if you wish. If you are logging now, are you weighing and measuring? If not start.
  • DavePFJ
    DavePFJ Posts: 212 Member
    Burger King has really cheap chicken nuggets now. You can get 40 for 6 dollars.
  • xcalygrl
    xcalygrl Posts: 1,897 Member
    Do you weigh or measure everything you eat or drink? This includes: milk/creamer and sugar in your coffee, chips, nuts, crackers, rice, vegetables, fruit, bread, meat, etc.. If you don't that is most likely your problem. It is easy to overeat and underlog, which could "eat away" at your calorie deficit causing you to stall or even gain weight. (Weigh all of your solid foods and use measuring cups/spoons for liquids.)

    If you do measure and weigh everything, make sure you are using accurate diary entries. Some of MFP's entries are "user generated," which aren't always correct. Before you log something, double check that the numbers are right. You can do this by looking at the label of the item or checking the USDA's food database. I actually figured out that I was using an inaccurate entry for my lunch everyday. It doesn't seem like much, but I was actually eating about 400 calories more per week than I was recording because I was using an incorrect entry.

    If you do all of the above, and you are truly eating in a deficit, it might be time to schedule a doctor's appointment. You can bring in your food log, talk to him/her about your lack of weight loss, and ask for a full blood work up. You may have a thyroid issue or some other undiagnosed medical issue that is making weight loss difficult.
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,151 Member
    Can you open your diary? To lose, you need to eat at a deficit and you must weigh and measure your food for accurate logging.
  • gabrielleelliott90
    gabrielleelliott90 Posts: 854 Member
    I have two friends, one has aspergers, the other has asperger like traits. A form of autism. Now they are not really ill with it, but they are quite eccentric just in their personality. Autism would be very difficult to live with, is there anyway your doctor could convince your son to eat maybe one more type, something healthy? Other than that, if not, please log your calories, and aim for 1200. That should get your losses started. Junk food doesn't go too far for 1200 calories, so you won't have to eat much junk.
  • deejayoh77
    deejayoh77 Posts: 14 Member
    I think people are mistaking me and I don't really appreciate the snarky tone of some of the comments, when we're all supposed to be here to help.

    I do log. Every day. On average I'm getting about 1160-1220 calories per day which is about 250-300 under what the MFP goals say I should have daily. When I mentioned the BMR calculator, it was because that says I should be eating Much More than even the MFP goals state.

    I don't eat junk, since I started doing this. I eat chicken and fish (portion controlled and weighed), oatmeal, fruit, avocado, salads with no dressing, etc. That's why I'm frustrated and what led me to put my anxieties aside and post to ask for help from someone(s) who may have gone through this too.

    Also, not everyone has a doctor, unfortunately. I happen to live in a state where even with the healthcare reform, it's not as doable and affordable to people who don't have a lot of money. I check my blood sugars and bp at home, weigh myself at home.

    And for those wondering, my son's weight and diet are fine, as thankfully he is fond of fruits as part of his 7, and HE has health care.
  • deejayoh77
    deejayoh77 Posts: 14 Member
    Liftng4Lis wrote: »
    Can you open your diary? To lose, you need to eat at a deficit and you must weigh and measure your food for accurate logging.

    I can open it to you if you think you may be able to help me and aren't looking to make cracks about BK (which wouldn't be on there anyway). I prefer to not leave it open for all to see.

  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,603 Member
    deejayoh77 wrote: »
    I think people are mistaking me and I don't really appreciate the snarky tone of some of the comments, when we're all supposed to be here to help.

    I do log. Every day. On average I'm getting about 1160-1220 calories per day which is about 250-300 under what the MFP goals say I should have daily. When I mentioned the BMR calculator, it was because that says I should be eating Much More than even the MFP goals state.

    I don't eat junk, since I started doing this. I eat chicken and fish (portion controlled and weighed), oatmeal, fruit, avocado, salads with no dressing, etc. That's why I'm frustrated and what led me to put my anxieties aside and post to ask for help from someone(s) who may have gone through this too.

    Also, not everyone has a doctor, unfortunately. I happen to live in a state where even with the healthcare reform, it's not as doable and affordable to people who don't have a lot of money. I check my blood sugars and bp at home, weigh myself at home.

    And for those wondering, my son's weight and diet are fine, as thankfully he is fond of fruits as part of his 7, and HE has health care.
    What do you want to hear?

    OK, you can't go to the doctor.

    So, weigh your solids and measure your liquids and log every calorie that goes into your body. Find out how much you're eating.

    If you don't lose eating that amount, eat less.

    Since you cannot exercise, eating less is the only alternative.
  • brianpperkins
    brianpperkins Posts: 6,124 Member
    deejayoh77 wrote: »
    I think people are mistaking me and I don't really appreciate the snarky tone of some of the comments, when we're all supposed to be here to help.

    I do log. Every day. On average I'm getting about 1160-1220 calories per day which is about 250-300 under what the MFP goals say I should have daily. When I mentioned the BMR calculator, it was because that says I should be eating Much More than even the MFP goals state.

    I don't eat junk, since I started doing this. I eat chicken and fish (portion controlled and weighed), oatmeal, fruit, avocado, salads with no dressing, etc. That's why I'm frustrated and what led me to put my anxieties aside and post to ask for help from someone(s) who may have gone through this too.

    Also, not everyone has a doctor, unfortunately. I happen to live in a state where even with the healthcare reform, it's not as doable and affordable to people who don't have a lot of money. I check my blood sugars and bp at home, weigh myself at home.

    And for those wondering, my son's weight and diet are fine, as thankfully he is fond of fruits as part of his 7, and HE has health care.

    There is a huge difference in simply logging and measuring/weighting your foods. Your MFP goal includes the deficit to lose whatever you told the program you want to lose per week .... 500 cal deficit per day for every pound you want to lose. Your additional deficit is unnecessary if your math is correct when figuring your real intake.
  • deejayoh77
    deejayoh77 Posts: 14 Member
    Kalikel wrote: »
    deejayoh77 wrote: »
    I think people are mistaking me and I don't really appreciate the snarky tone of some of the comments, when we're all supposed to be here to help.

    I do log. Every day. On average I'm getting about 1160-1220 calories per day which is about 250-300 under what the MFP goals say I should have daily. When I mentioned the BMR calculator, it was because that says I should be eating Much More than even the MFP goals state.

    I don't eat junk, since I started doing this. I eat chicken and fish (portion controlled and weighed), oatmeal, fruit, avocado, salads with no dressing, etc. That's why I'm frustrated and what led me to put my anxieties aside and post to ask for help from someone(s) who may have gone through this too.

    Also, not everyone has a doctor, unfortunately. I happen to live in a state where even with the healthcare reform, it's not as doable and affordable to people who don't have a lot of money. I check my blood sugars and bp at home, weigh myself at home.

    And for those wondering, my son's weight and diet are fine, as thankfully he is fond of fruits as part of his 7, and HE has health care.
    What do you want to hear?

    Uh, the BK crack was what I was speaking to. Why are people hostile when someone is asking for help??
  • Branstin
    Branstin Posts: 2,320 Member
    How has your sodium levels been?
  • deejayoh77
    deejayoh77 Posts: 14 Member
    deejayoh77 wrote: »

    There is a huge difference in simply logging and measuring/weighting your foods. Your MFP goal includes the deficit to lose whatever you told the program you want to lose per week .... 500 cal deficit per day for every pound you want to lose. Your additional deficit is unnecessary if your math is correct when figuring your real intake.

    This makes PERFECT sense, thank you for explaining it that way.
  • oneoddsock
    oneoddsock Posts: 321 Member
    deejayoh77 wrote: »
    I do log. Every day. On average I'm getting about 1160-1220 calories per day which is about 250-300 under what the MFP goals say I should have daily. When I mentioned the BMR calculator, it was because that says I should be eating Much More than even the MFP goals state.

    Why are you eating so much less than MFP says you ought to?

  • deejayoh77
    deejayoh77 Posts: 14 Member
    oneoddsock wrote: »
    deejayoh77 wrote: »
    I do log. Every day. On average I'm getting about 1160-1220 calories per day which is about 250-300 under what the MFP goals say I should have daily. When I mentioned the BMR calculator, it was because that says I should be eating Much More than even the MFP goals state.

    Why are you eating so much less than MFP says you ought to?
    Honestly? I'm not hungry beyond what I eat. I have been struggling to get my numbers up. It's not a matter of eating less than it to see if I can lose even more, I just am not hungry enough to eat more than what I've been eating. I have a nut allergy so a handful of almonds is usually the first suggestion I'm given, and I can't do that. So part of why I posted was for tips on how to get some extra calories without feeling like I'm literally stuffing myself.
  • deejayoh77
    deejayoh77 Posts: 14 Member
    Branstin wrote: »
    How has your sodium levels been?

    Around 1,000. If I see it go higher I bump up my water intake.

  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    deejayoh77 wrote: »
    Kalikel wrote: »
    deejayoh77 wrote: »
    I think people are mistaking me and I don't really appreciate the snarky tone of some of the comments, when we're all supposed to be here to help.

    I do log. Every day. On average I'm getting about 1160-1220 calories per day which is about 250-300 under what the MFP goals say I should have daily. When I mentioned the BMR calculator, it was because that says I should be eating Much More than even the MFP goals state.

    I don't eat junk, since I started doing this. I eat chicken and fish (portion controlled and weighed), oatmeal, fruit, avocado, salads with no dressing, etc. That's why I'm frustrated and what led me to put my anxieties aside and post to ask for help from someone(s) who may have gone through this too.

    Also, not everyone has a doctor, unfortunately. I happen to live in a state where even with the healthcare reform, it's not as doable and affordable to people who don't have a lot of money. I check my blood sugars and bp at home, weigh myself at home.

    And for those wondering, my son's weight and diet are fine, as thankfully he is fond of fruits as part of his 7, and HE has health care.
    What do you want to hear?

    Uh, the BK crack was what I was speaking to. Why are people hostile when someone is asking for help??
    Dee Jay,

    People are not being hostile, they are being honest. I'm sorry if it's not what you want to hear.

    If you are not losing weight, then you are not in a calorie deficit OR you have some medical issues that needs attention. I say this because (1) if you were truly eating 1150-1200 calories a day you would be losing weight and (2) if you are truly eating that low of calories and not losing weight there is something wrong that needs attention.

    It's one or the other, and the most common cause of not losing weight is due to miscalculation of calories. I've been there, countless other people have been there, shoot overweight people in our families who say "I don't eat that much" have been there. It's very common.

    Do you have clinics in your area? They usually charge on a sliding scale.

    Do you have a food scale at home? Do you weigh all your solids and measure your liquids? Do you log everything you put in your mouth?
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  • deejayoh77
    deejayoh77 Posts: 14 Member
    SLLRunner wrote: »
    deejayoh77 wrote: »
    Kalikel wrote: »
    deejayoh77 wrote: »
    I think people are mistaking me and I don't really appreciate the snarky tone of some of the comments, when we're all supposed to be here to help.

    I do log. Every day. On average I'm getting about 1160-1220 calories per day which is about 250-300 under what the MFP goals say I should have daily. When I mentioned the BMR calculator, it was because that says I should be eating Much More than even the MFP goals state.

    I don't eat junk, since I started doing this. I eat chicken and fish (portion controlled and weighed), oatmeal, fruit, avocado, salads with no dressing, etc. That's why I'm frustrated and what led me to put my anxieties aside and post to ask for help from someone(s) who may have gone through this too.

    Also, not everyone has a doctor, unfortunately. I happen to live in a state where even with the healthcare reform, it's not as doable and affordable to people who don't have a lot of money. I check my blood sugars and bp at home, weigh myself at home.

    And for those wondering, my son's weight and diet are fine, as thankfully he is fond of fruits as part of his 7, and HE has health care.
    What do you want to hear?

    Uh, the BK crack was what I was speaking to. Why are people hostile when someone is asking for help??
    Dee Jay,

    People are not being hostile, they are being honest. I'm sorry if it's not what you want to hear.

    If you are not losing weight, then you are not in a calorie deficit OR you have some medical issues that needs attention. I say this because (1) if you were truly eating 1150-1200 calories a day you would be losing weight and (2) if you are truly eating that low of calories and not losing weight there is something wrong that needs attention.

    It's one or the other, and the most common cause of not losing weight is due to miscalculation of calories. I've been there, countless other people have been there, shoot overweight people in our families who say "I don't eat that much" have been there. It's very common.

    Do you have clinics in your area? They usually charge on a sliding scale.

    Do you have a food scale at home? Do you weigh all your solids and measure your liquids? Do you log everything you put in your mouth?

    Again, my "hostile" comment was about the Burger King comment. If you all don't see that as unnecessary then clearly I'm in the wrong place.
  • meridianova
    meridianova Posts: 438 Member
    deejayoh77 wrote: »
    I average 9-10 glasses of water a day. I don't ever go over my total goals (in fact I'm under, because I just can't eat this much). I'm concerned because my BMR has a total number that's 500 calories higher than MFP goals state for me on a day to day basis.

    if you've got your goals set to lose 1lb per week, then yes MFP is going to give you a 500 calorie per day deficit. many of the calculators for BMR vary based on the math used... some are based on age and weight, some take bodyfat percentages into account.

    you're going to get this question repeatedly, but are you logging your food? and by logging, i mean weighing all solids, measuring all liquids, tracking everything you eat based on the nutritional info either provided on the package or using the verified versions on the database. it makes a difference, and for a lot of people this is the #1 problem they found. if you don't already have one, get yourself a basic digital kitchen scale (amazon.com, $15-ish will get you one that will weigh in ounces and grams). i keep mine next to my knife block and keep a separate grocery-list pad of paper and pen attached to the fridge so that i can weigh and write down everything i'm using when i cook.

    you said you can't do home workouts... can you take your son out for a walk each day? can you listen to some faster-beat music while you're cleaning and dance while you clean? anything that gets you moving a bit more than usual could help.
  • duckydoom
    duckydoom Posts: 27 Member
    Food wise - I was able to satisfy my husband and my brother's cravings for chicken nuggets with Gardein Chick'n Tenders. They sell them at Walmart, Winco, and lots of other places, so even though they're vegan and a "specialty food," I think you can find them. They're surprisingly delicious. We just bake 'em with some stove baked fries and have them with bbq and ketchup. My bro has Down Syndrome, and also a very picky palette. I usually have to bribe him with a diet soda to eat a salad with dinner, or try things like fruit, anything green, etc lol. I don't know if that would work with your son, I'm sure you've tried!

    I agree with some of the statements above, definitely log your food. I am used to making 2 meals most of the time, though when I give in and eat the same meal as my husband (even in more appropriate portions), I dont lose any weight. I also have a gallon jug of water that I fill daily, and just pour it out into a glass or my Klean Kanteen That way I can make sure I get my full gallon daily, and can just keep reusing the jug without worrying about putting germs into it lol. I replace the jug every couple of weeks.

    Are you able to do any sort of activities? Does your son like walking in nature/a park, anything like that? Or if you have certain activities you can have him do while homeschooling, maybe you can get in a few exercises then? Ie a sensory activity for him, and while he does that you can get in situps, pushups, lunges, wall sits, planks, or anything like that?

    Best of luck to you, I know it can be hard. If you need to talk, feel free to PM me :smile:
  • eldamiano
    eldamiano Posts: 2,667 Member
    deejayoh77 wrote: »
    I think people are mistaking me and I don't really appreciate the snarky tone of some of the comments, when we're all supposed to be here to help.

    I do log. Every day. On average I'm getting about 1160-1220 calories per day which is about 250-300 under what the MFP goals say I should have daily. When I mentioned the BMR calculator, it was because that says I should be eating Much More than even the MFP goals state.

    I don't eat junk, since I started doing this. I eat chicken and fish (portion controlled and weighed), oatmeal, fruit, avocado, salads with no dressing, etc. That's why I'm frustrated and what led me to put my anxieties aside and post to ask for help from someone(s) who may have gone through this too.

    Also, not everyone has a doctor, unfortunately. I happen to live in a state where even with the healthcare reform, it's not as doable and affordable to people who don't have a lot of money. I check my blood sugars and bp at home, weigh myself at home.

    And for those wondering, my son's weight and diet are fine, as thankfully he is fond of fruits as part of his 7, and HE has health care.

    Yet loads of people go down the 'I am doing everything correctly' road and are just in denial.....
  • W8G0
    W8G0 Posts: 30 Member
    One thing you haven't mentioned is how long you've been sticking to the calorie count. A lot of people get frustrated when the weight loss doesn't start right away, or when it comes and goes. As long as you (a) are accurately measuring the calories you consume, (b) are eating the amount that MFP suggests, and (c) don't have any health issues / drugs mucking around with your metabolism, the weight will come off. Just give it time.

    Good luck!
  • kimekakes28
    kimekakes28 Posts: 103 Member
    If you can't get out the house, May I suggest mini exercise routines while your son is sleeping/napping. You can do 15 minutes of jogging in place, squats, push ups, and mountain climbers. In between commercial breaks, do some jumping jacks or jogging in place. That will help burn calories. In the course of a day you might get in 30 minutes of exercise without even know it. May God bless you and your son.
  • Please send me a friend request. I'm accessing the forums using safari on my iPhone and when I click to go to anyone's profile it just opens the MFP iPhone app and takes me to my home page, so I can't go to your page or send you a message (unless you are a friend). I have been in your shoes. My son has autism but he is almost 19 now (in four months). I know it is not easy. I also have a lot of health issues; but I've learned ways to deal with them and since being here in late August I have been successfully losing weight. I know you can and will lose weight too. Don't give up :). Hope you send a request :). Take care :)
  • deejayoh77
    deejayoh77 Posts: 14 Member
    W8G0 wrote: »
    One thing you haven't mentioned is how long you've been sticking to the calorie count. A lot of people get frustrated when the weight loss doesn't start right away, or when it comes and goes. As long as you (a) are accurately measuring the calories you consume, (b) are eating the amount that MFP suggests, and (c) don't have any health issues / drugs mucking around with your metabolism, the weight will come off. Just give it time.

    Good luck!

    2 weeks. Which I know sounds like I have no right to be frustrated, but I think I'd been spoiled by a previous attempt at losing and how I had faster results, which is another thing I was curious about and what made me post--to ask if this is just something I need patience with. No drugs! I was tempted but realized I needed to do this on my own.

  • deejayoh77
    deejayoh77 Posts: 14 Member
    W8G0 wrote: »
    One thing you haven't mentioned is how long you've been sticking to the calorie count. A lot of people get frustrated when the weight loss doesn't start right away, or when it comes and goes. As long as you (a) are accurately measuring the calories you consume, (b) are eating the amount that MFP suggests, and (c) don't have any health issues / drugs mucking around with your metabolism, the weight will come off. Just give it time.

    Good luck!

    And thank you for the luck and kind response!

  • deejayoh77
    deejayoh77 Posts: 14 Member
    Please send me a friend request. I'm accessing the forums using safari on my iPhone and when I click to go to anyone's profile it just opens the MFP iPhone app and takes me to my home page, so I can't go to your page or send you a message (unless you are a friend). I have been in your shoes. My son has autism but he is almost 19 now (in four months). I know it is not easy. I also have a lot of health issues; but I've learned ways to deal with them and since being here in late August I have been successfully losing weight. I know you can and will lose weight too. Don't give up :). Hope you send a request :). Take care :)


    Sent you a message. Thanks!