So disappointed in myself!

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  • berz82
    berz82 Posts: 100 Member
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    just dont let your cals go in the red asmuch as possible. its only you that can do it you will find you can eat lots of food that isnt crap and stay within your limits.
  • SingRunTing
    SingRunTing Posts: 2,604 Member
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    I agree with the "there is no wagon" point of view. We all mess up. We can not possibly expect to be perfect forever. You just have to move on and not wallow in your "mistake".

    A bad day once in a while won't ruin your progress. Its not moving on the next day from the bad day that will ruin your progress. So forget about what happened yesterday and do your best today. Learning from your mistakes is great, but today is the only day that you can control.
  • colleenmconnor
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    MFP used to frustrate the hell out of me because 1200 calories isn't enough. It's just the default it goes to.
    I agree with all of the above comments suggesting calculating your ideal calories elsewhere and inputting it into your 'goals' section on here.
    I changed mine to 1600cals, 40%carbs, etc.
    Otherwise you'll be so hungry you'll HAVE to cheat!
  • actonangels1
    actonangels1 Posts: 41 Member
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    Jules0222 wrote: »
    I agree with all the above. We need to be more mindful of what we are eating and drinking and why. We need to keep our focus on the 'prize' or the goal. We need to allow ourselves to be human and to make mistakes. We just need to keep at it and take our little successes as strength to keep going in the right direction.

    Also, I have a tip that might help you. (This is a good reminder for me to do this for myself, again, too.) I read a book once called "The Beck Diet Solution". It wasn't a diet. It was cognitive therapy for dieting to work with any diet plan. So, here's what you can do right now to help yourself succeed. Write down on an index card or business card (whatever you can keep on you every day) the reasons why you want to lose weight. It could range from "I want to feel healthy" to "I want to feel sexy" to "I want to be a size 6 again" to "I want to enjoy shopping for clothes", etc. Take the card out several times a day and read it. Also read it whenever you are tempted to eat or drink something you shouldn't.

    I'd love to hear if you implement this, and if so, how it worked for you.

    Regardless, I wish you all the very best. YOU deserve it! (And, so do I). :-)

    Thank you!

    I'm really going to give this a try!

    I was just saying to a friend of mine, this weeks goal - (to start) Leave my money at home on Wednesday night! Can't buy beer without money! Hey, at least that's a start!

  • oh_tree
    oh_tree Posts: 5 Member
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    you don't necessarily have to post any specific pictures on your fridge or put a lock on it or anything like that. I've seen people who do that and it doesn't really sit well with them emotionally in the end, ya know? HOWEVER it is very helpful to write down a few goals and post them somewhere visible. I also knew someone who wrote encouraging things down on a little card they laminated that had like things on it that encouraged them toward their goals that they kept in their pocket. It seemed super useful. (*) (*) (*)
  • rgf95
    rgf95 Posts: 2,468 Member
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    Stay with it. Remember it took many years for you to develop the habits surrounding eating, drinking and exercise. You cannot change them immediately. You CAN keep trying and celebrate each day of success instead of recriminating when you slip. SLIP HAPPENS.
  • theSophiemeister
    theSophiemeister Posts: 9 Member
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    I gave my stats on another thread that didn't really go too far, so I'll post them again.

    Sex - Female
    Age - 42
    Height - 5' 1"
    Weight - 205 lbs

    I set my goal for 2 lbs per week, but then I think I dropped it to 1.5 lbs per week and I don't think it moved my calories up any.

    Hi actonangels. I used IIFYM, which is also frequently referenced on MFP, to calculate your stats (http://iifym.com/iifym-calculator/). You could go up to 1682-1788 and still see decent weight loss (you know, assuming everything else goes right :smile: ). You should avoid going below your BMR, 1529 - BMR is how many calories your body needs just to complete the basic functions. MFP is also weird with how it defines your basic activity level. I tried the 1200 cal/ sedentary (use this since you have a desk job) for awhile, and was miserable. Most other fitness websites will explain that sedentary is really for professional couch potatoes. I got a Fitbit Zip earlier in the summer and realized that I'm a lot more active than I originally thought - all those dog walks and trips to the water fountain add up. I'm usually hitting 12k steps/ 5.5 miles every day. With that in mind, I went up to 1724 and have FINALLY been losing 1lb/ week consistently (I'm fairly close to my goal, so 1lb/ week is probably the best it will get).

    Eating more within your allowed calorie range is counter-intuitive at first. Think of your smart phone (hopefully you have one to get the analogy) - as your battery level gets lower, some of your accessories like GPS, bluetooth, camera flash, will turn off to conserve energy. The energy will be used to keep the phone and screen on. Likewise, your body will conserve energy if your caloric intake is too low. Fat burning is an accessory compared to breathing.

    Like the other posters have said, gradually adjust things to find what works. You'll always fall off the wagon if you deprive yourself, so use treats as a reward. Stay on track Sun-Friday lunch? Have a beer or wine (in moderation!).
  • tylermore2
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    (1). Take as many Day 1's as you need. (Keep trying, always, and it will happen)
    (2). If you don't want to slip, don't go where it's slippery (stay away from the wine).
    (3). Be kind to yourself, laugh at yourself, and begin again.
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
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    Rickbottom wrote: »
    I am just as bad, been on over a month and have been an appalling failure. Wine is my biggest weakness and boy is it a big one, once I fall off on that I am likely to indulge in food naughtiness too. Shocking. On the positive side, I have been hitting the gym pretty regularly but it is not enough to counter the bad stuff. I am also set for 1200 calories and then eat/drink my gym calories. I have been thinking about resetting as well, for a higher level of activity TDEE and then not eating my gym calories. Really though I need to stop reaching for the wine. Sorry I have no useful advice, I am just in the same boat.
    I am still trying to at least track and track honestly and yesterday I was 1300 calories over my goal (did not work out). Today I have 800 calories earned from exercise and I am trying not to touch them.

    OMG this is me!!! LOL! I LOOVVVVEEEEE Wine! Huge wine drinker which for me turns into wine binges. I exercise everyday except Sundays. Because of the exercise I maintain. If it gets really bad I gain a pound or two. Aug I committed myself to stay on track and log my food and cut out wine for the most part. I now drink once or twice a month. I've lost 10 lbs so far. I also calculated my TDEE and upped my calories which helps me feel satisfied.

  • fruitystix
    fruitystix Posts: 35 Member
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    I'm always falling off. One trick I'm learning is to say 'maybe later' if I find it too hard to say no. Also, drinking is an absolute no-no for me as alcohol just dissolves all willpower and seems to make me hungrier too
  • fruitystix
    fruitystix Posts: 35 Member
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    Also if you're subconsciously just not looking forward to the attention you might get from weight loss..that seems to be a trigger for me. I've even resolved to keep wearing baggy layers
  • fruitystix
    fruitystix Posts: 35 Member
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    tylermore2 wrote: »
    (1). Take as many Day 1's as you need. (Keep trying, always, and it will happen)
    (2). If you don't want to slip, don't go where it's slippery (stay away from the wine).
    (3). Be kind to yourself, laugh at yourself, and begin again.

    That's great advice!
  • postrockandcats
    postrockandcats Posts: 1,145 Member
    edited October 2014
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    Stop shaming yourself for eating; eating is important and you cannot starve yourself healthy. If you want to change, you need to find a way of eating that's sustainable long-term. Up those calories, don't be afraid of food and stop trying to quantify food as good or bad. It's food. :smile:

    Your profile says you want to lose 35 pounds. I'm going to assume that you're not obese and close to a healthy weight. You'd be better off with a smaller caloric deficit, anyway; you need that fuel. Your body will thank you.

    I found that allowing things like sweets, booze and other supposedly "bad" things in my life kept me from binge eating. I just don't eat them all the time because they don't keep me full.

    PS- I end up around 2k calories a day and I'm still getting smaller. I'm in a US 10/12 and started at a 24.

    My profile says 35 lbs because 80 - 90 just sounded like an absurd amount of weight to lose and not really realistic! I am very obese actually, and the 80 - 90 is really what I need to lose. Although, I think if I lost 80 - 90 lbs, I'd be too thin... so I think in reality, it's probably about 60 lbs that I think I would be okay with.

    Makes sense. My original goal was 25 pounds, which would have put me still over 200 pounds. I thought I was pushing my luck by changing to 170 as a goal weight, but now I'm at 155- 95 pounds lost total. Just be easy on yourself. :smile:
  • actonangels1
    actonangels1 Posts: 41 Member
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    Thank you all so very much for the encouraging words, help, and advice! I will take everything that has been said here and really try to stay on track. If I happen to veer away, I'll just find my way back and try not to be so hard on myself! :D
  • SingRunTing
    SingRunTing Posts: 2,604 Member
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    A book that I found really helpful about rewiring your habits:
    "The Power of Habit" by Charles Duhigg

    I actually read it for work, but was impressed for how well it worked for your personal life too.
  • actonangels1
    actonangels1 Posts: 41 Member
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    Thanks SingRunTing - I'll look into that
  • actonangels1
    actonangels1 Posts: 41 Member
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    fruitystix wrote: »
    tylermore2 wrote: »
    (1). Take as many Day 1's as you need. (Keep trying, always, and it will happen)
    (2). If you don't want to slip, don't go where it's slippery (stay away from the wine).
    (3). Be kind to yourself, laugh at yourself, and begin again.

    That's great advice!

    Love this! Thank you :)

  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
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    If beer is the problem and you cant exercise self control then just remove it from the house, reduce the amount you consume or find something low calorie. In terms of you reaching goal then its a definite issue if you cant moderate. I wouldnt even attempt to start until I had dealt with that issue as it appears to be your downfall. Good will and good intentions done seem to be enough.
  • actonangels1
    actonangels1 Posts: 41 Member
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    999tigger wrote: »
    If beer is the problem and you cant exercise self control then just remove it from the house, reduce the amount you consume or find something low calorie. In terms of you reaching goal then its a definite issue if you cant moderate. I wouldnt even attempt to start until I had dealt with that issue as it appears to be your downfall. Good will and good intentions done seem to be enough.

    Totally agree, and it's not really a huge issue, as I stated (not an alcoholic here), I have decided that I can have a couple on nights/weekends when I want, but I have to make sure I save the calories to do so. If I take it away all together, that's when I will find myself wanting it and probably wouldn't save or plan the calories.

    Tonight is my dart night - I've already decided that I will have a couple, but, I have planned out my day, dinner included and I have designated the calories for it, AND the best part is, I will STILL be under my calories for the day! :D