Anybody else going through a breakup?

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msmichydo
msmichydo Posts: 55 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hey guys,

I have been off the wagon for a few months (more like 8 months! Yikes) and have gained about 10 lbs. since being on here last. Having said that, I've been distracted by my relationship, which recently ended in quite a dramatic way.

I want to start feeling better about myself, and I am thinking about going to therapy due to some issues I know that I must address. However, I wanted to know if there was anyone out there who is going through the same thing as I am? I want to be happy and I know exercise is literally the best way to accomplish this but, it's also nice to know that I'm not alone.

Thanks for hearing me out, and looking forward to hearing from you.

-M
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Replies

  • shanyale2000
    shanyale2000 Posts: 2 Member
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    I am not currently going thru a breakup but I totally understand where you are coming from. I have been there and gained due to heartbreak. The best thing I can tell you is: CHOOSE YOU!! You control everything about yourself. Don't allow anyone to determine how you are going to eat, if/when you exercise or how you are going to feel that day. Choose to be a great you, you are destined for greatness and always remember... it's their loss not yours!!

    Be Blessed!

    -T
  • Spitgray
    Spitgray Posts: 74 Member
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    Not really but I'll take one for the team and be the rebound guy...
  • lunalee84
    lunalee84 Posts: 372 Member
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    Not a break up- but I lost my partner last year and spent a long time feeling sorry for myself and binge eating. Gained a good 15lb or more. One day I woke up and just hated myself, very negative self-talk which wasn't me before.

    I had to make the choice to focus on the now, and where I want to be next month, year, 10 years. Like a break up, its about focusing on you and finding your happiness. Getting back into exercise has been a huge help for me, bringing back my confidence and have met some nice new people too.

    Good luck, and remember everyday is a new day :)
  • Kontxesi
    Kontxesi Posts: 86 Member
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    I dumped my fiance in May. After four and a half years of putting him first and letting his needs trump mine, I can now focus on ME. I can do everything the way I want it, and I don't have to worry about how anyone else feels about it. I don't have to be concerned about what someone else wants to eat, or constantly hear someone buzzing in my ear about "looking good for someone else".

    Take this time to focus on you. What you need, what you want. It's all about you now. :smiley:
  • sentaruu
    sentaruu Posts: 2,206 Member
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    take some time for yourself and get yourself back on track! then get that *kitten* back out there breaking hearts!
  • Adc7225
    Adc7225 Posts: 1,318 Member
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    When I started this and lost around 25lbs my relationship ended in a rather unsettling manner. Given that I was already going through my own changes the ending of the relationship and friendship was rather hard to deal with. I then channeled my energy into having that revenge-dress moment. It didn't happen and while we are still in contact it was something I wouldn't wish for my worst enemy to have to go through.

    Yes, exercise is a great way to get through it - whatever you are doing make yourself push harder each time you think about the relationship - great motivation for push yourself.
  • Cortneyrenee04
    Cortneyrenee04 Posts: 1,117 Member
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    Me... After almost four years of being together and now everything is a mess. No job, nowhere to live alone, no family close by. The only constant and normal thing in my life is getting on my bike and planning my healthy meals! I'm so proud of myself for not falling into bad habits.

    This thread made me feel better - so glad to see it. Good luck to all of us :)
  • consideritdonemi
    consideritdonemi Posts: 88 Member
    edited October 2014
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    Therapy (with a GOOD therapist) is great for some post-breakup recovery and added perspective. I always found keeping busy with family and friends and forcing yourself to get out of the house to stay active/try new things worked wonders. Keeps your mind off things ex-related. I did things like check out local Meetups (.com), took Salsa classes, got a part-time job at one of those big box home improvement stores (that's like a built in dating service in itself...lots of men around lol). I like the idea someone mentioned about the revenge dress.

    I've gone through 3 major breakups and, I came to find out after the last 2, that being single is awesome. I wished I'd stayed single just a wee bit longer before getting into the relationship I am in now. Lol. You know, figure out what went wrong and try to just do it better next time around. Life is a process and this is part of the journey you're supposed to be going through to find the RIGHT love (though I wouldn't make that your modus operandi) and to improve yourself. Every breakup I went through most definitely improved me in the end. I came to even relish the prospect of a potentially bad date because it could make for a great/funny story to tell. But I am a weirdo that way. :-)

    ETA: Not sure what happened with my phone and the double post below. ???
  • consideritdonemi
    consideritdonemi Posts: 88 Member
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    consideritdonemi wrote: »
    Therapy (with a GOOD therapist) is great for some post-breakup recovery and added perspective. I always found keeping busy with family and friends and forcing yourself to get out of the house to stay active/try new things worked wonders. Keeps your mind off things ex-related. I did things like check out local Meetups (.com), took Salsa classes, got a part-time job at one of those big box home improvement stores (that's like a built in dating service in itself...lots of men around lol). I like the idea someone mentioned about the revenge dress.

    I've gone through 3 major breakups and, I came to find out after the last 2, being single is awesome. I wished I'd stayed single just a wee bit longer before getting into the relationship I am in now. Lol. You know, figure out what went wrong and try to just do it better next time around. Life is a process and this is part of the journey you're supposed to be going through to find the RIGHT love (though I wouldn't make that your modus operandi) and to improve yourself. Every breakup I went through most definitely improved me in the end. I came to even relish the prospect of a potentially bad date because it could make for a great/funny story to tell. But I am a weirdo that way. :-)

  • msmichydo
    msmichydo Posts: 55 Member
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    Thank you to all of you for the motivational words... It definitely helps to know that I am not alone and that it's all a process. Its really crappy right now and, at the end of the day I really do not want to treat my body badly because of how I'm feeling right now. Trying to keep a positive outlook on myself, my future and my health! Revenge-dress moment is also an awesome motivation, ha
  • Kontxesi
    Kontxesi Posts: 86 Member
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    consideritdonemi wrote: »
    got a part-time job at one of those big box home improvement stores (that's like a built in dating service in itself...lots of men around lol).

    I LIKE that idea! I'm already working full-time, but maybe I can squeeze in there on the weekends. :-D

  • BobbieSparks2
    BobbieSparks2 Posts: 12 Member
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    Well today I ate a donut and a monster slimjim. :-( My husband of 14 years, who just started a new job driving a truck, told me he wanted a divorce. To make matters worse he told me that he still loved me and that he always would.
  • msmichydo
    msmichydo Posts: 55 Member
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    BobbieSparks2 wrote: »
    Well today I ate a donut and a monster slimjim. :-( My husband of 14 years, who just started a new job driving a truck, told me he wanted a divorce. To make matters worse he told me that he still loved me and that he always would.

    I'm sorry to hear about this. Did he say why he wanted a divorce? Maybe it's something you both could work on?
  • ravenzwart
    ravenzwart Posts: 108 Member
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    A break-up is really hard. After the second one I totally crashed and didn't take care of myself. Luckily I had good friends wo stepped in and forced me to take better care of myself. But I still remember how it feels and to keep on track in such a period, pfff. I hope you find the strength to keep going and to put yourself first. Don't be shy and reach out to others, it helps!
  • carliekitty
    carliekitty Posts: 303 Member
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    Spitgray wrote: »
    Not really but I'll take one for the team and be the rebound guy...

    LOL!!!!! Such a kind guy ;)
  • nykismile
    nykismile Posts: 198
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    I spent the last year being single after a toxic relationship that really shook me down.

    While I was in a hospital for ED recovery, he was trying to sleep with my hot, skinny friend. That didn't help my recovery a whole lot.

    He motivates me, though. Even now that I'm in a relationship with someone who would never commit that kind of thing, I still let my ex motivate me to work harder, to be better. I want to be the best person I can possibly be. Strong and fit and healthy and successful.

    There were many times where I'd be on the elliptical and I'd feel weak and tired, but then I'd think of my ex and I'd run faster. There have been times where I'm eating and I worry about the calories and then I remember how my ex last saw me in my crippled ED state and I'd be inspired to keep going.

    I haven't seen him in months, but I want to. I want him to see how I am recovering without him, how I didn't need him for anything. It's something I look forward to :)
  • missiontofitness
    missiontofitness Posts: 4,074 Member
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    What a coincidence; my current stint (209 days) on this site was spawned from a dramatic breakup! Getting back to the gym, taking control of my life, and losing the emotional eating pounds I packed on post breakup was definitely one of the best things I could have done for myself. :) Good luck!
  • msmichydo
    msmichydo Posts: 55 Member
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    missiontofitness wrote: »
    What a coincidence; my current stint (209 days) on this site was spawned from a dramatic breakup! Getting back to the gym, taking control of my life, and losing the emotional eating pounds I packed on post breakup was definitely one of the best things I could have done for myself. :) Good luck!

    Thank you.
    I'm currently walking to and from work almost everyday and feeling good. I'm going to try and start jogging again soon. Feels good to move and take care of yourself. I forgot what it was like.
  • missiontofitness
    missiontofitness Posts: 4,074 Member
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    msmichydo wrote: »
    missiontofitness wrote: »
    What a coincidence; my current stint (209 days) on this site was spawned from a dramatic breakup! Getting back to the gym, taking control of my life, and losing the emotional eating pounds I packed on post breakup was definitely one of the best things I could have done for myself. :) Good luck!

    Thank you.
    I'm currently walking to and from work almost everyday and feeling good. I'm going to try and start jogging again soon. Feels good to move and take care of yourself. I forgot what it was like.

    Sometimes you just have to. I personally limited myself to a couple weeks of feeling sad and awful over the breakup, and then took control again. You have to give yourself time to grieve, but you also have to remember to take care of the special person that is you too.
  • tayleigh4
    tayleigh4 Posts: 90 Member
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    I was dumped because of my weight last month. Since the day he dumped me, I have lost 15 pounds & feel absolutely amazing. Sometimes it is for the best. Obviously it's not fun going through a breakup, but you CAN turn it into a positive experience. Stay strong, focus on yourself and your health, and LOVE YOURSELF :-)

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