A Rant from a "Skinny *****"

SeeMeShrinkDown
SeeMeShrinkDown Posts: 30
edited September 26 in Motivation and Support
I am not sure if this is the right forum, but here goes.

I am one of those so called "skinny *****es". Well, truth be told, I am not all that "skinny" because I am quite short. But I've read enough blogs & comments to know that I am probably well hated. You see, I am currently a Petite size 6. My so-called "skinny" clothes are 2's and 4's. So because I am smaller, I should "shut up and stop whining."

True, I've never had a large amount of weight to lose, and true, I've never suffered the torment & humiliation that so many overweight people endure.

With that said, self image or self esteem issues are not limited to only the overweight. No doubt an anorexic or bulimic feels a lot of emotional pain, for example. Eyeglasses, braces, freckles, shortness, tallness, skinny, fat, funny clothes. There a many reasons people are made to feel horrible about themselves.

I had hoped when I joined MFP, the community would be different. Whether we are trying to lose weight, gain weight, overcome an eating disorder, get stronger, overcome physical pain by getting stronger, rock a bikini, climb a mountain or just be able to do ordinary everyday activities with more joy, aren't we all here for the same reason, to feel and look as great as we can?

Please, I hope just one person reads this and understands that when a slim friend complains about her weight, it may not be about the weight so much at all. And if someone is trying to lose a relatively small amount in comparison to another, that does not mean their journey is any less important. To tell me to "stop whining" is belittling, like I don't matter. It matters to me! Does this make sense to anyone?

Good luck to each and every one of you no matter what your personal goals are! :flowerforyou:
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Replies

  • Edestiny7
    Edestiny7 Posts: 730 Member
    Great post. I agree! We are all here to support one another, no matter what. Health is most important.
  • HaleyAlli
    HaleyAlli Posts: 911 Member
    Preach it, honey!! I don't judge anyone, I remember being 140 lbs. (almost my goal weight) before and STILL hating myself!! It was awful! Do what's right for you and don't pay attention to the naysayers, they're just jealous!! You rock! :)
  • louell33
    louell33 Posts: 85
    Well said. I love this site - only one thing that riles me, (since we are having a rant now) is when people preach and presume almost, to force their way of healthy eating/exercise etc on to others. If you ask the question and get preached at - fair enough, but if your just mooching the boards for general info, it's a bit of a pain. I suppose I don't have to read those posts though!!

    I will shut up now. hehehe.
  • lulu1962
    lulu1962 Posts: 210
    This site is where you should be! Doesn't matter what you're trying to accomplish! My oldest daughter showed me this site...she's 5'4", 106 lbs...on here to maintain her weight & watch what she's eating. Ignore the "meanies"!:bigsmile:
  • crunchymommy
    crunchymommy Posts: 30 Member
    Well said!! This site should be about support for ALL! After all, it's called, "myfitnesspal," which can mean different things for different people - another person's goals are not less valid because they're not the same as ours.
  • amfmmama
    amfmmama Posts: 1,420 Member
    I understand. I do struggle with weight and have never been skinny. A bi*^% maybe, but never skinny = ) I used to do weightwatchers, and I had a friend who was doing it too. As far as I could see, she did not need to go. I used to get so irritated with her, I thought it was so easy for her and that she did not need to lose weight. We talked about it. We talked about the fact that, it was about how she felt about herself, not what I or anybody else thought about her. She struggled as much as I did with self image. It changed how I looked at things. It made me realize that it is always a personal journey.

    Good Luck on your personal journey!! I hope you reach all your goals and know that some of us realize that it is not any easier for you!
  • sjackson902
    sjackson902 Posts: 154 Member
    That's a good reminder that everyone has their own goals and expectations. I think it's great that you're trying to better yourself. This site should support everyone regardless of their current size. Good luck to you!
  • JennaM222
    JennaM222 Posts: 1,996 Member
    I love this post :) and I agree with you 100%.

    We all have different journeys, but just becasue someones is a little longer it doesnt make it any more painful.
  • chuisle
    chuisle Posts: 1,052 Member
    Maybe this is a good thread for you! :)

    We all want to get healthier...we just have different starting points!

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/153490-not-that-heavy-girls-trying-to-lose-weight
  • ClarkMer
    ClarkMer Posts: 206 Member
    It makes sense to me. Weight loss is about more than just looking good, it can be about your health or lowering your cholestrol, or just feeling better about yourself. I don't fault somebody that is a size 6 for wanting to lose weighht. Good for you for speaking your mind!
  • annalobdell
    annalobdell Posts: 201 Member
    It makes sense to me. I think people lose focus and see some one who is small and think, man, I would kill to be that size. They don't think that self esteem issues affect everyone of every size. I say to each his/her own. As long as everyone is healthy than who cares. We are all on the same journey, to love ourselves.
  • Kath712
    Kath712 Posts: 1,263 Member
    Well said!! Good luck in achieving your goals! :flowerforyou:
  • estepteau
    estepteau Posts: 146
    I understand you.....I weigh a little more than you but I do wear a size 6. Im still shooting for another 8lbs....my family thinks Im crazy, but I have been a size 4 before and I remember how great I felt at that time. Regardless of the amount of weight someone wants to lose its always a journey. I have been on this journey for 10months now and have lost a little over 30lbs. So do what is good for you and not for anyone else!
  • kjsimps
    kjsimps Posts: 17
    Right on. But I DO think that there ARE 2 categories of "skinny B**ches" - as you put it lol - I think that there ARE the people, like you mentioned, who are themselves on a journey to feel better, eat better, be healthier, etc. But there are ALSO girls who DO whine CONSTANTLY "I'm soooooo fat" when they clearly are looking for attention, for people to give them affirmation and say "oh no, you're SO thin!" My sister-in-law does this, and I KNOW she does it on purpose. She will call me and whine about how fat she is - she's a size 2 - she calls ME! As huge as I am, she calls me. I know she does it for attention seeking and to jab at me. I just stopped answering when she called...

    Anyway, so yes, you are totally right - it is an unfair judgement, but I think it does stem from the ones like my sister-in-law who are doing it just for attention - it's obnoxious and I think that it is part of why this happens to people like you who are genuinely just trying to self-improve. Hope this doesn't seem snarky because I am not AT ALL being snarky!! :) Good luck to you! I hope that someday my "skinny" clothes can be 4's lol :)
  • HDurow1018
    HDurow1018 Posts: 37 Member
    I agree with you! I think this site is a place for people to get healthy so matter what size they are. Just because someone is "skinny" doesn't mean they are healthy. I was a size 6 after high school (I'm 5'8" and I was about 130 pounds or so) but I got that way hardly eating anything and what I did eat was mostly carbs and sugar.
    Some people will always be judgemental and rude...you just have to ignore them and keep on your path and hear the voices telling you "Way To Go!" extra loud!
  • ChessRonin
    ChessRonin Posts: 160 Member
    I joined MFP when I was probably about 20-30lbs overweight (for a muscular 5'7" male, that doesn't "look" like that much weight); I started using MFP because I wanted to lose that weight not just to look better, but to feel better. I had ACL reconstruction surgery two years ago and never quite got back to where I was, and dropping all of the excess fat was a good way to start on the path to finish that journey. Since joining about two months ago, I've lost most of that weight, my energy and fitness levels have shot way up (not really from losing weight, but from eating healthier and being more active), and I'm very happy about it. While people can notice that I've lost weight, I was never the sort of person that people would call "fat."

    We all have our own impetus for increasing our dietary vigilance, and it's a good idea for every single person to be conscious (and at times vigilant) about what they eat. There are plenty of people like you, or me, on MFP, who aren't here to escape the social stigma (and other limitations) of being "fat," but rather to accomplish some other goal which has less superficial recognition.

    Don't be discouraged, and good luck achieving whatever it is that you plan on achieving!
  • lphoenix129
    lphoenix129 Posts: 21
    It makes sense to me! You're right...it's about looking and feeling good, no matter how much yu have to lose or gain! I wouldn't consider myself skinny anymore, especially with a goal of losing 40-45 lbs, but because I'm smaller than my sister, she calls me skinny. I mean it is what it is. Don't let anyone get in the way of your goals. Good luck to you!
  • Genie30
    Genie30 Posts: 316 Member
    Well said. I'm not slender (yet) but I do know that I've met very few people who are happy with their bodies. Even the ones who like their shape want bigger boobs or a smaller nose etc.

    We're all here for a reason and should be supported in achieving our goals.
  • Angie80281
    Angie80281 Posts: 444 Member
    I absolutely agree! I was always a "skinny *****" too, until I gained 40 pounds after the birth of my last child. However, my mom tells me all the time that I shouldn't complain, because she and I are the same height, and even with the extra 40 pounds I still weighed less than her.

    It's not just about weight, it's about fitness. I've been working out a lot lately, and even though I still weigh about 15 pounds more than I did pre-pregnancy, I think I'm far healthier now fitness-wise than I was then. Besides, it takes effort for many people to stay "skinny" or whatever their goal ultimately is. Healthy eating and exercise doesn't end when you reach your goal, unless you want to end up back where you were. Good for you for striving to maintain a healthy weight and self-image!
  • greg24bailey
    greg24bailey Posts: 13 Member
    We all have goals that we need to achieve; regardless of our image or whatever one is trying to achieve. I do believe that it is unfair for anyone to judge another, unless you life in that persons body and life. I really wish this whole hollywood stereotype would just go away, I prefer to associate with someone because of something in common, a sense of humor, intelligent conversation or because we are in the same place at the same moment.

    If we could all just spread one thing, it should be living a healthy and wellness oriented lifestyle. Don't get me wrong, I love an occasional beer & buffalo wings or salad and water, but not every day - moderation is key and my hardest part to learn.

    Your thoughts are well received by most, and most won't respond; but good luck to you and everyone.:wink:
  • SLaw4215
    SLaw4215 Posts: 596 Member
    I appreciated your "rant". I personally have a lot of weight to lose but my BFF is thin {my perception is that she is thin} and yet she is always trying to lose 10 - 15 pounds. It's hard for me not to look at her an think that on my best day my body has never looked like hers and I wonder why some days she is so hard on herself. My friend and I have talked openly about this very topic. She uses MFP too. Your message was a reminder to me to not be too self absorbed and only focus on my own goals. Thanks :flowerforyou:
  • jeannas
    jeannas Posts: 109 Member
    You make absolute sense and I loved your post.

    I agree with you everyone's journey is important and there is no way to know everyone's "story" This is a very personal and touchy subject for many people and for some their stories are too private or painful to share.

    I am 5ft 6 and 3/4 inches ...and I started at 172 (size 10 or 12) about on 3/16/11...6 weeks ago and want to get down to a size 6 (eventually!) . So far I have lost almost 14 pounds and my next goal is to get to 150 by July 4th. Not a ton of weight to lose..but still very hard. I am lucky if I can lose a pound a week over the last couple of weeks. It's hard, really hard and that is why I love MFP..people have been encouraging..just by saying "WTG" helps keep me logging in and recording my calories.

    You say you are probably "well hated"..I am sure that isn't true. Have you had negative comments personally? If you have, that 's terrible! Hopefully you can continue to "enlighten" people via your posts! Good luck to you!
  • HartJames
    HartJames Posts: 789 Member
    Not jealous, not angry and in no way hate or even care when someone smaller than me complains they need to lose weight. If you think you do, you probably do. What you do with your body is of no concern to me. I hope you don't think that EVERYONE who is larger than a size 6 thinks that way because really, it just isn't so.
  • froglegjack
    froglegjack Posts: 388 Member
    excellent post :)
  • sbwood888
    sbwood888 Posts: 953 Member
    I guess I can understand. Please understand from a fat person's point of view....We think you are beautiful and we would give ANYTHING to look like you. When you tell us that you are overweight, it feels to us as if you are saying that we are HUGE! See, if a small beautiful person is "fat", then what does that make us?? Beyond hope?? Worthless?? Grotesque?? The sword cuts both ways. Good luck to you. :flowerforyou:
  • greeneyed84
    greeneyed84 Posts: 427 Member
    Some people on here to seem to think this site is only for people who have or want to loose a lot of weight. But guess what?? This is NOT weight watchers!!! lol, it's my fitness pal, which, for me, means people who want to be healthy and fit. No matter if they are under weight and want to gain, are a healthy weight and want to maintain or tone up, or overweight and obese people who want to loose weight and be healthier. To me everyone is here to improve themselves and get support from people in a similar situation.
    Once i have reached my goal i know i will stay a member.
  • merB89
    merB89 Posts: 122
    Thank you for posting this!!! I was reading some posts lately that really got me irritated about this subject, but you put it much more eloquently than I could have. Let's all respect each other for what we're doing here, trying to be the best us!
  • aunienue
    aunienue Posts: 416
    Thanks, I am also a skinny ***ch. 5'2" and a petite size 4. I love this site because it keeps me focused enough to maintain my weight. I love to get comments from my friends encouraging my to exercise. Even though I am small, 5 lbs (up or down) makes a huge difference on my frame. I am not small due to heredity.....I work at it....
  • aunienue
    aunienue Posts: 416
    I guess I can understand. Please understand from a fat person's point of view....We think you are beautiful and we would give ANYTHING to look like you. When you tell us that you are overweight, it feels to us as if you are saying that we are HUGE! See, if a small beautiful person is "fat", then what does that make us?? Beyond hope?? Worthless?? Grotesque?? The sword cuts both ways. Good luck to you. :flowerforyou:

    I appreciate and understand your point of view. Thanks.
  • Pseudocyber
    Pseudocyber Posts: 312 Member
    The name of the place is "my fitness". It's not the fat people hang out. :) So if you want to talk about YOUR fitness issues, I think this is the place.

    And how do you not look like an elephant ... one less bite at a time. ;)
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