A Rant from a "Skinny *****"

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  • SLaw4215
    SLaw4215 Posts: 596 Member
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    I appreciated your "rant". I personally have a lot of weight to lose but my BFF is thin {my perception is that she is thin} and yet she is always trying to lose 10 - 15 pounds. It's hard for me not to look at her an think that on my best day my body has never looked like hers and I wonder why some days she is so hard on herself. My friend and I have talked openly about this very topic. She uses MFP too. Your message was a reminder to me to not be too self absorbed and only focus on my own goals. Thanks :flowerforyou:
  • jeannas
    jeannas Posts: 109 Member
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    You make absolute sense and I loved your post.

    I agree with you everyone's journey is important and there is no way to know everyone's "story" This is a very personal and touchy subject for many people and for some their stories are too private or painful to share.

    I am 5ft 6 and 3/4 inches ...and I started at 172 (size 10 or 12) about on 3/16/11...6 weeks ago and want to get down to a size 6 (eventually!) . So far I have lost almost 14 pounds and my next goal is to get to 150 by July 4th. Not a ton of weight to lose..but still very hard. I am lucky if I can lose a pound a week over the last couple of weeks. It's hard, really hard and that is why I love MFP..people have been encouraging..just by saying "WTG" helps keep me logging in and recording my calories.

    You say you are probably "well hated"..I am sure that isn't true. Have you had negative comments personally? If you have, that 's terrible! Hopefully you can continue to "enlighten" people via your posts! Good luck to you!
  • HartJames
    HartJames Posts: 789 Member
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    Not jealous, not angry and in no way hate or even care when someone smaller than me complains they need to lose weight. If you think you do, you probably do. What you do with your body is of no concern to me. I hope you don't think that EVERYONE who is larger than a size 6 thinks that way because really, it just isn't so.
  • froglegjack
    froglegjack Posts: 388 Member
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    excellent post :)
  • sbwood888
    sbwood888 Posts: 953 Member
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    I guess I can understand. Please understand from a fat person's point of view....We think you are beautiful and we would give ANYTHING to look like you. When you tell us that you are overweight, it feels to us as if you are saying that we are HUGE! See, if a small beautiful person is "fat", then what does that make us?? Beyond hope?? Worthless?? Grotesque?? The sword cuts both ways. Good luck to you. :flowerforyou:
  • greeneyed84
    greeneyed84 Posts: 427 Member
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    Some people on here to seem to think this site is only for people who have or want to loose a lot of weight. But guess what?? This is NOT weight watchers!!! lol, it's my fitness pal, which, for me, means people who want to be healthy and fit. No matter if they are under weight and want to gain, are a healthy weight and want to maintain or tone up, or overweight and obese people who want to loose weight and be healthier. To me everyone is here to improve themselves and get support from people in a similar situation.
    Once i have reached my goal i know i will stay a member.
  • merB89
    merB89 Posts: 122
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    Thank you for posting this!!! I was reading some posts lately that really got me irritated about this subject, but you put it much more eloquently than I could have. Let's all respect each other for what we're doing here, trying to be the best us!
  • aunienue
    aunienue Posts: 416
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    Thanks, I am also a skinny ***ch. 5'2" and a petite size 4. I love this site because it keeps me focused enough to maintain my weight. I love to get comments from my friends encouraging my to exercise. Even though I am small, 5 lbs (up or down) makes a huge difference on my frame. I am not small due to heredity.....I work at it....
  • aunienue
    aunienue Posts: 416
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    I guess I can understand. Please understand from a fat person's point of view....We think you are beautiful and we would give ANYTHING to look like you. When you tell us that you are overweight, it feels to us as if you are saying that we are HUGE! See, if a small beautiful person is "fat", then what does that make us?? Beyond hope?? Worthless?? Grotesque?? The sword cuts both ways. Good luck to you. :flowerforyou:

    I appreciate and understand your point of view. Thanks.
  • Pseudocyber
    Pseudocyber Posts: 312 Member
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    The name of the place is "my fitness". It's not the fat people hang out. :) So if you want to talk about YOUR fitness issues, I think this is the place.

    And how do you not look like an elephant ... one less bite at a time. ;)
  • SeeMeShrinkDown
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    Right on. But I DO think that there ARE 2 categories of "skinny B**ches" - as you put it lol - I think that there ARE the people, like you mentioned, who are themselves on a journey to feel better, eat better, be healthier, etc. But there are ALSO girls who DO whine CONSTANTLY "I'm soooooo fat" when they clearly are looking for attention, for people to give them affirmation and say "oh no, you're SO thin!" My sister-in-law does this, and I KNOW she does it on purpose. She will call me and whine about how fat she is - she's a size 2 - she calls ME! As huge as I am, she calls me. I know she does it for attention seeking and to jab at me. I just stopped answering when she called...

    Anyway, so yes, you are totally right - it is an unfair judgement, but I think it does stem from the ones like my sister-in-law who are doing it just for attention - it's obnoxious and I think that it is part of why this happens to people like you who are genuinely just trying to self-improve. Hope this doesn't seem snarky because I am not AT ALL being snarky!! :) Good luck to you! I hope that someday my "skinny" clothes can be 4's lol :)

    I am thinking maybe your sister-in-law is just a "*****" who just happens to be skinny? And for those who are "looking for attention"....self esteem issues! They may be looking for validation. Just a thought. :flowerforyou:
  • SeeMeShrinkDown
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    I guess I can understand. Please understand from a fat person's point of view....We think you are beautiful and we would give ANYTHING to look like you. When you tell us that you are overweight, it feels to us as if you are saying that we are HUGE! See, if a small beautiful person is "fat", then what does that make us?? Beyond hope?? Worthless?? Grotesque?? The sword cuts both ways. Good luck to you. :flowerforyou:

    This was lovely, thank you for being so kind. :smile: But I believe that sometimes when a relatively small person complains they are overweight (whether they are or not), I don't think it has ANYTHING to do with YOU, but everything to do with them. Just a thought.
  • VixFit2011
    VixFit2011 Posts: 663 Member
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    We all have goals that we need to achieve; regardless of our image or whatever one is trying to achieve. I do believe that it is unfair for anyone to judge another, unless you life in that persons body and life. I really wish this whole hollywood stereotype would just go away, I prefer to associate with someone because of something in common, a sense of humor, intelligent conversation or because we are in the same place at the same moment.

    If we could all just spread one thing, it should be living a healthy and wellness oriented lifestyle. Don't get me wrong, I love an occasional beer & buffalo wings or salad and water, but not every day - moderation is key and my hardest part to learn.

    Your thoughts are well received by most, and most won't respond; but good luck to you and everyone.:wink:


    Excellent posts girls!!! It's health that is important whether it's weight loss, or maybe a person may want to gain some weight, and many more things. Beauty isn't just on the surface of you....it's what you are inside. I've met many people in my lifetime who are beautiful on the surface but the inside is reeeeeaaaalllly dark.
  • tammyquinnlmt
    tammyquinnlmt Posts: 680 Member
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    I don't view people as skinny or fat. And I only think a person is a ***** if they prove it. I have no problem with a small framed person trying to lose or maintain. I look at it as, if I had been that concerned when I was a size 7, I might not be a size 22/24 now. I have people of all sizes and fitness levels as my friends and I enjoy each and every one of them. I get insight and motivation from many different people and things...so to each their own and let just be friends. Support is support.
  • JulieF11
    JulieF11 Posts: 387 Member
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    Been there... Done that... (been skinny and obese)

    At one time in my life I was a skinny little thing, I even won beauty pageants and made a good deal of money modeling. I was very thin, but not happy. At another time I was over 100 pounds overweight, and still not happy, but really no more "unhappy" than I had always been. But at least I had an excuse. Now, I am no longer unhappy. It was a choice, and still is a choice I make each day.

    We all know that self-esteem should come from within... not what we look like. Heavens, we could be in a car wreck, lose a leg, mess up our face, and then what??? Did we lose our value? No, we are still the person we molded by our decisions.

    It's all a matter of respecting each other.

    Some people who are "obese" or "overweight" still find themselves attractive.. but they have to lose weight for health reasons. Their self-esteem isn't wrapped up in their shape or size, but rather in who they are. If a person who clearly has no weight issue focuses on their weight as if it were a reason for them not to feel good about themselves, you can imagine how that would come across.... very self-centered, immature and perhaps cold. If they are seeking comfort from someone who they would consider to be "fatter then they are"... well , it seems like they might be wanting to make themselves feel better by comparing their sorrows from an advantage.

    Anyway, we are all here for a reason, and we all have a lot to offer one another. We all want to be liked, respected and treated with dignity. I have no problem helping someone who is "skinny" any more than I have a problem helping someone who is not "skinny". I think most people on this site would feel that way. It is hard though to take advice from someone who hasn't been there. And it's hard to give advice if one doesn't understand the others issue.

    I hope that no one ever feels excluded, irritated or saddened... just realize that this site (this whole world) is full of hurting people, both thin and heavy... And sometimes written messages may come across hurtful unintentionally.
  • 2bFitNTrim
    2bFitNTrim Posts: 1,209 Member
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    I don't have a lot to lose either, so I can certainly relate to your post. Fortunately, I have some great MFP pals who are very supportive of me even if my journey may be shorter than others. A few of my pals have quite a bit to lose, others not so much, and I can think of one who has reached her goal. Everyone's goals should be respected. Like one of the previous posters said, being a ***** has little to do with one's weight. :laugh:
  • Kjarlune
    Kjarlune Posts: 178
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    I am not sure if this is the right forum, but here goes.

    I am one of those so called "skinny *****es". Well, truth be told, I am not all that "skinny" because I am quite short. But I've read enough blogs & comments to know that I am probably well hated. You see, I am currently a Petite size 6. My so-called "skinny" clothes are 2's and 4's. So because I am smaller, I should "shut up and stop whining."

    True, I've never had a large amount of weight to lose, and true, I've never suffered the torment & humiliation that so many overweight people endure.

    With that said, self image or self esteem issues are not limited to only the overweight. No doubt an anorexic or bulimic feels a lot of emotional pain, for example. Eyeglasses, braces, freckles, shortness, tallness, skinny, fat, funny clothes. There a many reasons people are made to feel horrible about themselves.

    I had hoped when I joined MFP, the community would be different. Whether we are trying to lose weight, gain weight, overcome an eating disorder, get stronger, overcome physical pain by getting stronger, rock a bikini, climb a mountain or just be able to do ordinary everyday activities with more joy, aren't we all here for the same reason, to feel and look as great as we can?

    Please, I hope just one person reads this and understands that when a slim friend complains about her weight, it may not be about the weight so much at all. And if someone is trying to lose a relatively small amount in comparison to another, that does not mean their journey is any less important. To tell me to "stop whining" is belittling, like I don't matter. It matters to me! Does this make sense to anyone?

    Good luck to each and every one of you no matter what your personal goals are! :flowerforyou:

    I was told once, that it does not matter if you have 200 pounds to loose or 2, it all feels the same, You are right, regardless of our stories we all have one... I for one hope you get exactly what you need, and accomplish everything you are setting out to do. IF you ever need a friend...Don't hesitate....
  • jennifer3998
    jennifer3998 Posts: 144 Member
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    I really appreciate this post. I go up and down 15 pounds over the course of every (and I mean every) year. I'm here for three reasons - to stop that roller coaster, get more physically fit and eat more healthy. I'm one of those people that HATES vegetables, the smell of broccoli makes me want to throw up. I'm mature and I keep trying them but I don't think it's going to change. So I track my Vitamin A to see if I can get enough in various ways. I also have high blood pressure because I'm really sensitive to sodium. So I track that religiously. I've been able to get off my medication because of this site. As far as fitness, I've found great support from members doing Insanity with me, and now have tried and love TurboFire. I never would have done either of those things if not for this site! I would still be on an elliptical (only)!

    So yes, there are many reasons people are here, and that is what makes it great. I have MFP friends who want to lose 10 lbs (me!) and others who are trying to lose 200+ pounds. Luckily I've found no difference in the support.

    That said, I have the utmost respect for those trying to lose a lot of weight. I know I struggle with that stupid 10-15 lbs so I cannot imagine how difficult it is. My journey is my journey but I also can see the big picture, and I am fortunate.

    Best of luck to all.
    Jennifer
  • amfmmama
    amfmmama Posts: 1,420 Member
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    It's all a matter of respecting each other.


    This says it all.
  • Eskimopie
    Eskimopie Posts: 235 Member
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    I think that on this site, us thinner people are perfectly fine talking about losing weight and exercising. I'm totally unfit and tracking my running progress while trying to lose a few. Its a site dedicated to being healthy and counting calories after all.

    BUT I think offline, in the real world, its a little different. I had a larger roommate and two very petite ones all at once. I always made an effort to focus my weight talk around eating healthier and working out more, and not talking about the scale, in front of my larger roommate. It would have made her upset and uncomfortable, and why do that to a friend? My tiny roommate, who was maybe 100 lbs, had no such compunction, and sometimes I wanted to slap her for her insensitivity. It's just tactless.

    Just like, on a smaller scale, when my friends talk about being disgustingly pale to me, and I look at my (much much whiter) skin and say thanks for calling me disgusting. Then they rush to explain that they aren't talking about me, I'm a redhead so its ok, blah blah. Its just tactless.