The step parent
Romyarts2014
Posts: 201 Member
in Chit-Chat
I have had troubles with my stepmom since the day she entered my life.
My dad and her have two young children so I do everything in my power to be there for them.
But she causes so many problems and so many problems between me and my dad.
I talk to my dad but nothing I have talked to her but nothing... I help them everytime.
I babysit, i come over to help i clean i do everything they need.
But its at a point were I am done trying !
Is it selfish to just completley say good bye for a few months
I live on my own. And it causes me so much stress.
I mean the simplest things! I helped find my stepmoms dog
but than I get *kitten* out for giving there name to the people at the shelter
because the dog is not chipped to them...
I mean ...... what do I do...
You guys dont know half the stuff ive been through with her..
im just at a breaking point. i cant live this way! i cant..
My dad and her have two young children so I do everything in my power to be there for them.
But she causes so many problems and so many problems between me and my dad.
I talk to my dad but nothing I have talked to her but nothing... I help them everytime.
I babysit, i come over to help i clean i do everything they need.
But its at a point were I am done trying !
Is it selfish to just completley say good bye for a few months
I live on my own. And it causes me so much stress.
I mean the simplest things! I helped find my stepmoms dog
but than I get *kitten* out for giving there name to the people at the shelter
because the dog is not chipped to them...
I mean ...... what do I do...
You guys dont know half the stuff ive been through with her..
im just at a breaking point. i cant live this way! i cant..
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Replies
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Quitting is rarely the answer.0
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As a child of a stepfamily, do you agree with this article?
http://m.ncregister.com/daily-news/better-to-stay-in-a-bad-marriage/#.VD8T-mS9Kc3
Excerpt:
“Society is telling people a lie: that if you married a jerk then you’ll be better off and your children will be better off if you dump him. ‘It’s not your fault: You just married the wrong person.’
“But what people need to hear is what research really shows: that your children will be much better off — much better off, according to every measure researchers can think of — if you can hang in there with the father of these children and make it work.”
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IMO there's nothing wrong with taking a step back for a while if they aren't treating you well. Either they'll realise they need a babysitter/cleaner and will be nice to you so you keep doing it, or they'll genuinely miss having you around. There's nothing wrong with setting boundaries based on how you need to be treated - and don't reward them for treating you wrong!0
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If I remember you correctly OP, didn't you move to Europe from the US? And you're with a fella who thinks of his past girlfriends and you're annoyed and disturbed by this? You dedicated a thread to it...
You and boyfriend were spending almost all of your time together. Maybe that's changed.
Now it's the stepmother. Hmmm...
You read my mind! I was thinking the exact same thing. Sounds like the boyfriend is history.0 -
If I remember you correctly OP, didn't you move to Europe from the US? And you're with a fella who thinks of his past girlfriends and you're annoyed and disturbed by this? You dedicated a thread to it...
You and boyfriend were spending almost all of your time together. Maybe that's changed.
Now it's the stepmother. Hmmm...
Excuse me what does this have to do with my relationship life........ I broke up with him..
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I'm going to stop coming on here to talk! This is ridiculous ..... my ex be and my step mom have nothing in common..
shame0 -
Have some tea take an aspirin and do not ask for sound advice on a forum and call me in the morning.0
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Romyarts2014 wrote: »I'm going to stop coming on here to talk! This is ridiculous ..... my ex be and my step mom have nothing in common..
shame
Yeah, seriously. That comment they made was pretty pointless.0 -
Romyarts2014 wrote: »I'm going to stop coming on here to talk! This is ridiculous ..... my ex be and my step mom have nothing in common..
shame
Sound advice.
The point they are trying to make is that you seem to have a lot of drama in your life. That you tend to share that drama with strangers is indicative that the problem may be *you* and not *them*
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sounds like you did the right thing with the boyfriend hung up on the ex, but now you need to do the same with the stepmom. If you feel taking a step back is best for you, then do it. You don't need a bunch of strangers telling you its best, because only you know you. I wish you the best.0
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CJisinShape wrote: »Romyarts2014 wrote: »I'm going to stop coming on here to talk! This is ridiculous ..... my ex be and my step mom have nothing in common..
shame
Yeah, seriously. That comment they made was pretty pointless.
Then again, so is asking for relationship advice on a fitness forum.0 -
I relate to you 100%
When I was 17 around Oct 2007, my mom and I got into an argument which resulted in me going to my dads to stay. He had just barely moved his new GF like 2 months prior! She was nice and all. But me coming over there was a big mistake. I found out I was pregnant a couple days after, I started having lots of horrible morning, evening and night sickness lol
One day when my dad was not home (she was cool to me at first) we were eating and I had to go puke, she came and sat me down gave the whole I-KNOW-I-AM-NOT-YOUR-MOTHER- SPEECH and asked me if I was pregnant, she assured me my dad would not find out unless I told him. So I felt safe and said I dont know I think so!
She pulled out a pregnancy test, I took it and I was excited too! When I told my boyfriend at the time, he was not happy! And I was going thru so much I was sleeping on my dad's floor, at his 1 bdrm aprt, with him and his GF. My mom and my realtionship was going down the drain because of my stupid boyfriend, (my mom did not ike my boyfriend.) Who would have known 7 yrs later I would be wishing I had listened o my mom! =[
Anyways, my then boyfriend already had a kid, whom he sent to mexico with her mom, so he obviously didnt want a kid. He talked me into well threatened me into having an abortion. Meanwhile my stepmom was listenin to the whole conversation. He told me he didnt want a baby right now, I was not ready barely 17, if I did not get an abortion he would leave me like he did to his exbaby momma, and blah blah blah! So stupid me got an abortion!! My dad lives 1 hr away from where my actual hometown is, like where I lived andwent to school, and my boyfried was. One day my boyfriend went to pick me up, took me to get the abortion, and at night took me back to my dads as if nothing had happened. When I got home (to my dads) my stepmom came into my room,(atthis time we had already oves into a 2 bdrm. And she was like "You got an abortion didnt you?" I said yes. ad cried. She promised me she would never tell my dad, and it was going to be our "MOM AND DAUGHTER SECRET!" I had a great relationship then, at the beginning she had talked o me into keeping my baby, and she started telling some people how she was going to be a grandma. Less than a week later my dad came into my room yelling and mad asking me if its true I got an abortion? I was scared and was like "No papa no I didnt! Why would u say that?" DAD:" Because you were feeling sick a couple days ago and I asked Sylvia if u were preggon and she said maybe u got an abortion!" Are you pregnant yes or no? I said no! He was like even if u did get an abortion pregnancy test will still showpositive!"
I was so mad! I WAS SO SCARED! SHE LIED TO ME!!! I called my bf and told him, he checked online and he said it was true I will still get a positive test even after a month after the abortion. So one night my bf drove 1.5 hours just to drop off some of his pee and sneaked it in! I was so scared I kept telling my dad I did not have to pee! I didne have alone time with Sylvia (ny step mom) to *kitten* her out!! the next morning I woke my dad up at 6 am and told him I had to pee he gave me a little container to pee in and I poured my ex's pee. of course it came out negative!! She was dumbfounded!!! She knew what I did! After that my dad s relationship and mine went down!! I have 2 younger sisters who he doesnt see anymore because of her, he has not given any child support at ll for them either! I am crying as Im writing this because my dad used to love us so much he would come vivit us all the time! I moved back in with my mom, and spoke to my dad everynow and then. One time he asked me if hecould talk to me, my mom found out about what happened of how they thought I was preggo, we went to starbucks and I told them all this. They both cried!
I know I shouldnt have had the abortion, but I was hurt that she lied to me, made me feel comfortable telling her, then hurt my dad like that! My dad told me he would have raised the child, and that he dis-owned me as his daughter! My mom of course was more mad about my stepmom lying to me and getting the abortion because of my ex came 2nd! That was 7 yrs ago and I think Ive seen my dad mmm 7-10 times! And the other day he came by my job, secretly, because he had gone to drop off my stepmom to the airport. I took a picture with him and uploaded it to instagram because he said he didnt want Sylvia to know he went to see me! He asked me to take the picture down and I did and with that I hurtingly took away the love and respect I had for my dad! I hope she is happy now! She got my dad all to herself! And she has 2 older daughters and my dad call them his babies!! there was a salmons day festival and my sisters ran into my dad! HE DIDNT EVEN SPEAK TO THEM!!! My 17 year old sister cried like I had never seen her cry before, she is always so tough, my sister broke down! But there is a God and one day he will make her pay, and maybe me too! But I would say dont let her take ur dad and your realtionship!! if its worth it!!0 -
SpeSHul_SnoflEHk wrote: »CJisinShape wrote: »Romyarts2014 wrote: »I'm going to stop coming on here to talk! This is ridiculous ..... my ex be and my step mom have nothing in common..
shame
Yeah, seriously. That comment they made was pretty pointless.
Then again, so is asking for relationship advice on a fitness forum.
What is wrong with asking for relationship advice on a fitness forum that is under "Chit Chat, Fun, and Games"? Am I missing some unknown rule?
To the OP, I also wish you the best. Set boundaries. I've had 3 step-mothers. All 3 were terrible and now long gone, so I do know what you are going through.
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JenAndSome wrote: »Romyarts2014 wrote: »I'm going to stop coming on here to talk! This is ridiculous ..... my ex be and my step mom have nothing in common..
shame
Sound advice.
The point they are trying to make is that you seem to have a lot of drama in your life. That you tend to share that drama with strangers is indicative that the problem may be *you* and not *them*CJisinShape wrote: »As a child of a stepfamily, do you agree with this article?
http://m.ncregister.com/daily-news/better-to-stay-in-a-bad-marriage/#.VD8T-mS9Kc3
Excerpt:
“Society is telling people a lie: that if you married a jerk then you’ll be better off and your children will be better off if you dump him. ‘It’s not your fault: You just married the wrong person.’
“But what people need to hear is what research really shows: that your children will be much better off — much better off, according to every measure researchers can think of — if you can hang in there with the father of these children and make it work.”
According to who, The National Catholic Register?? You think maybe there's some bias at play there?
I'm not Catholic and I posted it.0 -
I relate to you 100%
When I was 17 around Oct 2007, my mom and I got into an argument which resulted in me going to my dads to stay. He had just barely moved his new GF like 2 months prior! She was nice and all. But me coming over there was a big mistake. I found out I was pregnant a couple days after, I started having lots of horrible morning, evening and night sickness lol
One day when my dad was not home (she was cool to me at first) we were eating and I had to go puke, she came and sat me down gave the whole I-KNOW-I-AM-NOT-YOUR-MOTHER- SPEECH and asked me if I was pregnant, she assured me my dad would not find out unless I told him. So I felt safe and said I dont know I think so!
She pulled out a pregnancy test, I took it and I was excited too! When I told my boyfriend at the time, he was not happy! And I was going thru so much I was sleeping on my dad's floor, at his 1 bdrm aprt, with him and his GF. My mom and my realtionship was going down the drain because of my stupid boyfriend, (my mom did not ike my boyfriend.) Who would have known 7 yrs later I would be wishing I had listened o my mom! =[
Anyways, my then boyfriend already had a kid, whom he sent to mexico with her mom, so he obviously didnt want a kid. He talked me into well threatened me into having an abortion. Meanwhile my stepmom was listenin to the whole conversation. He told me he didnt want a baby right now, I was not ready barely 17, if I did not get an abortion he would leave me like he did to his exbaby momma, and blah blah blah! So stupid me got an abortion!! My dad lives 1 hr away from where my actual hometown is, like where I lived andwent to school, and my boyfried was. One day my boyfriend went to pick me up, took me to get the abortion, and at night took me back to my dads as if nothing had happened. When I got home (to my dads) my stepmom came into my room,(atthis time we had already oves into a 2 bdrm. And she was like "You got an abortion didnt you?" I said yes. ad cried. She promised me she would never tell my dad, and it was going to be our "MOM AND DAUGHTER SECRET!" I had a great relationship then, at the beginning she had talked o me into keeping my baby, and she started telling some people how she was going to be a grandma. Less than a week later my dad came into my room yelling and mad asking me if its true I got an abortion? I was scared and was like "No papa no I didnt! Why would u say that?" DAD:" Because you were feeling sick a couple days ago and I asked Sylvia if u were preggon and she said maybe u got an abortion!" Are you pregnant yes or no? I said no! He was like even if u did get an abortion pregnancy test will still showpositive!"
I was so mad! I WAS SO SCARED! SHE LIED TO ME!!! I called my bf and told him, he checked online and he said it was true I will still get a positive test even after a month after the abortion. So one night my bf drove 1.5 hours just to drop off some of his pee and sneaked it in! I was so scared I kept telling my dad I did not have to pee! I didne have alone time with Sylvia (ny step mom) to *kitten* her out!! the next morning I woke my dad up at 6 am and told him I had to pee he gave me a little container to pee in and I poured my ex's pee. of course it came out negative!! She was dumbfounded!!! She knew what I did! After that my dad s relationship and mine went down!! I have 2 younger sisters who he doesnt see anymore because of her, he has not given any child support at ll for them either! I am crying as Im writing this because my dad used to love us so much he would come vivit us all the time! I moved back in with my mom, and spoke to my dad everynow and then. One time he asked me if hecould talk to me, my mom found out about what happened of how they thought I was preggo, we went to starbucks and I told them all this. They both cried!
I know I shouldnt have had the abortion, but I was hurt that she lied to me, made me feel comfortable telling her, then hurt my dad like that! My dad told me he would have raised the child, and that he dis-owned me as his daughter! My mom of course was more mad about my stepmom lying to me and getting the abortion because of my ex came 2nd! That was 7 yrs ago and I think Ive seen my dad mmm 7-10 times! And the other day he came by my job, secretly, because he had gone to drop off my stepmom to the airport. I took a picture with him and uploaded it to instagram because he said he didnt want Sylvia to know he went to see me! He asked me to take the picture down and I did and with that I hurtingly took away the love and respect I had for my dad! I hope she is happy now! She got my dad all to herself! And she has 2 older daughters and my dad call them his babies!! there was a salmons day festival and my sisters ran into my dad! HE DIDNT EVEN SPEAK TO THEM!!! My 17 year old sister cried like I had never seen her cry before, she is always so tough, my sister broke down! But there is a God and one day he will make her pay, and maybe me too! But I would say dont let her take ur dad and your realtionship!! if its worth it!!
So do you agree that things would have been easier for your entire family if your parents hadn't split up?0 -
CJisinShape wrote: »I relate to you 100%
When I was 17 around Oct 2007, my mom and I got into an argument which resulted in me going to my dads to stay. He had just barely moved his new GF like 2 months prior! She was nice and all. But me coming over there was a big mistake. I found out I was pregnant a couple days after, I started having lots of horrible morning, evening and night sickness lol
One day when my dad was not home (she was cool to me at first) we were eating and I had to go puke, she came and sat me down gave the whole I-KNOW-I-AM-NOT-YOUR-MOTHER- SPEECH and asked me if I was pregnant, she assured me my dad would not find out unless I told him. So I felt safe and said I dont know I think so!
She pulled out a pregnancy test, I took it and I was excited too! When I told my boyfriend at the time, he was not happy! And I was going thru so much I was sleeping on my dad's floor, at his 1 bdrm aprt, with him and his GF. My mom and my realtionship was going down the drain because of my stupid boyfriend, (my mom did not ike my boyfriend.) Who would have known 7 yrs later I would be wishing I had listened o my mom! =[
Anyways, my then boyfriend already had a kid, whom he sent to mexico with her mom, so he obviously didnt want a kid. He talked me into well threatened me into having an abortion. Meanwhile my stepmom was listenin to the whole conversation. He told me he didnt want a baby right now, I was not ready barely 17, if I did not get an abortion he would leave me like he did to his exbaby momma, and blah blah blah! So stupid me got an abortion!! My dad lives 1 hr away from where my actual hometown is, like where I lived andwent to school, and my boyfried was. One day my boyfriend went to pick me up, took me to get the abortion, and at night took me back to my dads as if nothing had happened. When I got home (to my dads) my stepmom came into my room,(atthis time we had already oves into a 2 bdrm. And she was like "You got an abortion didnt you?" I said yes. ad cried. She promised me she would never tell my dad, and it was going to be our "MOM AND DAUGHTER SECRET!" I had a great relationship then, at the beginning she had talked o me into keeping my baby, and she started telling some people how she was going to be a grandma. Less than a week later my dad came into my room yelling and mad asking me if its true I got an abortion? I was scared and was like "No papa no I didnt! Why would u say that?" DAD:" Because you were feeling sick a couple days ago and I asked Sylvia if u were preggon and she said maybe u got an abortion!" Are you pregnant yes or no? I said no! He was like even if u did get an abortion pregnancy test will still showpositive!"
I was so mad! I WAS SO SCARED! SHE LIED TO ME!!! I called my bf and told him, he checked online and he said it was true I will still get a positive test even after a month after the abortion. So one night my bf drove 1.5 hours just to drop off some of his pee and sneaked it in! I was so scared I kept telling my dad I did not have to pee! I didne have alone time with Sylvia (ny step mom) to *kitten* her out!! the next morning I woke my dad up at 6 am and told him I had to pee he gave me a little container to pee in and I poured my ex's pee. of course it came out negative!! She was dumbfounded!!! She knew what I did! After that my dad s relationship and mine went down!! I have 2 younger sisters who he doesnt see anymore because of her, he has not given any child support at ll for them either! I am crying as Im writing this because my dad used to love us so much he would come vivit us all the time! I moved back in with my mom, and spoke to my dad everynow and then. One time he asked me if hecould talk to me, my mom found out about what happened of how they thought I was preggo, we went to starbucks and I told them all this. They both cried!
I know I shouldnt have had the abortion, but I was hurt that she lied to me, made me feel comfortable telling her, then hurt my dad like that! My dad told me he would have raised the child, and that he dis-owned me as his daughter! My mom of course was more mad about my stepmom lying to me and getting the abortion because of my ex came 2nd! That was 7 yrs ago and I think Ive seen my dad mmm 7-10 times! And the other day he came by my job, secretly, because he had gone to drop off my stepmom to the airport. I took a picture with him and uploaded it to instagram because he said he didnt want Sylvia to know he went to see me! He asked me to take the picture down and I did and with that I hurtingly took away the love and respect I had for my dad! I hope she is happy now! She got my dad all to herself! And she has 2 older daughters and my dad call them his babies!! there was a salmons day festival and my sisters ran into my dad! HE DIDNT EVEN SPEAK TO THEM!!! My 17 year old sister cried like I had never seen her cry before, she is always so tough, my sister broke down! But there is a God and one day he will make her pay, and maybe me too! But I would say dont let her take ur dad and your realtionship!! if its worth it!!
So do you agree that things would have been easier for your entire family if your parents hadn't split up?
Edited to add: God can turn what people meant for evil into a good result fir you. I can see through the text you are still hurting terribly over this, but I want you to know that you CAN heal from this hurt, that you will be able to look back and see how God has taken your pain and made a beautiful future for you. Best wishes!
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SpeSHul_SnoflEHk wrote: »CJisinShape wrote: »Romyarts2014 wrote: »I'm going to stop coming on here to talk! This is ridiculous ..... my ex be and my step mom have nothing in common..
shame
Yeah, seriously. That comment they made was pretty pointless.
Then again, so is asking for relationship advice on a fitness forum.
What is wrong with asking for relationship advice on a fitness forum that is under "Chit Chat, Fun, and Games"? Am I missing some unknown rule?
To the OP, I also wish you the best. Set boundaries. I've had 3 step-mothers. All 3 were terrible and now long gone, so I do know what you are going through.
No. There is nothing wrong with it, as long as you realize you are going to open it up to every yahoo out there with an opinion, and open yourself up to varying levels of criticism and attack. Your best bet is to stick to a close circle of friends and you won't have to deal with responses like the ones that were being called pointless.
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CJisinShape wrote: »I relate to you 100%
When I was 17 around Oct 2007, my mom and I got into an argument which resulted in me going to my dads to stay. He had just barely moved his new GF like 2 months prior! She was nice and all. But me coming over there was a big mistake. I found out I was pregnant a couple days after, I started having lots of horrible morning, evening and night sickness lol
One day when my dad was not home (she was cool to me at first) we were eating and I had to go puke, she came and sat me down gave the whole I-KNOW-I-AM-NOT-YOUR-MOTHER- SPEECH and asked me if I was pregnant, she assured me my dad would not find out unless I told him. So I felt safe and said I dont know I think so!
She pulled out a pregnancy test, I took it and I was excited too! When I told my boyfriend at the time, he was not happy! And I was going thru so much I was sleeping on my dad's floor, at his 1 bdrm aprt, with him and his GF. My mom and my realtionship was going down the drain because of my stupid boyfriend, (my mom did not ike my boyfriend.) Who would have known 7 yrs later I would be wishing I had listened o my mom! =[
Anyways, my then boyfriend already had a kid, whom he sent to mexico with her mom, so he obviously didnt want a kid. He talked me into well threatened me into having an abortion. Meanwhile my stepmom was listenin to the whole conversation. He told me he didnt want a baby right now, I was not ready barely 17, if I did not get an abortion he would leave me like he did to his exbaby momma, and blah blah blah! So stupid me got an abortion!! My dad lives 1 hr away from where my actual hometown is, like where I lived andwent to school, and my boyfried was. One day my boyfriend went to pick me up, took me to get the abortion, and at night took me back to my dads as if nothing had happened. When I got home (to my dads) my stepmom came into my room,(atthis time we had already oves into a 2 bdrm. And she was like "You got an abortion didnt you?" I said yes. ad cried. She promised me she would never tell my dad, and it was going to be our "MOM AND DAUGHTER SECRET!" I had a great relationship then, at the beginning she had talked o me into keeping my baby, and she started telling some people how she was going to be a grandma. Less than a week later my dad came into my room yelling and mad asking me if its true I got an abortion? I was scared and was like "No papa no I didnt! Why would u say that?" DAD:" Because you were feeling sick a couple days ago and I asked Sylvia if u were preggon and she said maybe u got an abortion!" Are you pregnant yes or no? I said no! He was like even if u did get an abortion pregnancy test will still showpositive!"
I was so mad! I WAS SO SCARED! SHE LIED TO ME!!! I called my bf and told him, he checked online and he said it was true I will still get a positive test even after a month after the abortion. So one night my bf drove 1.5 hours just to drop off some of his pee and sneaked it in! I was so scared I kept telling my dad I did not have to pee! I didne have alone time with Sylvia (ny step mom) to *kitten* her out!! the next morning I woke my dad up at 6 am and told him I had to pee he gave me a little container to pee in and I poured my ex's pee. of course it came out negative!! She was dumbfounded!!! She knew what I did! After that my dad s relationship and mine went down!! I have 2 younger sisters who he doesnt see anymore because of her, he has not given any child support at ll for them either! I am crying as Im writing this because my dad used to love us so much he would come vivit us all the time! I moved back in with my mom, and spoke to my dad everynow and then. One time he asked me if hecould talk to me, my mom found out about what happened of how they thought I was preggo, we went to starbucks and I told them all this. They both cried!
I know I shouldnt have had the abortion, but I was hurt that she lied to me, made me feel comfortable telling her, then hurt my dad like that! My dad told me he would have raised the child, and that he dis-owned me as his daughter! My mom of course was more mad about my stepmom lying to me and getting the abortion because of my ex came 2nd! That was 7 yrs ago and I think Ive seen my dad mmm 7-10 times! And the other day he came by my job, secretly, because he had gone to drop off my stepmom to the airport. I took a picture with him and uploaded it to instagram because he said he didnt want Sylvia to know he went to see me! He asked me to take the picture down and I did and with that I hurtingly took away the love and respect I had for my dad! I hope she is happy now! She got my dad all to herself! And she has 2 older daughters and my dad call them his babies!! there was a salmons day festival and my sisters ran into my dad! HE DIDNT EVEN SPEAK TO THEM!!! My 17 year old sister cried like I had never seen her cry before, she is always so tough, my sister broke down! But there is a God and one day he will make her pay, and maybe me too! But I would say dont let her take ur dad and your realtionship!! if its worth it!!
So do you agree that things would have been easier for your entire family if your parents hadn't split up?
I guess yes! I don trmember what my familywas like before the split! =[0 -
CJisinShape wrote: »CJisinShape wrote: »I relate to you 100%
When I was 17 around Oct 2007, my mom and I got into an argument which resulted in me going to my dads to stay. He had just barely moved his new GF like 2 months prior! She was nice and all. But me coming over there was a big mistake. I found out I was pregnant a couple days after, I started having lots of horrible morning, evening and night sickness lol
One day when my dad was not home (she was cool to me at first) we were eating and I had to go puke, she came and sat me down gave the whole I-KNOW-I-AM-NOT-YOUR-MOTHER- SPEECH and asked me if I was pregnant, she assured me my dad would not find out unless I told him. So I felt safe and said I dont know I think so!
She pulled out a pregnancy test, I took it and I was excited too! When I told my boyfriend at the time, he was not happy! And I was going thru so much I was sleeping on my dad's floor, at his 1 bdrm aprt, with him and his GF. My mom and my realtionship was going down the drain because of my stupid boyfriend, (my mom did not ike my boyfriend.) Who would have known 7 yrs later I would be wishing I had listened o my mom! =[
Anyways, my then boyfriend already had a kid, whom he sent to mexico with her mom, so he obviously didnt want a kid. He talked me into well threatened me into having an abortion. Meanwhile my stepmom was listenin to the whole conversation. He told me he didnt want a baby right now, I was not ready barely 17, if I did not get an abortion he would leave me like he did to his exbaby momma, and blah blah blah! So stupid me got an abortion!! My dad lives 1 hr away from where my actual hometown is, like where I lived andwent to school, and my boyfried was. One day my boyfriend went to pick me up, took me to get the abortion, and at night took me back to my dads as if nothing had happened. When I got home (to my dads) my stepmom came into my room,(atthis time we had already oves into a 2 bdrm. And she was like "You got an abortion didnt you?" I said yes. ad cried. She promised me she would never tell my dad, and it was going to be our "MOM AND DAUGHTER SECRET!" I had a great relationship then, at the beginning she had talked o me into keeping my baby, and she started telling some people how she was going to be a grandma. Less than a week later my dad came into my room yelling and mad asking me if its true I got an abortion? I was scared and was like "No papa no I didnt! Why would u say that?" DAD:" Because you were feeling sick a couple days ago and I asked Sylvia if u were preggon and she said maybe u got an abortion!" Are you pregnant yes or no? I said no! He was like even if u did get an abortion pregnancy test will still showpositive!"
I was so mad! I WAS SO SCARED! SHE LIED TO ME!!! I called my bf and told him, he checked online and he said it was true I will still get a positive test even after a month after the abortion. So one night my bf drove 1.5 hours just to drop off some of his pee and sneaked it in! I was so scared I kept telling my dad I did not have to pee! I didne have alone time with Sylvia (ny step mom) to *kitten* her out!! the next morning I woke my dad up at 6 am and told him I had to pee he gave me a little container to pee in and I poured my ex's pee. of course it came out negative!! She was dumbfounded!!! She knew what I did! After that my dad s relationship and mine went down!! I have 2 younger sisters who he doesnt see anymore because of her, he has not given any child support at ll for them either! I am crying as Im writing this because my dad used to love us so much he would come vivit us all the time! I moved back in with my mom, and spoke to my dad everynow and then. One time he asked me if hecould talk to me, my mom found out about what happened of how they thought I was preggo, we went to starbucks and I told them all this. They both cried!
I know I shouldnt have had the abortion, but I was hurt that she lied to me, made me feel comfortable telling her, then hurt my dad like that! My dad told me he would have raised the child, and that he dis-owned me as his daughter! My mom of course was more mad about my stepmom lying to me and getting the abortion because of my ex came 2nd! That was 7 yrs ago and I think Ive seen my dad mmm 7-10 times! And the other day he came by my job, secretly, because he had gone to drop off my stepmom to the airport. I took a picture with him and uploaded it to instagram because he said he didnt want Sylvia to know he went to see me! He asked me to take the picture down and I did and with that I hurtingly took away the love and respect I had for my dad! I hope she is happy now! She got my dad all to herself! And she has 2 older daughters and my dad call them his babies!! there was a salmons day festival and my sisters ran into my dad! HE DIDNT EVEN SPEAK TO THEM!!! My 17 year old sister cried like I had never seen her cry before, she is always so tough, my sister broke down! But there is a God and one day he will make her pay, and maybe me too! But I would say dont let her take ur dad and your realtionship!! if its worth it!!
So do you agree that things would have been easier for your entire family if your parents hadn't split up?
Edited to add: God can turn what people meant for evil into a good result fir you. I can see through the text you are still hurting terribly over this, but I want you to know that you CAN heal from this hurt, that you will be able to look back and see how God has taken your pain and made a beautiful future for you. Best wishes!
Thank you! That is true before I hated her so much but when I came to Jesus everything was diferent I dont hate her I just feel sad because my dad cant stand up to her!0 -
CJisinShape wrote: »JenAndSome wrote: »Romyarts2014 wrote: »I'm going to stop coming on here to talk! This is ridiculous ..... my ex be and my step mom have nothing in common..
shame
Sound advice.
The point they are trying to make is that you seem to have a lot of drama in your life. That you tend to share that drama with strangers is indicative that the problem may be *you* and not *them*CJisinShape wrote: »As a child of a stepfamily, do you agree with this article?
http://m.ncregister.com/daily-news/better-to-stay-in-a-bad-marriage/#.VD8T-mS9Kc3
Excerpt:
“Society is telling people a lie: that if you married a jerk then you’ll be better off and your children will be better off if you dump him. ‘It’s not your fault: You just married the wrong person.’
“But what people need to hear is what research really shows: that your children will be much better off — much better off, according to every measure researchers can think of — if you can hang in there with the father of these children and make it work.”
According to who, The National Catholic Register?? You think maybe there's some bias at play there?
I'm not Catholic and I posted it.
As a child that grew up in a big family and had to listen to my parents yell at each other and get violent at times , I was most relieved when they finally split up.
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If you are stressed out by family then absolutely take a break! While you stay away for a while, start coming up with some boundaries with them. You are not trapped in that family, but you are choosing to be apart of it. Sounds like step mom just likes you when it is convenient to her, which is horrible. Do not feel bad or guilty for taking care of yourself!
I know for my bio-mother and father, if I am too close things get tense. I find keeping distance the best for everyone's sanity.0 -
Stawp! No attacks ever happen here!SpeSHul_SnoflEHk wrote: »SpeSHul_SnoflEHk wrote: »CJisinShape wrote: »Romyarts2014 wrote: »I'm going to stop coming on here to talk! This is ridiculous ..... my ex be and my step mom have nothing in common..
shame
Yeah, seriously. That comment they made was pretty pointless.
Then again, so is asking for relationship advice on a fitness forum.
What is wrong with asking for relationship advice on a fitness forum that is under "Chit Chat, Fun, and Games"? Am I missing some unknown rule?
To the OP, I also wish you the best. Set boundaries. I've had 3 step-mothers. All 3 were terrible and now long gone, so I do know what you are going through.
No. There is nothing wrong with it, as long as you realize you are going to open it up to every yahoo out there with an opinion, and open yourself up to varying levels of criticism and attack. Your best bet is to stick to a close circle of friends and you won't have to deal with responses like the ones that were being called pointless.
0 -
CJisinShape wrote: »JenAndSome wrote: »Romyarts2014 wrote: »I'm going to stop coming on here to talk! This is ridiculous ..... my ex be and my step mom have nothing in common..
shame
Sound advice.
The point they are trying to make is that you seem to have a lot of drama in your life. That you tend to share that drama with strangers is indicative that the problem may be *you* and not *them*CJisinShape wrote: »As a child of a stepfamily, do you agree with this article?
http://m.ncregister.com/daily-news/better-to-stay-in-a-bad-marriage/#.VD8T-mS9Kc3
Excerpt:
“Society is telling people a lie: that if you married a jerk then you’ll be better off and your children will be better off if you dump him. ‘It’s not your fault: You just married the wrong person.’
“But what people need to hear is what research really shows: that your children will be much better off — much better off, according to every measure researchers can think of — if you can hang in there with the father of these children and make it work.”
According to who, The National Catholic Register?? You think maybe there's some bias at play there?
I'm not Catholic and I posted it.
As a child that grew up in a big family and had to listen to my parents yell at each other and get violent at times , I was most relieved when they finally split up.
Ditto, when my parents split it was a total relief.
When I left my ex I know I was going what was best for my daughter. Really these "studies" are suggestive and anyone with any academic background knows the data can be manipulated so I highly doubt it's "better" for kids to see unhealthy relationships and view that as normal.
The concept of nuclear family is a social construct and so are the ideas we have about it being "the best possible". People shouldn't stick it out in unhappy situations and it is cruel to say otherwise, particularly so when they're told their children will suffer.
OP- I think it's absolutely healthy to take a step back in situations where you feel unappreciated and undervalued, better to look after yourself first.0
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