Why people are mean?

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  • vegasgyrl79971
    vegasgyrl79971 Posts: 56
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    hookilau wrote: »
    You're grown.
    Your profile says you're 38 years old.

    Stand strong & don't cave to peer pressure, which in & of itself is a very odd thing to have to deal if you're not a tween or teenager.

    It really is an odd thing to deal with if you aren't of school age, but its sad that we do still deal with it in our adult lives.
  • 50sFit
    50sFit Posts: 712 Member
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    whippetwomen wrote: »
    Never apologize, never explain;-)
    This is my life philosophy!

  • 50sFit
    50sFit Posts: 712 Member
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    bonkers1224 wrote: »
    Stand tall and be proud! you owe them nothing :)
    ^^^^
    (*) THIS (*)

  • besaro
    besaro Posts: 1,858 Member
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    huh?
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    Wow. You must have very thin skin. I give crap and take it from my friends all the time. It is all in good fun. Like Rick's bowl of sadness that he eats all of the time.
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
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    Just because someone comments about a muffin or a dessert doesn't mean they are jealous, insecure or being rude. It could literally just be a off hand comment that you're taking to heart.

    I've never had any of my friends "pressure" me or make comments in a negative way about my weight loss. It's probably because I don't expect them to.

    If you expect people to be jerks, they will always be jerks, because that it how you interpret every single one of their actions.

    Just my two cents.
  • oedipa_maas
    oedipa_maas Posts: 577 Member
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    I don't think anyone was being intentionally mean. Some of it was light teasing, which can be irritating, but may not have some deep dark jealousy underlying it. Same with the woman who offered dessert. Maybe she was trying to undermine you, maybe not, but it would be helpful to develop a bit of a teflon skin. Just let it roll off of you if it bothers you. These just seem like incredibly small moments, and it would help you, I think, to work on being impervious to them.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
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    One thing I had to learn in this process was how not to give in to people trying to get me off my plan, or who didn't understand my plan. People naturally react to anything other than the status quo, so sometimes it got me attention I didn't want, usually in the form of good-natured ribbing. I didn't always love it, but I realize it's just part of the process.
  • NoelFigart1
    NoelFigart1 Posts: 1,276 Member
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    gotanda wrote: »
    I lost more than 60 lbs gradually within 8 months and now size 2-4 and I was size 16. My boss told me yesterday that I look 20 years younger after this weight loss ( nice because he does not compliment in every corner and sounded genuine )... I did it mostly by weighing my food and religiously not eating any pastries or sugary or junk food. The girl at work pressured me to eat a small amount of muffin and spread the roumor that I ate some. Now other people are rediculing me that I should have a day off diet, or it's a slippery slope... I am mad at my friend telling people about me eating that muffin and laughing at me. How should I approach the subject with my friend? I am not rediculing her bad eating habits... Also at the party one of the friends came to me when I just entered and said that she cooked special desert and I must eat some... How to answer that too!? I said there is too much obligations right off the bat, but thank you for thinking about me. I think women are mad at me that I lost so much weight. How to cope with this jellousy?

    Tell them that policing your body and eating is offensive, and it's offensive when they do it to anyone -- fat or thin. That they're participating in their own mistreatment when they do it.
  • CJisinShape
    CJisinShape Posts: 1,404 Member
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    emdeesea wrote: »
    Don't let these people live rent free in your head.

    I thank you for this quote! Can I use it?
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    edited October 2014
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    It sounds light-hearted. Now that you are slender, people will joke about your slenderness. People have been doing that my whole life. And they will do this either by making jokes about how slim you are (If I hold up a pencil in front of you, you disappear), or "Oh no, don't gain weight". Or by making jokes that contrast your slimness, such as that you are going to eat all the cake, etc. Or they will call you fat.
  • the_arghbowl
    the_arghbowl Posts: 63 Member
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    wheird wrote: »
    Wow. You must have very thin skin. I give crap and take it from my friends all the time. It is all in good fun. Like Rick's bowl of sadness that he eats all of the time.

    Mmmm my bowl of disgusting sadness. <3<3<3
  • MzCongeniality70
    MzCongeniality70 Posts: 352 Member
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    Who cares what they have to say! You ate a piece of muffin? OH NO!!!!! You may be going to HELL!!!! ;) Seriously, who effin' cares what other people think.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
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    Omg they sound like horrible people. How terrible you have to deal with "those" people. Or something.
  • fitcurves6693
    fitcurves6693 Posts: 3,401 Member
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    I have been through food bullying at work too. I laugh it off and keep walking. Stick to your guns, they are simply jealous. I have also tried not talking too much about my workouts and weight loss unless someone asks.
  • gotanda
    gotanda Posts: 26
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    Me too, I am not discussing food and exercise at work either, unless someone approaches me. I think they are all good people, I just have to say something back rather than rant here. I guess anyone could say something rude without realizing. I will have to tell them that it bothers me and this most likely will solve the problem. Just interesting to observe how friendships disappear and people are becoming not very nice if you lose weight. Well, I will find new friends.
  • SuninVirgo
    SuninVirgo Posts: 255 Member
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    Smile and say, thanks but I just ate.
  • Icandoityayme
    Icandoityayme Posts: 312 Member
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    Their comments are more about themselves than about you even though the comments are directed towards you. They certainly aren't going to point out their own faults so they point out other people's faults. So what you had a muffin, you can afford to have one because you have worked hard to get where you are now and one muffin isn't going to make or break that work.
  • VitalStrong
    VitalStrong Posts: 16 Member
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    I'm all too familiar with this behavior. It happens with other life changes as well. She is not your friend. Keep your eating and exercise habits to yourself. Change the subject when people want to talk about it. Say "no thank you" when offered food. They should accept that, if they don't they are pressuring you. You call the shots.

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