Off the wagon :(

I often find that when I'm feeling down a hot drink of tea without sugar (black with a little milk or green with no milk) and taking time to just enjoy the warmth of the drink really helps. By only focusing on a small simple task it can help you to stop thinking about other problems and you won't feel the need to binge as much. Just take every moment as it comes ^_^. You need to make time to just chill, it really helps.

Malorie, first off *BIG HUGS* Yes, I have been there before! And I think a lot of us have! One thing that I honestly think may help you, and I know has truly helped me more than anything, is I realized, I don't diet. Diets do NOT work for ME. They never have, and they never WILL. They might for some people, but not for me. I had to change my lifestyle.

And with that, I had to find something that *I* could live with, and it had to be reasonable. I had to find something where I could eat food- REAL food. Meaning, meat, veggies, fruits, carbs, and yes, chocolate, and fast food, too! I'm a real person. I knew if I went on some quick diet where I just ate salads or drank shakes, yeah, I might lose 30 pounds *well, if PCOS hadn't hindered me- but in theory* but I'd just gain it back when I began to actually eat food.

So, what I did, was take a look at what I ate realistically. As a woman with PCOS, the most important thing for me to do, is keep my daily carbohydrate check in count to lose weight. So, what I do, is plan what I want around that. There is absolutely NOTHING I can't or DON'T have. I just know the proper portions to have, and I stick to them. I drink enough water to where I'm going to end up with a hump like a camel (that I've always done, though- I swear there's something wrong with me, because I crave tap water).

But one thing that I do encourage you to do, change the way you're looking at food, and all of this completely. It's not a diet. It's changing your lifestyle. You're looking to make healthier choices. You can certainly incorporate some of the things you enjoy into meals, or even have them as meals! If you're in doubt about something, or just want to see what something might be, "pre-plan" so to speak. It can give you an idea of what a day might look like, if you're wanting for instance, to cook breakfast at home, maybe have pizza for lunch, have some fruit for a snack, then have a healthy dinner- it will tell you exactly how to prepare, and what your calories, ect are for the day.

Most of all, don't beat yourself up. You're human. We all make mistakes. My thing used to be, when I was stressed I would smoke. I'd smoke a pack of cigarettes in the blink of an eye. I felt SO much guilt over that. Then, it finally hit me one day- I'm in control. I can do this. After smoking for 23 years, I quit. I NEVER, ever thought I would. I really thought I'd go to my grave with a pack of Marlboro Lights Menthols beside of me. But I've been smoke free for a little over two months now.

When things get overwhelming, remember, I can do this, if just for this hour. Focus on getting through the hour. Whatever it is that you need to do to distract yourself- taking a walk, calling a friend, watching a television program, sending an email, taking a relaxing bath, do something positive to help you cope with the stress. Then, remember, just for today. I can do this, just for today. Once you've made it through the hour, work on the day. Don't worry about how long you've got to go- don't think about weeks, months, years- take it hour by hour, day by day.

You can do this! I believe in you!

Anxiety and eating disordered behaviours are an unpleasant combo, I feel you. I come from the other end of the spectrum (restricting, overcompensation with exercise, and purging) but I have the utmost empathy for you. Sometimes eating becomes more than just a day-to-day survival thing and can transform into a horrible, guilt-laden battle. Thankfully you have the power to change your perceptions! Good on you for taking control.
My best "do it today" suggestion is to not keep bingable treats in the house until you have settled into a healthier day-to-day eating habits regime. Keep fat free cool whip in the freezer instead of ice cream (hey it's not ideal but you can eat the whole tub in one sitting and it's less calories than a big bowl of ice cream). Pre-cut carrot and celery sticks at the start of the week so when you need to mindlessly snack, there's a big container of veggies instead of cookies or chips. Once you get used to what portion sizes are actually appropriate, then you can reintroduce the occasional treat. I like to pre-ration snacks as well, in snack-sized Ziplock bags and keep the main bag in a weird cupboard so no grabbing and mindlessly snacking on countless handfulls can occur.
Most honestly, the best advice I can give you is to talk to your doctor or a councillor. If you have diagnosable depression, then medication or Cognitive Behaviour Therapy might be the best way to tackle the underlying issues which may have lead to your weight problem. It's hard, but if you're seeking help from strangers on the internet, you know in your heart that you should be talking to someone.
Good luck and best wishes.

OP, I feel the same way you do so I don't have much advice. But I LOVE LOVE LOVE thingofstuff's reply.

Also, this is great:

When things get overwhelming, remember, I can do this, if just for this hour. Focus on getting through the hour. Whatever it is that you need to do to distract yourself- taking a walk, calling a friend, watching a television program, sending an email, taking a relaxing bath, do something positive to help you cope with the stress. Then, remember, just for today. I can do this, just for today. Once you've made it through the hour, work on the day. Don't worry about how long you've got to go- don't think about weeks, months, years- take it hour by hour, day by day.

BUMP for more advice!