A compliment or not?

mommy1364 · October 2014

I've never really been one who liked getting complimented on my weight (or in general) because I've never been happy with it, no matter what it was (maybe one short period of my life I was content with the way I looked.) So when I get "complimented" on my weight, I'm never quite sure how to feel about it. Example, earlier today I went to a gas station that I frequent as it's on my way to work. The cashier says "you've lost weight!" I said thank you and she asked how I did it so I told her. I appreciate the compliment and a little part of me feels good that someone noticed. But at the same time, I can't help but think what am I thanking her for? Thank you for noticing I was over weight before?...or thank you for noticing the weight loss? The insecure part of me right away thinks "thank you for noticing the extra weight that I was so embarassed about and confirming my worry that others noticed it too" while the rest of me wishes I could just feel good about myself/the loss and drive on. Anyone else feel that way??

rpsg0534 · October 2014

Yes. It is hard to know what to say. I am burdened by the shame of knowing that I was living with unhealthy habits that got me there to begin with. But, I think that most people are trying to acknowledge your commitment to a healthy lifestyle and so compliment your progress. They also do it, I think, because they also want to know the "how" part. My mother says when I asked her, "What do I say?" - Say "thank you".

joseccastaneda · October 2014

I've gotten that but i take it as more of thanks for noticing the effort that i'm putting in.

Oxmarqt · October 2014

Maybe sometimes BUT. I think the bigger compliment is that of all the people that cashier sees in a day they remember you. Might be the weight thing but more likely it is something you do without thinking that they consider nice. Maybe a hello or a thank you or a have a nice day that you give them.

That reflects on you as a person as opposed to you as an object. I also like to think that people in general care about other people and that is why they made the comment. Maybe they did notice the extra weight and it concerned them for your health. Seeing you lighter might have just made their day a little brighter. Who knows.

emdeesea · October 2014

Meh, I think you're over thinking it. People first notice that there's something different about you. Some will figure it out - you've lost weight, that's what's different.

Losing weight is hard work. That's how I take it, anyway. That's why they almost always ask how you did it.

She noticed your hard work. That's all.

TheVirgoddess · October 2014

I get uncomfortable when people comment on my weight loss, too - but I get uncomfortable when people comment on any part of my physical appearance. It's part of my insecurity and self esteem issues and I try not to let that cloud a genuine compliment.

I do think those comments are meant as compliments though - take it as "I see you working on yourself, good job". Not as "hey, good job, fatty!".

janiceesmith12 · October 2014

That was much more complementary than my sister in law was to me. She noticed I had lost weight (about 20 pounds at the time) and she mentioned that she had gained so much that a lot of her clothes didn't fit. She said she was "almost as fat as Janice." I decided that at the rate I was losing and dropping sizes, that by Christmas, I was going to wear a smaller size than her. It is keeping me motivated.

figfighter · October 2014

Yes I hate getting comments on my weight no matter what it is. I've been some different weights throughout my life due to illness and also some medications I've taken. I've been bone thin with some people telling me I look terrible, too skinny, etc. and others telling me they are jealous. I've been heavy, like right now I'm the heaviest I've ever been. I've lost weight at different times and had people comment about my weight loss and my body.

All of it bothers me because it's my body. Other people don't know what's going on with me or my body just by looking at how I appear in their eyes, so the comments bother me. I'd rather hear a compliment about generally looking nice or happy or something. Since I know what it's like to lose weight and be miserable. Just being thin or losing weight alone isn't what I'm looking for, so I hate to get comments about it.

kwantlen2051 · October 2014

Take it for what it is - a compliment. You should be happy that someone noticed your accomplishment. Leave it at that!

PwrLftr82 · October 2014

janiceesmith12 wrote: »

That was much more complementary than my sister in law was to me. She noticed I had lost weight (about 20 pounds at the time) and she mentioned that she had gained so much that a lot of her clothes didn't fit. She said she was "almost as fat as Janice." I decided that at the rate I was losing and dropping sizes, that by Christmas, I was going to wear a smaller size than her. It is keeping me motivated.

Revenge weight loss. I approve!

Jaywalker_7 · October 2014

I get uncomfortable whenever my weight loss is recognized as well. For me it's because my weight signifies a huge and very personal demon. I've battled my weight my entire life and have also battled depression and anxiety. They have generally gone hand in hand. When I've been at my heaviest I'm usually in a darker place. But even during my better times I've still always been big. So people noticing my weight loss, they're getting too close to my personal struggles that I like to keep personal. It's nice to get compliments, but they make me uneasy at the same time. I just smile and say 'thank you'.

bigT24chiefs · October 2014

Sounds like she's acknowledging your hard work.. Hell ill love to get that compliment lol

arditarose · October 2014

When someone says "you've lost weight", I don't say "than you". That doesn't even make sense as a response. I say "yes". If they say "you've lost weight; you look great" then I say "thanks".

wmcmurray61 · October 2014

I always feel weird when someone notices and then compliments me on it, too. Not BAD, exactly, but uncomfortable. Like I am not sure how to respond. Lately, instead of thanking them when they say, "You've lost weight!", I say "I sure have!" and am on my way. Most of the time when people notice they also ask how I did it, which I take it to mean that they'd like to do the same thing. And my answer to that is always the same. "I worked my *kitten* off. Literally!"

LadyLots2Lose · October 2014

I'm still find it a challenge to not feel a little awkward when I get a compliment about my weight loss. It's nice that my efforts are noticed and acknowledged. But, I'm not used to being noticed so, it's a bit of a shock to my system. In my life before this journey I tended to blend into the background which suited my introverted personality perfectly.

Now that I'm close to my goal, feeling healthy and confident, people are noticing the change. I'm wearing different clothes because the old ones are too big and, I'm more vivacious because I have energy to spare. There's nothing wrong with any of that. It's just taking a while for my brain to catch up with the idea that things are different. I still feel like a deer in the headlights of an oncoming truck! I still struggle with what to say particularly to the people who comment on a weekly basis (mostly because there wasn't much of a change since they last saw me).
I guess for me it's been a gradual change over a long period of time so, don't notice a huge difference from yesterday's reflection.

applejax86 · October 2014

Take the complement and move on. Doing this alone will help your confidence. Congrats btw

(no pun intended.

SusanKing1981 · October 2014

I love it when people notice, I've lost 31lbs now and people are really noticing. I get comments often saying you've lost weight, well done, you look good etc. I love getting these comments as it motivates me to continue. If no one mentioned it I'd give up...

A compliment or not?

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