Family doesn't support weight loss

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jasveersingh925
jasveersingh925 Posts: 50 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I've been trying very hard to work on my goal of losing more body fat but I am in conflict with what my family has to say about it all the time. I have lost about 40 lbs since I started losing weight back in February-March and am happy with that, but I have not reached my goal yet. I do not know exactly what weight that is because I am going by my body fat. I still have some belly fat, lovehandles, and I want my waist size to be a 32. I have tried telling everyone that I am not done losing yet, and they keep telling me not to lose any more. It's aggravating. It's not like I am going to be losing weight forever. I know I don't have much more to lose but again I don't know exactly how much or my "goal weight." Sometimes I tell my Mom I want to reach 150 but it is so difficult to try to tell her or anyone else that I don't know yet. I wish didn't have to include anyone with this but my motivation goes down the drain. My aunt the other day said "how much more are you planning to lose" and she said it in this tone of voice that was like "you're irrational for trying to lose more weight." On top of that, when everyone is around, I can't track anything properly and stick to my calorie goal just because THEY don't track. Everyone else is pretty much overweight and doesn't buy into this weighing food and tracking calories stuff. It's like I am doing well with everything for a few days then suddenly I have to eat lunch or dinner and can't count. On top of that as I said there's the comments and lack of communication and understanding about what I am trying to do.

It just seems like this is a lot harder than it needs to be and I can barely speak up about it because people don't understand. How do I deal with this? Thanks.

Replies

  • StaciMarie1974
    StaciMarie1974 Posts: 4,138 Member
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    Find a friend or two you can discuss your goals with, and when it comes to family members who are critical: don't discuss #s if that will make your life easier. If they ask about your goals just tell them you're wanting to tone in a few areas.
  • BigGuy47
    BigGuy47 Posts: 1,768 Member
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    Don't engage in discussions about your personal goals. If they say, "you don't need to lose anymore weight". Thank them for the compliment and then move on. Do your own thing, don't worry about what they have to say.

    Generally speaking, nobody gives a crap about weight loss or fitness unless they are in the process of trying to lose weight or get fit themselves. I'm sure you can find something else to talk about with your family.
  • Branstin
    Branstin Posts: 2,320 Member
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    It is unreasonable and unrealistic to expect people around you to understand and support you when they are not trying to achieve the same goals as you. The best way to deal with it is to not deal with it with them. There is a reason this and other weight management sites have the "Friends" feature. Whether it is weight loss or some other area in your life, surround yourself with like-minded people. I am not suggesting that you surround yourself just with people who will give you a high five when you do something dangerous or incorrect. I mean people who will correctly support you even if it means telling you something for your own good even if you don't want to hear.
  • Dalia_Maria
    Dalia_Maria Posts: 7
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    I wouldn't even talk about weight with them. Stick with "At this point, I'm just looking to tone up and put on some muscle," and avoid any mention of the scary words "lose weight."
  • shexy16
    shexy16 Posts: 68
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    I would just not engage in conversation with them. If they make a comment, just say "yeah" or "uh, huh" or whatever, and just drop it. It's no one's business but yours.
  • Artionis
    Artionis Posts: 105 Member
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    I was surprised that you are an adult of 31. My guess from reading your post was that you were a teenager. Time to call the meeting to order and act like a responsible adult with your family. Do not allow them to derail your progress.
  • Lizzy622
    Lizzy622 Posts: 3,705 Member
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    Find some workout buddies to talk health and weight loss not your family. Track even with them there. Tell them you are doing for maintenance so you don't regain the weight.
  • stardust6060
    stardust6060 Posts: 5 Member
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    I've been where you are and I let them get the best of me. I gained my weight back (50#) and I hated myself and them for it. That was 10 years ago and here I am again. You have to dig deep in yourself. Find that you inside you are looking for and hold on to them. It looks like you have lots of friend here to help you along the trip but it's unfair to expect everyone (our lousy family members) to understand. Find your strength in your knowledge and your heart! Every day you succeed is a battle won by you! And soon they will stop doubting and everyone will stand in amazement at what you have become. Strong and empowered! Hang in there the best is on it's way! *hugs*
  • NewMeowLean
    NewMeowLean Posts: 58
    edited October 2014
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    I don't know your BMI so I don't know if it is sensible for you to lose weight. If it is, go ahead, you losing weight has nothing to do with your family. As for tracking, you cannot make other people track their food just because it's convenient for you!!
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,150 Member
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    Stop discussing it with them, problem solved!
  • Local_Atlantis
    Local_Atlantis Posts: 262 Member
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    Why don't you say something like "I'm just toning up now" that way they will know why you are still weighing the food and that you're working on yourself without a number as a goal.

    In their own way, they are only looking out for you. You've obviously accomplished a great loss! You should be very proud! :smile:
  • suppakana
    suppakana Posts: 307 Member
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    BigGuy47 wrote: »
    Generally speaking, nobody gives a crap about weight loss or fitness unless they are in the process of trying to lose weight or get fit themselves.

    This, this, a thousand times this.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    It's you that is trying to change your life and body, not them. Therefore, sadly, it really has nothing to do with them and everything to do with you, maybe for the first time in your life. That's intimidating - but so worth it to stick to it til the end.
  • StaciMarie1974
    StaciMarie1974 Posts: 4,138 Member
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    Don't discuss w/ your family if they're not supportive. If they ask about your goals, don't deal in specifics. Tell them you're looking to tone, become more fit. Also perhaps try NOT to read so much into people's tones, comments. You may misjudge their intentions, or at least the root cause when they are truly being negative. Jealousy, envy and guilt are probably in there somewhere.

    Track the best you can. If family gives you criticism about your food choices/amounts just tell them you're focused on nutrition and fueling your body. Lead by example.

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