Pretty disappointed...

SueLaboo
SueLaboo Posts: 26
edited September 26 in Motivation and Support
So, I hit my goal weight on Easter Monday...10 days before the date I set as my goal. I have been working on this since August 16 and worked really hard at it...you all know how much work is required to do this. I lost 42 lbs in 36 weeks. Sent hubby a photo of the scale with me on it showing that I had hit my target and said, "I did it!" (He was at work.) He replied with, "WTG!" That was IT...pretty disappointed. Thought maybe something like that warranted maybe flowers or at least a card? *sigh*

I'm proud of what I did, just thought he would be more proud seeing as he has started trying to eat healthier and exercise with me and has lost about 8 lbs himself. So he knows it's not easy.
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Replies

  • sassylilmama
    sassylilmama Posts: 1,493 Member
    One word: MEN No offense to the guys on here but men in general just do not know what to say to these things. I am sure he thought he was being supportive. You did an amazing thing, CONGRATS!
  • Hmf414
    Hmf414 Posts: 30
    Congrats! But maybe he'll bring something home after work? (:
  • AggieCass09
    AggieCass09 Posts: 1,867 Member
    in the end of the day you are your only cheerleader! treat YOURSELF to something (new tiny clothes, pedicure, new work out clothes, etc)

    That is an awesome accomplishment you've made and in a short amount of time but dont let ANYONE take the excitement away.
  • ktblueyz
    ktblueyz Posts: 72
    dont take it personal. guys arent too savy in that department lol. they dont know how to tell what reaction we want unless we straight up tell them lol. guys are social dumbasses.
  • SpaceMarkus
    SpaceMarkus Posts: 651
    As a guy myself, he probably thinks that having that goal and getting to your ideal weight is more gratifying than flowers or a card can provide.

    I also know I'm pretty short with my gf when I'm working, so wait for him to get home and let him know how proud of your accomplishment you are!
  • godroxmysox
    godroxmysox Posts: 1,491 Member
    It's a man thing...they think a simple pat on the back is enough. I'm sure he is REALLY proud of you =) Don't let it get you down!
  • oddyogi
    oddyogi Posts: 1,816 Member
    If you want to celebrate, why not ask your husband to do something to celebrate? :)

    If you feel irritated at him because of this, it will confuse him. The best advice I ever got for men was if you want something, be blunt. :)
  • lynxcoco
    lynxcoco Posts: 58 Member
    The problem with expecting men to get excited about your weight loss is this...he was happy with you the way you were and "that" still feels the same...so any improvement he thinks is just for yourself (as it should be)...I'm proud of you!!!
  • jdg1mfp
    jdg1mfp Posts: 103
    Easy on the Men bashing.
    Remember who you really did it for.
    I'm sure you know the perfect gift to give yourself.
    Im proud of you though "WTG" :smile:
  • shumatet1982
    shumatet1982 Posts: 93
    I am a guy, and I have the same problem with my gf. I work VERY hard, to get in the shape, that I want to be in, and she is the absolute opposite. Couch potatoe, can't find any motivation for workingout, can't find the proper motivation to eat healthy. What shall I say - I do it for my self! I am proud every time I worked out, every time I ran, every time I made the right choice with my meal.

    You should only do this for your self. And trust me - WE do appreciate your work! We're all in the same boat!
  • tuscaroragal
    tuscaroragal Posts: 78 Member
    MEN, is right...they don't get the importance of celebrating those kind of accomplishments...(at least in my opinion). Don't let it get you down...half the time you have to "fish" for compliments from guys, and it just ain't worth the effort sometimes because it rarely meets our expectations. Find a special way to celebrate your success ON YOUR OWN!!! You have done SO WELL...really!! Treat yourself to something special. And, like the previous poster, maybe ur hubby will surprise you... :)

    Congratulations!
  • melleyd
    melleyd Posts: 432 Member
    So, I hit my goal weight on Easter Monday...10 days before the date I set as my goal. I have been working on this since August 16 and worked really hard at it...you all know how much work is required to do this. I lost 42 lbs in 36 weeks. Sent hubby a photo of the scale with me on it showing that I had hit my target and said, "I did it!" (He was at work.) He replied with, "WTG!" That was IT...pretty disappointed. Thought maybe something like that warranted maybe flowers or at least a card? *sigh*

    I'm proud of what I did, just thought he would be more proud seeing as he has started trying to eat healthier and exercise with me and has lost about 8 lbs himself. So he knows it's not easy.

    Plus he may not want to go overboard and possibly offend you or hurt your feelings, like if he went on and on like you were so *fat* in the first place. He probably thought you were just as beautiful then as you are now. We girls can be so sensitive.....they really don't know what to do. They probably feel they can't do it right anyway so why even try? lol
  • Nekoashi
    Nekoashi Posts: 220 Member
    Try to cut him just a little slack, he is at work and definitely tell him again when he gets home and get on the scale and share the moment of victory with him, let him see just how happy you are and how proud you are of yourself! :) Sharing that moment with him hopefully will bring more joy then any card or flowers will. and you can always suggest a victory dinner or night out :P It doesn't have to be a surprise celebration :)
  • Achoooo
    Achoooo Posts: 130
    Do not think that way, that does not mean he is not proud of you.
    I tend to think like a man, and I don't get why women think that every event or occasion has to include material gifts.
    He's probably thinking the same thing, doesn't really occur to him that he has to do something like that.
    Also because this is the sort of thing that is the reward itself.
  • elle18287
    elle18287 Posts: 267 Member
    Men never know what to say lol.
    I would be dissapointed too. But, this is just how they are.
  • scarnall2
    scarnall2 Posts: 18
    Don't put expectations on your hubby! He probably didn't know you wanted something more. Plus, this is "your" personal achievement. I vote that you do something extra nice for yourself. Tell your husband you want to go out to celebrate you reaching your goals. Heck, buy youself flowers! It's all up to you how you choose to feel and don't feel disappointed because he missed the subtle hints. Give him a BIG hint by buying yourself new shoes or a cute top! Great job!
  • JCGilbert
    JCGilbert Posts: 33
    Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Men are not big communicators, esp if it involves conveying feelings. If you want validation, you must tell him so. Sort of like telling him what you like in bed...he won't know until you LET him know. I know the frustration of email responses, too. My husb will not even type in a full word. All I get is "K." (not even OK...) Go buy yourself flowers! You deserve it!!!!
  • believetoachieve
    believetoachieve Posts: 675 Member
    You're upset because he didn't buy you a present for losing weight?? :huh:

    You did this for YOU, and your health, right? Not for a gift at the end of it, and not just for attention from him. The fact that you lost that much weight successfully is the best gift of all - it's priceless. Be happy with your accomplishments... you shouldn't need a material gift to make you feel happy about an achievement this huge... :flowerforyou:
  • A_New_Horizon
    A_New_Horizon Posts: 1,555 Member
    I think it is hard for men to know exactly what we (women) want. My husband would have done the same thing (trust me). He would have been proud of me but nothing special. Treat yourself, you have worked hard!!! We are proud of you, and you should be so proud of yourself. What an accomplishment.
  • KidP
    KidP Posts: 247 Member
    Take what i'm saying with a grain of salt - and keep in mind that i'm a guy & trying to lose weight too - but for men, the topic of a woman's weight is a sensitive issue. It's like age, but more dangerous (but far less dangerous than congratulating a woman on being pregnant if she didn't actually say "i'm pregnant"...i've seen women pull that bonehead move too). A lot of guys have angered/upset/enraged women over the years whenever the topic of weight has come up in any conversational form. A man knows that you don't go there. Men have conditioned themselves to avoid the topic, so even when it's a positive thing (like reaching your goal, congrats!) most men are probably secretly terrified to say anything at all.

    But - he DID respond to your email with a positive comment, regardless of how short/abbreviated it was. Could be he was just really busy at work. I bet he'll congratulate you more heartily in person!
  • SueLaboo
    SueLaboo Posts: 26
    As a guy myself, he probably thinks that having that goal and getting to your ideal weight is more gratifying than flowers or a card can provide.

    I also know I'm pretty short with my gf when I'm working, so wait for him to get home and let him know how proud of your accomplishment you are!

    Thanks...and that was Monday...it's now Thursday...LOL.
  • loverstreet
    loverstreet Posts: 227 Member
    CONGRATULATIONS! Here are your flowers... :flowerforyou: :happy: :flowerforyou: :happy: :flowerforyou: :happy: :flowerforyou: :happy:

    I've been down this road before with my husband. It's YOUR victory and work and success. Be proud of yourself regardless of his reaction. Go treat yourself to something and don't worry about it. You did this for yourself, not for anyone else!:heart::heart:
  • sammys1girly
    sammys1girly Posts: 1,045 Member
    I bet if he were away for awhile and not seeing you every day, you would get a lot bigger response, but when you see someone each day through their weight loss, it's more of a gradual thing. Just a thought. And my husband says way to go or good job when I am able to run longer or lift more but it's not such a big deal to most guys.
  • hemlock2010
    hemlock2010 Posts: 422 Member
    Yes, so true. He loved you before and still loves you, so this change in you is something YOU are doing for YOU. So go get yourself something to celebrate!

    The problem with expecting men to get excited about your weight loss is this...he was happy with you the way you were and "that" still feels the same...so any improvement he thinks is just for yourself (as it should be)...I'm proud of you!!!
  • MaryS910
    MaryS910 Posts: 348 Member
    He's a guy. I'd buy myself flowers and put them in the middle of the dining room table in a lovely vase with a card that says CONGRATS!
  • tmthorn0927
    tmthorn0927 Posts: 155 Member
    Congratulations!!!!!!!! Unfortunately, my loving, wonderful husband needs to be told to get me flowers!!! lol My husband is also not a texter so I would probably get that very same response. Maybe he was distracted at work.

    At some point I would tell him how I feel and he would apologize and say some kinds words..

    Just know that you ROCK!!!!!!!!!
  • SueLaboo
    SueLaboo Posts: 26
    I am a guy, and I have the same problem with my gf. I work VERY hard, to get in the shape, that I want to be in, and she is the absolute opposite. Couch potatoe, can't find any motivation for workingout, can't find the proper motivation to eat healthy. What shall I say - I do it for my self! I am proud every time I worked out, every time I ran, every time I made the right choice with my meal.

    You should only do this for your self. And trust me - WE do appreciate your work! We're all in the same boat!

    I hear you there...I'm not sure how many times, while sitting on the couch watching tv with the family, my husband handed me a bag of chips to pass to my son on the other side of me! Talk about rubbing it in my face! Anyway, thanks for the positive comment and congrats to you for keeping at it even when she isn't!!! That's REAL commitment! Keep up the good work!
  • SueLaboo
    SueLaboo Posts: 26
    He's a guy. I'd buy myself flowers and put them in the middle of the dining room table in a lovely vase with a card that says CONGRATS!

    I LIKE the way YOU think! LOL Might just do that!!! hahahaha
  • jdg1mfp
    jdg1mfp Posts: 103
    So, I hit my goal weight on Easter Monday...10 days before the date I set as my goal. I have been working on this since August 16 and worked really hard at it...you all know how much work is required to do this. I lost 42 lbs in 36 weeks. Sent hubby a photo of the scale with me on it showing that I had hit my target and said, "I did it!" (He was at work.) He replied with, "WTG!" That was IT...pretty disappointed. Thought maybe something like that warranted maybe flowers or at least a card? *sigh*

    I'm proud of what I did, just thought he would be more proud seeing as he has started trying to eat healthier and exercise with me and has lost about 8 lbs himself. So he knows it's not easy.

    Plus he may not want to go overboard and possibly offend you or hurt your feelings, like if he went on and on like you were so *fat* in the first place. He probably thought you were just as beautiful then as you are now. We girls can be so sensitive.....they really don't know what to do. They probably feel they can't do it right anyway so why even try? lol


    You hit the nail on the head!
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
    My hubby does get excited for me, and when I hit 50 lbs, he bought me a balloon that was intended to be a 50 Bday balloon, but was to celebrate the milestone. Even though I did it for myself, it felt nice to have him join in on my excitement, and so I can understand what you mean when you wanted to have a little more fuss made over it. BUT I also agree with the posters who advocate bluntness. Not in a mad or a mean way, but a direct, impossible to misunderstand way.... "Honey, I feel so proud of my accomplishments that I want to go out and celebrate. Will you plan us a romantic date for this weekend? Surprise me!" That way he has to use his imagination a little and you still communicated your needs in a way that doesn't make him feel bad about himself.


    And, just to add to the other congrats, I am SO completely happy for you that you've met your target!!! I get excited when I see proof over and over that MFP works!! Enjoy your accomplishment!!!
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