Pretty disappointed...

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2

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  • SueLaboo
    SueLaboo Posts: 26
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    As a guy myself, he probably thinks that having that goal and getting to your ideal weight is more gratifying than flowers or a card can provide.

    I also know I'm pretty short with my gf when I'm working, so wait for him to get home and let him know how proud of your accomplishment you are!

    Thanks...and that was Monday...it's now Thursday...LOL.
  • loverstreet
    loverstreet Posts: 227 Member
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    CONGRATULATIONS! Here are your flowers... :flowerforyou: :happy: :flowerforyou: :happy: :flowerforyou: :happy: :flowerforyou: :happy:

    I've been down this road before with my husband. It's YOUR victory and work and success. Be proud of yourself regardless of his reaction. Go treat yourself to something and don't worry about it. You did this for yourself, not for anyone else!:heart::heart:
  • sammys1girly
    sammys1girly Posts: 1,045 Member
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    I bet if he were away for awhile and not seeing you every day, you would get a lot bigger response, but when you see someone each day through their weight loss, it's more of a gradual thing. Just a thought. And my husband says way to go or good job when I am able to run longer or lift more but it's not such a big deal to most guys.
  • hemlock2010
    hemlock2010 Posts: 422 Member
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    Yes, so true. He loved you before and still loves you, so this change in you is something YOU are doing for YOU. So go get yourself something to celebrate!

    The problem with expecting men to get excited about your weight loss is this...he was happy with you the way you were and "that" still feels the same...so any improvement he thinks is just for yourself (as it should be)...I'm proud of you!!!
  • MaryS910
    MaryS910 Posts: 348 Member
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    He's a guy. I'd buy myself flowers and put them in the middle of the dining room table in a lovely vase with a card that says CONGRATS!
  • tmthorn0927
    tmthorn0927 Posts: 155 Member
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    Congratulations!!!!!!!! Unfortunately, my loving, wonderful husband needs to be told to get me flowers!!! lol My husband is also not a texter so I would probably get that very same response. Maybe he was distracted at work.

    At some point I would tell him how I feel and he would apologize and say some kinds words..

    Just know that you ROCK!!!!!!!!!
  • SueLaboo
    SueLaboo Posts: 26
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    I am a guy, and I have the same problem with my gf. I work VERY hard, to get in the shape, that I want to be in, and she is the absolute opposite. Couch potatoe, can't find any motivation for workingout, can't find the proper motivation to eat healthy. What shall I say - I do it for my self! I am proud every time I worked out, every time I ran, every time I made the right choice with my meal.

    You should only do this for your self. And trust me - WE do appreciate your work! We're all in the same boat!

    I hear you there...I'm not sure how many times, while sitting on the couch watching tv with the family, my husband handed me a bag of chips to pass to my son on the other side of me! Talk about rubbing it in my face! Anyway, thanks for the positive comment and congrats to you for keeping at it even when she isn't!!! That's REAL commitment! Keep up the good work!
  • SueLaboo
    SueLaboo Posts: 26
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    He's a guy. I'd buy myself flowers and put them in the middle of the dining room table in a lovely vase with a card that says CONGRATS!

    I LIKE the way YOU think! LOL Might just do that!!! hahahaha
  • jdg1mfp
    jdg1mfp Posts: 103
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    So, I hit my goal weight on Easter Monday...10 days before the date I set as my goal. I have been working on this since August 16 and worked really hard at it...you all know how much work is required to do this. I lost 42 lbs in 36 weeks. Sent hubby a photo of the scale with me on it showing that I had hit my target and said, "I did it!" (He was at work.) He replied with, "WTG!" That was IT...pretty disappointed. Thought maybe something like that warranted maybe flowers or at least a card? *sigh*

    I'm proud of what I did, just thought he would be more proud seeing as he has started trying to eat healthier and exercise with me and has lost about 8 lbs himself. So he knows it's not easy.

    Plus he may not want to go overboard and possibly offend you or hurt your feelings, like if he went on and on like you were so *fat* in the first place. He probably thought you were just as beautiful then as you are now. We girls can be so sensitive.....they really don't know what to do. They probably feel they can't do it right anyway so why even try? lol


    You hit the nail on the head!
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
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    My hubby does get excited for me, and when I hit 50 lbs, he bought me a balloon that was intended to be a 50 Bday balloon, but was to celebrate the milestone. Even though I did it for myself, it felt nice to have him join in on my excitement, and so I can understand what you mean when you wanted to have a little more fuss made over it. BUT I also agree with the posters who advocate bluntness. Not in a mad or a mean way, but a direct, impossible to misunderstand way.... "Honey, I feel so proud of my accomplishments that I want to go out and celebrate. Will you plan us a romantic date for this weekend? Surprise me!" That way he has to use his imagination a little and you still communicated your needs in a way that doesn't make him feel bad about himself.


    And, just to add to the other congrats, I am SO completely happy for you that you've met your target!!! I get excited when I see proof over and over that MFP works!! Enjoy your accomplishment!!!
  • Wileyjoe
    Wileyjoe Posts: 282
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    Funny, I hit my goal and all I got from my wife was 'good job!' To be honest, I didn't expect more than that but maybe I should have:indifferent:

    Congrats:flowerforyou:
  • QueenofCups
    QueenofCups Posts: 365 Member
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    The problem with expecting men to get excited about your weight loss is this...he was happy with you the way you were and "that" still feels the same...so any improvement he thinks is just for yourself (as it should be)...I'm proud of you!!!


    THIS!!!! I have the same issue with my DH. He says things like "awesome!" Or, "Way to go!" But in all honestly he thought I was a sexy goddess at 9 mos pregnant, a fatty, lazy and 220 and now at active and 155. He thinks I am awesome and pretty much thinks everything else is just gravy and for ME. I have not even given myself a treat for losing the weight, so I never thought I would get something from him. Although, he doesn't buy gifts or flowers for any reason. :/
  • bugabaer
    bugabaer Posts: 15
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    congrats on meeting your goal! And don't be disappointed. Like others have said, reward yourself. You deserve it! I'm sure hubby is proud of you as well. And remember, he is at work.
  • janemartin02
    janemartin02 Posts: 2,653 Member
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    Congrats on hitting your goal!!!
  • Onesnap
    Onesnap Posts: 2,819 Member
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    This is pretty silly. He was busy at work most likely. Would you have been happier if he wrote it out:
    "Way to go!"

    If my husband does not answer a text at work I don't get all offended. I can see if he's online via gchat and if I don't see him there I know he's too busy.

    Also, my husband makes me grow my own flowers (it's a running joke in our house).
  • arbragg
    arbragg Posts: 73 Member
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    Like the others said - dont take it personal, men can unintentionally be unsensitive! Since my weight loss has started, my chest has shrunk considerably, and my soon to be husband said to me while I was changing " your right - you don't have much left, how are you going to feed babies with those"? Like really - that is not something I want to hear!! LOL
  • johnwhitent
    johnwhitent Posts: 648 Member
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    If you want to celebrate, why not ask your husband to do something to celebrate? :)

    If you feel irritated at him because of this, it will confuse him. The best advice I ever got for men was if you want something, be blunt. :)

    I tell my wife, "don't be subtle, hit me with a two by four!" I really want to support her in all of her interests, but we just process things differently. How involved was he in your transformation? If my wife hits her weight goal I can promise you she will get a big reaction out of me, but it is in part because she enlisted me to help coach her. Men can grasp projects, particularly when they are "in charge." Anyway, I joined MFP to track my food and exercise, but found a community of like minded advocates. My wife tires of my fitness talk in about two minutes, but I can talk about it all day, and I can do that here. Point is, not everyone can/will hook up with your fitness/health pursuits and goals, but we here at MFP salute you if no one else does. We understand. WELL DONE!!!!!

    edited for spelling
  • SueLaboo
    SueLaboo Posts: 26
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    MWAAAAAAHHHHHH to you all!

    I should probably mention that I grew up in a home where my father always recognized personal achievements by myself and my four siblings. So, I guess that probably plays a big part in the way I feel. I also thought that maybe hubby was busy at work and would say something or give me a hug or something when he got home that night, but that was 3 days ago and still nothing. So, I will have to rely on myself, good friends, good family and my MFP family. Thanks again and keep up the great work!!!
  • anthony438
    anthony438 Posts: 578 Member
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    Congrats on hitting your goal!!!

    I swear, MEN....















    ...wait a minute, I'm a men. Uh oh :sad:
  • Levedi
    Levedi Posts: 290 Member
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    Yeah, I'm going to jump on the "men need to be told" bandwagon. I'm not bashing men, mind you, just saying that even the most supportive and caring guy does better if you look him in the eye and say "Honey. I need the following things." Be as concrete and specific as possible and don't add any accusations of ill will. I used to think I was being pushy and demanding when I did things like that, but from working with a lot of male colleagues I can tell you they appreciate direct talk. So maybe say "Sweetie, it was really hard for me to lose all that weight and I feel like it was a huge accomplishment. I want to celebrate. Will you make reservations/plans/do something fun with me?" He'll probably be really happy about it, especially since weight loss is such a touchy issue in our culture most guys are (justifiably) afraid of getting their heads bitten off if they say anything.

    Hey, at least he didn't do what my father did, which was bring home a 10lb box of Belgian chocolates for my mom.

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