Pretty disappointed...

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Replies

  • Wileyjoe
    Wileyjoe Posts: 282
    Funny, I hit my goal and all I got from my wife was 'good job!' To be honest, I didn't expect more than that but maybe I should have:indifferent:

    Congrats:flowerforyou:
  • QueenofCups
    QueenofCups Posts: 365 Member
    The problem with expecting men to get excited about your weight loss is this...he was happy with you the way you were and "that" still feels the same...so any improvement he thinks is just for yourself (as it should be)...I'm proud of you!!!


    THIS!!!! I have the same issue with my DH. He says things like "awesome!" Or, "Way to go!" But in all honestly he thought I was a sexy goddess at 9 mos pregnant, a fatty, lazy and 220 and now at active and 155. He thinks I am awesome and pretty much thinks everything else is just gravy and for ME. I have not even given myself a treat for losing the weight, so I never thought I would get something from him. Although, he doesn't buy gifts or flowers for any reason. :/
  • bugabaer
    bugabaer Posts: 15
    congrats on meeting your goal! And don't be disappointed. Like others have said, reward yourself. You deserve it! I'm sure hubby is proud of you as well. And remember, he is at work.
  • janemartin02
    janemartin02 Posts: 2,653 Member
    Congrats on hitting your goal!!!
  • Onesnap
    Onesnap Posts: 2,819 Member
    This is pretty silly. He was busy at work most likely. Would you have been happier if he wrote it out:
    "Way to go!"

    If my husband does not answer a text at work I don't get all offended. I can see if he's online via gchat and if I don't see him there I know he's too busy.

    Also, my husband makes me grow my own flowers (it's a running joke in our house).
  • arbragg
    arbragg Posts: 73 Member
    Like the others said - dont take it personal, men can unintentionally be unsensitive! Since my weight loss has started, my chest has shrunk considerably, and my soon to be husband said to me while I was changing " your right - you don't have much left, how are you going to feed babies with those"? Like really - that is not something I want to hear!! LOL
  • johnwhitent
    johnwhitent Posts: 648 Member
    If you want to celebrate, why not ask your husband to do something to celebrate? :)

    If you feel irritated at him because of this, it will confuse him. The best advice I ever got for men was if you want something, be blunt. :)

    I tell my wife, "don't be subtle, hit me with a two by four!" I really want to support her in all of her interests, but we just process things differently. How involved was he in your transformation? If my wife hits her weight goal I can promise you she will get a big reaction out of me, but it is in part because she enlisted me to help coach her. Men can grasp projects, particularly when they are "in charge." Anyway, I joined MFP to track my food and exercise, but found a community of like minded advocates. My wife tires of my fitness talk in about two minutes, but I can talk about it all day, and I can do that here. Point is, not everyone can/will hook up with your fitness/health pursuits and goals, but we here at MFP salute you if no one else does. We understand. WELL DONE!!!!!

    edited for spelling
  • SueLaboo
    SueLaboo Posts: 26
    MWAAAAAAHHHHHH to you all!

    I should probably mention that I grew up in a home where my father always recognized personal achievements by myself and my four siblings. So, I guess that probably plays a big part in the way I feel. I also thought that maybe hubby was busy at work and would say something or give me a hug or something when he got home that night, but that was 3 days ago and still nothing. So, I will have to rely on myself, good friends, good family and my MFP family. Thanks again and keep up the great work!!!
  • anthony438
    anthony438 Posts: 578 Member
    Congrats on hitting your goal!!!

    I swear, MEN....















    ...wait a minute, I'm a men. Uh oh :sad:
  • Levedi
    Levedi Posts: 290 Member
    Yeah, I'm going to jump on the "men need to be told" bandwagon. I'm not bashing men, mind you, just saying that even the most supportive and caring guy does better if you look him in the eye and say "Honey. I need the following things." Be as concrete and specific as possible and don't add any accusations of ill will. I used to think I was being pushy and demanding when I did things like that, but from working with a lot of male colleagues I can tell you they appreciate direct talk. So maybe say "Sweetie, it was really hard for me to lose all that weight and I feel like it was a huge accomplishment. I want to celebrate. Will you make reservations/plans/do something fun with me?" He'll probably be really happy about it, especially since weight loss is such a touchy issue in our culture most guys are (justifiably) afraid of getting their heads bitten off if they say anything.

    Hey, at least he didn't do what my father did, which was bring home a 10lb box of Belgian chocolates for my mom.
  • SueLaboo
    SueLaboo Posts: 26
    Congrats on hitting your goal!!!

    I swear, MEN....














    ...wait a minute, I'm a men. Uh oh :sad:

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!:laugh:
  • neverdull
    neverdull Posts: 6
    I have learned over the last few years that when someone doesn't know what your expectations are they can never reach them. I am always hoping for flowers for my birthday, but I never get any. This year I posted on facebook that people could send me flowers to my work address. Five bouquets later I realized that since no one knew I wanted flowers they couldn't fulfill my expectations and I would always be disappointed.

    This would be a perfect opportunity to tell your husband what your expectations are and then you won't be disappointed.
  • lynxcoco
    lynxcoco Posts: 58 Member
    Congrats on hitting your goal!!!

    I swear, MEN....















    ...wait a minute, I'm a men. Uh oh :sad:



    Hilarious!
  • SueLaboo
    SueLaboo Posts: 26
    I have learned over the last few years that when someone doesn't know what your expectations are they can never reach them. I am always hoping for flowers for my birthday, but I never get any. This year I posted on facebook that people could send me flowers to my work address. Five bouquets later I realized that since no one knew I wanted flowers they couldn't fulfill my expectations and I would always be disappointed.

    This would be a perfect opportunity to tell your husband what your expectations are and then you won't be disappointed.

    Thanks for the advice...I might just try that!
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