Weight & Dating Question!

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Metamorphasis555
Metamorphasis555 Posts: 224
in Chit-Chat
Are any of you currently single & holding off on dating until you lose more weight? I am. Some of my friends & family keep encouraging me to go out on dates & I've had some offers from guys on online dating sites. But...I just haven't "dared" to yet because I'm just not feeling very attractive right now. I think I might continue holding off on dating until I lose at least a little more weight first. Anyone else in the same boat?
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  • superstarcola
    superstarcola Posts: 36
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    I was that way for a while, but I learned that I just need to be confident and go.
    I've met some pretty wonderful friends doing that. :)
  • cdngirl71
    cdngirl71 Posts: 2,707 Member
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    Yep I am in the same boat, LOL. Although I have met some guys from on-line but had no chemistry with them. I have backed off for right now since I don't feel that confident anymore to go out and date.
  • cat_1977
    cat_1977 Posts: 95 Member
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    Oh don't postpone your life. It's short enough without avoiding the dating scene till you've lost a bit more weight. Think of all the great people who you're missing out on meeting who are out there being snapped up by other people.

    Trust me - go for it! I know it's hard when you're feeling self conscious, but you never know when the love of your life might come knocking. Don't be afraid to open the door cause you're not super skinny.

    I just wish I had a few offers!
  • DKBingaman
    DKBingaman Posts: 12
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    Sort of!

    I've never been asked out and i'm not that much over weight! but i want to shed some weight so i can feel more comfortable. I just enjoy being single and maybe i'll start looking when i'm down to my goal!!
  • VixFit2011
    VixFit2011 Posts: 663 Member
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    Are any of you currently single & holding off on dating until you lose more weight? I am. Some of my friends & family keep encouraging me to go out on dates & I've had some offers from guys on online dating sites. But...I just haven't "dared" to yet because I'm just not feeling very attractive right now. I think I might continue holding off on dating until I lose at least a little more weight first. Anyone else in the same boat?


    I'm there too. Although I'm an older woman I'm single and would like to go out with someone nice but I have no confidence at all about dating anyone due to my weight gain and out of shape body.
  • chefchazz
    chefchazz Posts: 427
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    Oh don't postpone your life. It's short enough without avoiding the dating scene till you've lost a bit more weight. Think of all the great people who you're missing out on meeting who are out there being snapped up by other people.

    Trust me - go for it! I know it's hard when you're feeling self conscious, but you never know when the love of your life might come knocking. Don't be afraid to open the door cause you're not super skinny.

    I just wish I had a few offers!
    well said!!
  • kenzietea
    kenzietea Posts: 614 Member
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    It doesn't matter if you are 800 lbs or 10, you won't have a successful relationship until you are confident with who you are and yourself :) If you aren't feeling that way, I would wait until you do- but losing weight isn't the only way you will be confident.
  • melaniecheeks
    melaniecheeks Posts: 6,349 Member
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    Are you only interested in dating people who judge you by your looks?
  • Nysie5
    Nysie5 Posts: 215 Member
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    i can one up you.. i broke up with my boyfriend (besides the fact that it wasnt working) MFP opened my eyes and i have confidence now... so i am waiting i guess, but open to watever happens.. happens.
  • getNskinny2day
    getNskinny2day Posts: 74
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    I'm right there with you. It's not that I am SUPER self conscious, it's just that I have enough on my plate right now with trying to lose the weight that I don't need the added stress of dating on top of that (if that makes any sense).. I've been asked out lately by various guys too and I just tell them that "I'm not really interested in dating anyone right now".

    I think once I get REALLY consistent with my new healthy lifestyle (which I've only been consistent with for about a month now) that I'll be ready to dip my toe in the dating pool. That way I don't get "comfortable" with a guy and start letting myself go because I'll have already made my healthy eating and exercise habits concrete staples in my life by then.
  • downtome
    downtome Posts: 529 Member
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    Yes, i am exactly on the same boat! I sign up for plentyoffish.com and got several offers but I still don't feel confident enough to follow through just yet. I actually just hid my profile because I don't think I'm ready yet. I too want to lose more weight before I start dating again and I'm just plain scared, it's been a long long time. I just divorced about 5 months ago but have been separated for about 3 1/2 years. My ex already has a girlfriend he is marrying, but i'm in no rush, this is my time to work on myself and get my confidence back!
  • Metamorphasis555
    Metamorphasis555 Posts: 224
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    Thanks so muc h for your input ladies! You all gave me alot to think about.
  • lilac01
    lilac01 Posts: 180 Member
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    I broke up with my bf and gained like 7 pounds. Me and my ex made up and now we're dating again. I have like 3 more pounds left to lose.
  • Sumo813
    Sumo813 Posts: 566 Member
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    Definitely has a bit to do with it... but it's a mix of things for me... being cheated on in the past really has a way of screwin with your head, confidence, and anything else positive. But then working full time and being in school also plays a big part in it. When you don't have time to date, it's hard. But school will be done soon, and I'm gaining more confidence back each day... sooo... you ladies better watch out! lol
  • Life0nMars86
    Life0nMars86 Posts: 155 Member
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    I talk to people and flirt and hangout with guys once in a while but haven't really been on a "date" in ages, and yeah I'm still a bit too self conscious right now I think....But I know in all honesty if I'm not happy with myself now, I won't really be happy with myself at my goal weight either, so it's more a matter of learning to accept myself for who I am, no matter what size I am. I do think it's easier to do the whole weight loss thing though without really dating or having a boyfriend, cuz less going out to eat and stuff that usually goes along with it. So for now I think I'll enjoy being single and flirting and see what happens, but I'm not really looking for anything just yet.
  • mixmastermolly
    mixmastermolly Posts: 272
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    I talk to people and flirt and hangout with guys once in a while but haven't really been on a "date" in ages, and yeah I'm still a bit too self conscious right now I think....But I know in all honesty if I'm not happy with myself now, I won't really be happy with myself at my goal weight either, so it's more a matter of learning to accept myself for who I am, no matter what size I am.

    I completely agree with this. I realize that I can't have a successful relationship until I work a lot of things out with myself and find happiness with me. I guess that old, "you can't be happy with someone else until you're happy with you" thing.
  • TS65
    TS65 Posts: 1,024 Member
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    Just some insight from an old married lady.

    I didn't get married until I was 37, so I had quite a lot of "single" experience. One thing I always thought was that losing weight would solve all my dating problems. WRONG! All losing weight did was increase the quantity and quality of *kitten* I had to deal with. :laugh:

    Losing weight just makes you thinner. Period. It doesn't change how you perceive yourself or how you allow people to treat you. It doesn't make you instantly popular or bring Prince Charming to your doorstep. Ironically, when you're chubby, if someone likes you, you KNOW they like you because of your personality - not because you have a hot bod. :wink:

    Get out there and enjoy life. If someone doesn't like you because you have 20, 30, 40 lbs to lose, then they aren't worth knowing. That being said, if there's someone you absolutely are crushing on now - who isn't paying attention to you - if they start paying attention to you when you're thin, you may want to re-evaluate their inner character. Anyone who doesn't like you chubby needs to be kicked to the curb, pronto!

    Always remember to love yourself for the person that you are now (not the person you hope to become).

    Oh... and NEVER SETTLE!!!! You can't meet Mr. Right if you're always with Mr. Right Now.
  • Atlantique
    Atlantique Posts: 2,484 Member
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    Are you only interested in dating people who judge you by your looks?

    I assume she is interested in dating men, so..... :tongue:
  • Karleyyy
    Karleyyy Posts: 857
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    I am not dating because of my weight and because it just doesn't fit into my life right now.
  • locococo
    locococo Posts: 17
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    Well, the important thing about dating is making sure you're comfortable with yourself.
    If you're feeling unattractive, he's going to notice you're uncomfortable and you're not going to be happy.

    But always keep in mind people who don't give you a shot because of looks alone don't deserve you.

    I always find the best way to "date" when you're not quite comfortable with yourself is to not date at all, but rather, join social groups to meet friends. That way people get to know you without the pressure of "omg is he going to think I'm ugly / fat" that comes with dating. Then you never know where it can go from there.

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