I don't know what this means...but i don't like it!!!
allornothinggrl
Posts: 15
So...as of Good Friday I have lost 46 lbs since Jan...No one, other than my immediate family has noticed! I figured co-workers see me everyday, so maybe the change was not so noticable. So Easter weekend we went up north to see my husbands family, whom I hadn't seen since Christmas...I was really expecting a big reveal. I'm not quite half way to my goal of losing 105lbs...but 46 lbs seems pretty significant to me! Nothing!! Not one of them noticed and if they did, not one of them chose to say anything. I made my husband swear to not say a thing...gonna be intresting to see how much more I have to lose before someone notices...
Funny, how people didn't mind asking if I was pregnant when I was heavier...but getting a compliment or encouraging word is like pulling teeth!
So needless to say, I had some emotional eating on Easter. It took me a good 2 days after to get back on track!! Amazing how the flood gates can open in just one day...I realized I wasn't in as much control as I had thought.
So, I didn't get the pats on the back and compliments I was expecting. In a way I think it was good for me, I went from what am I even doing all of this for if no one is going to notice, yep major pitty party...to a little bit of healthy determination to keep going and lose the rest...A little I'll show you! mentality I guess.
So, that's it I guess. Just wanted to get it off my chest...and see if this has happened to anyone else. Was I being overly sensitive because I had it built up in my mind, or was I totally justified in my disappointment?!
Funny, how people didn't mind asking if I was pregnant when I was heavier...but getting a compliment or encouraging word is like pulling teeth!
So needless to say, I had some emotional eating on Easter. It took me a good 2 days after to get back on track!! Amazing how the flood gates can open in just one day...I realized I wasn't in as much control as I had thought.
So, I didn't get the pats on the back and compliments I was expecting. In a way I think it was good for me, I went from what am I even doing all of this for if no one is going to notice, yep major pitty party...to a little bit of healthy determination to keep going and lose the rest...A little I'll show you! mentality I guess.
So, that's it I guess. Just wanted to get it off my chest...and see if this has happened to anyone else. Was I being overly sensitive because I had it built up in my mind, or was I totally justified in my disappointment?!
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Replies
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That is such a shame because 46 pounds is quite an accomplishment. Keep doing it for yourself though and don't let the other's silence be a roadblock to your success! You will have the last laugh! I promise!!!!0
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No one noticed when I lost 90 lbs. And then I realized that it was because my step mom is REALLY big and CONSTANTLY preaches about losing weight. No one wanted to rub it in her face that I the more she preaches, the more she gains and the less I preach, the more I lose. So don't worry about them, you just keep on looking in the mirror and tell yourself, "I'm SUPER sexy today!"0
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I could see where you'd be disappointed. 46 lbs is a BIG difference. As long as you feel good about your progress and can see a difference, that's the most important thing!
You'll show them when you lose all 105 lbs! 0 -
Hopefully they were sidetracked from the holiday! Maybe they didnt want to say anything about noticing your weight loss for fear of insulting you? Not sure, but good job on the weight loss regardless!0
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I never understood why its easier for some folks to nit pick and make nasty remarks but not to hand out compliments when they are due! *I* think your loss is wonderful!!!! I know its not the same coming from a stranger, but YOU ROCK!!!!!0
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I had the same experience with some previous coworkers about a month ago. I was 13 pounds heavier when I worked with them and since the business closed (sadly due to my boss passing away) we get together every so often and I had just gotten into a pair of jeans and a top that I couldn't wear before and no one noticed. I was bummed out too, but I'm over it now because I myself know I'm slowly accomplishing my weight loss. I know 13 lbs. isn't much but if I gain or lose just 5 pounds it is very noticeable on me.
Pat yourself on the back and give yourself a big hug, here's a pat and hug from me. Keep up the good work and don't let people drag you down. Love yourself!0 -
Remember you are doing this for yourself. As good as it feels to have people notice all that matter is how YOU feel. Best wishes in the rest of your journey.0
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Aww, take heart! It could be that they were afraid that if they said something like, "Wow, you look good. Have you lost weight?" that if you hadn't, it'd be implying that they're paying attention to the weight issue. I don't know if that makes sense, but what I'm saying is that people often don't want to guess wrong (altho the pgncy comment is retarded!), so they'd just rather not say anything, and wonder, "Did she? Didn't she?"
At least you know that you're on the right track. Do it for yourself, do it for your kids - forget about what anyone else says or thinks about it. You'll be a healthier you and a better role model for your kids soon enough, and that's something to look forward to and be real proud of!0 -
I wouldn't worry about it... maybe they just don't talk about it... My grandmother noticed when had lost about that much, but all she said was "I hope you keep working, honey, because I really want to see you happy"... I was like, dude, I am happy! now she just always asks "so, are you still working to keep that weight off?" I want to say really evil things to her. Trust me, don't worry when they say NOTHING!!! You are doing such an awesome job We are all happy and excited for you :flowerforyou: 0
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I would have been more than slightly annoyed. I'm just starting out but I swear if my family doesn't say anything after I lose that much weight, I'd be pretty angry too.
But, here's to you getting back on track! Don't forget, we'll notice you've lost the weight and we're happy for you! 0 -
i'm certain it was noticed, even if nobody said anything! I know how you feel though! I think people are just reluctant to say anything unless they really know for sure you are trying to lose weight..at least that's what I tell myself anyway when someone doesn't mention my weight loss, lol! Your doing great, keep it up! 0
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That is so completely rude....they noticed....how could they not?!! Keep working hard and when you are where you want to be and look more fabulous than you do now you can tell them all to go suck an egg!!!0
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Don't do it for them, do it for yourself. Some people may not want to say anything though because they are afraid they may offend you by saying you were fat early.0
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I'm sorry no one noticed. I feel that way a lot too. But, I'm so proud of you for getting back on track and for working your way towards your goal! 0
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I had the same thing happen last year. I was down over 30 and was thrilled. went to a family retirement party. My sister walks in in tight *kitten* clothes, after losing 50 pounds quickly on a liquid diet= and no one said a word to me
sucked big time. 0 -
I can totally relate. 25 lbs in a month...and...NOTHING. Not a word from friends I hadn't seen in months. I also spent a couple of days wondering "why am I doing this?" Then it occurred to me. I'm doing this for ME! And you should be doing this for YOU! Yes, it's nice to get that reassurance, but it's not necessary. You have to be happy with yourself before others will be happy with you. I know I still have a ways to go on my journey, but the only person I have to answer to is myself. Keep up your great work, but don't become a victim of your own expectations. People will notice when they're ready to notice. Until then, STAY THE COURSE!!0
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I'm sorry you didn't hear what you were hoping to...I'm sure that was a let down after all the work you've put into taking care of yourself. BUT>>>>>>
I just clicked on your profile picture, and you have SUCH a beautiful family! Each and everyone one of you looks happy, caring, and loving. Don't get hung up on the co-workers or extended family...look to your immediate family. They must be so proud of how well you've done and I bet you're a great inspiration to them.
How fun will it be when you're healthier than all those Easter people? Oh Yeah!!! :bigsmile:0 -
I had once lost weight, like 30 lbs and a friend of mine told his wife to ask cause he was really afraid of insulting me. You know, the have you lost weight because it's about time comment that some times comes out! As long as you know it...but hey if you want it to stand out go buy a sassy outfit that shows off every new curve!!0
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i understand how you feel and i'm so sorry that no one noticed how hard you've been working...but GREAT job and i think its totally normal to have a pitty party after that! i would have too...i'm the same exact way. I have had a lot of people notice my weight loss BUT one of my best friends hasnt said anything about it and it really hurts. so its almost like she just doesnt want to compliment me or give me any support is how it makes me feel. I get upset just about that!!....but just wait...keep working hard and doing what your doing because obviously its working so the weight will keep coming off and next time they see you hopefully you can show them once again how hard you've been working. Also, sometimes people dont say anything because maybe they are envious of you. glad that you are back on track--its totally normal to have set backs, its getting back on track that counts! Good for you girl!!!!0
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I personally don't ever mention a person's weight, good or bad, because it could be taken the wrong way. "Oh have you lose weight, you look great!", "Why, did I need to lose weight, did I look like **** before"? That kind of thing. The most important thing is that you know you lost it, you probably feel tons better and are so much healthier.
If it makes you feel any better, no one at work nor any of my husband's family said anything about my 50 pound weight loss last year....though I suspect it is why I don't say anything, for fear of offending.0 -
maybe it was the clothing you were wearing too? If you are wearing big shirts or sweaters, its REALLY hard to tell a difference... ? Just a thought... maybe also it has been SO long since you saw them, they were unsure and didn't want to say anything in case you really hadn't and make themselves feel silly for saying anything...0
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That is fantastic!! They must have noticed, but didn't say anything. Don't worry about them...we notice. Keep up the good work!!0
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:flowerforyou: Congratulations on your weight loss!!! Regardless of whether or not others are saying anything, I'm sure you look great. Maybe they aren't sure if it's just that you are in different clothes (I know the heaview I am, the bigger and baggier my clothes, maybe they aren't sure how to give a gracious compliment, or maybe they're just self-absorbed (LOL!). The bottom line is, you are getting healthy and you're doing it for YOU! Keep going--you rock!!!0
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Ahhh.....You sound like one of the unlucky few such as my self and other women of my family that have to lose massive amounts of weight before anyone notices.
It takes a good 50 to 60 pounds before I drop a dress size or any one notices. I've been joking lately that I lost all 30lbs in my face! *Since that's the only place you can tell* - _-
But If you want to put a positive spin on it just think of all of the REALLY bad fat that was around all of your organs smothering you to death.....ITS GONE!0 -
That is a tough one. Sometimes the "weight" subject is considered sensitive and maybe your husband's family was afraid to say anything. But, hey, we all want to hear "good job." So, GOOD JOB!! 46 lb lost is a fantastic job!!!! Just stay on course and I bet you will be getting lots of compliments in no time!! You are already halfway there, and you will feel better and more confident with every pound lost. Keep up the good work and don't let your Easter experience defeat you!0
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Im on the exact same path as you are, and yes Easter weekend was full of food and relatives on my husband's side who didn't say a thing...oh well, I know how terrific I am feeling and that's what motivates me to keep going...onward to 100 pounds!!! I am cheering for you...you have begun a complete tranformation of yourself...keep going!!! Oh, yesterday someone asked me who photoshopped my face...I guess that's the part that has changed the most! Like!0
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I've found it's a delicate thing to bring up. One of my SILs recently lost weight, and I hadn't seen her since Christmastime. I noticed that she looked good, but I really never look at her critically enough to really tell for sure if she lost, how much, or if she was just wearing more fitted jeans. To me, she always looks pretty and well-dressed, no matter what her size. And sadly, I've known some people who are so sensitive that they take a compliment like, "Have you lost weight?" as "Boy, were you FAT!" so I'm cautious about saying anything.
Granted, if they're rude enough to make snide comments when you gained a little, that might not be the case. They must just be {insert bad word of choice here}. And if that's so... screw 'em! :laugh:0 -
Well first of all, my feelings would have been hurt if I were you. However, I have to say that I think some people are oblivious. Ya, some people just don't want to give compliments or are jealousy or whatever but I think its usually 1 of two things. Some people are very unobservant and honestly really don't notice because they are not paying attention. Or some people are afraid to say something because they don't know if it's appropriate to mention it. Anyway, even though you are doing this for YOU and not others...I think it would be sad for your friends/colleagues not to notice. I am sorry that happened. Good luck in the continuation of your your journey! ((hugs))0
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This MFP family is sooo supportive!! Thanks for all of your encouraging words and experiences!! It means a lot to me!! I'm definitely staying the coarse on this journey...I feel too good to give up now...thanks for reminding me...YOU ALL ROCK
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You can find ways to appreciate your achievement even if others don’t acknowledge it (cause you know that they know)
A trick I use. Haul the scales down to the kitchen after a trip to the grocery store. Get on the scale and see if you can pick up enough bags such that the scale registers your starting MFP weight. Now put those bags on the table. Look at em. Now imagine toting those around all day, every day. Yah see, you really have achieved a lot.
Now if I could just get people to notice my teeth…0
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