Getting judged after the loss

So, I am down 122 pounds, and I could not be happier. I feel great, and I am really enjoying the new, thinner me. I run now, and am staying super active. However, now I am getting the people saying I'm too thin. I have stopped losing (I'm still a size 32 pants - which is what I wanted), and my Doctor is happy for me. However, I have people asking me if something is wrong with me because I lost so much weight. Does anybody else get this? How did you handle it?


  • alpine1994
    alpine1994 Posts: 1,915 Member
    My great-grandmother was mad at my entire family and nobody could figure out why. She finally told my mom "I can't believe Jen is sick and nobody told me." She thought I lost weight because I was DYING. Unreal. So yes, I experienced that with a much less drastic weight loss than you so I can only imagine the comments you're getting. All you can do is laugh it off. You don't owe anyone an explanation. A lot of the time it's just jealousy anyway. You're happy and you feel good...don't let anyone ruin that!
  • Thank you so much. :) That means a lot. Great advice. Trying to shake it off.
  • motivatedgirljess
    motivatedgirljess Posts: 22 Member

    That's really great that you have made so much progress! If your doctor is happy for you then obviously you are not at an unhealthy weight. If you feel great then that's what matters. Unfortunately that does put a damper on things if everyone else seems to be saying otherwise... but frankly they probably don't know what they're talking about. People will judge you no matter what. Maybe they are just not used to seeing you this way so now compared to your old self you look "too thin." It's like seeing someone who is normally quiet suddenly become loud. It just doesn't fit their box of who they think you are.

    I have been working really hard at losing weight too. I've lost about 15 pounds but I have gained a lot of muscle so now I look more toned and much smaller. My boyfriend said that I looked "too thin" when I sent him a progress photo so I know how it feels... Eventually he got over the shock of how much I had changed since I had last seen him and he said that I look great. It might not be the same situation for you but maybe people just need to get used to seeing how you are and then they will see how much you have improoved..? Another idea is that maybe people are saying that you are too skinny because you look "small". I don't know if you have a lot of musscle mass or not but maybe that is your problem? Gaining musscle will make you look much bigger and not so "skinny."

    Hope this helps! Good luck!
  • Thank you for the help also. I am working on building my muscle mass up. Maybe that will help! :)
  • sllm1
    sllm1 Posts: 2,157 Member
    When I'm where I want to be weight-wise, I also get "skinny" comments. If your BMI is in a healthy range and your doctor is in agreement that it's a healthy weight, I wouldn't worry about the comments. Some people just don't want you to look better than they do. ;)
  • VelveteenArabian
    VelveteenArabian Posts: 758 Member
    People are so used to everyone being fat that they just assume something is wrong when a person isn't.
  • Giddyduck
    Giddyduck Posts: 213 Member
    I work in healthcare and seriously get asked on average twice a week if I have cancer. I have only lost about 40 pounds and barely have a normal BMI. On Friday while at a conference, I had a colleague that I only see once a year (at this conference) say "Wow, you lost a lot of weight, I didn't know you were that fat. I hope you aren't losing anymore"
    People are so used to the world of heavier that the fit people are outkast.
  • MichelleS08
    MichelleS08 Posts: 109 Member
    I have lost about 65lbs and constantly have family say "don't go to far" don't get to skinny" well for me I just want to be healthy and active and love myself, it's about how YOU feel about yourself. Don't let other people bring you down when you have worked so hard.
  • WOW. You are all making me feel better. It was really annoying to me, but apparently everybody goes through it. I have also had the "didn't know you were that fat" conversation. I just followed that comment up with "Just think if I lost it, you can too". That shut them down on that comment.
  • dym123
    dym123 Posts: 1,679 Member
    Right now I'm not really trying to lose "weight", but lose body fat while building muscle and I get "how much more weight do you want to lose?" all the time. I don't even bother trying to explain my goals anymore, because most people just don't get it.
  • VelveteenArabian
    VelveteenArabian Posts: 758 Member
    People are so used to everyone being fat that they just assume something is wrong when a person isn't.
  • DvlDwnInGA
    DvlDwnInGA Posts: 368 Member
    You said "you couldn't be happier" and that your Doctor is happy for you. You and your Doc are good with it. Who cares what anyone else thinks. Next time someone calls you skinny, say thank you and go on about your day. Congrats on your loss!
  • stealthq
    stealthq Posts: 4,298 Member
    WOW. You are all making me feel better. It was really annoying to me, but apparently everybody goes through it. I have also had the "didn't know you were that fat" conversation. I just followed that comment up with "Just think if I lost it, you can too". That shut them down on that comment.

    Have you noticed how many people start here, look up the healthy weight range for their height, and post that there's no way they could possibly lose that much weight - that they'd look emaciated? And when these same people get down to the initial goal they set for themselves, they realize that they their 'ideal weight' is still quite a bit fatter than they really thought they'd be.

    Most overweight people don't appreciate how much extra weight they themselves are carrying, let alone how much weight someone else has to lose.
  • Jennifer10723
    Jennifer10723 Posts: 374 Member
    LOL .. I can't wait until the day someone thinks I am sick because I am skinny ..lololol. Good for you! I obviously can't help you as I am no where near that point in my journey, but I wanted to comment on your great loss!
  • JeffInJax
    JeffInJax Posts: 232 Member
    Its something you unfortunately get used to. Ive lost 152 pounds so far and I get it from all angles with the comments and people seem to think I am going to become anorexic even though I say I only am 3 pounds from my original goal then ill figure out where I want to go. You know whats best for you.
  • MsWendyjc
    MsWendyjc Posts: 63 Member
    Love reading all of these comments and congratulate the OP and everyone on the success of their fitness journey! I'm only half way and down 22Ibs, not a great deal to lose. funnily enough my man keeps saying don't get to skinny " i like your curves and don't want a stick woman" Lol .. I'm doing this for me and the end result will be what i choose, I've battled for long enough wanting to shed what i don't need and finally found my happy place to fine tune my body .. Keep up the good work everyone and battle on :)
  • Isabelle_1929
    Isabelle_1929 Posts: 233 Member
    edited October 2014
    Don't hesitate to tell people that it's rude to make negative comments on the way you look.

    Because it is.

    Many years ago, in my workplace, I fixed the situation in the lunch room, at noon. I was sick and tired of being calld too skinny or too small, although I was not at all (I was around 110 - 112 pounds for a 5'3, would NEVER skip a meal, and with "perfect" results at annual medical check up).

    (Beside, even if someone was too skinny - how is this his colleagues' business?)

    Anyhow, at lunch time, I told a colleague (who used to comment on my weight and body shape) something like "Wow, in these pants, we really see how your *kitten* is much bigger than it was a year ago". Then - in the silence that ensued - I said calmly: "Now, all of you know how I feel when I am told I am too skinny or does not have the body shape that suit your personal taste. There is no such thing as a "well-intentioned insult". Trust me, I have a harsh comment in bank for any one here who will be tempted to criticize my body shape or weight. If it's not your weight, that'll be your nose, teeth, legs, wrinkles, flabby chin, whatever."

    That was the end of it. No one mentioned this incident ever after, but no one ever made mean remarks on my weight anymore.

  • You guys are truly amazing and inspirational. So happy (yet sad) to hear that this is just a normal thing. Some of you have lost so much and it really inspires me to keep it off. I will just keep brushing it off and appreciate how far I've come.
  • Isabelle_1929
    Isabelle_1929 Posts: 233 Member
    Yes, brushing it off is usually the best solution. Most people don't mean harm.

    What happened in my workplace was the result of months of disparaging comments from a few colleagues ... I obviously do not recommend "having a fit" as soon as someone mentions that you're trimmer than before ! ;-)
  • ohiotubagal
    ohiotubagal Posts: 190 Member
    Congrats to you OP! You just keep your head up and be proud! I know someone who tells me not to lose any more weight...and I'm still 25 pounds from goal.

    It's always interesting to me how people think it's okay to comment on "skinny" but would never go up to someone and tell them they are fat!