Hi fellow gals/guys on this journey

Hi,

My name is Kyndra and I am new here. I just signed up today and have sig. amount to lose. I am less than what I started at 2 years ago but the weight is slowly creeping back on. I have tried CURVES which was great then I moved and there is NO curves here. I joined WW Online because NO meetings here either. I have a problem being accountable and put it off for another day. I lost 68 prior to moving here and another 24 with WW since ive been here. But now its coming back on I have gained 62 back. This is insane.

PHASE 1

I have always struggled with weight except for High School when I was very active and lived off popcorn and ice tea and a daily basis. I just turned 43 years old and am going through my 2nd Divorce. I have excuse after excuse my the end result is ...its me. My self esteem is pretty low due to the weight. People always tell me I'm gorgeous but I don't feel gorgeous. I modelled my first year of college and then got married, had 2 kids, finished school and lived with an abusive husband for 7 years. I turned to food for comfort and my weight climbed to about 240. We eventually divorced and I raised the kids on my own and got 2 more degrees. It was all about the kids and school for a lot of years.

PHASE 2

Started excercising and riding a bike and lost about 40 pounds. I was active and started playing town team volleyball. During a competition I tore my MCL, ACL and LCL in my knee and required surgey and months of rehab. I fell off the weight loss wagon and gained about 50 pounds.

PHASE 3

I met a nice man about 6 years ago and we became close. He was also on a weight loss journey so we were buddies and and good support and accountability for each other. He began cheating on his diet and went from a size XL to a 4X and a size 38 to a 56 after I said yes to him popping the question. By the time the wedding came he was so big I was having second thoughts. We talked about the weight gain and agreed to a plan which I stuck to religiously. He did not. Everything was a struggle for him, even walking. But I married him anyway. On our wedding night I was disappointed to find he was to large to be intimate. We tried several times and were unsucessful. I spent the wedding night in tears.

PHASE 4

The wedding was 6 months ago and it has yet to be consumated. He traveled a lot with his job and quit coming home after only a couple months. I think he was embarassed and knew I was feeling let down. Last month he contacted me through a text and said he wanted a divorce. I dont get it. I was supportive and helpful and wanted us to be a team. All that happened was I was left depressed and wondering what was wrong with me. I gave up on my diet plan in June and have gained 27 pounds since then. I am at 268 now and miserable. I hope this site will help me to help myself get out of this rut and find myself again.

I just started today and am impressed with how easy the site works. For the first time in months I am excited to start this. My goal weight is 135 and I am 5'6"

Would welcome any tips or words of encouragment.

Kyndra